Male orgasm frequency

[jnuts]

Was not meant to be insulting. I didn't have much of a masturbation problem either but it seems common. When considering the frequency of orgasms before and after that should be taken into account. It wasn't mentioned in your post so that is why I asked.

[thumper]

I could say something controversial about masturbation, but I think I'll hold my tongue (since, you know, I can't hold anything else).

This isn't a scientific poll of anything. It's just a simple question. I assume the 3 who said more are women, but if not, I'd love to hear more. Also, with regard to "about the same", really? Not that there's anything wrong with that....but really?

[Jimi123]

I could say something controversial about masturbation, but I think I'll hold my tongue (since, you know, I can't hold anything else).

This isn't a scientific poll of anything. It's just a simple question. I assume the 3 who said more are women, but if not, I'd love to hear more. Also, with regard to "about the same", really? Not that there's anything wrong with that....but really?

Re Masturbation. Sorry I'm getting thin skinned about this. Way too many assumptions all around...

Which is why I don't think it should be assumed. The suggestion was made to me that went something like this. you might find you have more sex together if you start doing some form of male chastity. The suggestion was that once you start acting more caring and take care of more things she will feel more likely to want to make love (VERY TRUE) and combine this with you taking care of her (Massage, non sexual touch etc) will make it happen more often. Letting her made Yes, No, decisions on sex doesn't mean you can't "try" to seduce her and that can be appealing and help make it happen more often.

Maybe I'm looking at this in too simple a way or? I get that some men enjoy being denied. And I even get that some women take this power and really get off on using it.

[jnuts]

Maybe you should just do some experimentation, figure out what works for you, and then fill us in. I really don't think you are gleaning anything from the responses you are getting. That's fine and all but it is almost like we are going in circles.

[thumper]

The suggestion was made to me that went something like this. you might find you have more sex together if you start doing some form of male chastity. The suggestion was that once you start acting more caring and take care of more things she will feel more likely to want to make love (VERY TRUE) and combine this with you taking care of her (Massage, non sexual touch etc) will make it happen more often. Letting her made Yes, No, decisions on sex doesn't mean you can't "try" to seduce her and that can be appealing and help make it happen more often.

I think it's the universal experience of those on this forum who have made chastity part of thier relationship that it's led to more and better sex. But, it depends on how you define "sex". It seems to me that you have a fairly narrow definition that includes your orgasm. If that's what you want and expect, I'm not sure you'll find a lot of help here because, as this poll demonstrates, the guys around here don't come very much and are pretty happy about it.

Food for thought.

[Jimi123]

I think your correct. My view is limited by my experience or lack of.

If the choice is

No sex (Intimacy) versus lots of sexual intimacy of "some" kind it make perfect sense that it has an appeal. And I don't discount the very important piece that a happy wife = a happy husband.

[Jimi123]

Maybe you should just do some experimentation, figure out what works for you, and then fill us in. I really don't think you are gleaning anything from the responses you are getting. That's fine and all but it is almost like we are going in circles.

Yep. I think its kind of a one way street for those that have figured out how to live 24:7 locked comfortably and have things going right in the relationship. I think hearing my voice in the wilderness is more of an annoying buzz (Sorry) because you've got it going on ok. And why fix things that are not broken?

Anyway, I think I'm doing more talking out loud then anything else. I DO appreciate your comments because as I said this is all a very different way of doing things then we've done them.

[Atone]

Letting her made Yes, No, decisions on sex doesn't mean you can't "try" to seduce her and that can be appealing and help make it happen more often..

I think you need to get this idea of 'seducing' your wife out of your head. The way you present it (here and elsewhere) speaks to manipulation rather than truly trying to meet her needs. If you make an honest effort to meet her needs she will be more receptive to trying to meet your needs. You need to figure what her needs are, and it is likely not to involve sex at all. She might need help around the house, it might be understanding of her current emotional state, it might just be to have someone to listen (without trying to 'solve' anything).

Part of this is also going to be figuring out what your needs are and how she can meet them. At first glance it may be that your need is to have sex with your wife. If you dig deeper you may find that what you really want is intimacy with your wife combined with sexual release (orgasm). If your wife doesn't want to have sex she may still be able to be intimate and then assist with the sexual release in other ways. Either by supporting you while you masturbate or by doing that for you. I am not suggesting that this is the case, only that this kind of approach may help you get to the real problem you are trying to solve. Treating the symptoms will only give you temporary relief. You have to find the cause and work on that.

-A

[likes2blocked]

If the choice is
No sex (Intimacy) versus lots of sexual intimacy of "some" kind it make perfect sense that it has an appeal. And I don't discount the very important piece that a happy wife = a happy husband.

Those aren't really the only choices. There's the honeymoon scenario of lots of sex, orgasms for everyone and intimacy. Even given that possibility, in real life it doesn't last all that long. When chastity play enters the mix, then my experience is that two things happen - first, sex lasts a _lot_ longer, and is more fun for both of you. Second, when you do take a break, you quite often do get the honeymoon scenario, which is a real treat.

As we keep telling you, you're not going to understand it until you've experienced it. It's like trying to explain what real Pouding a Chocolat tastes like to someone that's only had Jello. I can try to explain the richness, how the density of the chocolate gets to be psychoactive, and the state of heaven to your taste buds, but it won't make sense to you unless you eat it. I'll take Pouding a Chocolate a few times a year over Jello twice a week.

[Celtic Queen]

Here's a different take. Hub and I have just been having a chat about this and I would say that there is a distinction between orgasm denial and orgasm control for some. My hub doesn't particularly enjoy denial but sees edging as a build up to longer, better orgasms. Those orgasms are always controlled by me and that's the part of chastity that he really enjoys. It's a kind of delayed gratification thing but he doesn't seem to get into the altered state phase and he certainly never finds orgasm disappointing or a let down so perhaps it isn't a universal thing. I do experiment with the timings and periods of denial and sometimes I can't actually detect any corrolation between his behaviour (good and attentive, bad and controlling) and orgasm (denied or given). Ofcourse there aren't any control groups or lab environments so I suppose it's just real life, cocking up my attempts to overanalyze ....