Conception / Artificial Insemination

[hot_toddy_dog]

Me and my wife have been trying to get pregnant for a while now and have not had any luck yet. It's the fourth month we've been at it and I have to say, I'm really rather unhappy about how many orgasms I've been having. Don't get me wrong, I love the sex, I could fuck for hours... I just wish I didn't have to cum at the end. Like many here, once I'm satiated, it tends to stay that way, I pick up old bad habits again. I'll let you guess what those are. Let's just say that for me to be - and to stay - a loving, devoted husband, and most importantly, a happy and healthy person, for me, orgasm has to be denied completely, full stop, no ifs, ands, buts, excuses, and only one exception - conception.

Although it's still early in the process, we've talked about fertility testing to be sure our chances are good and it occurred to me that maybe there is another way to do this. If I can manage to have a semen sample collected via prostate massage - we might consider not just testing, but using artificial means to impregnate my wife as well. It's obviously possible, and it actually means you can time the introduction of sperm much better - and I won't have to make a run home from the office because she is ovulating. I have some doubts about self-collecting, as we have not yet indulged in any anal play, and I have no idea where to get the medical equipment to store and introduce the "specimen", but given proper guidance and equipment to do this sanitarily, even that may be possible. I don't want to pay $$$ for fancy technology beyond simple sperm testing and sample collection / introduction, and the only (not so uncommon as you may think) requirement is using prostate massage rather than masturbation to collect it. This seems entirely possible within the medical establishment, and on top of it, might provide a way to get my wife pregnant without me having an orgasm.

For us, this would be the holy grail - this would eliminate my last "exception", and with it, my last hope for an actively stimulated, unspoiled orgasm. Not that I plan on having spoiled orgasms either, but I have to at least acknowledge the possibility - hopefully a small enough device can ensure that any ejaculation produces more pain than it does pleasure. I've never had a prostate induced orgasm, but even if it does happen during collecting, the increased chances for success with this approach means it should only happen once. If it's possible to self-collect, I understand that icing down the penis during the collection / milking generally stops any orgasm like sensations during the process.

I will of course continue to do my own research, but if anyone has any information about this it would be greatly appreciated. I'm especially unfamiliar with anything to do with milking / prostate massage other than I do know that it isn't required even in the context of long-term OD, but I'm unaware of the affects it has. I seriously doubt that I could convince my wife to indulge me in that - I mean it took two years to convince her to accept chastity - and now I'm asking her to wear a glove and put her fingers up my ass? Don't think so, but if this provides a way to introduce that and it actually has beneficial effects - increased sex drive / desire, intense pleasure that doesn't result in orgasm, temporary, or with regular practice, complete inability to orgasm would be desired effects - then this is certainly something - relevant to my interests.

[TwistedMister]

She doesn't *have* to use her fingers- there are prostate massage devices available, the 'Aneros' being one of them.

I don't think there is really any need for ice either, I've never felt anything like an orgasm during prostate massage. There *is a 'peculiar' sensation but it's more frustrating than satisfying.

Also, AFAIK, 'artificial insemination' typically occurs completely externally. Oocytes are removed from the female and then the male spermatozoon is introduced. Following successful fertilization, the resulting zygote is then implanted in the female. This procedure is not cheap- when my wife and I were attempting to conceive we were quoted a price of $15,000.00 per attempt, whether successful or not.

If you are having trouble conceiving naturally then you should consider fertility testing, which is [usually] covered by most(?) health insurance plans.

I'm not sure that DIY artificial insemination would be particularly successful. Without the proper cryogenic equipment, sperm remain viable for only a relatively short time.

[hot_toddy_dog]

There *is a 'peculiar' sensation but it's more frustrating than satisfying.

Perfect.

Also, AFAIK, 'artificial insemination' typically occurs completely externally. Oocytes are removed from the female and then the male spermatozoon is introduced. Following successful fertilization, the resulting zygote is then implanted in the female. This procedure is not cheap- when my wife and I were attempting to conceive we were quoted a price of $15,000.00 per attempt, whether successful or not.

This is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about "turkey-baster" style, exactly what is done with women who choose to get pregnant from a sperm bank, not external fertilization and implantation, which is obviously prohibitively expensive and invasive (as you also have to collect the egg). It should be far more reasonable to have sperm collected and frozen or otherwise preserved for delivery, then track ovulation time via temperature, etc and deliver it.

If you are having trouble conceiving naturally then you should consider fertility testing, which is [usually] covered by most(?) health insurance plans.

I discovered our timing has been off by a week, which places us squarely outside the proper time frame for ovulation, so it's really not too surprising.

(Edit - I fixed the Quote formatting for you. -TA)

[kpb57]

Many things can be detrimental to a planned conception.

Any kind of stress can prevent the fertilized egg to "nest in" (is that the right translation?).

With both of "our" successful pregnancies we found that the removal of an external stress factor (her situation at the office, change to a better boss / better department) was the spark that led to the conception.

Maybe the fact that you are doing something (orgasm) that she knows you don't actually like to do causes some subconscious anxiety.

Just try to take it easy, four months of trying is actually not much.

K

[hot_toddy_dog]

lol, thanks kpb57... 4 months of trying for one to three days only ON THE WRONG WEEK certainly isn't helping that much yet. I just really, really would prefer not to orgasm at all, and I know it's medically, gynecologically, and logically possible. On some level, having a child with my last orgasm would be satisfying in and of itself, but on a deeper level, I'd prefer to absolutely avoid that if it is at all practical and just be done with orgasm now.. and practical advice is all I'm looking for here.

The unpredictability of the whole process along with the temptation to lax off into satiated, lazy, non-exercising, non-sexual toddy mode combine to make me not such a happy smurf for the past four months, so I am getting anxious and hoping to come to a good place soon before hot toddy does something he might actually regret. A non-orgasmic procreation method would perfectly solve this problem.

[Belle]

Jnuts is my second husband. In my first marriage I underwent years of fertility treatments, including 3 failed IUI's, which his what you refer to as the "turkey baster" style. Feel free to PM me any questions you have. Been there, done that.

[poor]

I can't help but feel that you are too 'zoomed in' on the small matter of 'how' rather than the 'what' of your intentions.

You are planning to create a child. If your life is ordered to the degree that you don't wish to disrupt your mojo by not even using the usual method to fertilize, how will you cope with the umpteen dozen upsets your progeny will deliver daily? How will you feel if having frozen your genitals and using a kitchen tool as substitute your child has any permanent physical or mental abnormalities?

It's big stuff and it lasts for the rest of your life.

[Belle]

I have to agree with poor. I now have 2 children (conceived the natural way with Jnuts) and it was a totally different experience. Even though the children I was trying to have with my ex were wanted very badly, there is something special knowing that my girls were conceived out of love and a physical desire between Jnuts and I. This is not to take away from people who can not conceive naturally and resort to AI as a last resort. Drs thought I was at that point at one time and I was willing to do whatever was necessary to have a child. But to do it just to keep your chaste state seems like you are placing chastity above the desire to have a child.

Also, how will you ask a Dr to jump straight to IUI?

[hot_toddy_dog]

Thanks, Belle and poor -- I don't want to put anything above our desire to have a child -- I know it can be a long and difficult process, but it's just rather frustrating to not simply be done with it already, and given my proclivity for chastity, all the more so. Every orgasm I have that doesn't result in a child is, well, kinda depressing

I will need to research a bit further about IUI, I didn't even know the proper term for that, hence the crudite, "turkey-baster style". But poor's point about freezing freaked me out a bit. Yeah, definitely will not be doing that. As far as love and physical desire, there is plenty of that all around, but there's a bit of anxiety as well around this whole process.

I think it's no issue to ask a Dr to jump straight to IUI if we have difficulties conceiving naturally - and that is the absolute limit of technology I am willing to resort to. I think we'll probably look into fertility testing just to make sure we're both viable and a good match first. If so, we'll try using cycle / ovulation timing (and proper timing, this time). If not, then I guess it's just not our lot. I'd rather consider adoption than $15k+ fertility regimens. Worst thing I can imagine is using all this high tech reproductive stuff to end up with a sub-par kid with physical or mental abnormalities.

[Atone]

Physical or mental abnormalities != sub-par