[trijack3] Resurrected from the dead but WHAT have I gotten myself into???

A place to blog about your thoughts and experiences
trijack3
Posts: 55
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2022 4:32 am

Re: [trijack3] Resurrected from the dead but WHAT have I gotten myself into???

Post by trijack3 »

Divine Guidance

I continue to be overwhelmed with the orchestration of circumstances, guidance and advice that have brought me to this place in my life where my wife and I are experiencing the best sex & romance of our lives. My chance discovery of teasing that drove a return of my libido during the same time I was dabbling with chastity to incent me to lose weight & maintain it. The discovery of a new test that identified hidden cardiovascular disease that explained my loss of libido, my erectile dysfunction and revealed a low testosterone condition. The timing of all of this hit right before a 3 week trip away from my wife that drove me to chastity to control me urges. Even though I was ready to try to restore intimacy in my marriage, my approach would not have been the best one and wouldn’t have adequately addressed my need to be free of porn & masturbation. And then Covid hit me and derailed my plans. As I headed off on my next trip away from home when my quarantine period expired, I meditated on scripture verses related to marriage & sexuality and began to better understand the meaning behind them given my new found understanding of myself, my wife and my relationship with her. I became convicted of my need to “come out of the closet”. I determined to give her control of my body & sexual function and ask her to be my keyholder. This would require me to admit my failures and beg her to help rescue me.

I was a broken man during that disclosure and first couple of weeks of “freedom” with my wife. I shed more tears that week coming to grips with my need and with remorse over the many lost years of our marriage where we didn’t experience such amazing intimacy. Being locked up has set me free from bad habits. Sacrificing my orgasms has given me the desires and capacity to love my wife as I’ve always wanted to but never was able to. My chastity cage gave me a strong, emotional feeling of safety that was difficult to explain, but my wife seemed to understand.

I’ve continued to experience divine circumstances that have led me to fully grasp my needs and to a further and deeper commitment to chastity. More on that in future entries as I work towards getting caught up on this journal.
0 x
trijack3
Posts: 55
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2022 4:32 am

Re: [trijack3] Resurrected from the dead but WHAT have I gotten myself into???

Post by trijack3 »

Attempting to find the new normal

The next month was pretty amazing. D and I couldn't wait to get home in the evenings to be together. We had long conversations over dinner or before bed. Our intimacy was not just sexual. Rather, our sexual intimacy grew from the emotional, relational, intellectual, & spriritual intimacy that we were experiencing via our improved communications. D exclaimed that I had become the best friend she always longed for.

I was spending a lot of time working on ways to serve her and sending her flirty or complimentary texts throughout the day. Every morning and every night we start and end our day with cuddling, snuggling, spooning and/or soft caresses. When we watch TV, I moved off the chair onto the sofa and we always have some body part touching each other. We started going shopping and getting pedicures together. When out at the store, going for walks, during church services, etc we frequently hold hands.

The first week after my first orgasm with her since the conversation, I didn't experience the letdown that so many people talk about. I did realize how horny I was especially after my near failure with my toys. After 2 1/2 weeks, D decided it was time to take the cage off again and I had another mind-blowing O. I again moaned and groaned so much during the build up and climax which D drew out wonderfully. I've never made uncotrolled noises like that before. This time, the amount of cum was really significant.

I could feel my attentiveness falling off a bit after this 2nd O. Shortly after, I behaved very badly upsetting D on the way to a romantic dinner out alone. It almost completely ruined our dinner and certainly put a damper on things for about 24 hours. I quickly apologized and said I didn't know what had gotten into me. But I had behaved like I did before chastity & orgasm denial and I think we both knew it. I was very careful and tried to be really submissive and she responded amazingly the following night. We had great sex but I wasn't allowed to cum. I had taken the cage off the day before due to a skin irritation likely a result of poor hygiene after a week in the cage without removal. After that love making session, I woke up in the middle of the night with a raging hard-on and an overwhelming desire to grab my cock and flail away. I finally jumped up, found my Guardian, and headed to the bathroom to force it back on before returning to bed. The urge to masturbate was so strong I had to do something. D woke up and asked what had happened. I rolled up next to her and told her how much I need her, something she's always longed to hear!
1 x
trijack3
Posts: 55
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2022 4:32 am

Re: [trijack3] Resurrected from the dead but WHAT have I gotten myself into???

Post by trijack3 »

Attempting to find the new normal

The next month was pretty amazing. D and I couldn't wait to get home in the evenings to be together. We had long conversations over dinner or before bed. Our intimacy was not just sexual. Rather, our sexual intimacy grew from the emotional, relational, intellectual, & spriritual intimacy that we were experiencing via our improved communications. D exclaimed that I had become the best friend she always longed for.

I was spending a lot of time working on ways to serve her and sending her flirty or complimentary texts throughout the day. Every morning and every night we start and end our day with cuddling, snuggling, spooning and/or soft caresses. When we watch TV, I moved off the chair onto the sofa and we always have some body part touching each other. We started going shopping and getting pedicures together. When out at the store, going for walks, during church services, etc we frequently hold hands.

The first week after my first orgasm with her since the conversation, I didn't experience the letdown that so many people talk about. I did realize how horny I was especially after my near failure with my toys. After 2 1/2 weeks, D decided it was time to take the cage off again and I had another mind-blowing O. I again moaned and groaned so much during the build up and climax which D drew out wonderfully. I've never made uncotrolled noises like that before. This time, the amount of cum was really significant.

I could feel my attentiveness falling off a bit after this 2nd O. Shortly after, I behaved very badly upsetting D on the way to a romantic dinner out alone. It almost completely ruined our dinner and certainly put a damper on things for about 24 hours. I quickly apologized and said I didn't know what had gotten into me. But I had behaved like I did before chastity & orgasm denial and I think we both knew it. I was very careful and tried to be really submissive and she responded amazingly the following night. We had great sex but I wasn't allowed to cum. I had taken the cage off the day before due to a skin irritation likely a result of poor hygiene after a week in the cage without removal. After that love making session, I woke up in the middle of the night with a raging hard-on and an overwhelming desire to grab my cock and flail away. I finally jumped up, found my Guardian, and headed to the bathroom to force it back on before returning to bed. The urge to masturbate was so strong I had to do something. D woke up and asked what had happened. I rolled up next to her and told her how much I need her, something she's always longed to hear!
0 x
trijack3
Posts: 55
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2022 4:32 am

Re: [trijack3] Resurrected from the dead but WHAT have I gotten myself into???

Post by trijack3 »

Too much pleasure too soon

After my 2nd orgasm, it was only another 2 1/2 weeks before D decided it was time again for an O. This one was equally as good as the previous two, if not better. I definitely felt extremely satisfied for a couple of days but then things started to get a bit rough. I wasn't feeling the energy and sexual tension as I did previously even though D was continuing with her daily tease sessions. After 3-4 days, I was very horny. Finally, on a Sunday afternoon in late April, 6 days after my O, D left to visit the family in the afternoon. I was uncaged because of another skin irritation so I put it on fearing that I would succumb to temptation. After messing around for awhile, I got the toys out again stimulatiing my nipples and vibing my cage. It took only 15-20 seconds of vibing my cage a couple of times before I was over the edge. I pulled the vibe away, tipped over the edge and had a ruined orgasm over the toilet.

I certainly wasn't feeling good about this and was feeling very guilty. It was a couple of days before I admitted my failure to D and asked her to hide the vibrator from me so I wouldn't be tempted again. She was disappointed but took it in stride, possibly because I had told her a couple of days either before or after my failure, I can't remember which, that we needed to go longer than 2 1/2 weeks next time because I wasn't handling it well.

I was searching harder in these forums for information on length of orgasm denial and came across a link to a site "The Secret to a Happy Marriage" https://happy-marriage.neocities.org/. It was here that I read for the first time that a wife should keep her man in caged & in complete orgasm denial for at least 90 days, if not more, to break a masturbation habit. I briefly shared this information with D who reacted as if she wasn't sure about. I suggested that we go at least a month and then talk about it again. 90 days or more... HOLY COW! That hit me like a ton of bricks.
0 x
trijack3
Posts: 55
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2022 4:32 am

Re: [trijack3] Resurrected from the dead but WHAT have I gotten myself into???

Post by trijack3 »

The Contract

Since it was now the 1st of May, and the website I referenced iin the previous post suggested a contract, I put together one to discuss with D. She shared with me her feelings about it and I adjusted it. We decided to call it Guardian Guidelines since we've been referring to my cage as the Guardian. It needed to have a few important elements... regular accountability and some stipulations that would limit me from bringing up the topic of chastity all of the time. We agreed to discuss length of my chastity denial lockup at a monthly check-in and revisit any changes to the guidelines. Here's what we settled on:

Guardian Guidelines

For D:
- She will hold the keys to the Guardian and will not make them accessible to him.
- She will decide when he will be unlocked for sex, teasing, or medical appointments (if required to expose himself).
- She will make an effort to frequently tease and arouse him.
- She will initiate a conversation monthly on the first day of the month to discuss Guardian status.
- She will hold him accountable for poor behavior.

For J:
- He will not ask for release and may not ask how long until his next release.
- He will not bring up the topic of chastity. Exception: potential medical issues.
- He will be responsible for requesting opening for and cleaning of the Guardian during hygiene releases.
- He will be responsible to put the Guardian back on immediately after the conclusion of any release for sex, teasing or hygiene unless a medical issue requires it.
- He will not look at Visually Stimulating Images such as pornography, swim wear & lingerie catalogs, other nudity or sexually explicit materials, or women dressed suggestively.. (“No VSI”).
- He will not tease himself physically thru stimulation of his nipples or genitals either manually or thru the use of any power tools. (“No Tz”).
- He will communicate any circumstances that are making him vulnerable to temptation such as depression, guilt, fatigue, etc or nor have I given in to any other external temptations. (“No Tempt”)
- He will be accountable daily by 10 am to report on items 5, 6, & 7.
- He may ask for permission to have a discussion of Guardian status on the 4th day of the month if no discussion has taken place in the prior 3 days.
- He will make an effort to frequently tease and please her as often as possible and/or she desires.

Lockup guidelines:
- Length of lockup period is at her discretion.
- An initial lockup period of 3 or more months is recommended.
- Subsequent lockup periods of 4 weeks are recommended.
- She may shorten these periods for exceptionally good behavior or increase them as a consequence for bad behavior.
- Lockup guidelines can be discussed and revised during the monthly Guardian status discussion.
0 x
trijack3
Posts: 55
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2022 4:32 am

Re: [trijack3] Resurrected from the dead but WHAT have I gotten myself into???

Post by trijack3 »

Early May

I have been struggling to reacquire the energy and sexual tension that had me on a high during our first two chastity cycles. I suspect the 3 supra-normal full orgasms I had really threw me off. I have spent this time searching for more information on an Initial Lockup with Orgasm Denial period after a man has had a chastity break-in period. I emailed the author of The Secret to a Happy Marriage who told me she had come up with the concept from reading many blogs and articles on the internet. I came across a podcast by a professional mistress dominatrix who said she requires trainees to be locked up and orgasm free for 108 days to train them not to please themselves. I messaged her and she said something wanting her trainees to abstain for about 4 hormonal cycles that she ties to the lunar cycle. While this was not a lot of definitive information, I decided to keep searching and reading since I had plenty of time before my next check-in with D.

Tuesday, May 17

Feelings of vulnerability

Having been in chastity 24/7 for almost 3 months now, I’ve cycled through most of the normal emotional trials of life. I think they have actually been fewer than normal though because my wife and I were on a high for the first 2 months. As I’ve written previously, we have experience a higher state of intimacy in our marriage than ever before. This is a direct result of embraciing chastity together and implementing a lifestyle of tease & denial. This has increased my hormone levels and changed my disposition drastically.

Unfortunately, since my wife has been sick for the past week, she hasn’t been teasing me. She also forbids me to tease & stimulate myself. I have a daily accountability check-in with her in regards to visually stimulating images (i.e. porn, etc), teasing myself, and other temptations including feelings of vulnerability. I have noticed an increase in feelings of depression and irritability, and difficulty sleeping which are symptoms of low testosterone. When I would get like this, my old nature would resort to masturbation to get that quick fix of dopamine to the brain. Last night, while lying awake at 4 am and having an attempted nocturnal erection, the urge to hold my penis and masturbate was exceptionally strong. Thankfully, I had my Guardian on because I’m certain I would have given in to the temptation.

Wednesday, May 18

My wife is feeling much better and indicated she’s ready to start teasing and playing again. “Tonight” she said. We retired for the evening relatively early and went at each other as soon as we got settled. She teased me enough to get me started although the impact was limited due to the amount of alcohol I had that evening and a lack of sensitizing activities during the past week. Still, it felt great and I soon turned to her. I spent some time arousing her by exploring various body parts with my hands and kissing. But it doesn’t take much to get her going because she gets really turned on by teasing me; I guess my full body twitches & spasms as I respond to nipple play & other teases get her mind going plenty because she’s always wet by the time I hit her clit & vagina. We’ve been focused on her clitoris lately but I decided it was time to try for the “G-spot” / vaginal orgasm. Because I wasn’t in the right position to stimulate both her G-spot and clit at the same time, I kept the focus on the inside of her vaginal wall. It didn’t take long for her to come with 4-5 strong spasms and squirt a few times. She didn’t realize she had ejaculated but I felt 2-3 squirts mixed in with the waves of orgasm.

We spooned and snuggled for a long time afterwards and it was magical. It felt so good to be skin on skin. We were like two hikers who had been lost in the wilderness without food for days and finally found their way back to civilization. I pressed in behind her and attempted to get every available body part in contact. It’s moments like that where my waxing and grooming of my torso, pubes & legs is all worth it. We slept all night in contact with each other in some way. And she teased me again in the morning leaving me quivering with pleasure & arousal.
0 x
trijack3
Posts: 55
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2022 4:32 am

Re: [trijack3] Resurrected from the dead but WHAT have I gotten myself into???

Post by trijack3 »

Thursday, May 19
More spooning and snuggling last night & this morning was just what I needed and she genuinely seemed to be enjoying it also. She usually pushes me away after awhile because she gets too warm but that never happened the last two nights. I had to be the one to finally back off and make some space. When we woke up this morning, she flipped around wanting to spoon me and quickly used that position to begin to tease me.

D is getting extremely good at teasing me. And my sensitivity is high after more than 3 weeks without any kind of orgasm. She trailed her finger tips all over my body for at least 5 min. Then she before targeting my balls which has never been a primary teasing area for her. It’s clear she is becoming less and less intimidated by my cage. And I let her know non-verbally that I was enjoying what she was doing to my scrotum. When she finally shifted to one of my nipples, I was fully aroused and the faucet of pre-cum started flowing and dripping all over my leg. Something I said let her to believe she had teased me too much and she said she was glad to know so she wouldn’t tease as much in the future. This had me whimpering “NO, NO, NO!!!”

Friday, May 20

D continues to improve her teasing skills. She had me close to the edge without ever touching me below the waist. I finally had to roll over and hug her naked body to calm the trembling in my body. I’ve discovered I have certain triggers that give me an uncontrollable urge to masturbate that later make me glad to have the cage to prevent me from taking matters into my own hands. But her teasing doesn’t do that even though it makes me horny as hell. She has me back simmering on the verge of a boil every day.

Saturday, May 21

I stumbled upon a podcast on marriage & sexuality that had an episode on porn & masturbation. The wife mentioned it being as serious as a drug addiction and talked about how difficult it is to overcome. Her husband mentioned having a couple of relapses early on in his battle to get porn free. I’ve spent a lot of time searching the web and discovered many of the reboot, nofap sites and yourbrainonporn.com. These sites confirmed for me the need for at least a 90 day lockup with no release. Many discussed the PMO reboot but one even suggested based on a number of nofap journals that no erections during the reboot would be best to shorten the re-wire period. No mention was made of chastity cages but I don’t know how you could be erection-free unless you have a severe case of ED, or PIED in their case. So I’m beginning to grasp the need for a PMOE Reboot.

The good news is that the general thought is that 90 days should suffice for someone like myself who didn’t grow up with the internet and porn in my teenage years. I’ve come to realize my addiction is to masturbation / orgasms. Porn was only a stimulant to get me aroused. I’ve been porn free for almost 3 months now, haven’t missed it, and haven’t had an urge for the visual stimulation. D has satisfied this desire.

I’ve identified 4 triggers that give me the urge to masturbate so far in my journey.
1 - When I feel guilty or angry with myself or when I’m tired and depressed about life circumstances, I have a strong urge for dopamine to make me feel better. This triggers a strong urge to masturbate. I hadn’t consciously realized this until I was caged and unable to satisfy my craving.
2 - Too many powerful orgasms in too short a time. After having the 3 most amazing orgasms of my life in a 5 week period, I couldn’t control myself. Without the right coping mechanisms in place, I caved and gave myself a ruined orgasm with a vibrator on my cage.
3 - Being in a hormone drought. When D was sick and I went without teasing for a week, I was getting moody & depressed and was hit with a strong urge to masturbate. D and I will need to discuss how to deal with this in the future if we continue the all-natural route for my low T problem. I also have an appointment to see my Dr to get tested and discuss treatment options.
4 - I get hit with urges to orgasm within the 3-5 window after an orgasm.

One question I had that I’ve seemed to find an answer to is whether lots of teasing & physical touch would be bad during reboot. The answer seemed to be clear that this is actually a good thing because it trains / rewires your brain to seek a new, healthy source for dopamine and pleasure. That and the behavioral & attitude changes are a healthy part of the process that you want to lock in. 3 months seems like such a long time but when I consider that I’ve been living otherwise for decades, it doesn’t seem that long after all. I just hope it’s long enough.
0 x
trijack3
Posts: 55
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2022 4:32 am

Re: [trijack3] Resurrected from the dead but WHAT have I gotten myself into???

Post by trijack3 »

Sunday, May 23

I woke up early and laid in bed waiting for D to stir. When she finally came to, I spooned her for awhile and then began to lightly caress her which eventually became a full body thing. She doesn’t always let me do this and, when she slid her legs apart, I knew she wanted EVERY part of her body caressed. She had a wonderful orgasm and then turned the tables on me and teased me beautifully until I was trembling all over and needed to hug and embrace her until my heart and body calmed down. A wonderful love making session without the big O for me.

Shortly after that, I was reading someone’s journal and came across an article about Karezza. I had heard the term before but decided to read deeper. It described what we had experienced this morning without penetration. In full practice, neither partner has an O and there is no need for a cage.

Monday, May 24

Found a book on Karezza, “Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow”, and began reading voraciously. The author is pretty verbose and spends a lot of time exploring similar described practices throughout history across multiple cultures and religions. But she firmly believes that the woman should also go without an O as well because her post-orgasmic “refractory?” period is about 2 weeks during which time she doesn’t feel good.. I don’t know if that’s true for D because she’s only gone a few days without one since we restored intimacy in our relationship 2 ½ months ago. I do know that she is not interested in another O for about 2-3 days. I mentioned this to D and asked her if she’d be willing to experiment as the author suggests for 3 weeks without an O; we would continue doing what we’ve been doing but stop short for her. She is not sure she wants to go without after finally resuming intimacy. I ask her to think about it… she might find that she really enjoys it after 3 weeks and will enjoy it even bettter.

I also found a podcast by Dr Trish Leigh - Porn Brain Rewired. She and the author of Cupid spend time explaining the neuroscience behind what happens in a man’s brain when watching porn, masturbating, having an orgasm, etc. Dr Leigh advocates for a 90 program to unwire, rewire and hardwire your brain. Cutting it shorter than that doesn’t allow for full recovery and new healthy habits to form. Some who have severe problems with porn that result in ED, etc could take longer. I can’t imagine how deeply difficult it would be for a single guy not in a relationship to overcome this habit. She and others claim it’s worse that a heroin or cocaine addiction.

Dr Leigh talks about identifying how you first got started watching porn as a key to understanding your problem/behavior patterns. This turned out to be helpful to me. I was introduced to masturbation at a young age by my next door neighbor. We masturbated together and soon started looking at Playboy magazines while doing it. The images were very arousing but it was always about the pleasurable experience at the end. I have been able to leave visually stimulating material behind without the urge to go back for the past 3 months. The urge to masturbate occasionally raises it’s ugly head when triggered as I mentioned previously. Gary Wilson on his website Your Brain on Porn suggests that older men like myself who started out with soft porn and had sexual experiences with real women don’t seem to take as long to overcome a porn addiction. This gives me confidence that a 90 day PMOE denial “reboot” will be adequate. Whether or not it can curb my desire to masturbate occasionally will be the big question.
0 x
trijack3
Posts: 55
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2022 4:32 am

Re: [trijack3] Resurrected from the dead but WHAT have I gotten myself into???

Post by trijack3 »

Tuesday, May 24

I just realized that today is day 30 since my last O, a ruined O that I gave myself when cheating behind D’s back. This is the longest I’ve been O-free in forever. I feel good and want to stay that way!

D asked me after our morning tease session how long before I could take My Guardian off. I thought she meant permanently. My answer was that over the last couple of days I had started to think that might be a possibility someday. She quickly said “No, I meant to take off so we can play with your thing, give you an O, and go right back into the cage.” When I started to give her an answer, she said “I thought it was my decision”. I quickly recovered but I told her I think I need to go 90 days according to many sources in order to fully rewire my brain. So she asked me “Are you telling me you want to go 90 days without an orgasm?” I gulped and told her no, I want one right now, but I want to do whatever is necessary to be the best husband I can be.. that I didn’t think 90 days was too long to sacrifice for her after so many years living the other way. But I said “let’s take it one month at a time” and talk about how it’s going at our monthly chastity check-in. She seemed to be okay with that.

Wednesday, May 25

Woke up to D pulling me in and spooning me from behind. She made love to me exquisitely again until I was trembling and couldn’t think straight. At that point, I flipped over and began to return the favor. I quickly discovered that the “door was open” and she was ready to be stimulated down below. I returned to caressing other parts of her body because my guy’s brain wants to go straight to the O and I felt I needed to spend time getting her aroused. What I learned though, which totally blows my mind, is that D gets really aroused in teasing me. I can’t imagine but I can see the affect because she is always wet down below when she finishes with me. So I went for her nub and she said “I thought you wanted me to wait 3 weeks”. I told her I was going to stop before I went too far. She told me she didn’t want me messing around down there unless I was going to finish the job. Her answer to my question about a 3 week trial was pretty clear. I held her as close as I could while pleasing her with my hand until she had a beautiful orgasm. I felt it with my whole body and it gave me mini-orgasms of pleasure. Who could imagine that this could be so good???

Friday, May 27

Woke up at 3 am and continued reading Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow; I’m into the sections on the neuroscience which has been very interesting. Around 4:30 am, a nocturnal erection hit me and I had a strong urge to please myself. I was very grateful / frustrated I am still wearing my Guardian and couldn’t touch myself. I wanted to roll over and snuggle with my wife but really didn’t want to wake her up.

We made love again when she did wake up and I pleased her again; she doesn’t want an O every day and would have gone without but my persistence finally paid off. She said “I thought you didn’t want me to orgasm that often.” My reply was “you told me you didn’t want to go an extended period without an O so I’m going to please you as often as you want me to. And then we’ll see how that goes.” I’ve decided I will continue to do everything I can to keep her feeling loved, sexy & desired and see if she grows tired of that… I certainly hope that’s not the case.

D keeps finding new ways to tease me… she had initially been avoiding going “below the belt” because she didn’t like the cage but has gradually increased her efforts in that area. Today, her teasing was almost exclusively down there and she never even got my nipples into play. OH MAN!
0 x
trijack3
Posts: 55
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2022 4:32 am

Re: [trijack3] Resurrected from the dead but WHAT have I gotten myself into???

Post by trijack3 »

Saturday, May 28

I had a melt down last night… too much to eat and drink were triggers and I had an outburst with my wife & sister. My wife and I had discussed earlier this week that after my sister leaves today, we would cut way back on alcohol for a while. At least one therapist who helps men with overcoming porn & masturbation addictions suggests a 30 alcohol free period during the initial 90 day PMO reboot period. I’m not sure we’ll go that far, but she’ll definitely be curtailing my alcohol consumption. We were at a winery earlier in the week and I mentioned wanting to join their wine club. She said No. We later discussed it one day when she was teasing me and she said “So that was a turn on for you, huh?” I smiled and cringed a little bit. She’s enjoying this a bit.

As I read deeper into Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow, the author begins to talk further about the affects of porn & masturbation on creating addictive behaviors. She hammers home the neuroscience with information from multiple research studies as well as many quotes from porn recovery patients. She mentions the need for a lengthy abstinence cycle that includes orgasm denial because it’s a trigger that can set you back in the recovery process to rewire your brain. Yesterday morning’s urge to touch myself and masturbate is fresh on my mind. I wonder if I’ll ever be free from those urges. While I don’t have an urge to masturbate during or after our teasing sessions, I definitely want D to finish the job and wonder how I would react if I didn’t have the cage on. Would I start humping her leg and rubbing my erection against her body trying to get off? I can tell this learning process is going to take a long time and I am not going to be free of my Guardian any time soon, if ever.
0 x
Post Reply