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[Laudie3426] Off to a good start

Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2021 1:54 pm
by Laudie3426
I'm 56 and have been married almost 30 years. My wife & KH is also 56. While there have been some rocky times along the way (mostly caused by me) we have a good marriage.
My wife has always had confidence issues (body image, looks, etc.) that seem to be too common among women. I have always felt like if she just had more confidence, she would be that much more awesome. My problem has consistently been that when she does agree to do something kinky, I immediately take it to the next step too fast. This has caused her to pull back.
Whenever I indicated that I wanted her to take a more assertive role or venture out to playing with others, she would typically respond with something along the lines of "that's too much pressure" or "who would want to play with me?"
In the last year or so we have been experimenting with tease and denial and a little bit of what is probably called CBT (squeezing, light slapping). She once said, "you seem to be OK with not cumming." I tried to explain that keeping me on the edge is what is exciting. She also enjoyed pegging me over the years but not often.
I have mentioned things about locking me in a cage and maybe 4-5 months ago she almost ordered one to surprise me. When she did mention it I said that it needed to be the correct size. Soon after I got another "too much pressure" comment so I put off ordering one - though I did spend a lot of time researching and getting my measurements.
Fast forward to December and one night while were playing she said "I'm really liking this domineering thing." I ordered the Holy Trainer v4 knockoff and the "Contrast Color with vent" red & black thing the next day.

Re: [Laudie3426] Off to a good start

Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2021 3:37 am
by timmyboy38
Welcome! Your quest sounds familiar. I also push things too hard, putting off my wife. You have made a major step, fingers crossed! The Holytrainer v4 feels great, I hope the knockoff will too (but give it a few weeks of adjustment). You can clean the cage with your pinky fingers all around after some practice, in the shower. This allows you to stay in it for a week continuously without hygiene problems (but start slow!).

Re: [Laudie3426] Off to a good start

Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2021 2:55 pm
by Laudie3426
So after freaking out a little when I got the order confirmation from dhgate that my expected delivery date was late March, the Holy Trainer v4 arrived about 2 weeks ago (@ 3 weeks from order). I tried it on like guys on here have suggested:
- pull don't push
- use baby oil gel
- wear just the ring for a while to get used to it
Yea that last one was a really bad idea with the HT v4 knockoff. It has two tines (if that's the correct word) that point forward that are really sharp. Being that it was my first time, I was starting to get excited. Those tines pointed down on to my shaft and it was an immediate - this thing HAS to come off RIGHT NOW! LOL
Once I put the shaft part on with the gel I found it to be pretty comfortable. I did pinch myself once as the shaft slides under the ring component.
I am using the 50mm ring. I did manage to get the 45mm ring on once but it was really hard and there were a lot more fails vs. the one success. I am using the Standard size.