Chastity in all its guises

Living the real life under lock and key
mykey
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Re: Chastity in all its guises

Post by mykey » Thu Nov 11, 2010 3:12 am

Like you we use it as part of a d/s lifestyle. For us though its simply one of the tools or toys we use within in. We arent into long term chastity, although we do long term orgasm denial. The denial is certainly one of the foundations of her dominance over me.

I find it unsurprising that you didnt get turned on by humiliating your husband. Neither does my wife. In our case we both love humiliation games, for me they are a turn on, but for her they appeal to her domly sadistic streak. So she very much enjoys embarassing me but its not a sexual turn on, more of a sexually sadistic bit of plain good ol' fun. We dont take it too seriously, im a confident guy and it doesnt cut deep. If it did she would not enjoy it at all.

Back to the subject at hand. Chastity as a tool, as a toy, not as humiliation or control, those are things she has anyway because she knows me well and I am hers. In our case chastity is also a way for her to keep my hands off myself when she goes to visit her boyfriend. I am normally allowed to touch myself and can almost always be trusted not to cum. She enjoys taking that ability from me now and then, especially when she is out with him. She knows that thinking of what she is up to turns me on and I would love to touch myself, hence she enjoys stopping me, she loves to deny me :) Yes I know its the dreaded cuckold, but hey its fun and works for us. No im not a sissy :)

M
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Celtic Queen
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Re: Chastity in all its guises

Post by Celtic Queen » Thu Nov 11, 2010 3:57 am

As a cuck then (and not a sissy!) am I way off beam with my last point? Is the use of chastity specifically in cuckoldry a negation or reduction of your masculinity do you think?
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mykey
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Re: Chastity in all its guises

Post by mykey » Thu Nov 11, 2010 4:25 am

Yes way off. I'm a very sexual guy. This play enhances that if anything. My wife would never have married me if i wasn't pretty driven, passionate and sexual. So rather than negation this is a play on it, she denies me one of of my greatest pleasures, affirming the pleasure, driving my submission by denying me it, and pleasing her own sadistic side.

To me negation has connotations of devaluing, or reducing. This does the opposite. We are both more together, have had more fun even while apart, and are sexually enjoying ourselves.

I know a lot of cuck writing has that negative, sometimes even self loathing tinge to it. I personally question how many of them are in real relationships. That feels like negation to me.

To us the d/s relationship is a foundation of our marriage. I am hers, she is my mistress my friend and my love. That is no game. Everything else, spanking, chastity, open marriage, it's all fun and excitement. Not to be taken too seriously. They are trappings of d/s and come and go with our and her mood.

Hope I made sense and am not banging on too much :)

M
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Dev
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Re: Chastity in all its guises

Post by Dev » Thu Nov 11, 2010 7:11 am

Oh and Dev, I totally would have sat on the stool everytime Ab set it down. Not to humiliate him, that is just the stupid sense of humor I have.
Now there's an idea. Why didn't I think of that? :D
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thumper
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Re: Chastity in all its guises

Post by thumper » Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:04 pm

mykey wrote:I know a lot of cuck writing has that negative, sometimes even self loathing tinge to it. I personally question how many of them are in real relationships. That feels like negation to me.
The only kind of cuck scenarios that get me going are the kind you have (lucky bastard). When the cuck is a he-slime boot licker, it's just not hot at all...
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mykey
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Re: Chastity in all its guises

Post by mykey » Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:57 pm

Really? I had got the impression you had stopped reading that part of my blog. Dunno why, and clearly mistaken.

I'm totally with you thumper. Its bloody annoying when you start reading a story that draws you in for a few minutes then goes off inexorably into that realm. I found one recently where the guys wife castrated him. I mean honestly how much more he-slime useless cock can you get? And the writer got a compliment!

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thumper
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Re: Chastity in all its guises

Post by thumper » Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:15 pm

mykey wrote:Really? I had got the impression you had stopped reading that part of my blog. Dunno why, and clearly mistaken.
Clearly! Dude, I am following along in rapt attention. I'm very happy for both of you (and more than a little envious).
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mykey
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Re: Chastity in all its guises

Post by mykey » Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:54 pm

Well thanks! Yeah it's fun. Feeling is mutual though, your own situation is pretty exciting to me.
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Tom Allen
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Re: Chastity in all its guises

Post by Tom Allen » Thu Nov 11, 2010 5:49 pm

Celtic Queen wrote: So, I would say that this forum is quite specific in both scope and audience as a sub set of a broader interest group namely people practicing chastity. I would say as a first punt that the main interest on here is the relatively "mainstream" use of chastity for its own sake as a sex game (Shoot me down on this if you like) I got to thinking OK, what's the broader spectrum of chastity?

1. Chastity as a fun sex game
2. Chastity as a tool of humiliation
3. Chastity as a mark of ownership
4. Chastity as a behaviour modification tool
5. Chastity within CBT practices
6. Chastity as negation of male sexuality
When I used the term "game" in my response to MsScarlett, I didn't mean it quite so literally. My intent was to point out that some of us utilize chastity & OD as a way to enhance intimacy, i.e., it's a tool (which is probably a more correct term than "game").

Mrs. Edge sees it as a fun, interesting way to encourage more attention from me, without her needed to feel as if she has to reciprocate or even engage if she doesn't want to. Both of us being somewhat of a practical mindset, the idea of it used as behavior modification, or even of ownership seem a bit far-fetched.

Since I have a kinkier mindset, however, I could be easily encouraged to see it as a manifestation of D/s, or rather, to see the D/s elements within our use of it.

A while back I wrote about how our idea that it's about the negation of male, or specifically, my sexuality, is ridiculous. Some people might play that, but Mrs. Edge enjoys locking me up not because it's worthless, but because it's valuable (to her, anyway).

Not sure if I have anything to add to this list, but I don't think that you can underestimate that just bringing up the topic itself can be a way to enhance intimacy for couples that rarely (if ever) talked much about sexuality in the first place.
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Shane67
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Re: Chastity in all its guises

Post by Shane67 » Thu Nov 11, 2010 6:23 pm

Thumper jealous of MyKey? And vice versa? From here, it's like ... I don't know ... Peyton Manning being envious of Tom Brady? Keith Richards being envious of Mick Jagger? I'll let you guys decide who's who. The rest us count ourselves lucky to be able to read about your adventures. :D

MC is mostly a fun sex game for my wife. She thinks of it as a "kink with benefit." For me, it's a way to live out, if only a little, the sex life that's been mostly in my head for so long. One of the underlying tension in our relationship still is that I would like to check off more, if not all, of the items in Celtic Queen's list.
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