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Living the real life under lock and key
steph17
Posts: 95
Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:22 am

New to the site

Post by steph17 » Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:39 am

Hello, Just found this site by accident had a browse about and it is good to find some normal????? people into the kink. My self and my KH/Wife are very interested in the male chastity scene but when we read some posts from the sissies and cross dressers and cuckold it puts us off a bit as we are not into any of that. We want to improve our life together and see chastity as a helpful means.
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Dev
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Location: New England, USA
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Re: New to the site

Post by Dev » Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:43 am

Hi Steph, welcome...glad to have you here.

As I wrote in my blog today, I think most of the folks at this site fall under the rubric of "chastity enthusiasts." In other words, chastity is what interests us, not the other stuff. Poke around, ask questions. We're a fun and friendly bunch.

Dev
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The Key is on my Nipple Ring
a couple's explorations with a chaste life, from the wife's point of view
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Tom Allen
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Re: New to the site

Post by Tom Allen » Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:05 am

If you (or Thumper) build it, they will come.

Hi Steph. Yes, we tend to be a rather boring and vanilla group with r4egard to chastity and orgasm denial. Dull, boring, vanilla. Yup, yup, yup.
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jnuts
Posts: 334
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Re: New to the site

Post by jnuts » Thu Oct 28, 2010 9:47 am

Welcome! My wife and I are new here as well. Very nice group. A bit of a haven in an internet full of more extreme and fictitious views of chastity.
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A vanilla couple finding their way in the male chastity lifestyle:
http://nuts4belle.wordpress.com
That same couple reviewing the hell out of sex toys:
http://nuts4toys.net

Jimi123
Posts: 136
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:16 am

Re: New to the site

Post by Jimi123 » Thu Oct 28, 2010 10:10 am

jnuts wrote:Welcome! My wife and I are new here as well. Very nice group. A bit of a haven in an internet full of more extreme and fictitious views of chastity.
I was interested in your blog. I see a lot of "us" in your blog. Very similar to why, where etc. It's totally non of my biz but if your wife says the magic words and she enjoys it why not ahh... have an orgasm yourself? Is not the issue that your drive is stronger then hers? And as long as she is in the the "yes" mode why *continue to put up the stop light up for you?

If your wife is ok with it can you ask her what the appeal of the "device" is? Mine also thinks this is hot but I'm not sure what about it is? The control? The "look" the ? Just curious.

Oh... Have you talked to the therapist about this? Did he/she have a clue what you were talking about? I would really love to know what a couples therapist thought of using MC thinks....

*Or are you part of the duration marathon crew?
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Belle
Posts: 507
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2010 11:29 am

Re: New to the site

Post by Belle » Thu Oct 28, 2010 10:39 am

Jimi123 wrote:It's totally non of my biz but if your wife says the magic words and she enjoys it why not ahh... have an orgasm yourself? Is not the issue that your drive is stronger then hers? And as long as she is in the the "yes" mode why *continue to put up the stop light up for you?

If your wife is ok with it can you ask her what the appeal of the "device" is? Mine also thinks this is hot but I'm not sure what about it is? The control? The "look" the ? Just curious.

Oh... Have you talked to the therapist about this? Did he/she have a clue what you were talking about? I would really love to know what a couples therapist thought of using MC thinks....

*Or are you part of the duration marathon crew?
I am Jnuts wife, so I will field your questions....
1. Because if I know that he is in chastity and CAN NOT have an orgasm, then I don't feel the pressure to just go along with it even if I wasn't totally in the mood just to make him happy. He likes (loves) the feeling of the somewhat constant high that he rides while being denied, and I like the fact that he is more attentive and helpful with everything. The denial kinda puts him on "alert". Works well for us.

2. I like jewelry, so of course I would like my favorite toy to be accessorized. Honestly though, I don't know what the appeal is for me. I just like it. I don't like the plastic ones, just the steel ones.

3. We did not go to marriage counseling after all. We tried this, and found that it helped a lot and there was no need. I can speak from that side as well though, as I was a therapist before I chose to stay home with our children. As long as both parties are going into it with the same intentions and expectations, then there is no harm in trying. One party may be more into than another, that is to be expected with anything, but as long as it is done in a healthy, respectful and adult manner then there is no harm in trying it. Might not work for all, but remember it is a game and can be stopped at any time.
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~Belle
Jnuts wife & keyholder
http://nuts4belle.wordpress.com/

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jnuts
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Re: New to the site

Post by jnuts » Thu Oct 28, 2010 10:56 am

To add to what Belle has said, we have seen so many benefits so far, it wouldn't make sense to stop.

Sex wasn't something we typically conversed about. We did it, we enjoyed it for the most part, but when there was a problem it festered. MC, when done right, isn't something you can just sail through without communication. Ordering a pricey piece of metal to wrap around my dick seems to have been an ice breaker. :) Sex is not something that would have come up in conversation on my way home from work prior to starting this. It certainly wouldn't have been something Belle would have been talking about in a forum full of strangers.

One thing that chastity has done for me is remove years worth of self consiousness for being a bit below average in the size department. This was something that has bothered me since high school. Nothing my wife could say would help me feel anything but less than adequate. Having to look at more pictures of penises then I would care to admit, measuring myself multiple times a day, and seeing others post measurments here and elsewhere has totally relieved me from my shame. Hell, I'm kinda glad. Less metal to conceal when the jailbird gets here. My wife is happy so who cares?
0 x
A vanilla couple finding their way in the male chastity lifestyle:
http://nuts4belle.wordpress.com
That same couple reviewing the hell out of sex toys:
http://nuts4toys.net

Jimi123
Posts: 136
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:16 am

Re: New to the site

Post by Jimi123 » Thu Oct 28, 2010 11:40 am

Belle wrote:
Jimi123 wrote:It's totally non of my biz but if your wife says the magic words and she enjoys it why not ahh... have an orgasm yourself? Is not the issue that your drive is stronger then hers? And as long as she is in the the "yes" mode why *continue to put up the stop light up for you?

If your wife is ok with it can you ask her what the appeal of the "device" is? Mine also thinks this is hot but I'm not sure what about it is? The control? The "look" the ? Just curious.

Oh... Have you talked to the therapist about this? Did he/she have a clue what you were talking about? I would really love to know what a couples therapist thought of using MC thinks....

*Or are you part of the duration marathon crew?
I am Jnuts wife, so I will field your questions....
1. Because if I know that he is in chastity and CAN NOT have an orgasm, then I don't feel the pressure to just go along with it even if I wasn't totally in the mood just to make him happy. He likes (loves) the feeling of the somewhat constant high that he rides while being denied, and I like the fact that he is more attentive and helpful with everything. The denial kinda puts him on "alert". Works well for us.

2. I like jewelry, so of course I would like my favorite toy to be accessorized. Honestly though, I don't know what the appeal is for me. I just like it. I don't like the plastic ones, just the steel ones.

3. We did not go to marriage counseling after all. We tried this, and found that it helped a lot and there was no need. I can speak from that side as well though, as I was a therapist before I chose to stay home with our children. As long as both parties are going into it with the same intentions and expectations, then there is no harm in trying. One party may be more into than another, that is to be expected with anything, but as long as it is done in a healthy, respectful and adult manner then there is no harm in trying it. Might not work for all, but remember it is a game and can be stopped at any time.
We are very new to this idea so these are probably sounding dumb (the questions) I totally get what your saying about sex being now on your terms. You don't feel the need to provide a service type of thing (Correct?) thus its now become much better for you. I'm interested in that because I think many of us who are married end up turning sex into sort of a ritual "to get him off my back" rather then a joyful experience.

Unfortunately I also get the part that this creates a better "husband" in that he becomes more aware of your needs (In and out of the bedroom) We started down this road because of that and I'm pleased very much with the pluses that having some plan has given us.

I still get stuck on the long term permi denial aspect. I understand that this / tantric type stuff might well be very exciting and cool for some folks. I even get that after long enough many men who might not be into it will either become accepting or change their minds etc but.... The question I guess I really want to ask is why not seek some kind of reconditioning or "training" and a detailed exploration of your needs followed by a more shared couples sex life?

I don't accept that male orgasm creates "bad" husband / behavior.
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Jimi123
Posts: 136
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:16 am

Re: New to the site

Post by Jimi123 » Thu Oct 28, 2010 11:44 am

jnuts wrote:To add to what Belle has said, we have seen so many benefits so far, it wouldn't make sense to stop.

Sex wasn't something we typically conversed about. We did it, we enjoyed it for the most part, but when there was a problem it festered. MC, when done right, isn't something you can just sail through without communication. Ordering a pricey piece of metal to wrap around my dick seems to have been an ice breaker. :) Sex is not something that would have come up in conversation on my way home from work prior to starting this. It certainly wouldn't have been something Belle would have been talking about in a forum full of strangers.

One thing that chastity has done for me is remove years worth of self consiousness for being a bit below average in the size department. This was something that has bothered me since high school. Nothing my wife could say would help me feel anything but less than adequate. Having to look at more pictures of penises then I would care to admit, measuring myself multiple times a day, and seeing others post measurments here and elsewhere has totally relieved me from my shame. Hell, I'm kinda glad. Less metal to conceal when the jailbird gets here. My wife is happy so who cares?
Whew! Thats a HARD (Sorry pun intended) core way to break the ice. Maybe its worth commenting that what is "average" penis wise is maybe not as huge as you think. As to breaking the ice and talking about sex. One vanilla idea that may be of value either in or out of this lifestyle. Couples Sex Ed DVDs. Better sex etc. I hate to admit how clueless I was when I first saw this and how much it helped open our eyes to various things.

Durex? The condom makers had an average penis size info page. I was quite astonished to see how small things are in that department. I think the folks who make dildos are all thinking "horse" not human...
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Belle
Posts: 507
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2010 11:29 am

Re: New to the site

Post by Belle » Thu Oct 28, 2010 1:30 pm

Jimi123 wrote: The question I guess I really want to ask is why not seek some kind of reconditioning or "training" and a detailed exploration of your needs followed by a more shared couples sex life?

I don't accept that male orgasm creates "bad" husband / behavior.

I deny him because HE has ASKED/BEGGED me to, not because I feel the need to punish him for bad behavior. I am his wife, not his mother or his boss. I do not have the right to punish him for anything that he does-he is an adult and makes and lives with his own choices.

To be honest with you, I think you are overthinking things. I know I do it all the time, and I have been doing it with MC as well. What has been told to me many times by different people holds very true....It is a Game. We have a shared sex life. He choices to not want to cum until I let him. He wants me to hold more control in our sex life, something that he has wanted for many years and I have had a hard time doing until we started exploring MC. Yet it is a game, and if need be or if either of us decide we want to stop-the game ends. There is no need for reconditioning/retraining. We are just having fun and reaping other benefits along the way.
0 x
~Belle
Jnuts wife & keyholder
http://nuts4belle.wordpress.com/

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