The gateway kink thread

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The gateway kink thread

Post by mykey » Wed Oct 27, 2010 5:13 pm

For sandy, my wife, chastity is absolutely not a gateway kink. Of all the things we have done, and readers of my blog will know that's a fair amount, she still considers it almost the most extreme thing we do. She only recently started to get over how it looks, and how extreme it feels to lock your man up for any length of time. This is over ten years after being introduced to it.

Tease and denial is a different matter, that and tickling were her gateway kinks.

So throwing it open, does anyone else here feel that chastity is quite a big deal and did not find it an easy gateway. If so what were your gateway kinks?

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Re: The gateway kink thread

Post by cb6000s » Wed Oct 27, 2010 5:54 pm

I struggled with this topic because gateway kink implies that there was a time that you were not kinky and then something happened. Which may be true for a lot of people.
I remember my first kinky thoughts which involved my babysitter and I was 5 years old at the time. I did not know they were kinky then but the fact that I still remember that night 50+ years later tells me that some of us are just born kinky.
So for me, chastity is just another kink to add to my growing list.
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Re: The gateway kink thread

Post by Atone » Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:52 pm

mykey wrote:, she still considers it almost the most extreme thing we do.
My wife and I do some fairly kinky things from time to time but not usually anything *way* out there. Chastity with a device was almost a non event for my wife. We were laying in bed one night and had planned on having sex. My wife was tired and turned to me and said "I think I am going to make you wait until tomorrow". I responded "I was thinking about getting a male chastity device for when this happens". She said "OK" and went to sleep. The next day we went to our (relatively) local sex shop and bought my CB-3000 (for WAY too much money although it was worth it). My next Orgasm was 43 days later. She still has a very casual attitude towards it. I think she has just accepted as part of our life.

So, is it a gateway kink? I hope so :D :D :D

When we were on vacation she went and found all the sex shops in that town and spent a lot of money at all of them. This wasn't totally new to her but this was definitely more than usual. I think it has increased her sexuality in many ways. And we got a lot of fun toys to play with. She even bought a nice paddle, I didn't think I would ever see her do that.

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Re: The gateway kink thread

Post by Dev » Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:52 pm

Great thread. Thanks, Mykey.

People who read my blog know that I spent a long time being vanilla because I didn't know otherwise. No Internet in those days and when I tried to check out The Joy of Sex from the library, the librarian said no because I wasn't 18. In my blog post for tomorrow I actually muse on the fact that I had the opportunity for a 3-way when I was 16-17 years old, if I knew such a thing existed. Alas, I did not.

My husband and I got married after knowing each other 11 months. We had great sex on our first date which gave me a hint of where things were going in this relationship. :) Three weeks after we were married, he was fucking me with a wine bottle (no toys in those days). Two weeks after that, he shaved my pussy bare. While I was insanely hot when he was doing these things, I'd wake up the next morning consumed with guilt that I was a "bad" girl. I think he felt a little bit the same way. We had no context for understanding or knowing what other people did, plus we were young (23 and 25 respectively).

Over the years, we waxed and waned. Children can definitely be a hindrance sexually both in terms of time and attention. But once they got to a certain age, we became adventurous again. Getting into nudism/naturism was really a great thing because it just got us having fun with our bodies again. It was around this time that we also discovered vibrators and toys, which was great.

I think one of the things we were searching for was something that we could do 24/7 that would be sexy, kinky, and not too obvious. We both tried wearing butt plugs but usually wouldn't last more than 6 or 7 hours before we'd had enough. Getting our nipples pierced was probably a better step but really, once they are healed, that's it, it's not so hot anymore.

Enter chastity. So far for us, it's great. It's got the 24/7 requirement, it keeps the interest level high and by wearing the key on my nipple ring, it has a certain hot factor for both of us. The blog helps, too--Ab gets a little turned on by the voyeur quality (but I have to be careful to keep it at a manageable level). For me, as each day goes by, I get more turned on. I keep thinking of new things I can do, days to extend his lock-up, etc. Ab seems more complacent. Sometimes I think I'd like a little more begging and pleading and then I think, no...I have a husband who is going along completely with this game at my instigation. Don't rock the boat. He's been fine every time I've ratcheted it up a notch---right now he has been locked since Sunday and hasn't even asked once to be let out to readjust/clean nor has he asked when he'll get out to orgasm. How long will this attitude last? I have no clue. That's part of the fun mystery of the game.

So, I guess for us, it wasn't really a gateway kink, it was just the next step. But, for those who have never tried anything, I can see how chastity might be a non-threatening way to least I think I can.

Or maybe I am just too kinky to be objective. LOL.

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Re: The gateway kink thread

Post by likes2blocked » Thu Oct 28, 2010 12:37 am

There was no gateway for me. I think I just started off kinky. Teasing fantasies were among my very first fantasies, going back to before I started ejaculating. I've always had a really strong sex drive, and that's led me to explore some different stuff over the years.

During this most recent bout of chastity play, which has gone on for a lot longer than before, and may well continue indefinitely, we have started exploring some things we hadn't done before, but I think that's partially coincidence, and partially that the chastity play has super-charged our sex life.

So maybe it can be a gateway - if you crank things up a notch, then BAM! everything gets really spicy, and maybe you're willing to try other things you had previously thought were over the top.
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Re: The gateway kink thread

Post by Jimi123 » Thu Oct 28, 2010 10:18 am

For us it was when my wife suggested (out of the blue) that she would like a vibrator. My reaction was "whaaaat?" followed by WOW and thinking that was pretty hot. Ordering one got us on some mail order list and anything you bought came with a free video so... We ordered and watched some "educational" videos (No! Really!) and during a lot of it I was thinking how little I knew and lucky I was to be married to this lady.

Doing non vanilla stuff and feeling guilt... Whooo. I so relate to that!
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Re: The gateway kink thread

Post by mykey » Thu Oct 28, 2010 3:53 pm

Sandy always loved to tease and got denial very quickly. But she struggled with chastity as the device looked extreme to her. Sometimes she was ok with it during play, but if she saw it on me later when she wasn't horny it would put her off. It's only recently that changed. Her dominance started to come out when she discovered ticking. Pinning me down and tickling, which she had hated being done to her as a kid, well she discovered how much sadistic fun it can be. That was the start, though our gestation to a ds relationship took many more years.

Like likes2blocked I was always kinky!
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