New Year's Resolution?

[poor]

To those of you out there that still feel awkward about this kink and haven't found a way of bringing it up with your partner, this time of year offers a golden opportunity. Your reply to the inevitable "What's your New Year's resolution?" could be:

"I'm giving up masturbation. What's yours?"

There. You said it.

[Chuck]

I'm giving you control of our sex life.

There's a good one.

[Belle]

Seems a little flippant to me.

[poor]

I can see that. I'll edit it to sound more how I meant it (which is a super-normal conversation starter).

[Edgewood]

To those of you who are looking for a way to bring this up with your partner know this:

1) After you have broken the ice you will be able to talk about so many things related to sex that you never thought you would be able to discuss (don't do it all at once though).

2) You will then be able to talk in specific detail about your desires.

3) Have a plan in place with blogs, a few articles, and maybe a book or two, so your desire to be kept in chastity can be explained by a neutral party in a (sometimes) clinical way.

4) Then be patient. Really, really patient.

[poor]

If you wish to use some of the very good advice that appears routinely on these forums it may well be worth turning off the avatars before you do. The opinion has been expressed that it could be off-putting to read a good point adjacent to a picture of the penis of the man who posted it.

[poor]

Actually that was my last resolution - this year I need to drop 20 pounds so I look as good as the Steelheart that I've been endowed with and there are obviously other areas to address judging by the unexpected arrival of an oak paddle in the post this morning!!

[Atone]

I'm thinking about making a New Year's Request but I am keeping in mind BCWYWF. I know that if I ask for it and my wife accepts it she will enforce it. There is a chance she wouldn't entertain the idea but if she does then I would be in for the long haul.

[TwistedMister]

I'm thinking about making a New Year's Request but I am keeping in mind BCWYWF. I know that if I ask for it and my wife accepts it she will enforce it. There is a chance she wouldn't entertain the idea but if she does then I would be in for the long haul.

Don't keep us all in suspense...what is it?

[Atone]

Don't keep us all in suspense...what is it?

Sorry, didn't mean to leave that out. I am seriously considering asking for an orgasm free 2012. I think that removing the pressure from both of us could / would help us work on other areas of our relationship. On the other hand it might also work against us. It is a real challenge negotiating the transfer of control. At the base of it this is my way of exerting control and getting my need met. In effect I don't trust my wife to meet my need. I would rather work out the control issues. I also would like to have my need met. I have learned to submit to my wife in many ways over the last year but this is one area that I really struggle with. The idea of her giving in "in the moment" scares me (and her a little bit) so we have been content with avoiding it to some degree. At the same time we have been discussing it and at least getting some of the issues out in the open. Experiences from our past (some of it quite distant and not necessarily involving each other) play in to it and make it hard to trust. This goes both ways.

Sorry that rambled, this can all be very confusing. Chastity is just one part of many changes that we have made over the last 5 years.