Has she become AFRAID to tease you?

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davidphd1866
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Has she become AFRAID to tease you?

Post by davidphd1866 » Sun Nov 28, 2010 11:17 am

It's been four weeks (28 days) since my year-long chastity effort begun. So far there have been no slip-ups or near misses of any kind. However, my wife has had an interesting reaction to our challenge:

She is now afraid to even touch my penis unless it is locked for fear of having an "accident". She says that she can't trust my control and doesn't want to ruin the progress towards the goal. In fact, I am now more or less forbidden from initiating ANY intimate or sexual contact with her unless I have my CB safely attached.

It appears then that the "open teasing" will no longer be part of this chastity stint. As such, the cliche about "her pleasure being my pleasure" is really becoming a literal reality.

Has anyone else--particularly those of you who have been in long-term chastity stints--experienced this?

David
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Atone
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?

Post by Atone » Sun Nov 28, 2010 11:34 am

Has anyone else--particularly those of you who have been in long-term chastity stints--experienced this?
yes, but for a different reason. We decided, at least for now, that there would be no teasing going on at all. At least not stimulation of my cock. I do get to pleasure her from time to time though and that is an incredible turn on. And she has on occasion used a whip or crop on me but that is difficult in our house with the kids around, especially the older ones.

As far as not being allowed to initiate sexual contact unless I have my CB safely attached that is not a problem as I am locked up almost permanently. Our MO is to not be let out at all unless it is health related and she also lets me out for a few minutes at a time to change a ring or device but then it is immediately back to being locked up. We both seem to really like it this way.

Oh, and congratulations on completing your first month. It must feel nice to make your first major milestone.

-A
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davidphd1866
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?

Post by davidphd1866 » Sun Nov 28, 2010 12:34 pm

Thank you Atone. I am sort of relieved to hear your response. I say "sort of" because part of me really craves that stimulation of the stroking without cumming, but at the same time, I realize that such playing with the proverbial fire would eventually "burn" me and prevent me from reaching our goals.

I guess what this means is that there is a different aspect or style of chastity that may come into play as couples get deeper into it. (not better or worse, just different) It appears that your wife prefers to give you zero stimulation (at least out of the device) as part of your process. This is clearly the pathway my wife seems to be taking.

David
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wishful4
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?

Post by wishful4 » Sun Nov 28, 2010 2:23 pm

David, sounds like a tough situation to me. T & D is a huge part of the chastity experience for me. It turns me on like crazy. If it's the same for you, maybe you should communicate that to your spouse/KH.
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?

Post by davidphd1866 » Sun Nov 28, 2010 2:37 pm

Hello Wishful,

You are very correct in that communication is key. In my case I DID communicate that I really like the teasing and stroking out of the device. But my wife insists that she is afraid I will have an accident. Therefore, I need to choose between helping us fulfill our goals or my temporary thrill.

Based on the comittment we made to go a full year, I know I'd disappoint her exremely if I insisted on some stroking.

But your point is well taken. The "Be careful what you wish for" cliche is hitting hard about now.

David
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Atone
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?

Post by Atone » Sun Nov 28, 2010 2:40 pm

davidphd1866 wrote:part of me really craves that stimulation of the stroking without cumming,
Oh, I crave that stimulation. Sometimes it is almost unbearable, I just want to be touched. For me it came out of a mental exercise of determining what was being denied. I didn't just want my orgasm denied, I wanted to know what it was like to have *all* stimulation of my penis denied. Really, all physical sexual pleasure for me denied. I don't think that is really possible but this is pretty close.

We aren't necessarily going to do this forever but will for at least the completion of this cycle. At some point I would like to experiment with having a lot of physical stimulation and see how that feels. I am thinking maybe being edged (both by myself supervised, and by my wife) every 2 or 3 days. I don't think I would be able to go as long without orgasms doing it this way. I suspect that after only a few weeks I would either be driving her absolutely nuts asking to come or desiring to stop the edging.

Reflecting on our last cycle where I was edged 3 or 4 times over 45 days I think that may be a good long term approach. It led to a lot of nice full body massages for my wife too now that I think about it. That may be good encouragement for her to try that approach again.
It appears that your wife prefers to give you zero stimulation (at least out of the device) as part of your process.
This was actually an idea that I originated and that she agreed to. She certainly seems ok with it though :)

-A
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Celtic Queen wrote: Some stuff works for some people, other stuff doesn't and you just have to adapt the lifestyle to what works for you both.

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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?

Post by davidphd1866 » Sun Nov 28, 2010 2:55 pm

"Oh, I crave that stimulation. Sometimes it is almost unbearable, I just want to be touched. For me it came out of a mental exercise of determining what was being denied. I didn't just want my orgasm denied, I wanted to know what it was like to have *all* stimulation of my penis denied. Really, all physical sexual pleasure for me denied. I don't think that is really possible but this is pretty close."


This is what seems to be happening now. My wife is wishing to remove ALL penile related sexual pleasure for me....at least until I reach our goal. It sure brings a new face to chastity.

David
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wishful4
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?

Post by wishful4 » Sun Nov 28, 2010 3:13 pm

]
davidphd1866 wrote: My wife is wishing to remove ALL penile related sexual pleasure for me....at least until I reach our goal. It sure brings a new face to chastity.

It does indeed. Guess my next question is, what will it be replaced with? Will you be getting all your pleasure from pleasuring her or will she stimulate you in other ways? Its an interesting dilemma. I will be following your progress. Best of luck!
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Wishful4
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?

Post by davidphd1866 » Sun Nov 28, 2010 3:18 pm

Wishful,

There is little doubt, knowing my wife, that I will have to derive ALL of my pleasure from her pleasure. She appears to value the goal of me not cumming more than my stimulation.

David
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Dev
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Re: Has she become AFRAID to tease you?

Post by Dev » Sun Nov 28, 2010 5:59 pm

David,

I've been thinking about this message all day. This is an interesting situation that your wife has presented to you. I think you comment that she wants you to help you reach your goal is interesting. No stimulation so you can not have an orgasm? Okay, that's one way to look at it. But I guess if it were me, I'd say, let's do everything "as usual." No extra stimulation to try to make you come, but also not less stimulation to ensure that you don't come. Let's just keep things right in the middle where they always are. But like I said, that's me and I'm not your wife.

D
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