Sissies

Living the real life under lock and key
User avatar
Celtic Queen
Posts: 245
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 7:08 am
Location: Wales, UK

Sissies

Post by Celtic Queen »

Sissies

I have a theory I wanted to throw out there for collective chewing (mutual mastication, lol)...
Now, being a regular on the Mansion, I'd agree with the view that sissies are somewhat abundant there and whilst I have no problems with it as a kink / lifestyle, it isn't one hub and I share. That said, I do have loads of cleaning to do and if all I had to do was to beat my cleaner once a day in exchange for getting it done, I can't imagine I'd have a problem if it was some hairy arsed bloke dressed like a French maid. I do have a problem with the affectations that are practiced - like putting "giggles" or "curtsey" in posts but that's just me being a grumpy old bird. I can't stand gay men who mince and suddenly develop a lisp when they are in their own communities either but there you go. As a friend of mine once crudely but succinctly put it when discussing purveyors of porn, they're not using my hand to wank so why should I care?

So here's my first starter for ten. I think the over representation of sissies is due to the fact that there is an externally obvious facet to being a member of this particular community. It's very clear that dressing up is a core facet of the kink so an anonymous forum where people can discuss their experiences and choices in a non judgemental environment is going to be popular unless you are somewhere like a large city where there are clubs where like minded souls can gather for some mutual re enforcement and to escape judgement. Living an FLR or just indulging in chastity can function without any outward signs to friends and family and as such, can easily be carried out in the private unit that a marriage represents without alienation or isolation. Cuckolding necessarily involves people outside the marital unit – hence its disproportionate presence in the on line community. The more vanilla chastity community is somewhat quieter and less represented simply because most people just get on with it without the need for a support mechanism.

So, to my second and potentially more contentious theory. A common theme in chastity threads is the concept of not just handing control over but actually passing ownership of the penis to the wife. This is my hub's view also. I don't just hold a key to the cage he wears, he actually doesn’t see his penis as his own to touch at will anymore. He pees sitting down even when he isn’t locked up and the thought of masturbating without consent seems totally alien to him now. I've mentioned in other posts that there is almost a relief when men are no longer at the mercies of their own sexualities ie "chained to the lunatic" and this transferrance of control / drivers is at the heart of key holding. The pinnacle of the male driver is orgasm – that’s the reward that drives all that behaviour that makes men soooo unhappy and out of control. Now, push that out a little more until the separation between a man and his sexuality develops into a form of misandry - a hatred and resentment of that control. It then extends not just to the immediately obvious sexual organs but to everything male - the clothes, the beard growth, the flat male chest. The obsessive interest in silky knickers and other stereotypical symbols of the feminine makes sense when a man is trying to escape everything that shows that he is male. Push that out a tad further and you get a community that is discussing some pretty extreme stuff such as hormone control and enforced impotence.
Sissies then - are they just the far end of the chastity continuum? Now before the newbies start thinking that snapping on a Curve is the route to life lived in French knickers (Jimi), just because a component is on the continuum doesn’t mean that it’s the direction of travel and the destination is set anymore than my habit of enjoying a cheeky pinot grigot is the first step towards selling my body for gut rot whisky .....
0 x
"Only the man whose neck is bent may bear the oppressor's heel"
www.celticqueen.co.uk/blogs
cb6000s
Posts: 216
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2010 7:43 pm

Re: Sissies

Post by cb6000s »

Celtic Queen wrote: Sissies then - are they just the far end of the chastity continuum?
That would imply that all sissies practice chastity which is not the case. It is more like a Venn Diagram where there is some overlap but as there is even less real data about sissies than there is about chastity it would be impossible to tell how much they overlap.

Other lifestyles that overlap with chastity would include anything that you can imagine so I don't think we can really come to any conclusions about chastity and sissies, weight lifters, or even Starbuck's coffee drinkers.
0 x
User avatar
Dev
Posts: 1192
Joined: Sun Sep 26, 2010 6:10 am
Location: New England, USA
Contact:

Re: Sissies

Post by Dev »

Interesting post. Thanks for your thoughts.

For me, I don't think there is a continuum (as you mention at the end). I think there are folks who are into chastity for chastity itself, the experience and the process. My husband and I are in this group. Chastity is what we are interested in and exploring. If we get other benefits as a result of this exploration, great, but that's not why we got into this in the first place. We're not expecting other "things" (whatever those things might be) as an inevitable outcome of chastity.

For the sissy folks (and slaves, etc.) I think chastity is but one "tool" in their larger arsenal of things they use as part of the process/experience/game they are involved in. When I read some of these blogs and posts, being locked up doesn't seem to be tremendously important. It's just part of the whole package which might include silky, frilly outfits or whips, chains and cages depending on which game is being played---and some players include all of the above.

I am sure Mykey will chime in on this but I found this recent post on his blog interesting: http://outsidevanilla.blogspot.com/2010 ... stity.html

His wife is changing her view about chastity. After not really being into it, she is starting to like it more. Does that confound my theory? I don't think so. I just think it reinforces that there are those of us who enjoy chastity, as I said, for the experience itself. Sandy (Mykey's wife) seems to be becoming more aware of that and not seeing it only as a part of the game they are playing. Interesting...

D
0 x
The Key is on my Nipple Ring
a couple's explorations with a chaste life, from the wife's point of view
Dev's Gallery
my stash of good looking men
Keyheld: Chastity Resources for Lovers
User avatar
thumper
Site Admin
Posts: 599
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 6:06 pm
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Contact:

Re: Sissies

Post by thumper »

I agree with the venn diagram thing. I've often thought about making one of those.

WRT sissies, I also agree that they're sissies first and into chastity second. There's a large overlap (or, at least, there seems to be based on the view from the chastity seats), but you can be a sissy without being chastised. I also suspect that the segment of people who are "forced" to wear their wive's underwear are sometimes confused with sissies. Those also seem like two different things to me. Sissies are that way because they seem to really and truly want to be while the frilly underwear crowd are doing it for the thrill of the humiliation.

I'm rambling. It's early. Way too early...
0 x
Denying Thumper is my blog, Thumper's Portfolio is my porn stash.

Currently wearing: Steelworxx Steelheart
Is also allowed to wear: Mature Metal Jailbird, Steelworxx Looker 02
User avatar
Dev
Posts: 1192
Joined: Sun Sep 26, 2010 6:10 am
Location: New England, USA
Contact:

Re: Sissies

Post by Dev »

... but you can be a sissy without being chastised.
Actually, from the sound of some of the blogs and so on, they are being chastised quite a bit of the time, even if they aren't being chaste. ;)

D
0 x
The Key is on my Nipple Ring
a couple's explorations with a chaste life, from the wife's point of view
Dev's Gallery
my stash of good looking men
Keyheld: Chastity Resources for Lovers
User avatar
mikecb
Posts: 225
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2010 5:58 am
Contact:

Re: Sissies

Post by mikecb »

From reading the Mansion for several years now, I think a lot of sissies begin chastity as an extension of "tucking". Many like to obscure or nullify their genitalia. Chastity devices are a way of "taking it up a notch" in that regard. If anything, I would think that cross-dressing/sissification is a gateway to chastity play, not the other way around.

mikecb
0 x
I want Chastity, not Celibacy

http://mikecbwearer.blogspot.com/
User avatar
thumper
Site Admin
Posts: 599
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 6:06 pm
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Contact:

Re: Sissies

Post by thumper »

I agree with that.
0 x
Denying Thumper is my blog, Thumper's Portfolio is my porn stash.

Currently wearing: Steelworxx Steelheart
Is also allowed to wear: Mature Metal Jailbird, Steelworxx Looker 02
Jimi123
Posts: 136
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:16 am

Re: Sissies

Post by Jimi123 »

I still hold with my theory that at least some "sissies" are simply transexual folk who are not comfortable enough to go forward with doctors, therapists, hormone therapy, surgery etc. They may feel a lot of guilt over this thinking that their G.I.D. is bad in some way. So, when there is this middle ground of being able to be "fem" without doctors, hormones etc? The rejection of their "cock" (Locking it up and not using it for vanilla sex) is a plus and chastity is just a means to the end. Orgasm "denial" is a plus because its "male" orgasm denial.

We ended up becoming interested in this as a different means to an end. We had our Marriage put under a bright light and decided it wasn't nearly as good at it ought to be. Having read how this lifestyle seems to create the "ideal" husband?

Well we are only just toe in the water but neither of us is too weird-ed out by a device or the concept in the more vanilla version of it. FLR - Femdom is maybe another spectrum type of thing. On one end are the whips and chains. On the other you have the women taking care of the bills and operating the TV clicker.
0 x
User avatar
thumper
Site Admin
Posts: 599
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 6:06 pm
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Contact:

Re: Sissies

Post by thumper »

Jimi123 wrote:I still hold with my theory that at least some "sissies" are simply transexual folk who are not comfortable enough to go forward with doctors, therapists, hormone therapy, surgery etc.
Maybe, but I think there's a lot of subtlety and variation when it comes to this kind of thing. It's possible some of them want to be female, but most don't come off that way to me. They like to be feminized, but still seem to be attracted to women.

Who the hell knows. Humans are complicated things (especially the part between their ears).
0 x
Denying Thumper is my blog, Thumper's Portfolio is my porn stash.

Currently wearing: Steelworxx Steelheart
Is also allowed to wear: Mature Metal Jailbird, Steelworxx Looker 02
Jimi123
Posts: 136
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:16 am

Re: Sissies

Post by Jimi123 »

I think thats true. Some folks just want to crossdress for example and the idea of actual surgery or going out in public don't fly for them. I just think that some of the aspects of chastity appeal to "some" people who have some amount of G.I.D. (And NO thats not GLAD I'M DIFFERENT)
0 x
Post Reply