Honor system vs. wearing a device

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Dev
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Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by Dev » Sun Sep 26, 2010 8:00 am

I received an interesting email from a guy who is trying to decide whether or not to buy a device. He says his wife is busy denying him and they are "doing" chastity via the honor system. He was wondering if he really needed a device? He also said his wife might be of the mind that a device is too kinky.

Personally, I don't know if a mental honor system (no device) is really feasible, especially long-term--but I don't have a penis and I don't ejaculate, so I don't really know. So, I'll throw this question out to the guys.

From where I sit, I think the concept of a device is hot. Even though the CB (what Ab is wearing right now) isn't the sexiest thing on the planet, what it is doing really turns me on. I also like the little "clack clack" of the lock against the plastic which I hear on occasion.

Thoughts?

D
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by thumper » Sun Sep 26, 2010 8:06 am

That's funny. I was going to start a thread just like this one...

Personally, I couldn't do it without a device. After two, three or more months, I'd lose control. In fact, I'd probably just sit around edging myself all the time. Enforced chastity is more than just orgasm control. It's also about losing access to that one thing that makes you a man (but not in a bad way). There's an entirely different emotional layer on top of the lack of orgasm that comes from that.

It's the difference between "I could come if I wanted to, but I won't" and "Oh god! I can't come!" At least for me. I don't know, maybe I'm not making sense. It's early yet and I haven't had any caffeine...
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Dev
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by Dev » Sun Sep 26, 2010 8:51 am

Thinking on this, I was always of the mind that every sexual encounter had to end with Ab having an orgasm, even if I didn't. So I am not sure I could do the honor system. Having him wearing a device has taken that issue out of my hands. He can't have an orgasm. Period. Even if I want him to. He'll have one when we reach the date that we've agreed upon and not before.

D
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by Atone » Sun Sep 26, 2010 9:31 am

This would be a totally different dynamic without the device. I am pretty sure I couldn't go as long as thumper seems to think he could. I couldn't keep my hands off of myself. Right now that is one of the hotter aspects of chastity. I look forward to the sensation of being touched (even washing in the shower) almost more than to having an orgasm. Plus having the device on is a reminder to both of us of *her* involvement in this. I think it would be a lot easier to lapse in to other habits.

-A
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by Tutor » Sun Sep 26, 2010 11:26 am

I think the device (whichever one) is a big deterrent factor... and while you'll all say "of course it is, your in a device..." I mean to say, its a tactile reminder not to play with/or by myself.
You all know the saying that men are just big kids, well kids will play with their toys unless told not too or their put away. Some of us just need more encouragement than being told not to... or maybe were (I'm) just spoiled.
As an aside...
I'm packing to go out of town for a week (won't be back until this coming Saturday), we talked last night and decided that I wouldn't be wearing the device for that length of time without taking it off for cleaning, so I might as not wear it at all. We'd use the honor system... I know me, I just tossed it in the bag to take with me anyway, even if I have the key.
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by Chastehusband » Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:08 pm

I think for a lot of men who end up being locked, they often arrive at chastity as a means to curb masturbation, which implies a lack of self control, so in that sense a device is necessary, of course they have to want to change that aspect also as any of us could probably get our devices off if we really wanted to. Also couple that with having your wife as a keyholder, while women may not be as physically as strong as most men, more often than not they are mentally stronger, and have better self control.
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by likes2blocked » Sun Sep 26, 2010 2:36 pm

Dev wrote:Thinking on this, I was always of the mind that every sexual encounter had to end with Ab having an orgasm, even if I didn't. So I am not sure I could do the honor system. Having him wearing a device has taken that issue out of my hands. He can't have an orgasm. Period. Even if I want him to. He'll have one when we reach the date that we've agreed upon and not before.
It wouldn't work for me. I'd start, or she'd start playing, and then there would be an oops, and then we'd have to start over.

We had an incident like you describe the other night - started playing, she got really wound up, and if I were free, I'd be in her. It has been really interesting - not sure why we didn't get to this point on previous times we've played, but not having intercourse available has meant we play for a _lot_ longer, and have been discovering amazing new things :D

The other aspect you wouldn't get without a device would be that constant reminder of who's got control of what. I really like that aspect of it.
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by dutchbound1 » Sun Sep 26, 2010 3:42 pm

The honor system, or 'mental chastity' as I call it is so much more difficult than physical chastity for me. My husband controls when I can have an orgasm. When my dick is locked up, I find myself being able to relax and not have to worry about my dick. If my dick is hanging about, the temptation is so hard.

The problem for me is logistics. I have to travel a lot for work (travel for work means lots of porn in my hotel room), I ride a motorcycle, and I try to go to the gym as much as I can. All of these activities are very hard to do when permanently locked in a steel device. So while I wish I could have thumper's experience of not even seeing or feeling my dick for months, we haven't figured out how to go that logistically.
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by poohbearschastity » Sun Sep 26, 2010 6:05 pm

Hello all. I started 4yrs ago getting an exobelt. The thought of total denial drove me crazy. I got it tried it and for me could not get it to fit right for long term wear. So then I got a 6000 and after some adjusting found it very wearable. I ended up in the largest ring w homemade waistband and no spacer. Made pullout difficult. I wore it in secret from my gf. I had lightly brought it up to her before. Just before finding sarahs site I tried introducing it. Received ok but not great. After reading her site understood mistake after mistake. Lol. I then showed her site n tried to undo damage from before, she didn't want her toy hurt.
We tried it for one week n ok. Then set out on two week journey. Everything went so much better w open communication reasuring her toy was ok. Two weeks came and we couldn't b intimate. Gulp. I had never gone this long. I made it two more days and started to feel like a sore was starting. I had to ask for the combo to the key lock.
Release was in the morn that night she started teasing me by text message. Telling me what to do with her toy. Oh man. She allowed me a full release. Wow. Like never before.
After that I was ready to go back into lockdown other than the mild skin abrasion. Damn.
This is when she showed me a new way to control her toy.
Mental Chastity her rules No Touching her Toy. Simple right? Not. Only to wash and pee no stimulation had to use toilet paper n luffa no direct contact. This was started on Sunday night I woulnt see her until friday. I was required to keep track of and text her when her toy got excited. No bs 59 times later she finally got to her toy. OMG. She worked him into a frenzy over n over. Deliriously evil. I thought the release after being locked was incredible, nothing in comparison for me. I am currently under the same rules til friday again. Already up to 30 in 44hrs. For us I know we will use both but the freedom route is so much more erotic and fullfilling for me. IMHO I love my Evil Bunny
First time poster hope it reads well. Pm me if I did something wrong please. Don't wanna offend. Thanks.
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Re: Honor system vs. wearing a device

Post by Dev » Sun Sep 26, 2010 6:13 pm

Thanks for your post, poohbear...

Not entirely following your journey. It sounds like you and your gf are geographically distant so you aren't together everyday? Are you wearing any device now or just maintaining your chastity mentally?

Thanks for the clarification.

D
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The Key is on my Nipple Ring
a couple's explorations with a chaste life, from the wife's point of view
Dev's Gallery
my stash of good looking men
Keyheld: Chastity Resources for Lovers

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