All;
WOW! thanks for all the advice/suggestions and insight on this topic. As I mentioned in the opening post, before I was married to my now Key Holder, oral sex was a huge part of foreplay for me. I nearly never provided cunnilingus to my lady without eventually having penetrative sex. (Is nearly never a double negative?) Also rare was simply enjoying some form of 69 (pick a position, but what I mean is mutual oral sex). As far as the mechanics of "how" I feel pretty confident but truthfully, lesbian porn has caused me to think I am doing it right but instead has caused me to miss some very subtle cues from my wife....
Shaving? DUH! What a dope I have been....I do have a mustache and I used to have a beard, so my facial hair growth is very active. I am very scratchy and sometimes I do shave before we make love and sometimes I don't depending on the time of day. Stupid me. My wife ALWAYS comments on how she loves the scent of my shaving cream (Gillette Foamy) and she ALWAYS comments positively when I come to bed shaved. DUH, so obvious and I am so oblivious. Thanks for the reminder.
This is an easy thing to fix....
Pressure? As Dev suggested, coming at this from the right angle could make all the difference. Like Thumper and the other guys I usually approach this from right between her legs. Straight on so to speak. However, I have noticed that when I use my hands to stimulate her she will often move me off from her clitoris, so there is obviously something about being overly stimulated there that is a problem. She also doesn't like to talk about it afterward, which makes it a tad more difficult for me to know what to do. However, when I am using my hands she does whisper things that I can just barely here, like "yes right there"..but when I am between her legs, I can't make out what she is saying.... I think I will have to give the new angle idea a try, thank you!
Psychological? This is a huge part of the deal for my wife, just like Belle mentioned. She tends to think of sex as intercourse only. She is a great kisser but prior to me being in a CD it was rare that we kissed for very long. It was always right on to business, which made me feel like our love making was a task to complete. As if it was one part of a scheduled event, or worse yet, an unscheduled event that was forgotten, but had to be done. Since, practicing Chastity, there is zero pressure on her, since we have agreed that she is totally in control. We do agree to terms first, but then she takes the drivers seat. What is interesting is that she suddenly loves to tease me now. She spent a small fortune at Victoria's Secret and I just bought her Lucy Fairborn's book on Male Chastity (Key Holder's guide). Her kisses have been more frequent and more passionate then ever. I can only surmise that the reason is that unlike pre-Chastity a kiss was a prelude to "Let's go make love" and now it's a "Show me how much you love me and want me, baby." And since there is zero threat of me being able to push things any further than the kiss, I find that she is far more into being sexy around me. I guess it's no surprise to say that I really, really, like it this way. I think I may have mentioned this somewhere else on this forum, but I find that I spend a lot more time thinking about ways to get her attention and approval. So, it's all good.
Thanks again for all the posts...
JP
PS. Just a question to all those New England readers: When I first moved to New England I noticed a use of grammar that I have never encountered anywhere else in the US. I call it the New England negative. The usage goes something like this; "I don't take my coffee with milk. So, don't I. or So doesn't he." Instead of so do I or so does he. It's interesting because I have only heard it here in New England....anybody else notice that?