Dear Celtic, and Tom, et al,
It's interesting to see the differences (like in Tom's case). Celtic, your question is exactly mine from the previous post. My wife MAY simply be using this as an excuse. In which case, I should have been more "careful with what I wished for". But it also is part of the journey. I want to be careful not to be the one to define what a "good" keyholder does or doesn't do. On the other hand, she may be acting as a very diligent keyholder. In times past, almost ALL of my ejaculations were accidents from a lack of control on my part. It is not unreasonable to see her wishing to avoid them.
Please keep in mind, she still wants intimacy, just without stimulation of my penis. But your point is well taken, I could be spending a very, very lonnnnggg 11 more months.
At this point, I think the best thing is to see how she continues to respond.
David
Has she become AFRAID to tease you?
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?
David,
"Do you think your wife enjoys not stimulating you or does she simply feel that she should avoid it to help your chastity?"
She definitely enjoys not stimulating my penis, that's why she leaves it locked sometimes, when we have sex, because she enjoys my reactions to this. She stimulates me in other ways too, though, so I'm not going without any sexual pleasure. In this, she is quite the voyeur.
We haven't set ourselves any goals with my chastity, so there's no need on her part to 'help'. Chastity is simply my default condition.
I agree with Celtic Queen, that chastity doesn't work without maintenance. Neither of us is interested in celibacy. The other night, even in her present condition of complete disinterest in sex, she still managed a little teasing. She emerged naked from the bath, did a little dance for me, and allowed me to kiss her nipples and little belly. Once. I can't tell you how fulfilling this was...I was awake all night...
Before chastity, such a trifle would probably have gone unnoticed.
"Do you think your wife enjoys not stimulating you or does she simply feel that she should avoid it to help your chastity?"
She definitely enjoys not stimulating my penis, that's why she leaves it locked sometimes, when we have sex, because she enjoys my reactions to this. She stimulates me in other ways too, though, so I'm not going without any sexual pleasure. In this, she is quite the voyeur.
We haven't set ourselves any goals with my chastity, so there's no need on her part to 'help'. Chastity is simply my default condition.
I agree with Celtic Queen, that chastity doesn't work without maintenance. Neither of us is interested in celibacy. The other night, even in her present condition of complete disinterest in sex, she still managed a little teasing. She emerged naked from the bath, did a little dance for me, and allowed me to kiss her nipples and little belly. Once. I can't tell you how fulfilling this was...I was awake all night...
Before chastity, such a trifle would probably have gone unnoticed.
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?
David,
Have you in the past said things like "I want to get all my sexual pleasure from giving you pleasure." Perhaps she's just taking you literally?
Have you in the past said things like "I want to get all my sexual pleasure from giving you pleasure." Perhaps she's just taking you literally?
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?
How true!poinciana wrote:Before chastity, such a trifle would probably have gone unnoticed.
That in a nutshell is exactly what I get out of chastity. Doesn't seem to be much of a point to the orgasm at the end of the road anymore, when the daily experience can be as you described.poinciana wrote:She emerged naked from the bath, did a little dance for me, and allowed me to kiss her nipples and little belly. Once. I can't tell you how fulfilling this was...
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?
That's too bad, I kind of liked the idea of being accidentally locked up and then kept that way for a long time. Oh dear, sorry about your predicament, maybe you should be more careful, maybe I will find that key during spring cleaning.Tom Allen wrote:Nope, I've been swinging free for a while now.
I guess we're not very good at this stuff, huh?
yeah, not very good at it, that's it.
-A
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- Tom Allen
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?
Yeah, well, it was a little while, but I had a doctor's visit, and she removed it that morning. It was kind of funny while it lasted, though.Atone wrote: That's too bad, I kind of liked the idea of being accidentally locked up and then kept that way for a long time.
And yes, I remove it for the doctor's visits, although one time I forgot to ask, and sat there through the exam hoping he didn't need to do a TSA on me.
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Tom Allen
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?
Shane,
I absolutely DID say something like that. (I want to get my pleasure from your pleasure.) So you are right, I may just be getting what I asked for. I am glad you pointed out such a clear piece from the past.
As such, I think I better just keep my mouth shut for a while....
Tomorrow will be one full month.
David
I absolutely DID say something like that. (I want to get my pleasure from your pleasure.) So you are right, I may just be getting what I asked for. I am glad you pointed out such a clear piece from the past.
As such, I think I better just keep my mouth shut for a while....
Tomorrow will be one full month.
David
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?
Hi David - I am a Keyholder may I suggest that you offer to Pleasure your wife Bez uses his tongue in my case I think this would 'break the ice' she might well be concerned about you wanting to acheive your goal and not wanting to cause you frustartion. Just be patient it will work out. Good Luck Sally
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?
I'm a little hesitant at times to mention how long, how often, or whatever that Mrs. Edge and I do anything chastity related because we've been at it a long time, and have done some things that look impressive from a distance. I'm not trying to throw out a challenge because everybody is going to approach this a little differently.davidphd1866 wrote: It's interesting to see the differences (like in Tom's case).
While we played around with my home-made devices for up to a couple of weeks at a time, the CB3k allowed a good combination of comfort & security for us to tackle some long term denial. HOWEVER, we didn't approach it as long term; we simply went week by week, enjoying it as we went.
Initially, we agreed to go for two, maybe three weeks. After two weeks, we agreed that another couple of weeks would be fun. After a month, we agreed that a 2nd month would be doable. After three months, I mentioned that I "had gone for 90 days."
"Yes," my wife said, "the first 90 days."
Our plan was simply to keep going until it was no longer fun for us.
Please note that we never would have sat down that first night and said "Let's shoot for 8-1/2 months." Nor would we have, the next time we played, sat down and said "Let's shoot for 5 months." Nor... well, as I said, each time is different because (for us, anyway) denial can be a bit dull.
Day 1: Didn't have sex. This is so exciting.
Day 3: Didn't have sex again. Whoo!
Day 7: Didn't have sex. Can't you freakin' believe it?
...
Day 29: Didn't have sex. So?
...
Day 135: Didn't have sex. Ho hum...
et cetera.
David, I'm really not sure what you or your wife have in mind as you're doing this. Not that you need to have a plan (as I can attest), but rather, it almost seems like you're in this simply to say "I went a year without coming," and that your wife is in it simply to indulge you. I may be completely missing something, but what I don't see in your posts are the feelings and expressions of intimacy and closeness over a shared experience that I see in the writings of others. From what I can make out, it almost seems that rather than approaching this as an opportunity for increased intimacy, you're approaching this as a project.
I'd be interested in learning where I might be misinterpreting what you're saying. This is not an admonishment, it's just some concern that I've had. And certainly, please feel free to ignore anything I've written.
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Tom Allen
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?
I totally agree with that. I tried to express that over the "year of chastity" thread at the beginning, but Tom's done a better job here.Tom Allen wrote:From what I can make out, it almost seems that rather than approaching this as an opportunity for increased intimacy, you're approaching this as a project.
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Currently wearing: Steelworxx Steelheart
Is also allowed to wear: Mature Metal Jailbird, Steelworxx Looker 02