Confusion

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gat1207
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Confusion

Post by gat1207 » Wed Dec 01, 2010 6:21 pm

Over at http://teasedenialandcbt.blogspot.com/. Ivey wrote about Expectation.

My mental reply was:

Me, I loved Disneyland. Not because of all the things you mentioned, they are true, but because of the smile I got each night from my exhausted children.

Can, is chastity the same?

Which leads me to, am I using my wife, FLR and a CB to create for myself the ultimate sex toy?

At http://lfarelationships.blogspot.com Rachel wrote:

“We take a vacation from the LFA during holidays usually but this new years might have a little LFA in it since he wants to have a "formal" intro into giving over his keys to the steel belt. He loves the idea of a "formal" event and is a big fantasy for him. I don't get much out of it but to see him all worked up and excited does make me happy.”

I believe and my wife says she enjoys the “play”. She has in fact expanded areas of our life. However, no matter how you reduce the soup, in the end, it is and always will be my idea

Thumper, as I interpret his longer vs. harder post, has most recently written about acceptance. Has he reached nirvana? Can I somehow reach beyond the fact that for most it was our idea?

I don’t want the ultimate sex toy if somehow I am forcing a lifestyle on anyone, most certainly not the love of my life.

I am doubtful and don’t know where to take this post. I guess that why I throw it out.

Sincerely

gat1207
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mikecb
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Re: Confusion

Post by mikecb » Wed Dec 01, 2010 7:30 pm

Dev and I often chant "GGG" (Good, Giving and Game) when confronted with "why" questions. You suggested chastity play, and your wife has been GGG in doing it with you. Good for her! I think the focus for you should be to be GGG in return. Make sure you understand her needs. Lay it out clearly and let her know "I know you're doing this for me. What can I do in exchange?" Maybe nothing. Maybe she's delighted. Maybe she'll have an idea.

Ultimately, I don't think it's unfair to ask our partners to indulge our kinks, especially if they don't really impact them negatively. If you're both enjoying it, don't worry. Be happy! :-)

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thumper
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Re: Confusion

Post by thumper » Wed Dec 01, 2010 7:49 pm

What he said.

With regard to my last post, I wasn't trying to say we've reached nirvana. We still have good days and bad like any couple in a relationship. The point I was trying to make is that how horny I am or how much I want to come or how much I want the device off isn't necessarily related to how long it's been on me or how long it's been since my last orgasm. Which is to say, it's not a constant build up of pressure until I get to come again. More like a gradual build to a certain level and then an oscillation up and down within a range.

I used to struggle with the "she's only doing it for me" thing. Mike's right about GGG. She might only be doing it because you asked, but that doen't take away from the fact that she's doing for you. I know for a fact that for at least the first half of our playing with chastity and denial that Belle was humoring me. It's taken time, but now she embraces it, too. Maybe more than me. That's a good thing. Maybe your wife will get there, maybe she won't, but don't degrade an action she's taking out of love for you. Lot's of guys don't get that.

Also, I love Disneyland, too.
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Dev
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Re: Confusion

Post by Dev » Wed Dec 01, 2010 10:18 pm

I like (not love) Disneyland. I can't stand Disney World. I think Orlando, FL is a soulless place. But I digress.

Ab and I just had a huge long discussion at dinner about our chastity lives. A big thing that came out is that he is wearing his cock cage because it makes ME hot and it turns ME on. He likes it but I am very much the driving factor. So what's the point? Does that make him a sex object for me? I have no idea (and I am too tired right now to try to figure it out). Point is, while there are some commonalities around chastity it is also becoming increasingly evident to me that we all individualize it---and the latter seems to be the really important part.

D
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Celtic Queen
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Re: Confusion

Post by Celtic Queen » Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:47 am

There's a philosophical view that states that true altruism cannot exist as the altruist is conducting the behaviour benefitting another because it makes them feel good - therefore there is a personal motive and as such, this cannot be classed as pure altruism.

Well, that's fair enough in my world as the good deed still gets done regardless and all are happy - benefactor and receiver.

If your wife is locking you up to make you happy, she is happy because you are happy.


Love, like comedy and sausages, shouldn't be dissected too much - just enjoyed for the bliss of its existence.
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gat1207
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Re: Confusion

Post by gat1207 » Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:17 am

As calm besets around me!

I won’t go that far, but mutual "GGG" (Good, Giving and Game) sounds like a very good idea. If I (we) can make the GGG my (our) own even better. As far as “true altruism” I am not telling what I got in that class(sometimes bad sausage will give it to you) but I like sausage so I know I can let well enough alone. ;)

Thank you all for your input

gat1207
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