"Hello world" thread

Living the real life under lock and key
Tullyboy
Posts: 199
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:30 am

Re: "Hello world" thread

Post by Tullyboy » Wed Jul 11, 2018 4:31 pm

@Gargoyle Your wife just needs to sign up and request keyholder status here: viewtopic.php?f=11&t=17948&start=50
0 x

Gargoyle
Posts: 28
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:14 am
Gender:

Re: "Hello world" thread

Post by Gargoyle » Wed Jul 11, 2018 5:46 pm

Tullyboy wrote:
Wed Jul 11, 2018 4:29 pm
Welcome, Gargoyle! I've had problems with the ring catching hair, which usually is referred to the balls. Perhaps one thing to check. I'm used to it now, but it used to be the thing that would wake me up the most.

There is a "keyholder" forum where your wife can browse other keyholder posts. She might enjoy that only keyholders (mostly women) are allowed.
Thanks for the welcome Tullyboy. It’s not the hair or lack there of. I think I solved the problem. On another post someone mentioned if you feel a “burning” sensation pull your testicles through even more although it sounds counter intuitive. Hope that was it. Thanks for the link too for kh
0 x

MJ Chaste
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 6:53 pm

Re: "Hello world" thread

Post by MJ Chaste » Wed Jul 11, 2018 7:03 pm

Hello forum!

Long time lurker, first time signing up.

A little about me:

I first heard about this whole male chastity thing five or so years ago. It terrified me, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. Within a year I'd bought a device. I fumbled around with it at first, but it never really did a whole lot for me. I knew in my heart I was always meant to be locked up by a partner, and I was single at the time.

Some time after that I met the person I thought at the time was the love of my life. She had previous BDSM experience but had never experimented with chastity before. I was shy and had little dating experience. We fell for each other hard. Within three months she was officially my keyholder, and it was seemingly the happiest time of my life.

She left me after about two and a half years. At that time I put my chastity device away; it was too painful even to look at. After the wounds had healed a little I tried vanilla dating, but in my heart I know what I want and where I belong. Which brings me to today: after seventeen months in storage without even looking at it, two days ago I sought out my chastity device and locked it on. I am officially locked up again!!!

Now I know that being chaste as a single individual is only a shadow of what I truly want, which is to be locked up by a loving partner. But I've been in this cage for two days and I feel so good! I can't believe I ever went so long uncaged. I hope to never go so long uncaged again.

When the time is right I will give my key, and my heart, to the right person. But for now I just want to explore chastity and learn more about it and myself.

Sorry if that was too long. Hello forum! Happy to be here!
1 x

plicker
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 5:50 pm
Gender:

Re: "Hello world" thread

Post by plicker » Wed Jul 11, 2018 7:05 pm

Hello All,

I have been happily married to a wonderful wife for 20+ years And have had a bit of a submissive side to which she has never quite embraced - I guess she is just too much iof a romantic or too many years of catholic school. Regardless, I secretly purchased my first device about 3 years ago and was in a complete euphoria the first time I put on the knock off cb6k and clicked the lock shut. I have kept my secret to myself until she found my hidden device one day and questioned me on it. As nervous as I was, she was understanding, but it was clear she was not into it at all. She has eventually tolerated it with me, but stil won’t initiate my lock up. I guess we are still a bit of a work in progress.

I so enjoy the psychological side of chastity which I think compliments my fascination with tease and denial. I hope to share and learn from others here, as I continue to try and warm my wife to the idea of taking charge and locking me up.


plicker
1 x

User avatar
slave d
Posts: 695
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 9:33 pm

Re: "Hello world" thread

Post by slave d » Wed Jul 11, 2018 10:07 pm

Hi gargoyle there’s lots in here about wives involvement. The thing is that if you push too hard it will simply prove this is for you and not her. Make it all about her, ask for nothing except more ways to please her and show her how much better things will be if she takes charge over time. You have to prove it to her, it’s your kink not hers ... so far. We’ve been into this now for 5 years and the difference over time is huge, i get a daily paddling just to remind me who’s in charge, and haven’t had a full orgasm in over 500 days now !!! So don’t push, you might just get more than you want just yet !!!

MsM’s ld
0 x
New Zealand
24/7/365 DHGate s/s

User avatar
Kitten
Posts: 336
Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2018 11:03 am
Location: Texas Hill Country
Gender:

Re: "Hello world" thread

Post by Kitten » Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:36 am

Gargoyle wrote:
Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:26 am
Is there an area here that provides advice on how to get my wife more involved? She’s pretty good but doesn’t embrace the Whole treated like a queen thing. I’m the one pushing for this and don’t want to push her away from it with my enthusiasm. Any advice is Appreciated.
Welcome Gargoyle.

We are still new to this lifestyle ourselves.

My husband first approached male chastity with me by leaving the following book on my pillow, in a pink envelope with a letter he wrote to me on the front of the envelope several days before I joined. In a nutshell, he was asking me to read the book with an open mind. The book is "Male Chastity - A Guide for Keyholders" by Lucy Fairbourne. There is a lot of good information in this book; including sections on what male chastity is all about, measuring for & choosing devices, health/hygiene & safety, and erotic chastity play... to name just a few.

Until that day I didn't even know male chastity existed. At first I was adamently against it. But, by the time I finished the book I had warmed up to the concept of his chastity and am now his keyholder. I joined the forums on 24 June and put in my request to be admitted to the keyholders forum on the same day.

As mentioned by other members, try not to push the issue with her, that might very well turn her off to it. Also, as already mentioned, the keyholder's forum is good because only keyholders, the moderators, and admin are allowed in there ... no regular members or guests.

I'm pretty active and might be able to help her along just a little ... as one newbie to another. She's more than welcome to seek me out .
0 x
~ Kitten ~
Wife of 45 yrs & KeyHolder for KittensBoyToy (aka KBT)

User avatar
Schnoff
Posts: 261
Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2017 5:03 pm
Location: Western MA
Gender:
Contact:

Re: "Hello world" thread

Post by Schnoff » Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:57 am

> the keyholder's forum is good because only keyholders, the moderators, and admin are allowed in there

And while the moderator team has access, the male part of the team keeps away from that section. @Lady M is moderating that part of the forum. It's been that way since the forum opened, just to make sure people in that forum can feel a measure of privacy.
0 x

Gargoyle
Posts: 28
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:14 am
Gender:

Re: "Hello world" thread

Post by Gargoyle » Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:24 am

Well...my wife did get tired of it. She has a very low sex drive so I introduced it as a way to limit our sex but to keep me with the feeling of intimacy I need. She said it keeps her mind on sex all day(not in a good way)because she knows I’m horny in the cage. She said it’s okay to do every now and then for a few days but as an ongoing lifestyle it’s overwhelming. As mentioned above, she said I’m doing all these things for her because I want to be teased or whatever. I didn’t even ask for anything except the need to be unlocked at night(too hard to sleep in).
I tried getting her to read up on kh, Chastity, etc...but she already knows a lot about the topic(which she does). She used to attend all these fetish parties and stuff before I dated her. I thought I hit the jackpot but with work and kids that’s all gone.

The problem is she knows what I want/need and feels bad she can’t provide it so to lack of drive and getting overwhelmed with so much intimacy. She prefers a few quickies to satisfy me but that’s not satisfying for me. To me a quickie is like a transaction with no intimacy. Don’t get me wrong, they have their time and place.

It’s not as bad as it sounds as we have a very open line of communication and everything else is great. We knew the challenge of our sex drive differences when we started out and she appreciates me trying to add intimacy but it’s too hard for her.

For clarification, she classifies any petting, teasing, massaging as sex.
I ended up with a frustratedly pathetic wank to porn. Not the release I was looking for.

I made it very clear that I loved her and wasn’t mad but frustrated on ways to increase intimacy. I don’t want her feeling bad which she does anyway as she knows it’s her low sex drive/intimacy issues. It’s an area she wished was better for her.

This is a lot to process and not sure how to proceed. Advice welcomed.
Last edited by Gargoyle on Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:01 am, edited 3 times in total.
0 x

Gargoyle
Posts: 28
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:14 am
Gender:

Re: "Hello world" thread

Post by Gargoyle » Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:51 am

I would like to add that I didn’t “push” constantly to be teased. She said she knows though that I want her to tease and release me. I explained I was doing everything just to make her day easier(some chores) and that made me happy. (That I did overdo. Lol). She said that she knows it all goes back to me wanting her to satisfy me in some way.
She’s no dummy and noticed the cage did coincide with me paying way more attention to her. The attention is overwhelming to her.
I did the chores and little things recently without even mentioning them. In addition I made it very clear that I expected nothing from her in the way of touching. It was all about giving her control on the when and how.

She is an extremely smart woman. I’m talking on the brilliant side and has studied up heavily on the dynamics of top/bottom dynamic.
0 x

User avatar
Schnoff
Posts: 261
Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2017 5:03 pm
Location: Western MA
Gender:
Contact:

Re: "Hello world" thread

Post by Schnoff » Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:02 am

> She said that she knows it all goes back to me wanting her to satisfy me in some way.

Which is okay. That's the "getting needs met" part of a partnership. It's a perfectly reasonable expectation to get your needs met. It's possible she can't do that, or she's conflicted about doing that.

My best advice is to find a kink-friendly couples counselor that comes recommended, and see what's going on individually and as a couple. You having needs is okay. Her not meeting those is also okay; it might mean you're incompatible, though. Which is no-one's fault and still quite painful.

It comes down to the hard, and rewarding, work of figuring out what each of you need and want out of the relationship, and whether and how you can give that to each other. Just teasing apart needs and wants can be quite difficult.
1 x

Post Reply