To expand, I am a gay male in my mid- to late-30s. Around two years ago I started collecting chastity devices. The first I purchased on a whim from a local sex store - I'm not sure of the model, but it would never really be used. Simply too big for me, and my anatomy never wanted to curve through the rings like the device wanted - I think it was best "for show" but little else. Soon after I picked up a CB-6000, but grew annoyed by the constant ball burn and the little posts that would push themselves free of the ring. Moved onto a Holy Trainer, which was certain the best working device for me, eliminated a lot of the pain and burn, but became unusable after I got a PA (February 2020).Have been exploring denial play personally for a year or so, getting more into it and attempting longer lockups. I have someone acting as a KH/instigator, and have even talked my husband into holding a copy of the key. Recently discovered CF and wanted to sign up for an account so I could better research PA specific devices to take the next step into a more serious (and seriously secure) device. Plus I love to hear stories from other people's journeys.
I had wanted a PA for years at that point, but was always afraid (I think most guys are at that thought). All I can tell you is that it is an easy piercing, doesn't hurt much (for me, it was like an extreme pinch), and the aftercare is pretty simple. If you've been on the fence, reach out to me, but I will just tell you to go for it. I was pierced at an 8G, moved up to a 6G in September 2020, and then 4G in April 2021. Hoping to keep going with it at least until 0G and then we'll see. While the piercing wasn't originally chastity related, it certainly was on my mind at the time given I had been practicing denial at that point.
In March 2021, I bit the bullet and ordered a new device. Kink3D Cobra. Yes, they're everywhere. But it's also the most comfortable device I have ever worn. The popularity is well deserved as far as I'm concerned. I had seem a lot of pics of other guys wrapping their PAs around the bottom post of the device as added security. Sadly I was unable to do this without constant pinching. The device sat unused for nearly a month until I had the idea/gumption to break out my modelling shears and cut away at those posts - my PA could simply fit through the front of the device through a larger, open slot that I created. It made the device usable, and so I began longer lockups at the bequest of an online Keyholder/instigator (a guy I had met at a leather event in early 2020, pre-pandemic).
My first lockups were just a few days long, working around my husband's night shifts so he didn't even know I was making more serious attempts. Eventually, both my KH and I wanted a much longer lockup, and I had to loop my husband into this kink of mine. He took it well, and I gave him the keys, but he is much less kinky than I am and I am sure he is a bit out of his element. We've had an open relationship for years, and he does accept the kinks that I pursue, so I am not sure why I was worried about sharing this with him for so long.
I think the part that I am still figuring out is purpose. Why? I couldn't tell you. I started this on my own and have very slowly gotten to the point where I'm open enough to share about it. Originally, I wanted to learn to bottom better. I would get excited and finish too quickly to ever really practice that skill, and so the device became a way to slow myself down during self-pleasure. Then it became a kink in itself - in beating the cage over long edging sessions with sounds and vibrators. Then I had the chance to wear it with a buddy I played with - a Cigar Dad - and it turned him into an even more selfish top and added an extra layer of submission to that service.
I think that last bit - submission in play - might be the driving force now. Or at least it would have been except for the pandemic. But the idea does scare me, and plays with insecurities and the poor self-image that I've got, so it's been slow going to explore.
One other idea I had was to use the device as a denial tool to force me to work on personal projects that I've been ignoring. Perhaps using completion (with proof) of a project as the key to release for a little while. Just an idea I'm toying with - it has not been put into practice.
I think I'll end this initial post here, and use updates to document other thoughts, lockup periods, struggles. Thanks for reading, feel free to reach out.