Any dominate men in chastity with a submissive partner?

[Barons]

In my experience chastity is most commonly practiced by or displayed as a submissive male with a dominate female. Are any of you in the reverse situation where the man is in chastity in a dominate sexual role while the female is submissive?

My wife and I have been experimenting with chastity games on and off for a while. I've recently pressed her to take part in more strict chastity for me. I'm pushing for 6 months or more and we are having trouble finding ways she can deny me while at the same time not taking a controlling part in our sex life. Currently we've made this work by role playing that she has to earn my seed.

It works good for us but I'd like to come up with more ways for her to extend my denial. In short despite me being more dominant in the bed room the appeal to chastity is still having my limits pushed.

Anyone else in the same boat or have ideas/suggestions?

[TwistedMister]

Similar boat, but not the same. My wife has a dominant sort of personality everywhere *but* the bedroom and it has been challenging for her to become comfortable with 'control' in that area. And *I* am not particularly 'submissive' in or out of the bedroom, but I find the idea (and the reality) of *forced* control highly erotic.

In your situation, perhaps you could make use of some sort of 'game of chance', designed with odds that are sufficiently high enough to suit your desire for longer terms of chastity. Your desire to have *her* denying *you* could be appealed to by designating her as the one who draws the card, rolls the dice or selects the marble, while the actual outcome is left to chance. She would not actually be 'in control', but it would be her action that is instrumental in determining the result. She would be remaining 'submissive', perhaps hoping that luck will be in her favor and she will 'win' the chance to enjoy the pleasure of your being unlocked, while you could remain dominant in all other areas but dependent on her 'luck' in order to gain release. That would effectively remove control from both of you while permitting you to otherwise continue in your chosen/preferred roles.

[Atone]

There are others on this forum with this dynamic. Unfortunately I cannot remember who at the moment. I'm not sure how to help with searching for their posts other than to say that what you are looking for is there.

[Sir Chaste]

Barons: That is indeed a difficult question to answer! If you have been reading these Forums for any length of time, you have certainly found that the desired power relationship between the CD wearer and his KH is one in which the wearer strives to place the needs of his KH above his own. The wearer hopes that by pleasing his KH he will be eventually be rewarded, and that his own needs and desires will then be satisfied. However, you wrote that you have "recently pressed" your wife "to take part in more strict chastity" for you. You said that you want her to deny you "while at the same time not taking a controlling part in" your "sex life." By making your wife role play "that she has to earn" your seed, you have essentially placed a collar around her neck and turned her into a Gorian sex slave. Exactly who is wearing the locked CD and who is holding the keys in your marriage? She may be physically holding the keys, but if she is subject to your will, you might just as well be holding them yourself! The whole purpose of CD play, tease and denial, and the MC lifestyle is that you demonstrate your love for your wife by voluntarily giving her the control over your sex life, and that you place your trust in your KH to make decisions that will improve your marriage and ultimately will benefit both of you.

[celticqueens_sub]

I see what Mike B is saying but I think it misses the point that being denied for some is a sexually fulfilling in its own right and not cumming is the same. Trying to stand in Barons shoes.. If you are the Dom and she is the sub, then it is up to you when you cum? I am struggling to understand being a dom and wanting to be controlled. Is that not what switching is about? Being in a D/s relationship I really struggle, perhaps in the same way as Mike B as to how it would work. For us orgasm management is not the sole key to our D/s relationship, it is just a method that CQ uses to exert control over me. Not sure I am making a lot of sense...

[Sir Chaste]

celticqueens_sub: It is extremely confusing! Barons' wife has been placed in the position of having to ask him for his permission in order "to exert control" and deny him. And even then, she might be worried as to whether or not she is doing the right thing. To me, it represents a total contradiction!

[celticqueens_sub]

It is complex and I am not sure I see it quite that black and white.. I need to chew it over for a bit.

[poor]

It just seems like formalised Topping from the bottom. This makes his wife into a service Top who Doms at his behest. As sex play it could work but I can't see it providing both parties fulfilment in the long term.

Edit: No, it's the opposite - bottoming from the Top; how does that work?

[poor]

OK. Try this: the OP wants to be kept in chastity but doesn't identify with the submissive stereotypes that he has found everywhere else. He's a man and his partner isn't a Domme and he's trying to enjoy being in chastity for longer without being submissive sexually to his partner.

[Barons]

Let me provide a little more detail. I think I am better classified as a switch that enjoys being dominate a little more than being submissive. I can identify with the chastity stereotypes but other than being teased which is my favorite part of chastity it's the lose of control or the illusion of it that get's me aroused. I mean I'm sure the same chastity porn that turns you on also works for me. I just prefer the type where the women is being covertly dominate or sweetly convincing or begging her husband into chastity much more so than I do the types where she is demanding it.

I may not be doing a very good job of explaining all this. I mean out side of our sex life we're just average people. She's a teacher that has to boss little kids around all day and I'm in customer service where I have to grit my teeth and take peoples shit all day. For years we had plan vanilla sex that was mediocre at best once the newness wore off. We decided to spice it up and start role playing out each others fantasies.

My wife's were about being put in bondage and teased, being spanked, being told exactly what to do, She really loves being teased and talked dirty to, but always likes to get off in the end.

My fantasy was to have her suck me off on command, to start practicing a modified version of tantric sex, and also a few submissive ones too. Having my balls squeezed and sometimes being teased and denied orgasm.

My wife is happy with how things are but she could tell I wasn't as into it as before. She got me a Curve and we started chastity play, which normally resulted in me being denied for a couple of weeks at a time. Sense then I've grown to love fucking her and having her tease me knowing I'm not going to get off in the end. The amount of control I have to put into not getting off is awesome to me. She likes how I act when I've been denied for a while and says it brings out more of my primal nature. Like she's having sex with a raging beast.

I'm looking to push my limits and get her to be more involved with the length of time I'm locked up. The longest I've ever went denied was about 3 months. When our new device comes I want to experience long term denial. I'd like to get into setting records and then breaking them each time before I get off. I'm just not sure how to fit it into our current style. Which is me coming up with elaborate sexual encounters and role playing them out. The part I want to change is that currently i'm keeping myself in chastity for the most part. I mean she is technically holding the keys but as mentioned above, she has never really played a direct role in keeping me locked up or extending my period of denial.

In short we are happy with how things are. I'm just wanting to get way more serious about it than we have been in the past. We ordered a Lori's tube that should be arriving soon and once I get used to warring it I want to change things up a little so that it doesn't seem like we're doing the same old stuff. Games are a good idea, We've also done a ratio of her orgasms, buy my main hope is to no longer be the one that decided when I get to orgasm. It's still all about us making each other happy in the end.