[DrPinotNoir] 30 year Marriage, She is Asexual. I masturbate a ton. Marriage almost dead. Then chastity came

[DrPinotNoir]

So it is about time to write this down, new reader.

• Long time married Men, you can use the chastity cage yourself to change yourself into something that will make her curious. Is it manipulative? yes, but it is going to change you and for the better. That woman made you feel a way years ago that you vaguely remember. You remember it was great but you are like. How did we get here to this place where we barely connect anymore?

• Women, If you have a husband like me and read one book (There are tons out therewritten by women who used to be you), show up with a chastity cage and a key around your neck. You are here because you are curious and that is good. You can probably skip 2 years ahead in your relationship by facing your fears and buying a cage. I think you can have a marriage and sex life of your dreams that you control and love.

Last night for the first time in 15 years. My very vanilla (thought she was asexual) wife who hasnt been interested in sex for about 15 years had me locked in a Chinese knock off cage, snuggling against my neck with my cage in her hand fondling me under the blanket told me "I want you to eat my pussy" (and she was leaving the cage on).

Chastity is working, It is working in a way that WE both never anticipated. (But if you read enough books and read enough of these blog posts you will find that our story isnt unique. It seems to be PRETTY common.

It has been a wild journey with ups and downs and I am sure there are more to come. Me getting mad because chastity wasnt "How I wanted it". She started off with Zero interest in fact probably NEGATIVE interest because this was just more for her to deal with, it was MORE sexual pressure and horrible in her eyes. There were a LOT of things she didnt want to do but experimenting with that chastity cage fixed our marriage like no amount of books or visits to the psychologist were going to do. (That may have worked if we found a good one but after 5 we gave up)

Chastity was transformative. I am a completely different person or maybe, just maybe I have become again the person I used to be when she met me after 30 years of

• kids

• jobs stress

• ups and downs of life

got us to the place where every marriage paradoxically seems to be; definitely still love each other but bored, boring and not sexy at all...

Back in 2019 pre-chastity. we used to be "roomates passing each other in the hallway" hardly doing more than a grunt of acknowledgment. or a kiss that we both felt we should do but we both didnt feel that tingle.

Now, She loves it and does something by her own doing that is amazing. Lock me in a cage and suddently my focus goes from masturbating to porn stars to wanting to hug and kiss my wife. we have exactly the kind of relationship we both want. (I can pick the lock on any of those burg wacher cylender locks in 3 seconds - I used to to sneak in a quick session when she wasnt watching) Contrast that with now where, She wears the mature metal jailbird key around her neck proudly and wouldnt even take it off when I sent it back for mods a couple days and I have ZERO desire to take this cage off the reward is too high.

Anyhow here we go. I guess there is no better place to start then at the beginning.

[DrPinotNoir]

POST #1 "The day it all started"

The day it all started was November 15, 2019. It started with me seeing a woman pegging a man in porno. This time I noticed that he had a pink cage on his penis. What is that? That must be some kind of chastity cage? That looks cool. I think I went through a phase where the "Videos du jour" was pegging videos with chastity cages on. I started reading about chastity cages and thought. "Hey that would be fun." I should buy one and try it out. I even read stories of guys who put them on and left them on forever. Id never be one of those guys. That is just weird. Ill order 2 different looking ones and give it a go. This will be a cool toy to play with while masturbating I thought.

so I got on Amazon because of course I had an idea in my head and I wanted it RIGHT now. I scanned ebay. Wow. There is a lot of variety. I think I see that there is two kinds. Metal and plastic resin. Ill get one of each and I wont get the cheapest ones either.

so November 15th 2019. I found two I liked. A "Utumi Cock Cage" and a FYJENNiCC "Chastity Device Male Briefs" What a weird name? Male Briefs?




I got same day delivery. I opened the box snuck downstairs and started messing with the cages and different ring sizes provided.

What fun. Putting it on made me feel really strange. It was a turn on for sure. Wow.. Chastity cages.

This purchase was my first mistake. Id llist the mistakes in order of severity.

1. I never measured myself. I thought I didnt have to and I saw that these two devices and many like it offered various ring sizes. I thought that would be sufficient it really wasnt.
2. Stop buying devices. I bought a ton of them. Searching for a better fit (On the bottom of my posts. Ill keep a running count of how much I spent and on what.)

I think you should approach the situation from the other angle.

Measure first then buy devices. It will eliminate a lot of buying.

You can follow a blog post like this
https://thrillofthechaste.net/2014/11/0 ... ure-metal/

or go get the sizing rings and instructions from mature metal.

If you are sticking with the cheaper non custom cages then you need to figure out your ring base ring size. I tried the 2.0" with the FYJENNIC. Well that was super loose. Lets go for the 1.5. That was hard to put my balls in at all. They fit but it was way too tight. I landed with the sizing rings provided on 1.75" There was no ring in the middle of 1.5" and 1.75" (Later having used the Mature Metal sizing kit I found out my perfect size is 1-5/8")

With non custom devices you really arent going to be able to measure them. These are the various measurements.

• Base Ring diameter - This one is very important. I was a half size which meant getting this measurement right was important

• Cage Length Extremely important if you want to keep the device on and give over the key. You measure and you go a little smaller than that so you can pee through the device. Trying this on a cage too big is a frustrating mess Even with the right length design matter because you dont want your urine stream to hit the bar when it does.. wow.. urine really goes in WILD directions.

• Cage inner diameter. this measurement is a custom cage measurement. I think most knockoffs are 1 1/2" inner cage diameter. I think this measurement is less critical than the other 3. That being said. being a custom cage owner snug does feel nice.

• Base ring to cage gap. This one I didnt think was important at all. For me it was the gap that was plaguing all these devices I bought. Even when I got the other measurements right. This measurement was always 3/8" (the knock offs to me seemed all the same) It always pulled like crazy when my scrotum would get cold. I even ordered my custom cage with 3/8" because that is what they said most people are but for me. After bending it I got it to 1/2" and that was when the pain stopped.

so.. those are the four basic measurements.

• Base Ring

• Cage length

These two seem to be best when working with non custom. You might get lucky and it might fit.

Total Spent so far: $52.90

[DrPinotNoir]

Post #2 "Well that was cool. Lets buy some more stuff!"

You see on here all the time "How do I approach my wife with this?"

One of the things in our relationship that is really good is communication. It doesnt take long for me to say what is on my mind. She is more reserved but nothing really gets to her. 30 years of being together. We are both predictable This one was a little out there but still was accepted and a good conversation was had about it.

So that night after buying the two devices I was already thinking about it. So we sat down and I said to her. "What do you think about putting a chastity device on me and you keep the key?

I remember the look on her face and the first words. "Whaaat? what do you mean?" the look of confusion was high. She had no idea what I was talking about and what the devices were. Honestly I didnt either so this was a bit awkward because I had been looking at this on porn for a few weeks. I did research. I found two cages. I did some reading. She came to this with a totally bewildered look on her face.

"Yea so you put this device on that seals the penis and goes over the balls and it locks away the penis. There is a key that you wear around your neck and you only unlock the penis when you want.

"That is weird" she said. (but not in a way that was gross just literally hey, this is something ive never heard of before.)

We talked some more about things I had read. and I said "Would this be something you would do or is this too much?"

"I dont know. Why would you even want to do this? I dont think you would want to deny yourself that."

I said to her. "I dont know It kind of turns me on"

"ok we can try it. I dont want to wear a key" I think at this point I have no poker face I think I might have slightly frowned. For me having her wear the key woudl be big. but hey we are trying this. She said it is ok to try it but she set limits. So I sought out something we could lock the key in and be in a place she could get to but she didnt have to wear it. I found a book safe and I bought that. It was a book that would be in siight in our living room at all times and no one would suspect anything.

I also liked the pink plastic resin cage but I saw again on amazon that the same one was available in clear. "Clear!" I said, "That sounds cool. I can see my penis through it!

So I added the book and the clear plastic resin cage (I was completely unaware that the cage was way too long but here i was buying a second one just different) I really didnt like the utumi metal cage. I thought that I would always like the resin plastic ones and not metalbased on how much I didnt like the utumi metal one. It was too wide in the cage. The lock clanking was annoying. it was also TOO long and looked riduculous when on. That may hae been a larger cage than anything I ever tried.



Nothing purchased so far has made it long term but that will be explained shortly.
Total Spent so far: $87.44

[WifeIsVanilla]

POST #1 "The day it all started"

• Base Ring diameter - This one is very important. I was a half size which meant getting this measurement right was important

• Cage Length Extremely important if you want to keep the device on and give over the key. You measure and you go a little smaller than that so you can pee through the device. Trying this on a cage too big is a frustrating mess Even with the right length design matter because you dont want your urine stream to hit the bar when it does.. wow.. urine really goes in WILD directions.

• Cage inner diameter. this measurement is a custom cage measurement. I think most knockoffs are 1 1/2" inner cage diameter. I think this measurement is less critical than the other 3. That being said. being a custom cage owner snug does feel nice.

• Base ring to cage gap. This one I didnt think was important at all. For me it was the gap that was plaguing all these devices I bought. Even when I got the other measurements right. This measurement was always 3/8" (the knock offs to me seemed all the same) It always pulled like crazy when my scrotum would get cold. I even ordered my custom cage with 3/8" because that is what they said most people are but for me. After bending it I got it to 1/2" and that was when the pain stopped.

so.. those are the four basic measurements.

All 4 of these dimensions are VERY important, but the reason for my post is to correct your comment about cage Inner Diameter. Most knock offs are 1 3/8". I know because I need 1 1/2", and (for me) that eighth of an inch makes a huge difference. Within the CB series, only the Curve has an ID of 1 1/2", but it is ridiculously long. The Cobra has the option of 1 1/2". I have one, and I love it. However, I can't thoroughly clean it in the shower, so my custom Jail Bird is the only device I use for long term lockups.

[DrPinotNoir]

These are all my opinions based on what I went through since 2019. I am going to preface everything I say with "I think" for me, cage inner diameter was close enough. That base ring to cage gap was a serious problem for me and with no way to really measure it. If there are others like me I want them to figure out that before ordering, getting hurt (like I did) and having to send it back and pay again. Base ring gap I think I have that figured out now.

Post #3 "My "Asexual" "Vanilla" wife is starting to scare me."

Last night she was chuckling while looking at me and I said "Why are you looking at me that way and chuckling?" Her response was a cage bending. "Because I am thinking of all the dirty stuff I can do to you" I looked at her and shot back with a "Oh? what are you thinking about? Im curious because you have really been shocking me as of late. I came up with an idea while I was having dinner" she goes back and forth and says "It is too lame I dont want to say. Im sure yours is way better" then of course she does say and it is something awesome. This is VERY new behavior.

She bought this 10" dildo that is perfect for harnesses and way too big to put in me. She bought it because she had me list the type of porn I like as a homework assignment. One of the things I said was Id like to (while caged) suck a dildo she is wearing while she just watches TV. She says "I want to wake you up at 4am with my cock on and make you suck it."

yea.. my mouth dropped. "Wow, that really is a good one! Yikes"

She asked "well isnt that lame?" I said "Not even close. That is kinda near my limits and wild"
"what else do you have?" I said
"Well I was thinking of mounting that dildo on something while I watch tv. You mount it and have to go up and down on it in front of me until you cum in your cage. Meanwhile Ill just be watching you embarass yourself."

yeah I said "That one was even hotter. Wow you are really expanding your ideas. "

She seemed super pleased by me saying that. So then she replied with "Well what did you come up with"

Well I was thinking while eating my chicken sandwich downstairs how wild it would be for you to come in. Unlock me and tell me to pull my cock out. "you want to masturbate do you? Fine Open your sandwich. I want you to jack off into your sandwich. Then you close it.. and tell me "Eat up"

The look on her face was not what I expected. It was one of interest not of disgust. "Cumming on your Food.." she said "I havent thought of that. That one is pretty good"

Cant tell if she is teasing or going to legitimately make me do it. The funny thing is this last book she read has her saying all kinds of stuff. I think saying it.. is a gateway to exploring things she wouldnt have done before. Should be interesting to see what happens.

[DrPinotNoir]

Well It has been a while. Time for an update. Not sure if winter time or the fact that the jailbird is metal but it doesnt feel 100% comfortable. I think it might be weight related. (The weight of the jailbird). I got the new HT V5 (knockoffs. I cannot be convinced they are different but we may get one because of how much I love the version 5) I got one in clear to test.. My wife immediately bought the pink and black one. (The one came with 3 rings not the single one) This thing is damn comfortable. Ive been able to put it on.. and I forget I have it on now!. I am also in one ring bigger than I ever was with the version 4. I think because it is wider. I might post a video on how you can increase the gap on the V5 if needed. (that was a surprise adjustment I needed on the jailbird.) I need a little larger gap than normal or I get the burning chafing.

Anyhow.. my wife knows this one is comfortable. I was hopistalized for a situation that is 100% under control so we have been giving it a break for 2 months. Well.. Ive been locked up constantly without breaks too. She is getting back into the gist of things too. We havent had sex in about 4 months not even a customary blowjob. Turns out she has a list of grievances she is going to give me. Things we need to work on before she wants to do anything. Didnt stop me from being locked up though.

Things seem different this time. I was having mood swings before when I got hospitalized (you should learn the signs of diabetes because they affect a LOT of people that are healthy too) anyhow. This are developing and she is REALLY taking charge in a way that she never has before. Mixing and matching the different color rings. So We are back and Im having a lot of fun with it this time. I know she is cautiously optimistic too.

threw out all that magic locker cages I used to have. They are way too easy to lockpick. Total waste of money. I now have a jailbird with security screw and a black, clear and pink HT V5.