[Sam3655] I’ve put it out there

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Sam3655
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[Sam3655] I’ve put it out there

Post by Sam3655 »

Looking back, chastity for me is falling down a rabbit hole. I didn’t fantasize about having my junk locked up nor do I consider myself submissive. I am 56 this year. About a year ago the wife was going on a trip for about two weeks to take care of her mother and joked about trusting me. I sent her a picture of a chastity cage and jokingly said I would wear it while she was gone if it would make her feel better. She said no and it was quickly forgotten.
With menopause she states she has zero hormones and lost her sex drive. Sex became less and less till it was once every other month. I could also go down on her but rarely if ever any reciprocation. This let to taking matters into my own hand as they say and frequently self pleasured. This in turn led to really bad tennis elbow. Yes any repetitive movement can cause tennis elbow. I like lifting weights and it was getting more and more painful to grief the bar. I would get a sharp pain in my forearm down to my wrist. But by this time my self pleasuring was just as addictive as my weight lifting.
I should mention the wife and I sleep in separate bedrooms due to snoring issues. With an aching elbow, I remembered the cock cage and thought it would be a great way to stop masturbating. Trial and error and knockoff models on eBay I found a steel $10 cage from China and a resin Cobra cage that fit well. In my research for the cage I also delved into learning about male chastity. Wearing the cage at night soon fixed my tennis elbow. I was also wearing my cage during work but always took it off when I would be spending time with the wife. This has been going on for about six months and never knowing how to approach her.
I found wearing the cage came with a low level of arousal. I felt more with my penis confined in the cage. But like anyone doing self chastity it is just to darn easy to take the cage off and rub one out. The more I read, this forum included, I began thinking of what it would be like to have an actual key holder. Last weekend with some drinks and cards we were discussing the lack of sex in our lives and her worries about my wanting to roam. Told her I only wanted her and brought up chastity. Tried explaining it to her and showed her the cages. But she said she didn’t think she could be mean to me. I didn’t want to push too hard so I suggested I send her a book on the subject to her Kindle. She can read it no pressure, afterwards we could discuss it again and if any interest, we could give it a two week trial and then discuss again to see if we could continue.
I sent her the book and keeping with my no pressure have not brought up chastity at all. It’s just difficult waiting for her to read the book or know if she is even going to read it. But that is where I am at and waiting to see if we can take the next step on this journey. I would also like her to join this forum cause there is so much advice and experiences to learn from.
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Fastredcar
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Re: [Sam3655] I’ve put it out there

Post by Fastredcar »

What book did you send her to read? I find myself in a very similar situation and am pondering how to approach the topic. I willbe very interested in your progress.
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Sam3655
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Re: [Sam3655] I’ve put it out there

Post by Sam3655 »

Male Chastity by Lucy Fairbourne. Knowing my wife, I thought this was the best book as it wasn’t vulgar in any way. It also focused on the chastity. Others I have read add a lot of cross dressing and cuckhold material. If that is where you want to go that is great and you may want to look at other books. I know I don’t want to share my wife and no desire to wear her clothes. I would just not make a pretty woman. Lol
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Sam3655
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Re: [Sam3655] I’ve put it out there

Post by Sam3655 »

It’s been five days since I asked her to at least read the book so we could discuss incorporating chastity into our lives with her as the key holding. I have been unlocked since asking so no pressure put on the wife. On the outside I am smiles and rainbows and unicorns. On the inside I am like the book is only 74 pages long. Read the darn book.

Tomorrow she leaves for a three day weekend and I keep thinking how great it would be if she asked me to lock up my penis and she take the key with her. I can’t ask for that but it is a great thought. We’ll see.
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Mr Pickle
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Re: [Sam3655] I’ve put it out there

Post by Mr Pickle »

C has some inbuilt resistance to being pushed in any direction and this includes books, pages of interests even pleading texts. I gave up trying to get her interested this way, it was too frustrating for me and it made everything harder for C. Maybe you'll have a similar problem?
mentally strong/stubborn. Not a bad thing in this game, it means slow long lasting changes when eventually she makes her mind up.
One thing C will read (if sent at the right time) is poems, because she finds them slightly amusing. But each poem I send gets a tiny message a cross or plants a seed.
I wish in hindsight I'd saved them all and put them in a separate log. I've started doing this now in the fiction section. Maybe this type of thing would work for you.
Start off slow with something she wants to read. Something groan worthy. I keep some really bad ones in reserve to lighten the mood and keep her interested in reading. No sexual 'how I love thee' types of things.
Take a look, maybe this approach would work. Slowly slowly.
Good luck.
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Me. "I only got 30 seconds, that's not fair". C. "life's not fair, suck it up" :(
Sam3655
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Re: [Sam3655] I’ve put it out there

Post by Sam3655 »

Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate but will fore go the poetry. Not the wife’s thing unless it’s something Prince wrote. Lol
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Sam3655
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Re: [Sam3655] I’ve put it out there

Post by Sam3655 »

Well the wife as gone off for the weekend. I had hoped she ask me to lock up for the weekend but nope, nothing. I did notice she took her e-reader so there is hope that she will start reading. But every cloud has a silver lining and I have 72 hours of uninterrupted time to self lock and beat my best time.
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Sam3655
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Re: [Sam3655] I’ve put it out there

Post by Sam3655 »

The wife returned on Monday from helping her mom and life returned to normal. I had taken the opportunity to go all three days 24/7 in chastity which is the longest I have gone. Keeping with my no pressure approach I have said nothing regarding the book. I will say I did open her e reader hoping to see she was reading it but a Stephen King novel was up. I felt a tad bad that I snooped even that much because I would never look at her phone. But do the same rules apply to an e reader?

Monday and Tuesday not a word about the book. Last night she finally said she still intended to read it so there is hope. I played it cool stating read it or not read it. It was her call. I still wear my cage which is a nano size cobra. Ordered a new cage one size smaller. Limits to be tested.
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Sam3655
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Re: [Sam3655] I’ve put it out there

Post by Sam3655 »

It’s been another week and wife, CS, has not read the book and no discussion. I think in two more weeks I will just give up and having her as my key holder. In the mean while I tried a HT3 nub but too small. Thinking about a Cherry Keeper as turtling is an issue. Read a lot of reviews on this site and think that might be the way to go.
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Scott
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Re: [Sam3655] I’ve put it out there

Post by Scott »

Hi Sam,
First....I'm sorry you're where you are. I hate to add another book that won't get read to the list, but I heard about this book on a podcast this week. I haven't read the book yet, but his interview was pretty interesting.
https://www.amazon.com/Locked-Love-chas ... 8&qid=&sr=
Here is a link to the podcast. Unfortunately.....it's a cuckold podcast. That might be off-putting to your wife.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/l ... 0576669455
If that doesn't work. Look up Venus Cuckoldress...the date was Aug 20th (S2 E20)

I'm gonna go a different way. I'm JUST finishing my divorce. My wife and I slept in separate beds for YEARS. My counselor (note MY counselor, cause she was so far gone that she didn't want to even try) pretty much slapped me on the back of the head saying "why didn't you work on the sleeping situation a LONG time ago?" Have you thought of working on your relationship that way? We were living as roommates for years...not sure if you're that bad....but I assume it's only gonna get worse.
I get you're trying to do something to spark things up there, but maybe something involving a penis (even though it's the opposite of a penis going in her) isn't the right way to go.

And...sorry if I was off base here. It just really hit close to home. I'm happy to chat via PM if that's better for you.
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