Jumpstarting Communication.............

[Atone]

I am sure Tom Allen will jump in here any minute and tell us that some people prefer polycarbonate devices and why are we dissing them all the time

I think there is a lot of unrealized potential in the polycarbonate devices (appearances aside). If someone made custom plastic devices I suspect they would sell well. If they figured out how to make them out of a single piece with no seems that would be even better. I started to look in to making carbon fiber parts a while back, that would be a really cool material to use. I decided it was too much work for too little benefit right now, the learning curve is a little steep to just make one.

-A

[wishful4]

Wow! Thanks for a lot of great responses. All have merit. Dev is right that this should be discussed face to face so that is what I did last night. After thinking carefully about what I wanted to say and limiting it to one or two things, we had our talk. Bottom line is she ok with chastity play and enjoys T & D. She is even ok with me wearing the CD around the house but is concerned about wearing it out. We live in a very small town and she's concerned that if it were discovered, it would affect our children & their families. We are in our upper 50's(oh no, more geezers )and she worries that if I had an emergency that required immmediate medical attention, the device may be discovered. She has read the keyHolders Guide, but still cannot fully understand why I wish to have my "junk" locked up. I explained how it makes me feel to wear it and how it makes me focus on her. As David said, I am thankful for what I have.

My next step is to try and persuade her to read and join this forum. Other KHs may be able to give her their perspective and the benefit of their experience. She has not been receptive in the past to airing our "laundry" to others, but I will attempt to nudge her in that direction. I love her so very much and my main concern is to not destroy the progress we have made by trying to be too pushy. Thanks again to everyone that responded.

[Dev]

We live in a very small town and she's concerned that if it were discovered, it would affect our children & their families. We are in our upper 50's(oh no, more geezers )and she worries that if I had an emergency that required immmediate medical attention, the device may be discovered.

I think I am going to write a blog post on Kinky Parents and Their Adult Vanilla Children. Seriously, I have read so many blogs lately where the parents are worried about their adult children finding out about their kink and being totally appalled. In one case, the guy and his wife had their two adult children move back home (financial difficulties). His kink is spanking and apparently he's very noisy so he's annoyed that when the kids are in the house, he can't have his grown-up playtime. In another blog, the woman decided to get rid of all their gear that was distinctly sexual (ie, handcuffs) and now only has what she calls "pervertibles" (I call them found objects) in the house, ie, scarves for tying up and blindfolding, feathers for tickling, wooden stirrers for paddling, just so there is no chance the kids will find out what they enjoy in bed on those rare occasions when the kids drop by. This begs the question, of course, of why the kids are rummaging through the parents private stuff but whatever...

Why are we all so worried about our kids and why do we all assume they are vanilla? My son has a very sweet girlfriend and frankly, I hope they have a little kink going on. Makes it a lot more fun, don't you think? If you read Dan Savage, I'd guess that 85% of his letter writers are kinky people and I'd also guess that 85% of them are between the ages of 18-34 -- in other words, OUR kids! Well, maybe not OUR kids, they are someone else's kids because OUR kids are all vanilla, right? LOL.

Over at his blog, Mikecb is posting a fun story about an 18 year old who is wearing a chastity belt because he discovered his dad had one and he was fascinated. The mom said, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree..." when she found out what the son wanted. Even though you might say this is TMI in terms of what the parents/kid know about each others' sex lives, the premise is sort of fun...we pass our kink on in our genes. You can read the story here:

http://mikecbwearer.blogspot.com/

He has 2 chapters up and tells me there are many more to come.

D

[jnuts]

Im sure heir kids aren't going through their things. I'm 99% sure my mother has some crazy shit going on and I do everything I can to keep from discovering it.

[Dev]

Im sure heir kids aren't going through their things. I'm 99% sure my mother has some crazy shit going on and I do everything I can to keep from discovering it.

Didn't you tell us they get your account mixed up with your dad's at the adult toy store?

D

[jnuts]

Yes, but my parents are divorced. Anything he buys is most likely a solo endeavor since he is never in a relationship long enough for toys.

[wishful4]

Dev wrote"
Why are we all so worried about our kids and why do we all assume they are vanilla?

Very funny! My daughter once said she and her friends at school tried amongst themselves to think of the most gross thing. What they came up with was their parents having sex! Ha! If they only knew.

BTW, love Mike's story. Wouldn't be surprised if that were the case with my son. His wife seems to run the show. My KH/spouse can't stand her. I told her it's because they are very much alike.

[Dev]

I have often said that I have no idea where my sister came from, since my parents slept in twin beds always. They never had a double bed that they shared. In fact, they had friends who re-did their bedroom and made it big enough for a king sized bed and my mother used to sniff and disdainfully say they were "sex maniacs." LOL.

My husband, on the other hand, has this very unusual picture of his parents. His father is laying face-down on their double bed. His mother is straddling her husband's hips and apparently giving him a neck massage with something that looks like a Wahl vibrator (the style of those things hasn't changed since forever). Who took the picture? Ab tells me that he just knows that vibrator got used in other places besides his father's neck.

D

[Tom Allen]

I think I am going to write a blog post on Kinky Parents and Their Adult Vanilla Children. Seriously, I have read so many blogs lately where the parents are worried about their adult children finding out about their kink and being totally appalled.

On another forum a while back, a woman wrote in that she was pegging her husband in the living room, when their daughter came home from college for a surprise visit. The thing that bothered me about the story was that the couple pretty much gave up any kink at all because it freaked the daughter out so much.

The Edgelette is 15, and I talk to her about some of my dating exploits from back when I was younger and singler. She knows that mom and dad have a romantic life, and sometimes we intentionally make out in front of her, just to shake her up a bit.

Our society is totally screwed up about sex, although I do sometimes wonder if many of our kinks aren't fueled by that in the fist place.

[poinciana]

In my case my wife is Japanese and I'm caucasian, so 'normal' lines of communication are somewhat disrupted by cultural differences. So when it comes to talking, less is more. For her, actions speak louder than words.

We toyed around with a little chastity play, teasing and denial at the beginning, but she couldn't really see what was in it for her. Once she became pregnant, however, she could immediately see the benefit of not having a randy husband bothering her through her morning sickness, which lasts for months.

We just continued with chastity after the baby.