Dev wrote:
I think your problem is that you keep equating a life of not having regular orgasms (or not having any at all) as bad, or less, or not as good as life that includes regular orgasms. I think many people have tried to tell you that it doesn't work that way. As I recall, someone said that sex with orgasms is good but sex without them is better. As Celtic Queen said in another post, it's counter-intuitive but the men here say that it's true. Maybe husband says the same thing to me (although he doesn't post here).
Speaking only for myself, I don't know if I would say that the sex sans orgasm is
better . For us, however, what's better is the overall relationship, but I want to stress that it's not because my lack of orgasms makes me do more washing up; it's because the acts of indulging each others' sexual fantasies leads us to increased intimacy, which makes us both happier. And when we're happy, then it does seem like the sex is better.
But sex
with orgasms is pretty freaking good, too.
Instead, it is better to say, I am going to change my approach to food: smaller portions, cutting way down on fats, eating more fruits and vegetables, cutting back on meat-based protein. If you do these things you'll lose weight and because your eating habits have fundamentally changed, once you reach your goal weight, you'll just keep eating healthy.
Slightly off topic, but the new thinking is that
more fats are better (except for the fried type, trans fats, etc.), cut back on high-GI fruits (bananas, grapes, raisins, etc.), eat lots of vegetables, and have as much chicken and fish as you want, but a steak once in a while is a good thing, too. And avoid processed meats, processed grains, and pretty much any food that comes in a box.
So, chastity can be similar. You are not going on a diet, you are changing your approach to sex. Instead of saying, "Once I learn how to take care of my wife, I can go back to having orgasms," you say, "Our sex life is better--more active, hotter, more loving--because of this change and we will continue to approach sex from this perspective. Our shared mutual pleasure is the goal." For many men, having an orgasm is no longer part of the shared mutual pleasure equation. Believe it not, the man doesn't feel like he has lost something he needs to go back to. He's happier with this new, better sex life. My husband would say this is true.
Me too!
