Michael and Melissa's blog

Living the real life under lock and key
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Celtic Queen
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Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 7:08 am
Location: Wales, UK

Re: Michael and Melissa's blog

Post by Celtic Queen »

Kiki wrote: All I know is that I want to make him happy, whether that is control, denial, teasing, or...?! ;-)

So far, it has been really fun for me as well! And as long as we keep it that way, I guess we're doing it right.
Kiki, it is an absolutely tortuous set of logic to get your head round at first but in essence, his happiness is predicated on yours. But you, as a loving female partner just want to make him happy because we are nice like that - but - it makes him happy to be controlled - which isn't a standard loving female behaviour.

Loving Female Dommes are rare for a good reason. The emotional and mental gymnastics involved are exhausting and go against everything we are encultured to be. My view is that this goes some way to explaining why these power exchanges require superhuman levels of understanding and communication to work. I love my man, but he wants me to hurt him, but I love him so I don't want to hurt him.....

That said, there is something eminently satisfying in giving his backside a damn good tanning if he gets stroppy with me so perhaps I'm not as nice as I would like to think I am :lol:
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"Only the man whose neck is bent may bear the oppressor's heel"
www.celticqueen.co.uk/blogs
Kiki
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Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 2:20 pm
Location: California, USA
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Re: Michael and Melissa's blog

Post by Kiki »

To make it even more complicated, we are actually both switches! %-)

But yeah, I've done some of those mental gymnastics over the years and I do get the d/s dynamic... the denial is a new wrinkle for me, though. However, I am well familiar with the joy of making him squirm!

And I do see the dynamic of him being happy when I'm happy and concerned when I'm not - even in little things such as how caring he acts if he sees me do something like bang my elbow on the car door, or if I'm struggling with something heavy. It's very sweet and I am certainly appreciative - it makes him a great boyfy and a thoughtful and pleasing lover.

Mostly right now we are attempting to work out the logistics of how and how long to go. I'm loving this kind of play but I don't want to overdo it, or demand too much (we had a rather subdued cycle not long ago so I am cautious). I've been playing dice games to determine how long to make him stay in, and I'm considering also using the dice to determine how long he gets/has to stay out. That way I can be wicked without it being entirely my responsibility! Plus it's so much fun making him roll to determine his fate.

Thanks for your thoughtful comments. I'm feeling my way along and really enjoying this, and hoping we can make it part of our lives on an ongoing basis.
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