[bikelock] Not entirely sure where this is going

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Bikelock
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Re: [bikelock] Not entirely sure where this is going

Post by Bikelock »

Just a quick update. The wheels of the NHS are grinding exceedingly slowly and I don’t know much more health wise than I did a month ago. On the relationship side things might have back slid slightly for multiple reasons. My daughter is home from uni and although I love her dearly she isn’t the easiest person to live with and when we argue it upsets the wife. I am also very stressed over all the complications of the upcoming trip to the USA especially with Covid running rampant in both the UK and US. The only positive is the new Evo is being shipped to the US address so I should be able to give my wife her new keys when I get back in September.
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Bikelock
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Re: [bikelock] Not entirely sure where this is going

Post by Bikelock »

Just received my new blackout Evo. The ring is perfect and emailing Toby about slight change in the cage a wee to small. Have to say the ring is super comfortable. I am currently looking after my mum who has just had a knee replacement and won't see my KH for another 3 weeks. That should give me time to get used to the Evo. I can't wait to surprise my KH with her new keys. Fit and feel much nicer than the HT nano.
My health issues seem to be resolved and my wife has mentioned a few times about am I going to try a cage again? I have been non committal but always with the intention of surprising her. We will be together back in the UK for 4 weeks then she is away for 6 weeks so like it or not I am going to be locked quite a bit over the next few months. I hope and expect I will like it especially if she does.
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Bikelock
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Re: [bikelock] Not entirely sure where this is going

Post by Bikelock »

Finally made it home to 🇬🇧. Managed the 8 hour flight locked in the new Evo with no issues. I had asked my KH to wear a new necklace I bought her to pick me up and I presented her with her new 🔑. She was surprised but seems happy. I am looking forward to restarting our chastity journey. I am hoping she will reward me with a chance to service her with my tongue tonight.

She is going to be away for six weeks next month so even though extended locking isn’t really my goal I guess i am going to get a chance to experience it. Hygiene with the Evo is pretty easy but I will still probably ask her to allow me out once to clean. Maybe video supervised? We shall have to see
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Bikelock
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Re: [bikelock] Not entirely sure where this is going

Post by Bikelock »

The journey seems to be back on track. My. KH had a very happy reunion night with 2 orgasms provided by tongue and fingers while I remained locked. I am getting used to 24/7 and seeing how I get on with everyday activities. Cycling is part of my job and the Evo was certainly less awkward than the HT but I knew it was there. If I am going to be hauling trailers or in the saddle for extended periods I think I might need to be unlocked. This shouldn’t be an issue as the cage is there mostly to allow my KH to feel in control of how and when we have sex so unlocking for work will be alright. On the other hand the fewer times I have to take things on and off the better. I am finding to get my head properly engaged with the turtle lock I need the stocking method and it isn’t entirely comfortable. Swimming was fine and don’t think the cage bulge was noticeable

I don’t feel like we are quite where I would like to be yet but things are definitely moving in a positive direction. She is wearing her key to work for the first time. She is worried people will notice and wonder. I of course wouldn’t mind people knowing that she is special and wonderful enough to be worthy of my trust and surrender. I think it is going to be a slow process but I’m encouraged so far. The next big test will be her 6 weeks abroad.
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Bikelock
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Re: [bikelock] Not entirely sure where this is going

Post by Bikelock »

Well you never know the next big test came sooner than I thought😢. After a month away looking after my mum and sorting out her house that was in a dreadful state. I got home and was really looking forward to my first weekend with my wife. She decided the perfect thing to do would be to go to her mums house to work on clearing it. Oh joy but OK f that’s what she wants. Before we left I said “don’t forget to take your key”.and she headed upstairs to get it. This cage is still quite new and we might be going swimming at a public beach so I wanted the option to remove it if needed. We get most of the way there and stop for a walk to break the journey. We go to the loo and I take longer than usual (have to sit). She comments and I say well now I can’t use urinals it takes longer. Oh can’t you just take it off? No you have the key and that would be awkward……Oh I left it behind.

I was not pleased and said but I reminded you and you went to get it. Oh I thought you meant house keys. I was a bit pissed off and told her that if I’m going to give you control over my body you need to take it a bit more seriously. She got pissed off and said she didn’t want control it’s all a silly game and just me being a perv. Not a great start to the weekend. I think she was a bit embarrassed she forgot but it has thrown things into a bit of a spin.

I think things will return to being better but my emotions are on a bit of a roller coaster. I feel things are ok then feel she isn’t interested in sex in any form and isn’t interested in making any effort to improve our relationship then back again. Intellectually I know I invested a lot more thought into how great it was going to be to be back together. TBH the time in the States was pretty hellish. No internet no AC with temps hovering in the high 90s and humidity 80% plus. The house was a wreck and filthy it was not a good time. The idea of getting my life back and having time with the wife was about all that got me through it. It feels like her attitude is oh yeah nice to see you but I’m busy. Not fair and probably not accurate but how I feel and hard to deal with.

Still back caged for her. She let me service her with my mouth last night and maybe we can get the good mojo back in the 3 weeks before she leaves for 6 weeks. Still hopeful but bruised from all these bumps in the road
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Bikelock
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Re: [bikelock] Not entirely sure where this is going

Post by Bikelock »

So this journey is getting more interesting. My KH definitely is making a bit more of an effort. I asked for a discussion about where things were headed. I was concerned that by surprising her with a new cage she hadn’t had the chance to decide what she wanted out of the lifestyle. We had discussed things before we ever started but we were forced to stop due to the HT not really fitting then medical concerns. She seemed interested in restarting but nothing definitely decided. I thought getting used to a new cage while we were separated was a good idea. It wasn’t. She felt. I sprung it on her without her having a chance to process. Despite this she vetoed a sit down discussion.

Turns out she has been doing her own research. She was out at a class tonight. When she got home I was in bed. I messaged her to come ravage me and she replied be right up. She straddled me then started biting my nipples and fondling mr. I asked her to peg me but she suddenly stops and says that’s it. Just going to tease you tonight no further. When I told her how horny I was for her she just said no begging and no release. Later she asked if I’ve stayed locked while she was out and I assured her I have not cheated at all. Despite things not always going smoothly I am committed to trying to make things work and so it seems is she.

She wasn’t sure that it would be okay to use her strapon on me while I stayed locked and she doesn’t want to let me out yet. She is going to read some more and I sincerely hope she will decide that it is fine to take me with her girl cock while I stay locked. Here is hoping it won’t be too long before one of us gets filled. TBH I would be happy with either option.
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Bikelock
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Re: [bikelock] Not entirely sure where this is going

Post by Bikelock »

The roller coaster continues 😢. Feeling good about where things were headed then we went out for a walk. We started talking about our relationship and feelings then she comes out with “You’ve told me why you wanted this but I don’t think that’s the real reason”. I was hurt and a bit stunned. Like most of the couples on here I thought about chastity for quite a while before bringing it up with the wife. I admit that when we first discussed it I emphasised the stop wanking to porn motive but I later openly discussed my other motives I.e. make her more comfortable with greater intimacy by letting her control the pace. TBH she has always had control but the cage is a physical reminder of that. She still has this idea that what I really want is some FLR femdom BDSM relationship.

I know I’ve been honest with her but how do you prove that? I tried to just let it wash over me and not react but later she made another comment about my real motives and this led to a row. Counterproductive I know but sometimes words come out before better sense can stop them. We seem to be okay now but I can’t help thinking she is always going to doubt my motives.

I know I have made mistakes in how I’ve approached things. I really shouldn’t have gotten a new cage before a lot more discussion. In my defence she had said she had come round to the idea and liked it but in hindsight we needed more explicit consensus. Like a lot of men on here I was hoping chastity would rekindle our romantic spark but it isn’t always the fix we hope for. I have no idea what the long term outcome will be. I have stayed locked but she seems to have no intention of unlocking me anytime soon but she also doesn’t seem interested in teasing or reciprocal cuddling. A lock it and forget it relationship is not going to be viable long term for me. I love her dearly and I get off on looking after her and pleasuring her but there has to be some affection in return. I know some men want a cruel selfish mistress and if that works for them I am happy for them. That has never been my goal though.

I am going to try and be patient. I do appreciate the increased attraction I feel for my wife of 30 years. I like that I am spending more time with her. I am still madly in love with her and want our relationship to deepen and improve. I am not sure I can stand months of doubt or indifference. She is away for 6 weeks all of Oct half of Nov. Maybe the time apart will give us both a chance to reflect. I live in hope but fear despair.
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shyguy
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Re: [bikelock] Not entirely sure where this is going

Post by shyguy »

All I can say is what you are describing is uncannily familiar to my experience. I'm reading your journal with interest and hoping things progress. I think you are in a better starting point than I was so I have my fingers crossed for you.
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Bikelock
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Re: [bikelock] Not entirely sure where this is going

Post by Bikelock »

Quick update. Things are back on a more even keel although I’ve been spending some time unlocked due to issues around work. I’ve gotten very busy at work which involves quite a lot of cycling. I developed a small sore on my scrotum and it is taking a while to hea so we are more on the honour system ATM.

My wife is preparing for a six week trip abroad and she is definitely initiating more cuddles and affection. We have a morning ritual of me bringing her coffe in bed the giving her a kiss on both sets of lips which is very nice. I of course am not looking forward to the time alone but at least we see to be ina good place and I am hoping she will have time and space to think about where she wants to see the relationship go.

I doubt we will ever be the perfect partner for each other but then life isn’t perfect, and we’re pretty good together. I expect we will be one of the until death do us part crowd. I think OC/male chastity will be part of our dynamic at least for a while but whatever happens I feeling calmer and more positive about us.
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Bikelock
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Re: [bikelock] Not entirely sure where this is going

Post by Bikelock »

It has been a while so thought it is time for a quick update. The rollercoaster of life continues but seems to be smoothing out a bit. Her 6 weeks away was too long and I got quite fed up as she didn’t text or call more than once a week usually. I was not happy being on my own only one going into the office etc felt very isolated and fed up meanwhile she was having a great time and couldn’t be bothered to reply to texts other than oh can you pay this bill for me. We have had periods apart before but this one really got me down and we did not have a joyous reunion.

Eventually though we have worked through it and I am locked once again. She is slowly getting more comfortable about being in control and has even engaged in a bit of teasing and deciding herself on a date night. I am still not locked 24/7 as work is a constraint. It is just too uncomfortable to spend hours on the bike locked. Maybe a different cage would make a difference but TBH I’m not going to spend loads more until we are both sure this is long term.

We both seem happy with things as they are at present. Locked most of the time but not always. I feel we are making slow progress towards where I would like us to be and that is enough for now.
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