[JahRubbings] From the beginning of my chastity

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[JahRubbings] From the beginning of my chastity

Post by Jahrubbings »

Nearly three months ago at the beginning of October in a galaxy far far away.......
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Re: From the beginning of my chastity

Post by Jahrubbings »

Originally posted on Oct 10, 2020

Hi there all. I have been fantasizing about being locked in for a couple of years, but never found a way to really express my feeling to my lovely wife. She has mildly expressed disappointment with how long I take to cum sometimes, which she knows is because I can't leave it alone. Also I know she tolerates me watching porn but doesn't like it. It's the elephant in the room.

Anyway...A few days ago, (7th October) as she was coming to the end of her cycle, and after a week of abstinence from penetrative sex, when my hedonistic regard for my manhood becomes overwhelming as I anticipate the feeling of being inside her again, I got my first cock-cage. It arrived at about lunch time at work, and I went in to the toilet and put it on. The feeling was incredible. That night I went to sleep with it on and the keys in my work jeans.

8th October
I awoke early, as you can imagine, and my wife did too. Sorry L. I wasn't expecting to be touched, which she kindly does fairly often, even when she is not in the mood (I consider myself very lucky). Her hand travelled down, without any hinting from me. Scared, I moved her hand back up to my chest. Oh my God! I wasn't ready to tell her quite yet. Phew!...I think I got away with that.

I take a deep breath, and deside that if her hand goes back down there I'm not gonna stop her this time and will deal with the consequences, whatever happens.....

A few minutes later her hand goes down to my crotch again, expecting to find my morning glory.
"What is that for?"
I am panicking a bit by now.
"It...it's to stop me playing with myself. I want to save it for you" I said nervously.
She thinks I'm a bit weird anyway but doesn't react badly. Phew! Then she touches it a bit, and I rub her back and neck. I am in heaven right then at that moment and it's not a rejection.

I ask if I can kiss her down there, and she agrees. I can't believe my luck! After a while kissing her pussy she wants me inside her, and releases me for the first time ever. Even though it had been only just over 24hrs since I had last pleasured myself to climax watching porn, it was the most intense feeling ever. My manhood was so sensitive and I didn't last too long. It was very good for both of us that morning.

I put the cage back on and locked it up, which she found a little bit strange, and went to work in a daze. I left one of the two keys on the necklace she always wears.

I wore it all day, then took the cage off in the shower at home, touched myself for about a minute, it's always best to clean it hard eh boys. Then I felt guilty for being aroused without her knowledge and locked it back up. Got dressed and then went to give her a foot rub on the sofa.

Oct 9th
Didn't get much sleep last night. Was about 5am when I asked if I could play with myself.
"It's your body" She said.
Leaving the ring on I started to rub myself thinking immediately of climaxing. But then I felt guilty and said to her
"I will try not to cum".
Then the second alarm goes off and she gets up. I start to put it back in. Then when she had gone downstairs I lost my willpower again and played with it guiltily for a minute or two. Then quickly locked it back up and went to work. Not much sleep the last two days but man I was focused.

So tonight it came out for a shower, as I unlocked the device, I was trembling at the knees with the anticipation of touching myself just for a minute whilst I got clean. To be honest, after cleaning I really wanted to go back in even though I was rock hard.

I have had a couple of brief chats with my wife and I am amazed with her. Despite not really being very openly sexual and probably finding it weird we have had some of the best talks in 23 years of marriage. With two teenage boys, it is a bit tense now and again.

But here's the thing. I feel my behaviour beginning to modify. I just want to please her. She is listening and open to exploring this. So wow! She's amazing and I am so, so lucky.

I have been out of control for years. An ADHD Alpha male. I sent her a link to a really good write up, The Keholders Handbook, which I said really captures how I have been feeling for years.

I had been letting her wants, which are far less than mine, be outweighed by my own desires. It had made our love making less pleasurable for her, and I had finally noticed. So I wanted to do something about it, and on some levels, I think it could improve our relationship.

I think I just came to realise that I have had a massive porn addiction for years. Still have probably, though my interest is dwindling, and that it has been to the detriment of my behaviour to myself, my wife and my family. I don't know how far this will go but I am very hopeful that I will be able to make a success of it.

One worry my wife, or should I say keyholder? Hmmm? I have not given over the second key yet. Though I have taped it up in a box. One worry, is that someone bashes in to it, and pieces will break off and hurt my member, which seems unlikely but shows she really cares. Maybe an upgrade when I am accustomed to it.

I asked her, at her leisure, no pressure to read the handbook I mentioned before. When she realises the power she can have over me I might be in trouble. But as I write the thought of that is telling me that I am ready for whatever she wants.

After a comment from a CM member. I Will bear in mind that I have to tread carefully. However I think she is already enjoying the extra attention to her needs, how I'm listening to her better.

Oh shoot!...I'm in trouble aren't I?

I think this is coming from the right place, even if it was a shock for her. Though I have been hinting for some time that I should be locked up, till now she has always thought I was joking about it.

Oct 10th
I usually pick up my son at about 10pm Friday night after work, then have developed the habit of going for a large roll up in the shed before bed, and then get drawn in to porn and my wife falls asleep. Before I went tonight, I promised her an oily massage and that I would not go out when I got back. 2hrs later and after an amazing climax for both of us, we had to change the sheets, I said that I can probably be trusted to remain out for the night, so we can get a better night sleep. So it is free and satisfied and I have no intention of misplacing her trust. I will lock it back up in the morning to keep reminding me throughout the day how important she is to me, and how I want to be a better person for her.

It feels like a fantasy at the moment, but I am under no illusions that I have some challenges ahead. I am almost in shock with how immediately my thoughts are changing. I suddenly am much more aware of the things I habitually do, without thought, that annoy her. So that's a good thing right?

Written after a sarcastic comment:
I know this all sounds quite unbelievable, but I am honestly telling it as it is and almost as it happens, or just after. I am usually quite dominant, not necessarily in a kinky way, in the bedroom and that has made me selfish over the years. This has all come from a lot of "soul" searching and heartache along the way.

I love my wife so much more than I seem to have the ability to show her. Let's face it...I am a complete hedonistic idiot, like most men I guess, or certainly the sort that I work with on a daily basis.

I am a Construction Manager so surrounded by red blooded guys who believe they are top dog, even though I know that's me. It's still a tits and ass, sexist environment which is hard to escape, especially when you have those tendencies as well.

Believe me, don't believe me. I'm just opening up in the hope of advice. I may seem confident, and upfront but in amongst the excitement of the first few days I am also a little scared and probably confused.

I hope you are enjoying my blog. I shall keep it up. It is really helping me to process all these new emotions. Feel free to offer much needed encouragement

Oct 11th
Well, the food shop with my lovely wife was a new experience. She normally complains that I tend to wander off. In my head I'm just trying to get it done quicker, but I also, I guess, have the opportunity to check out the ladies. What a perv! Then guilt!

No such thoughts today though. I found it almost natural that I wanted to be right there, whenever she looks up; I'm eyes on her. When the cashier gave me a cheeky smile under her covid mask I felt almost embarrassed for noticing. How can this be having such a profound effect so quickly?

Yesterday I found that a bit of tissue pushed into the slot in the end of my cage helped with calming me down and stopping the trickle of precum that I had to wipe off in the toilet at work several times during the day. It is a bit unsightly, but can be removed before any playtime.

She told me she did feel a bit sore after last night. Even though I had only showered a couple of hours before I need to make sure that I pause after release and for and wash it first. We have both suffered for years with yeast infections and I have a theory that even a tiny bit of pee might set it off. Which then, in the past, led to prolonged periods of frustration and porn for me. That's the habit I am trying to break.

I got a feeling of dread and excitement when she told me, as it might be several days before she feels right again.

I just told L that I thought we had been communicating better the last few days. She thought for a few seconds, "hmmed" and said "let's hope it continues". I got a rush of endorphins in my groin and a sense of pride.

Thoughts, opinions? I don't want to fuck this up! I really think it could be a great thing for her and therefore the whole family.

My first thought would be to give her time and some space to adjust to this. You seems to be way ahead of where many are this early in chastity. Some experience strong negative reactions to the idea and need to give a lot of time for another try. So try to relax and enjoy the journey. You have a lifetime to share this with your wife. Good luck

I agree. She’s getting ready to step onto the train, don’t start pulling out of the station yet.

When she asked me to fetch her a third Gin and Tonic I got a thrill out of leaping up straight away, I wouldn't usually and might begrudge the request, then I cooked dinner for the family. Whilst in the kitchen she called me in to the lounge.
"Sing this for me"
"Sing for you?"
"Stand by me...Ben E King"
" Of course" I chirpped up right away. It's been a long time since she asked me to do something like that. *welling up a bit* I finished the song kissing her on the neck and then the mouth it was so passionate. I feel so alive! How long will it last? This absolute thrill of pleasing her, making her happy.

I seem to be opening up more generally in conversation, not keeping my thoughts hidden, and that feels really empowering, so many hidden unhealthy thoughts over the years. So submitting my cock to my wife makes me feel more powerful?

Weird, but kinda makes sense. The split personality of men. Two brains. One tiny one in his dick that is like the One Ring. "One ring to rule them all and in the darkness bind them. This is the One Ring Frodo" and now it is around my parts.

He he....it very much sounds like you will soon be repeating the sites tag line....."be careful what you wish for"

So let's wind the clock back a couple of years. In my head I am starting to realise that the "conjugal rights" kind of mentality that I had was not fair. Not ever forced but if I wasn't "getting it", after a while I would start to get upset about feeling rejected and my needs not being met. Whether there was good reason or not.

I don't think I was really aware that I was doing it. I had come across porn that was setting me up to fantasise about the concept of being in chastity. I had been through so many different kinks in my almost daily routines but this one theme stuck.

I was starting not to like anything, where there was the slightest hint that which ever lady was performing, I am not much into looking at clips with other guys dicks, any hint that, she wasn't really actually in to it, I would be turned off. So then I realised that whatever fantasies I have, or have had don't actually matter in real life. Only if that fantasy would turn on my wife as well. That's fair right? I'm trying NOT to be a caveman, eh?.....

Anyway. There has been this recurring complaint about my behaviour over the years. I love to give my wife a massage. But because my expectation of when that develops into something more intimate doesn't always line up with hers we ended up both carrying a lot of guilt. Her guilty of denying me and me guilty of being an ass at times but shortly thereafter regretting expressing my animal instincts and wishing I had handled it better.

The thing is that I just DO get aroused touching her back. When I am usually [email protected]@d anyway, I get in to a kind of trance and just really get in to feeling the muscles.and bones and TBH I find that in itself a massive turn on which benefits my massage skills and therefore her back aches. Now I have removed the guilt. No strings. No presumption. No pressure. Just a happy wife.

Oct 11, 2020
Trying a slightly smaller ring. It's comfortable but the warming sensation when I am aroused has increased slightly. It felt okay I think? Using the shortest spacer and picked the shorter plastic bolt so the lock is now holding the cage tight against the spacer rather than there being a little movement.

So going back again to before. I learned years ago, in my late teens, during some very stoned and barren years that when I was really high I could use my imagination to get myself close to orgasm, and obviously I experimented.

Then, moving forward to a couple of years ago when I was slowly trying to undo the damage my expectations had caused with the massage situation. I am lying in bed, spooning with my L, which she loves but I find erotic to the point of being bothersome, so I try hard not to press my throbbing penis in to her crotch. But with such a wild imagination I struggle to sleep and get fidgety. So I begin to discover the joys of allowing the arousal to happen and trying to relax through it. Turning my crotch down to the sheet so it doesn't bother her.


What I find is more satisfying and relaxing than the regular climaxes from watching porn. And in my wild imagination I have flashes then long scenarios play out where I would not be allowed to touch myself. I started pulling my boxers up tight and tucking the old boy down and pretending to be in chastity unable to get fully erect.

I really started to get in to the deep sense of relaxation. The job I was doing at the time was excessively stressful, with the possibility that if, what was a dangerous situation went wrong I could have ended up in prison. I was working for some real cowboys, but managed to get out with my liberty, honour and dignity. So the relaxation techniques were really helping. This was another stepping stone for me in to chastity, though at the time I wa not aware of it.

My L is the most caring person. She would never have imagined this. She has really never looked at, or thought about looking at porn. She swears like a trooper, but finds dirty talk silly and difficult. But there it is. "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes you get what you need".

We have been in love for more than 23 years. I don't think I want to give up my orgasm, though time will tell. A the moment the goal is to be able to postpone the urge to climax for a few days or a week. I'm not sure if I could take any more right now.

The surprise for me, is how easily manipulated I have made myself, of my own free will. Every chore that I helped her with today gave me a satisfaction I was not expecting. I never expected that it was going to be so profound.

How do I ensure that this is a success?

She doesn't even appreciate the power I have handed to her yet, and probably hasn't processed the fact that she is happier and calmer.

Wait till she reads up on things a bit!

I have really noticed change in both of us. Better communication is happening both ways, which is reinforcing the idea in my head that this chastity thing is going to be beneficial to our marriage.

At the moment I have access to open myself up but am gaining trust.

Can I trust myself?

How long can I trust myself?

Will the porn hungry dickhead try to resurface and make me act poorly? And when?

I want to maintain this feeling that I had all day that pleasing her gives me an endorphin rush.

L has said to me in the past that women should be held on a pedestal, I am beginning to see the light. She is right. She has always been right. Nurturing, motherly, caring, perfect! That's what women have been about for millions of years of evolution.

Men, well we are a different species. When it comes to evolution, we are mostly apes and have to fight in our heads not to have those aggressive sexually promiscuous tendencies, well some of us.

We have had a lot of fights over the years as is normal for 23 years of living with another person, and with two teenagers pushing our buttons there are still quite often dramatics from all of us. However, when the boys shout at her, L sees it as my failing to be a better father. I want to put a stop to this.

By being acutely aware that my freedom is dependent upon my wife being happy with me, I think I can be a calmer more attentive happier person, which I hope rubs off on the boys.

Been having some really open conversations with L. It is honestly opening up emotional and empathetic feelings that I am finding thrilling and very enjoyable. She has been an absolute rock.

This morning she asked if I wanted to come out. Despite a bad night's sleep because of a raging horn I said I should wait. I know she is still sore from Friday night, and I want to reassure her that she comes first. TBH I am a bit sore myself. The tighter ring was comfortable when I put it on for bed, but is a bit chafed under the scrotum right now.

Is that normal? I think it maybe only a feeling of heat because I am so stiff inside? As I am writing this, outside whilst I have a morning tea and rollup, the heat seems to be easing off. Not sure if I need to adjust it or not. Put the larger ring back on or try a slightly longer spacer to ease the gap between the cage and the ring. Advice please people!!!

Put a bit of aqueous cream around the sore bit. It is helping. Still undecided as to whether I go back to the ring I had on yesterday, or stick with it. Think I might already want the comfort of a more ergonomic ring? Holy trainer V2 looks interesting.

L is quite liking all my attention and I feel like I am getting more back from her as well. I love you my wife. You are the most beautiful amazing woman. It is a pleasure to have you in my heart. What a soppy bastard!

I said this morning that before I bought my cock-cage and put it on I thought it was really kinky. Now I think it is about the least kinky thing about me.

This is about a lost romance.

She rightly complains that I'm not very good at the romance stuff. Being under her control, if only by consent and trust at the moment, how can I fail to put her needs first?

This amused me. On Thursday morning, Day 1, I put one key around her necklace she always wears out, but leaves on the dresser when home. She didn't notice still Saturday! The other key is in my work bag sealed by tape in a box, and I don't want to use it. Eventually I think I will need to get her to check the box, so she would know if I have used the key, and would want to know why, but she hasn't quite taken possession of the keys yet. I will have to be honest about how desperate I am getting.

She doesn't understand yet, the power that my denial can have to affect my thoughts in a positive manner, because before my wake up call, denying me only caused friction and guilt, which I now accept was entirely my problem. She just wants me, no us, to be happy.

She wants to please me too. She said this morning that she liked holding it now, as there was no pressure she found holding it comforting. Wow! I am open to anything that can keep us connected, and right now I feel more connected to L than ever.

This isn't about months of abstinence, We have always enjoyed it at least once a month, often 5 to 8 times I would guess. Life is busy and people get tired. I don't want that to change too much, but if I can make love to her 2 times that she enjoys rather than 2 for her and 6 for me then I will be a happy man. Don't get me wrong, if I could give her 10 or more great times in a month and achieve orgasm with her each time I'm gonna take that option.

Will I naturally start to want it less?
Will my cock just tune in to her wants and needs?

Taking too long to come has been a problem. In my head, the reason I would masturbate was to ensure I wasn't too quick when my lady did want to make love. This was counterproductive and a lie to myself. She has always been quite quiet and I mistook that for a lack of enthusiasm, which it sometimes was, but often wasn't.

I think what I want, is to understand at which point she is satisfied and wants me to hurry up and finish. I want to change my mindset, to the position where I can be happy with my failure to cum in good time for her, and she will not feel guilty asking me to finish quick or come out and "cage up" . Because, if I store it up a bit longer, it will be more enjoyable for both of us and beneficial to our marriage.
Last edited by Jahrubbings on Wed Dec 23, 2020 10:15 am, edited 9 times in total.
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Re: From the beginning of my chastity

Post by Jahrubbings »

Oct 11, 2020
I've always been the kind of person that would have one chocolate now, rather than the promise of more later.

Part of being ADHD, which I believe to be a natural human condition, exacerbated by the hectic world of screens and information thrown at us these days. When I visited my then 6 year olds classroom to see the teacher I couldn't focus with all the tons of stuff on the walls everywhere.

In short, I have a hunters mentality in a modern world. I am focused while there is a clear prey ahead of me, but if something more interesting comes into my peripheral vision then the hunt shifts. This makes focusing on work or anything really difficult for me. And made me a pain to teach when I was at school.

I owe L my life. Without her I would still be a grubby little hippy in a bed sit, with no prospects. With her I am surprisingly successful, despite being a bit nutty, lazy and selfish. To use a football analogy..."That substitution has really turned things around in the second half"

Please feel free to comment, encourage, offer advice, especially advice for my poor, shy, out of her depth wife, who is taking it all in her stride. This is a long time coming, if you'll pardon the pun, and I am completely out of my depth, knowledge wise. I have to make this right. I have a lot to atone for.

I hope my journal resonates with some, and is enjoyed. I will try to be as open as I am able, and see where it leads.

Thanks for looking.

It's almost as if, by giving myself to her, I have taken away any reason I ever gave her, or anything said in anger, to think that I don't love her. That is very empowering.

Another great day at home. I was helpful and attentive and catered to her needs. When she wanted to go for a walk I was "well up for it". Boys weren't so keen, so we drove to the other side of the village and had a lovely walk. Stopped and took pictures of flowers and then our wedding day came up.

I expressed my regret at being off my head on [email protected] and missing the first dance. I told her it was funny coz I got quite tearful yesterday when I was thinking/regretting it and had had a thought about remarrying her and getting setting things right. She wasn't up to the money spend, but the concept of renewing our vows in front of a few friends was very well received.

We also touched on how I think she saved my life. I wasn't heading anywhere good before we met.

She thanked me for the lovely walk when we got home. I got a very passionate kiss and as I pressed my cage into her, she pushed back which was very rewarding.

Writing this blog as I'm looking for a bit of validation and a way to process my jumble of thoughts and emotions over the last 4 days I guess.

I tried the smallest ring, no chance. Got the second one on but too tight, then went back to the 2nd largest ring with the shortest spacer. More comfortable now, but still looking to upgrade quickly I think.

L hinted strongly that she would let me out and play tonight. I'm going to let her lead, and see what happens. I need a good night's sleep, so I think that, even if I don't cum, I will stay unlocked for the night. I trust myself to lock up if I awake and can't get back to sleep, but I reckon I will sleep longer tonight with it off. At least for a while. Not being used to this physically and overdoing things might be detrimental to the long term goals.

Oct 11, 2020
The calming effect on the whole household is mindblowing to me. Who would have thought? Well you long timers will understand, I guess.

I want that to continue. But I am acutely aware that It's early days yet. Right I promised to go to bed now. I must be off. Wouldn't want to displease my incredible wife.

Oct 12, 2020
I didn't get to cum last night. L was too tired, and fell asleep playing with me. Was disappointed that when I touched her head affectionately she said "I'm not going down there" as it (for once) was not on my mind. That is my own doing. Making poor choices in the past for selfish reasons.

Stayed out all night and got a better sleep. As she got up I asked L to tell me I'm not allowed to play with it, which she did say right away. "Yes dear" I dutifully Locked it back up in the shower. It helps me remember what's important all day. Helps me focus.

Oct 12, 2020
L wanted me to come tonight but she was not ready for penetration. She was falling asleep, waking up and feeling guilty for not rewarding me. I removed my device as it was chafing a bit and she held my balls whilst I played with myself.

I asked her to tell me "I wasn't allowed to come, that I had to save it for her" and she did. Felt really good. Had to persuade her it was ok. Go to sleep Jah. I don't want to impose myself on her. Told her it would be better the longer you make me wait, when you are ready. Told her I couldn't be happier.

Now it is off. Needed a rest, as the ring area was feeling a bit warm and sore. Bought 2 Holy Trainer V4. Small and standard as I'm not sure which is best for size. Maybe one for day and one for night? Who knows!

Feel like L and I are getting closer. It is a great thing. 23 years of marriage takes work...about time I did my share.

Oct 13, 2020
I sent her this text. L. If you are still sore, and you are not ready to make love, I don't want to mess up what is going to be a really lovely feeling when we do. I know you want me to feel rewarded, but just knowing that you want to make love, helps sustain the feeling of closeness I have shared with you over the last week. Xxxx J
I'm reminded of the Monty Python song.

"Every sperm is sacred every sperm is great if a sperm is wasted God gets quite irate..."
Funny thing is I had a vasectomy years ago

I was more comfortable in the largest ring today. Less heat buildup around the balls. I may try sleeping in it but the lack of sleep is getting tiresome and I am very busy and active during the day. Still day off tomorrow. Gonna be tough. I would usually knock a couple out in the house on my own

Will try to get some more musings down tomorrow. A good time to process the intense emotional feelings that have come as a sweet bonus to my slight kink. By surrendering my happiness to my wife I become happier. I'm not a religious person, but Holy Shit Batman! Promised to go to bed now so offski for me comrades. Hope you are enjoying my journey. J

Oct 14, 2020
Awoke about 2am this morning, feeling well rested. L edged me wonderfully for a good 30 minutes, which was amazing until we realised the time. I had to come out of the cage or it was never going to go down. The need to pee making the whole experience quite intense. I was told maybe tonight! I am not to touch myself she told me. I haven't cum since we made love on Saturday, which is is probably twice as long as I have ever refrained from relieving myself. So I have left L going back to sleep, I would only toss and turn right now anyway, I going outside for a "J" then I will read myself back to sleep and try not to wake her up.

L held my unlocked manhood for about a minute this morning. It was wonderful. I said it was more intense than most times making love, certainly more recently. And that I don't remember ever waiting 5 days.

She is very pleased with how things are going I think. Not only do I think I am listening better, but also, because I am so in tune with putting her first, desperate for any word coming from her lushous lips, that I just instinctively hear her better. Like a penguin searching for it's mate amongst millions of other birds

Broke one of the lugs on the side of the ring that holds the top pins. Had to put the 2nd largest ring on. The heat is building up a bit already. Glad the new ones are coming today. Looking forward to trying a smaller cage. And this has a built in lock. Two advantages:

1. No rattle
2. When I tried pressing it against her, she doesn't like the feel of the metal padlock or the pins that stick out.

Please feel free to comment on my blog. I am looking for advice and support to make our relationship ever stronger. Whether you are just starting out like me or have been through it all.

Happy Lockober people!

My Holy trainer V4 Small arrived and is on and locked. Just in time the HOD600S has broken and will need super glue.

I have found my first day alone at home difficult as I am highly aroused. But L spoke to me on the phone and told me to be good. Subtle but effective. All this pent up arousal is for your pussy my love. I can't wait, I think she is looking forward to it too.

Started one of those DIY jobs that's been sitting on the back burner for a year or more. The need to atone is followed by the act is a thrill in itself. Sorted out the car insurance as well.

So. Today I thanked a friend...

"I can't say more, and don't even mention it to anyone, especially the wives. But thank you. Something about the situation you were in over the last 18 years and how kindly you dealt with it has had a profound effect on me and my relationship with L in an exceedingly good (not Mr Kipling) way. We are communicating like we should have been for 23 years. She is calmer and the boys are feeling the effects too. Thank you my friend

He was a born-again Christian until quite recently. 4 kids but never had penetrative sex with his still Christian wife. Apparently it works if it is smeared in.
But I just couldn't, and neither could L imagine that I would be such a caring supportive loving husband and father if I never got sex. This was part of what inspired me to want to improve myself.

They are now working things out, and things have improved very much for them, you will be pleased to hear. A while back I joked that he was a lucky man to be able to feel like it was the first time. They have both been very open about it to each other and now to me.

I said he was like a brother to me. Still. Not sure if any one of my male friends would understand if I confided in them.

Maybe one day when womankind inherit the earth, and all men have to be locked up by law....haha...Strange how the countries doing better with covid infections are led by women...or is it?

Even a little tension, the toilet wasn't flushing, was not drawn out into the usual battle like before. Quickly resolved, oh and I fixed the toilet.

I am a very happy boy

Early to bed and I was allowed out. L's confidence is obviously growing. First time ever my beautiful vanilla wife actually told me what I was doing wrong whilst I was licking her pussy. I immediately improved my actions and pleasured her to some sweet moans. After asking permission to come, she said "please!" And I came inside her for the first time in 5 days it was blissful.

I've tried both the small and the standard Holy Trainer, I like the snugness of the small one but the standard might be more fun when aroused. Going to sleep in the little one. 2nd largest ring is as comfortable as the large one. No burning sensation. Phew!

Oct 15, 2020
No negative feelings after a wonderful last night. Good day at work. My performance review went really well. Looking forward to going to bed locked up, with no expectations other than to please my lady with a massage. I am at her mercy. I tingle just thinking about it.

I gently suggested that there may come a time when I want her to hide the key, if the temptation became too much. I love the little mind games that we are playing. Never cruel, always kind. She just wants what is good for us. This will always be a mutually cooperative balanced relationship I hope. Sharing the chores and responsibilities of family life. Just with me taking more of the burden of vanilla life off her shoulders because I finally get it.

Oct 16, 2020
https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...l ... ive.12638/

After reading this above, I thought that perhaps L was feeling a little disappointed (I would be too if I wasn't enjoying the sensation of being locked up so much) that it took this to improve our relationship. This morning I raised it with her. She is pleased that we are both much happier, calmer, more in love. Whatever work eh? So pleased I have her support I wish I had thought of it sooner. Not gonna beat myself up about it, I'm a no regrets kinda person. But you can't help thinking.

I never read about the benefits before I entered chastity, just thinking I would try it for fun. However, it doesn't seem trivial anymore. It is fundamentally changing my life for one with complete fulfillment. I have always been happy in most aspects of my life, and despite lots of friction over the years, have always believed that tomorrow will be better. Now it really is, and I can only see us going from strength to strength. I want our bond to be unbreakable, unflappable, unfuckwithable.

Take it slow is common advice. What advice do you KH have for L? Especially relating to maintaining the psychological hold over me that is having such positive results now.

I have no expectations for her to change who she is, in or out of the bedroom. or really changing the dynamics of the relationship. I don't want her to take over all the decisions of life and money, not that she would want to, that's not her. Just knowing that I am so dedicated to her, by physically proving it, has had a wonderful effect on her confidence in us as a couple, and that, I believe is slowly giving her more confidence

Oct 16, 2020
L is from Eastern Europe and grew up in a small apartment with a hoarder. So she likes a tidy house with not too much clutter. I grew up in a tidyish house so a bit of mess never really bothered me. Friday after work she cleans and drinks Prosecco so the weekend is free. I try to help but sometimes it has been easier and calmer to just let her get on with it, as my half-assed attempts have caused stress. Not so this evening. With far better communication we managed to work together and get it done. I know it seems mundane but these are important steps for us. I got plenty of genuinely affectionate moments throughout the evening, so I am very happy. #makingupforlosttime

Oct 17, 2020
Bit of a blow out with the 17 year old last night. I was able to be more supportive during the argument and suggest positive steps forward this morning. Things are still very much on track with our relationship.

After reading a blog, I told L that denying orgasm to me, if she has finished, as it were, when we make love, will only serve to bring us closer and make the next attempt more enjoyable.

She really likes that I've stopped playing with myself for her. It makes her feel more special, wanted, needed I guess. She also expressed gratitude that she could see I was really trying. She said she had had a really lovely evening up to the argument, referring to kissing me. I told her that I got immense pleasure from it, and pleasure right now thinking about it.

We are both really starting to open up to each other. It is the nicest feeling. I have always wanted to make her happy and I feel like I now have the tools to do it.

Have friends over for lunch. I need to be careful that, even when a mate is round I continue to keep my attention on L. There have been times when I have strayed from her side, not sexually but just chatting with people at a party or something. However, with her being a less confident talking to strangers, I have made her feel unprotected perhaps. Not that she is nervous about our best friends coming, but it is good practice for the next larger social gathering. So in 2022 then!

Sleeping a lot better now. Rather than pressing my morning glory in the vain hope it will arouse her, what a plonker! I have no choice but to have a pee and go back to sleep.

No expectations.

That's what I told her. I only want what is best for her. I know she loves making love to me at times, and long may that continue. It's just that, now she knows that if she's not in the mood, she doesn't need to feel obligated, or feel she is upsetting me by not helping me to come. It empowers us both if our timing is off and there is no pressure.
Last edited by Jahrubbings on Thu Dec 24, 2020 1:11 am, edited 6 times in total.
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Re: From the beginning of my chastity

Post by Jahrubbings »

Is male chastity a submissive act? Not necessarily I feel.
Does it take a real man to realise who should come first in a relationship? Albeit with a little help from a locked chastity device and paradoxically my porn habit.

Certainly, this has been my choice, one taken lightly perhaps. But I am not a total submissive, so where is this coming from?

Perhaps I am just a romantic without the right line, the right encouraging word at just the right time. My messed up ADHD brain unable to stop myself from making poor choices. "Foot in mouth" springs to mind. Perhaps I am finally learning to think a little bit, before I speak.

Sorry if I ramble a bit sometimes. My thoughts can be all over the place at times.

Had a good day, with people over for food. Attended to the ladies well enough I think. I just should think of all of you as an extension of her. The mothers of the world. We owe you our lives, going back to the dawn of time. You nurture and help us grow, and we protect. Not that I'm against role reversal. Just saying/rambling in general.

Oct 24, 2020
Realising that it will take time for L to get fully on board. I must show patience. I have been dreaming/fantasizing about this for a long time and she needs time to catch up.

I was awoken to a lovely edging session this morning in chastity followed by PIV out of my cage. Told her that just because she had released me didn't mean that she had to allow me to cum. I was allowed. Thank you Mistress L.

Made love twice this week, but other than a daily clean and a few self releases in the early hours just to get some sleep, I have been locked up. I am only slightly tempted to play with myself but always lock it up before it gets edgy.

Got my first racy text, referring to my predicament. That was fantastic.

We continue to grow closer which is the best thing of all. She knows that this is working for us as a couple, so that's really positive. I love saving myself for L. It has now been two weeks without cumming on my own, and I don't miss masturbating at all.

Oct 24, 2020
It's like red wine. I would rather enjoy a £20 bottle once in a while, than drink a £5 bottle every day. There's nothing like that heady feeling that you get when that lovely Burgundy slides down so smooth with a nice bit of cheese and a hunk of bread. Food, Wine, Sex and Weed... Does life get an better than this?

Oct 24, 2020
I texted her:

Handing you the key after locking myself back up in the small cage not knowing when I would be let out was psychologically powerful. I am yours, always.

Telling me that you felt I "had your back" (with relation to the kids) was also a great affirmation of how the last two weeks have been going.

I love you.

Making love to you feels different than before. Does it feel different to you? Do you think about how I have saved myself for you when we make love, and does it make you feel good?

Feels good becoming the man of her dreams.

Oct 26, 2020
Texted when I got to work:

J. I forgot my spare key. Now I'm really stuck.

J. I'm not kidding...I really did leave my key at home...

L. Oh no ru going to be ok? Xx

J. It is making me think about you more...So I will be ok even if a lot more frustrated by the end of the day. But then it's the frustration that feels soooooo good.

J. You are a Godess to me

J. One good thing....the day does seem to be going quite quickly

J. Oh shit. I was reading the wrong clock
(UK daylight saving and the security cameras don't reset themselves)

L. Lol I am not surprised, I thought my day was going rather slow

After telling L that I had the rest of the week off, I texted...

J. My week just got shorter though...

J. Shorter than my caged manhood.

L. I got a R.O.F.L. emoji in response.

I think about L so much now. When, this evening, I said
"is there anything I can do for you honey?" I got the smile I love so much and an quick response
"Oh, I'm sure I can think of something"

She went to bed early. I massaged her back while she pressed into my cage with her behind. Very edgy. I asked, but said she didn't have to answer, if she knew when I would be allowed to touch it. Though probably because she was nearly asleep, she remained silent on the matter. Good girl. Keep me guessing.

I played with her hair and softly sang "Always on my Mind" Presley version, the lyrics of the first verse I had texted her half an hour before, for her to find on her phone in the morning. She sent me downstairs and told me not to break any rules. I love this woman.

Trying to think about how to broach the subject of edging and ruined orgasm. Needs a delicate touch, pun not intended but enjoyable nonetheless.

I did explain that I discovered, that not cumming was very satisfying when I was trying not to wake her when spooning. (As my penis relaxes I find my mind and body relaxing too) I said that saving myself was like having one Ferrero Roche at the weekend rather than a Mars Bar every day. I told her that when I last climaxed inside her, and it took so little effort, and just the right amount of time I hope. I could feel everything so much more, it was really intense. She agreed it was good.

The time after, Sunday morning, when we made love, she had her fill long before I did. It was less than 48 hrs after the last PIV. It took her a while to tell me she'd had enough, I think she is still holding on to some guilt if I don't cum. I must pay more attention to when she is done and stop it myself. Then reassure her that I don't have to cum, that it would be better for her if she locked me back up and waited a bit longer. It will bring us even closer I'm sure.

I think, depending on how long L wants to keep me locked up, that I would want to cum eventually, but how long should I wait? She would not want to force the issue. If I told her, I really couldn't wait any longer I expect she would let me, and probably help. But that defeats the point. How long should I be trying for now? I have gone 5 days without ejaculation so far. Sex is off the cards for at least another week anyway because of timing. Part of me thinks to wait until she can enjoy it again, which could mean 7 to 14 days maybe. It seems like a long time to me at the moment.

Oct 28, 2020
L forgot her phone this morning, and having the week off, I met her for lunch. The key has been on her dressing table in a drawer for the last three weeks. It is attached to a nappy pin. So in Sainsburys I hooked it on her bag when she was getting her sandwich. Not usually that observant, she noticed it as soon as we got back in the car. She moved it onto a hook on the inside. There it remains. I texted on the way back that I had put on the small cage after my bath.

Rubbed L's back, and after she asked how my small cage was and held my locked up junk so nicely I was writhing for about 15 minutes. I said my small cage felt very tight now and I begged for release a few times.She ignored my requests (I kinda wanted that anyway)Then she said that's enough and went to sleep. I thanked her for an amazing time, and asked if I would be allowed out tomorrow. "Maybe"

Oct 28, 2020
I asked L if I could change for a larger ring this morning. I was instructed to fetch the key and she asked if I wanted her to take it off. Yes please Mistress! She unlocked me and slowly pulled off the cage. She doesn't like the bit where I have to poke my cock inside itself to remove the ring, so I did that myself. I gave it a clean and put it back on. She put the tiny concealed lock through the device and locked me back up.
"Kiss it for me" She asks if it's clean and I say "Yes", then she kisses it and leaves, taking the key with her. I ask if she could do more of that later.
"Maybe"...Oh baby you slay me...

If I get to come later, I'm going to suggest I try not to again until after her cycle ends. That should be just over a week, which will be a good goal to reach, and an incredible feeling when we do finally get to make love again. Can't wait...well I think I can...You know what I mean.

Oct 28, 2020
Cycle just started. L is tired. We were talking while she was driving home. A first. And when she reached the shop I asked her to say something nice to me. "I don't think you are coming out tonight" "Oh baby". I was straining right away. Thank you my love. Thank you for teaching me patience.Thank you for making me the luckiest man alive.

How Sweet it is to be Loved by You

Oct 29, 2020
Had a bit of a reset this morning. L has been stressed so I wanted to take off the pressure for her to perform. To be honest I'm disappointed with myself for giving in to my animal urges. Even though she wouldn't let on I know she is disappointed in herself too. She knows I'm really trying hard to support and please her in every way. I apologised and said I would try harder. Sent lots of texts to cheer her up at work. I hope I can deserve your love.

Oct 29, 2020
I have to remind myself that this was my choice to start with. Be patient. No down time. Keep the focus on her. Keep communicating. I get a twinge of nervous excitement as I write, but maybe putting it down will help my commitment, I will try to hold out until L is ready for PIV. Edging only or ruined if it goes too far.

Not that these are terms used with Vanilla wife. I don't think she realises how much I want it or how tough what might be 10 days for me. I will need some encouragement to get through, and subtlety is key. I need to learn to hide any frustration I feel when it is the wrong time, so as not to add guilt to any stress L is feeling from other parts of normal life. The chastity should work like engine oil, unseen in the background keeping things running smoothly.

Oct 30, 2020
Texted L my plan and asked for help getting through...

It was this. My goal is now to try and last until you are ready for me. Which I know is going to be at least a week. The thought of it both excites and scares me a little. So, if I'm not being to presumptuous, I am going to need your help and encouragement.
It would be nice (and you have been doing an amazing job with this anyway) if it was allowed out once or twice and brought close to the edge, but (and this is important to me) only if it is what you want to do and I have earned it. I don't want you to feel obligated. Firmly telling me No can sometimes be as much a turn on as a kiss or a fondle.
Letting me out or having sex with you should not give me automatic right to cum. However much I want to in the moment, I will thank you for making me wait until you really want it. You have been so supportive and I feel so lucky to have you. Forever. Xxxxx

Been see the phrase "Top from the Bottom", and had to look it up. Having understood, I wanted to make sure that L knows I am handing her the reins, insert Ponyboy joke here...So sent this text.

If you feel that I'm trying to control the situation too much then I apologise. In some sense I know I am, but it is more in the spirit of trying to hand over some of the control I feel I have tried to have over the years. Making you feel guilty for not being in the mood when I am, is one of my regrets, and I am trying to redress the balance. Because I love you and you never deserved to feel that way. Xxx unconditionally yours.

We were in the car and I asked if she had read my texts. "Yeah, something about teasing you" she laughed. I asked her to read it properly, which she then started to do out loud. "Read it to yourself" I said "somethings I text you because I am too embarrassed to say it aloud"

I would like to believe, and I think the evidence backs it up, that things are going very well in the Jahrubbings household.

Yes I have access but I'm going to honour myself and if I feel weakness be open about it and get that access removed.

By saying, and writing my intentions I am honour bound to see it through.

Nov 1, 2020
L is telling or asking me if I am locked up. I was released, with a bit of gentle persuasion, then edged and denied this morning. Very happy with how I feel charged and focused on her. I asked for and got a countdown from 10 to lock up. It was amazing. Happily locked back up with a cat on my lap

Nov 5, 2020
L brought me to climax with a helping hand earlier in the week. Bit of a lull midweek, and I have needed to rein back a bit to allow for acclimatisation. I might have been overdoing the sexts.

Had a good chat at lunchtime today and we are moving in the right direction I think. I reassured her that I wanted this to be about her. To beat my porn addiction and improved focus. I said that porn was not really turning me on anymore, that only thinking of her did. She liked that. ( Anyone else experience this?) I told her my fantasy was to make her come first and then not be let out until she is ready for sex.

We talked about perhaps reading some stuff together to help us move forward in a productive way. One step at a time.
Got a text later on that was positive for tonight. No pressure. I hope she doesn't release me for a couple more days to build up a bit more tension. 4 weeks in and I just want to cum less. Quality not quantity like a good expensive bottle of Hospice de Nuit or a Cote de Beune

Cold day at work the other day. One of the fellas popped out. Moved to the 2nd largest ring. HTv4. Ossasional heat sensation but not too much. Better the longer I wear it. I think I prefer the small cage over the standard, and I'm better at sleeping in it.

All in all. I'm learning about myself more than ever. Good thing, right?

Nov 7, 2020
Making love this morning was amazing. It didn't last too long and both of us were very satisfied. I was happily locked back up. I told her quietly when we were out shopping it felt like movie sex. That made her smile.

Nov 8, 2020
I was released again for a lovely her on top fuck. I lasted longer than yesterday and felt just a good.

Was being a bit cheeky with my banter in the garden, and was poked into place with the pointy end of the broom. Asserting her dominance in a good humoured "Are you questioning me" way. Obviously I backed down gracefully in a nanosecond. Lol. I love that woman.

L doesn't like talking during sex. So rather than try to persuade her to say naughty things about my predicament to me, I ask her rhetorical questions or tell her how horny I am for her and there is nothing I can do about it etc... She has always liked when I talk dirty, at the right moment, so that seems the natural thing to do.

In time, as her confidence grows with the knowledge that she is respected, supported and loved 100% , then perhaps she may start to be more vocal. And hopefully more demanding. Careful what you wish for!

Nov 12, 2020
Not allowed tonight. L wasn't feeling it, so I will hope for tomorrow. In the morning it will be 5 days without an orgasm. My longest I think. Bit frustrated as she started to edge for a minute then was too asleep after the massage. Damn my amazing hands! Wrestling with my caveman instinct and the need to prove to her that I'm more advanced.
"HA! "That's why it's locked up dummy. Good things come to those who wait.

Nov 14, 2020
I was let out and L played with me for a few minutes. As I came close to cumming I asked her to stop, thinking to ruin it, but L carried on and a few seconds later it was all over. All over my palm that is. I was elated and mildly disappointed. It felt good going back into chastity for her. Had a great day at work thinking of her constantly. No subdrop really.

Today on the sofa L was playing with my hair. I was purring like a kitty. Felt so good.

Nov 14, 2020
Although I have touched myself inappropriately for a short time in the shower, in the last 5 1/2 weeks I have not come without my wife allowing it. I'm quite proud of both of us. Both really busy with work and kids and stuff. Life goes on.

The goal isn't to not orgasm again or very rarely, like some of the blogs I read. I just want to be in tune with L, and help her to relax. To clear her mind and discover herself a bit more. For me it is easy to enter that zone where every touch sends electricity through your body, like when you are a teenager experiencing boobs for the first time. But for her it's different and there are so many different factors before it feels right for her to relax.

I just don't want to impose when the time isn't right, for what ever reason. I don't want to cause her any feelings of guilt because of a preconceived duty of care that any loving wife can have due to upbringing and belief.

I feel my own guilt for past times, when she has let me have sex with her, and in the heat of it you try and try. Thinking somehow if you get the right angle or some such thing then she will get there. After all it is my magic cock. But then as you finish you realise that in your heart she didn't really enjoy that. Then feel inadequate. That's the trap. It has nothing to do with my performance. If she isn't feeling it, there is nothing I can do except help her relax. If she is...then I had better be ready!

The old me didn't even really know there was another option to coming.
Not Coming!
Putting it away?
Locking it up?
Saving myself for her.
Denying myself the pleasure of self gratification.
My Small HT4 has been on basically 24/7 for nearly 6 weeks with my wife slowly coming to terms with the new dynamic. She loves how attentive and helpful I am and that's probably all she'd say about the whole thing right now. :lol:

Nov 15, 2020
Early this morning L was in the mood. Caged, I licked and touched her pussy until she was quietly orgasming. Then she told me to unlock. Being inside her, pushing gently, right in, was sensational. We came pretty close together, which was really fantastic, having to push a minute longer after I came, and then she did. Washed and locked back up. Now to clean the house.

Nov 15, 2020
Went shopping. Told L that I was pleased with my progress but I now wanted to try for 7 days with one or two releases where I can be close but not allowed to cum. I would like to be able to last a couple of weeks if she is not in the mood, so that she doesn't feel pressured anymore to satisfy me.

I am easing in to it and keep talking to her about my feelings. It's bottoming from the top but the results are plain to see. We have not really had an argument since I have been caged. Not that we are in a Female Led Relationship or looking to go down that route, but she knows more clearly now that I've "got her back" when it comes to vanilla life, so disagreements are quickly resolved.

I will try to continue to rein it in and follow a pace that L is comfortable with. Remain faithful to the promise I made to myself. I do not want to go back to the old me. Masturbating on my own when everyone has gone to bed, to increasingly extreme porn just to get a fix. How silly that seems now.

I blame picture categories. Back in the days before the internet, an average lad would have a small stack of magazines. Hustler, Razzle, Men Only...and would be happy with that. Then dial up came. 30 minutes to see a picture, if the page loaded! Then Broadband!!! Picture categories. Suddenly you have a new kink you hadn't even thought about before. Clickbait. Drawn in and hopelessly lost. Chastity was one of those kinks. Now it is not about the kink it is about romance, love, lifestyle, my soulmate and wanting to please her.

Happy Sunday everyone
Happy Wifes to you all
Happy Subs (in a loose sense though who knows what tomorrow will bring)

Nov 16, 2020

J. Have you got your key?
L. Yes, I am glad you reminded me, it's in my back pocket. Best put it somewhere safe. Xxx
J. It would be so sexy if you sent me a picture of it. Pic sent.

L. Happy?
J. Very

Pic of my lock, close up no genitals sent.

J. Happy?
L. Extremely :D:love:
J. Looking forward to rubbing your feet later xxx
L. I love you xxx
J. I belong to L
L. Were you supposed to text that last one to someone else. lol
L. Perhaps a colleague who keeps hitting on you
J. I keep telling them! Lol

That's as close to a dick pic I'm gonna post, either here or to L. Genuinely aroused to see the key to my manhood on my ladyship's desk at work.

6 days to go. I wonder what may be in store for me.

Nov 17, 2020
So, in bed last night. I massaged her feet with oils, then her back, front and legs. I asked if she would like me to massage her anywhere else, and she said she was fine, so I kissed her once on her vulva and put her pj bottoms on with a kiss just before her womanhood disappeared under cotton. Then I held her legs and pushed my caged cock in to her crotch. Hands under her lower back massaging either side of the spine. She asked me to pull down, which pushed me into her. We did this rhythmically for about 5 minutes. L. "Oh that feels good"
J. "Yeah it does" (but for different reasons perhaps)
L. "You're not coming out"
J. "I know baby. Thank you"

It felt fucking amazing. Just thinking about it on the drive to work this morning has given me a rage on.

Nov 18, 2020
L was awake early worried about a missing cat (home now) and she asked if I wanted to make love. No hesitation here. She was on top and a few minutes of gentle thrusts and it was over. Managed about an hour sleep after that. I'm sure I will get the chance to try for 7 days soon, though I imagine L will want me once more before her time of the month. Her choice, we shall see.

Nov 19, 2020
L was holding my cage this morning.

J. What time is it?
L. 4 minutes to my alarm
J. Will you play with me out of my cage
L. Best get the key quick then
OMG. Three minutes later the alarm goes off. L gets up right away. I start pushing it back in the HTV4 small. When she comes out of the bathroom I just finish locking up. I toss the key on the end of the bed, and she grabs it right away. Then come round to the side of the bed and leans in. Cupping by cock-cage and kissing me on the forehead. "Good boy for putting it away" she whispers in my ear. Great start to the day.

Got sent another key picture. This one whilst she was walking around town at lunchtime

Nov 19, 2020
A few days ago, before we made love I sent L a text.
I haven't cheated (with myself) in 6 weeks, though the temptation in the shower is strong. I think you may need to carry out surprise inspections to make sure I am behaving.
I didn't get a reply, but I'm much more aware not to succumb to my carnal desires when washing and get it locked back up quick. Just in case.

When I bathed earlier this evening I left my foreskin pulled back to see how it felt. Kind of like it. Am constantly aware of it, whereas normally i feel very little when flaccid in my cage. Don't think I would be able to sleep like that. Not without practice. I guess if you are circumcised you have no option. Which do you prefer foreskin guys?
Last edited by Jahrubbings on Thu Dec 24, 2020 1:18 am, edited 6 times in total.
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Re: [JahRubbings] From the beginning of my chastity

Post by Jahrubbings »

Nov 21, 2020
Relationship progress

The other day I texted L.

J. I wish we could start dating. Will be nice to do it when this Cov19 shit is all done
L. You texting your other girlfriend again?
J. She left me when she couldn't gain access anymore
J. Lol
J. Don't lose the key! I can't have you leaving me

I brought it up earlier. Said I had been thinking about how we met and, well at the time I was a grubby hippy getting stoned in my apartment, we never really dated, we hung out. I never really wooed her in a proper manner and she deserved better. Just thinking now. How she ever took me on in the first place is a miracle. Anyway, she was very pleased with the chat. Things continue to move in the right direction. I'm obsessed for sure, but once I process all I'm reading and learning about chasity and myself it will settle into normality. I see times of normality increasingly present as the weeks go by and I become accustomed to it all physically and psychologically.

"Life is a rollercoaster just gotta ride it" wasn't that Ronan Keating?

Rollercoasters are fun because they are scary in a safe(ish) way, because they give us a thrill. Once did the Aerosmith ride 10 times in about 30 minutes. It was raining and there were no queues. What a rush

Nov 22, 2020
Got a good groping this morning, and really wanted to come out. I was denied for ages and got up. Maybe tonight I'm told. Then it's no orgasm till after her TofM. Sorted insurance and some Christmas gifts to nieces in Canada

Nov 23, 2020
Last night I plesured L with an all over body massage and a little pussy play. Then she wanted to go to sleep. No problem, but I was a bit horny and she felt I was upset. I was more frustrated really. Just going over in my head that this is what I wanted. It would have been a nice frustration if L was a bit more firm in putting me down, but I think that is something that will develop later. In the morning we had lovely PIV. Now I want not to cum till we next make love.

I am going to need to have a discussion about the mood swings (not bad or anything) associated with post-orgasm. I want her to understand the positive role she can play in bringing those drops straight back up with a few choice words.

With that in mind I thought I would track my mood daily in my journal. It will hopefully be my longest. I want to go at least 7 days, or until the TofM has past, and L is ready. Maybe up to ten days

Nov 24, 2020
Uneventful day really. Just for my own record, it was Monday morning we made love. This evening has just gone so quickly. Not frustrated, happy. Not thinking too much about sex

Nov 25, 2020
L played with me for a while this morning out of my cage with some coconut oil. It was exquisite. Then told to lock back up before it got too edgy.

Bit of a Problem with the HOD HTv4. The movement of the cage pulls apart the wedge that holds it all together. It got jammed and I had to force it back to unlock. I took it off at the end of work for a couple of hours. It was weird, I felt anxious and grumpy. Got it under hot then cold water and pushed the plastic back into shape. Got it back on, but by then we were having the biggest row in 7 weeks. Teenager not trying hard enough and was getting a grilling. I was deemed not to be supportive enough. Calmed down now, and L realised I was being supportive, in my own off tangent manner. Well I did say I am ADHD.

Frustration level is high but not because I'm locked up. I'm actually calmer now it's back on. Happiness is neutral after the tiff. I might need another J or two before bed.

In any long-term relationship you have your ups and downs. I always like to start the day afresh. Yesterday is in the past, what will today bring?

Nov 26, 2020
I had issues with the rings on the HTV2 deforming over time too, part of the reason I abandoned it. More or less the fork/receiver would spread and the tube would wiggle back and forth, leaving the lock nearly out of its place on the catch end...and it was too long for me.

Nov 26, 2020
I emailed House of Denial. To be fair to them, Mistress K offered to send me 2no. 45mm rings right away. Not sure if it solves the problem but you have to praise their customer service. I am keeping a eye on it more throughout the day. Good thing I can get privacy in my office on occasions.

L didn't sleep well and I was awoken to a bit of in cage teasing until the alarm went off. 3 days and I'm starting to get that nice feeling of being semi aroused for longer when I think about my last and next encounter. In a way the first couple of days, when getting in with day to day stuff it feels a bit lifeless, though not if L pays it some attention.

As we finished our lunchtime chat, which has become a nice regular thing, I said send me something nice. I got "I own you", I replied "I am at your command my love". It was nice. As it was when she told me I wasn't coming out this morning. I texted her when I got to work...

Day 3. You were right not to let me out this morning. Third day is when I start to really feel a difference. The slight feeling of arousal goes away quickly in the first couple of days, but by day 3 thoughts of
Intimacy with you linger that bit longer making me feel connected to you like an invisible leash. Oooooh Leash! Grrr!

Stay locked guys! You know it's for the best.
Thank you for holding our keys ladies! You always know what's best for us.

Nov 27, 2020
Just had a moment. L is from Eastern Europe, and I don't share a common language with her parents. She is video calling them. When her mum answered I could hear her dad being loud and obnoxious in the background.

So I lean in to shot and say Hi. This usual stops him. L's mum says "I am looking well"...I say "Well, I have a wonderful wife"... "what did you do bad" gets translated..."Nothing" I say... As I walk out of shot, I get a knowing look from L that could only have meant "I know why you're being so nice...It's because I now own your cock and it makes you hunger for my attention and devote yourself to me"...Alright, I may have strayed into the world of fantasy a bit there, but there was the look.

Not much difference to the feeling of yesterday. 4 1/2 days now.

Was allowed out and edged to the point where I had to squeeze it off and ruin it this morning. Then I was told to lock it back up. Yes ma'am! I eagerly put it away, locked it and gave her the key. It goes to work with her every day.

I'm starting to get some nice encouraging texts now and again. Progress is inevitably slow, but I'm fine with that.

Happier than I have ever been

Nov 28, 2020
After a bit of a massage and a bit of dry-humping from me, L let me out this morning. I said she should savour the removal, and she smiled and apologised. "No need to apologise" Then she edged me with coconut oil for few minutes, till I had to ask her to stop. Then she carried on for another minute slowly rubbing my penis in such a beautiful way then I asked her to stop again. "You had better lock it back up"

Just over 5 days now, and feeling really good. Arousal is rising nicely. Just thinking about the fact that I will break my record today, at about 1800hrs GMT, gives me a warm feeling all over. When I do finally get to make love to L it is going to be amazing. 7 days was the goal but the intention is whenever L is ready which may be longer. Even better climax in the end. I will have to go slow. Numbing cream? Don't have and never have?

Nov 29, 2020
Day 6: Not allowed out and happy about it. Frustration first thing in the morning, and after a nap in the afternoon, but once over that I'm happy. L put my hand near her crotch this evening so we may be getting closer to some enjoyment for her, though I hope to be denied a bit longer, it only seems fair, right? I will give her a nice massage and see what happens. If we make it till the morning I will have not had an orgasm for a whole week. It's not been to difficult though it has been hard at times. Pun intended. Why I'm doing it is not completely understood but 100% supported, and encouraging at the right time. I love you my wife. You are 100% perfect. I am 100% yours. Without you I am lost.

Nov 29, 2020
Got quite hot and bothered giving L a massage then as she was half asleep, thanked her for keeping me locked up until she is ready, thanked her for being perfect. I'm struggling a bit keeping my mind off sex but have to focus on the rewards.

Nov 30, 2020
Tried to ask L for a bit more psychological teasing, though she says it doesn't come naturally to her. She really wants to help, as she loves the improvements in our relationship, but doesn't really know how. I think she is still feeling that I want more physically, but I assured her that she was doing more than I enough on that side of things. It's just that if the frustration isn't fun then the game doesn't work. So I am going to make a list of things to say, which will hopefully empower her to be a bit more firm with me. It's all a learning curve. We are communicating with each other, and it gets a bit confusing at times, but we are going in the right direction.

Day 7. I have been horny, on and off all day. Difficult to focus. Keep thinking of L. Wonder how long I can last, not only in days but minutes when we make love. I want to try to go really slow, but I don't think even that's gonna help after one week. LOL Happy as a teenager in an iStore

Nov 30, 2020
After giving L a massage I was teased and eventually released for a lovely oily edging for a nice long time. Very close several times but I was told not to come, and pinched them off. Then I got a countdown from 5, 4, 3.... At 2, I said "This is dangerous!" Then she said "1. Right! Put it away" Then she watched me push my balls through the ring, fold my cock through and slide the small plastic cage over my manhood. I locked it up and put the key in the drawer.

"Thank you Mistress L"

I might have to pinch myself to check this isn't a dream.......Ouch!.....No...it's real...

Dec 1, 2020
Wasn't expecting to but had a good sleep last night. Woke 15 minutes before the alarm and was tease for a little bit. Then L got up. I struggled to calm myself for a few minutes then got on with the day. On and off bloody horny a lot today.

The very thought of you
And I forget to do
The little ordinary things
That everyone ought to do
I'm living in a kind of daydream
I'm happy as a king
And foolish though it may seem
To me, that's everything
The mere idea of you
The longing here for you
You'll never know how slow the moments go
'Til I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you
My love.

Nat King Cole

Been texting and chatting with L most of the day from work and feeling good, but the kids were being a pain and we are both a bit stressed now. Not sure if tonight's the night. No matter. Patience is a virtue right?
Now at 8 1/2 days. I did suggest earlier that she should come before I'm allowed out. Got a pause for thought, followed by a "maybe?", so perhaps she will think of herself first. TBH, putting herself first is not what L has been accustomed to so it would be good to redress the balance.

Sent a bunch more suggestions for texts and things to say, she said "you are just going to keep sending them in the hope that some sink in?" "Something like that". She seems happy for the help when we talked about it more. Got a key on desk picture, and didn't ask. Had a boner for a while after that. Hehe.

Dec 2, 2020
After massaging L to sleep and getting quite hot and bothered in the process, it took me a while to get to sleep, though it was more because of sinuses being blocked than anything else. We both woke just before 5am and I licked her pussy to orgasm before being released and making love. After 9 days of no orgasm it was blissful, truly wonderful. I love that I don't have to really work to get there. I'm having to hold back not to get there too soon. I think L likes that too.

Best unprompted text to date:
J. I adore you so much it hurts
L. Good! Let's see what other pain can I inflict xx
J. Lol
J. Sends: Whip-crack gif

So feeling great. Reset to zero. Day one in the Locked Willy House. J has just left the Diary Room

Dec 4, 2020
Slight wobble yesterday. We had a bit of an argument when eldest son was being disrespectful to me. Still over quicker than before and back on track reassuring each other at lunchtime that we both are vaguely on the same page. Or maybe different pages of the same book is a better analogy. Gave some thought to:

The importance of verbal teasing

https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...p ... ost-429620

Cast your vote and share your opinion today!

L asked me to do her toenails. Cut, file and polish. I enjoyed doing it for her with no expectations of reward. Hope yes. Anticipation yes. Pressure no. I think L might get used to this.

Be careful what you wish for!

Dec 5, 2020
We woke and had lovely her on top PIV. Lasted a good while but not too long. Then we were a but late getting out food shopping. On the way L said to me "I wouldn't have believed I could love you more, but the last...er...couple of months have been really great. So pleased about hearing this. Knowing that I am on the right track now is very reassuring, calming and slightly arousing as I think more about the future consequences of my choices, and the pleasure we can gift each other in the years to come.

This is all about the long game. A test match not a 20/20 (A Cricket analogy for those of you that didn't get that. Test matches take 5 days, a 20/20 only lasts an evening) Howzat! In or out!

Dec 5, 2020
L is out having a drink with the girls and we texted.

L. See you soon Iam getting bit tipsy xx
J. You know I put the key in your bag xxx
L. I made sure it was there
J. They would only be jealous if you told them.
L. Maybe I did xx
J. I'm so proud of what you said this morning, I'm not sure I would care if you did. Xxx
J. Let me know when to pick up. Xxx enjoy

When I dropped her off I was told to "Be good"

I love my adorable hotwife.

Dec 6, 2020
Went to pick L up from the pub last night. Texted "I'm here". "Can't find my way out" was the reply, so I had to go into the pub and find her. Trying to gauge whether her girlfriends were glancing at my crotch. Did she tell them....surely not!

L had a long drunken shower then came to bed.
L."Rub my back"
J. "Sure. Do you want me to rub coconut oil all over"
L. "At this point I think I'd let you do anything"
So I undressed her and got naked myself except for my cage and oiled her back and legs. Then she turn over and I oiled her breasts and front eventually working my way to her now moist pussy. So gently I touched her. Concentrating on her breathing. She edges really quietly so I have to focus on her totally to pick up on the peaks and dips. After several orgasms and the beautiful taste of her come dripping into my mouth, I went up top for some kissing.

L. "I guess you want to come out of your cage?"
J. "What I want isn't important. What do you want?"

My head is then gently pushed down to her pussy again, so I start by placing a finger just in her pussy. I allow her to move her hips onto my finger increasing to two then three then four fingers. All the time letting her set the depth and pace.

"Get the key"

A quick wash then...

As I enter her, she holds my hips and controls the depth and pace of my thrusts for a while then lets me take over. We fuck for a long time. I am now taking a more dominant position as I sense she needs a good pounding tonight. As we had sex only that morning it was taking me ages to come. I talked dirty to her which really gets her juices flowing at the right time. Aware that she can get to a point where she is done and I am not, I ask her if I am allowed to come.

L. "Yes"
J. "If you tell me I'm not it will suddenly make it hard for me not to"
L. "You are not allowed"

One intense orgasm later. We lie entangled in each other. I was still having little orgasms 3 minutes later when she pulled out.

As Professor Brian Cox sang in D reams classic "Things can only get better"

Life is perfect right now.

Dec 6, 2020
Had a bath this evening and thought, now I'm accustomed to wearing the device like a prosthetic, that I would try the 40mm ring for the HTV4 Small. 2 1/2 hrs later all is good. Will see if I make it through the night. I'm in the shed now and usually it gets colder and can chafe however right now it's better.

Dec 8, 2020
Monday. Lasted the night in the 40mm but it had to go in the morning. So I'm back in the 45mm.

This morning L asked if I wanted to come out, and with my morning wood I wasn't going to say no. However, after two great sessions at the weekend with orgasms, it wasn't as mindblowing. We made love for a while but she didn't stop me so I came again. Though I was slightly wanting to be stopped before I climaxed. Afterwards, I kinda got the feeling that she was doing it because she thought that's what I wanted. The day before she did mention doctors visit later this week that will make her out of bounds for a few days, and i might have to wait then. So perhaps there is some residual guilt that I want her not to feel. I guess I can take some responsibility for that having previously and regrettably pressured her and not really considered what she wanted.

Thing is, she doesn't quite understand yet, how and why I want to be denied. Not long-term but then not on my terms either. Give it time I will prove to her that I am trying to change for the better and that she comes first. In more ways than one.

Let's be honest, at nearly 50 I am still capable.of a daily ejaculation but I think once or twice a week would be better. It's a difficult one to talk about. She is looking after me too well really. Lol. Not that I'm really complaining. I have been strongly hinting that she should deny me more. I guess it will fall into place over time. Like I said to her about the verbal teasing. We have the rest of our lives

Dec 10, 2020
I have begun to view my cage in a different way. At first it was arousing to take it off and on in the shower. Now it is just something I do. It only really has an affect when I think of L and what we might get up to or things she says that work. It seems quite natural to me to be locked up until required, though I don't want to be too long denied. Maybe that will come in time. Is it inevitable? I guess time will tell.
Starting to get a nice buzz, so I want to wait till the weekend, but that's not really up to me. Vanilla she maybe, but she has needs. That's life and I'm loving every minute with you my love.
It would be good to have a long long private chat, but that's gonna have to wait till next year and we can get away for a night or two. I think we can make real progress and help her to embrace her more confident and controlling side. I have been really encouraging her to be more assertive and confident at work, which helped her to remove a stressful situation without proper training and still come out looking better than any of the others in the team. Really proud of her. By locking my dick I can be more supportive in many ways.

Dec 12, 2020
Got a bollocking yesterday and ended up in a big argument. I think I'm finishing trying to top from the bottom, but also L, despite being pissed at me, may be ready to take it a bit more seriously. We had sex when she wasn't ready and neither of us enjoyed it or came. She felt like I pushed for it. I can see how she thought that, but not at the time when dickbrain has taken over my decision making process. Now I feel like a proper wanker. And L felt used. I need to let this just play out and shut the fuck up. She was a little over the top with her criticism but not way off the mark.

Dec 13, 2020 Last edited: Dec 13, 2020
Lovely time this morning. L had me edging in my cage with very little effort. I had a lovely precum ejaculation in my cage. I asked if she would like to be touched, and was told yes. I went down on her and it took a while to get her going. Then she told me to get the key and we had lovely PIV coming close together.

I must keep my mouth shut and let things develop naturally.

Dec 15, 2020
Monday morning L got up and went downstairs first thing. Having left the key upstairs I had an unsuccessful play, giving up to guilt. When I went down, i told her that she might need to take the key away in the morning as I find this time the most tempting. I got a funny look. I let it go, and avoided sexting for the day.
This morning I was left again and although it was more enjoyable I stopped myself before it was too late. When I got up L told me that she had been up in the night. I said she should have woke me. Wrong thing to say, as she took it that I meant to wake me for sex, which I actually didn't. I got a nice text as I drove to work.
L. I love you honey
You have to stay locked for now, I will be thinking about you and how you are there only for me.
Nice! So I used the opportunity to clarify.

J. I love you too. Thank you for keeping me. I meant that I want to help you back to sleep with a cuddle not sex. I feel bad (not really bad) when I know you've been up and I haven't noticed. Xxx

J. In fact 2 days is too soon for an old man like me. Lol. Though not too soon for me to need access to the key restricted first thing in the morning. The temptation is too much, and male morning physiology makes me want to cheat. I didn't climax, but I did play with myself this morning, even though I kinda didn't want to. First time I've admitted my failings to her. I haven't cum without permission, but there has been a few close calls over the last 2 months. Not that she'd probably want to know.

J. You didn't have to touch/play with me this morning, not that I would have complained. Lol
A simple"No you aren't coming out, or I'm taking the key down with me" would be nice. I'm not thinking with my brain first thing in the morning.

I would like to ask for a bit of edging later, but I think I should keep keeping my mouth as locked and shut up as my cock. Right, back to work.
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Re: [JahRubbings] From the beginning of my chastity

Post by Jahrubbings »

17th Dec at 6:02 AM
Jah Rubbings said: previously
"I have begun to view my cage in a different way. At first it was arousing to take it off and on in the shower. Now it is just something I do. It only really has an affect when I think of L and what we might get up to or things she says that work. It seems quite natural to me to be locked up until required, though I don't want to be too long denied. Maybe that will come in time. Is it inevitable? I guess time will tell.
Starting to get a nice buzz, so I want to wait till the weekend, but that's not really up to me. Vanilla she maybe, but she has needs. That's life and I'm loving every minute with you my love.
It would be good to have a long long private chat, but that's gonna have to wait till next year and we can get away for a night or two. I think we can make real progress and help her to embrace her more confident and controlling side. I have been really encouraging her to be more assertive and confident at work, which helped her to remove a stressful situation without proper training and still come out looking better than any of the others in the team. Really proud of her. By locking my dick I can be more supportive in many ways."

I mentioned having a chat when we went away for a couple of days but this wasn't how she saw it. So again I need to play it cool. I think I will only have a chat about her needs and expectations.

17th Dec 7:34 AM
I was pretty horny in my cage this morning. No surprise there! We were both awake and I was rubbing her back. After checking the time, L decided she would like me to make love to her and removed my device.

4 day wait this time, and it was fantastic. After playing with my cock for a couple of minutes, I tried to touch her but she pushed my hand away, she was already quite moist and wanted me to get right on it. Sensitive enough that every slow and gentle thrust made me moan gently until about 5 minutes later when I came.

L stealth comes silently sometimes, and without asking her outright it is often difficult to know if she has or not. All I have to go on is the passionate embrace afterwards and perhaps not pulling out right away.

In the interests of keeping my mouth shut I am trying not to...how do I put this...project my insecurities about my performance on to her. I think she feels that I shouldn't check with her after sex that it was good for her. Maybe I read too much importance into it.

Saturday 19th December at 7:46 AM
Hoping my new devices turn up today. A nano HTV4 and a PC1 from HoT

Just switched the small for the nano tube on my HTV4. Fits nicely with no space for my flaccid dick to grow. I am curious to see how it feels in the morning. Can't wait to try out the PC1, it has a slightly narrower tube and more air holes in the sides, though it might sit too proud for day wear

Sunday 20th December at 12:32 PM
This morning I was treated to a release and a handjob. I was edging for quite a while then asked her to stop before I came. It was locked back up and saved for coming in her pussy. If I am lucky in the next day or two. Other than that it is likely to be after Christmas as she will be out of bounds. However, she might allow a ruin or two inbetween which would be lovely. Christmas decorations going up as I write.

PC1. When I got hard my bellend forced it's way out of the large slot in the top. Forcing me to take it off, after enjoying the tightness for a bit. Lol. Might have to try to adapt it somehow. Back in the HTV4 nano, which think I prefer to the small. No space when flaccid at all

21st December 6:37am
L got her period today, a couple of days early, so there will be no PIV for me for about a week. L held my cage for a short while as she went to sleep after her massage. Woke up (4 days) with a raging horn which was pulling my sack tight and a bit sore. I told her that she had a choice. Either to let me come in the next day or two. Or make me save my O for her. "Do I have to decide now?" "No, you don't even have to tell me your decision" She got up after the alarm and went straight downstairs leaving me with the key in the drawer. I unlocked, cleaned adjusted and oiled, then put it back in. The temptation to cheat was fairly strong. Locked back up, she surprised me when she came back and got the key. I got dressed and went down. Sat on the sofa watching her doing yoga from behind whilst I rolled a double which I'm just finishing in the shed with a nice cuppa tea. Happy Mondays people.
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Re: [JahRubbings] From the beginning of my chastity

Post by Jahrubbings »

So....that's the story so far up to yesterday. I hope you enjoyed my blog so far. Feel free to comment.
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Re: [JahRubbings] From the beginning of my chastity

Post by Homebody »

I enjoyed your journal. The beginning had many posts with the same date in October which I found confusing. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your wife.
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Re: [JahRubbings] From the beginning of my chastity

Post by Jahrubbings »

And a happy Tuesday for me. L released me and played with me for a short time. Knowing it will be a week, I asked and was granted permission to come, which I promptly did. Quite intense. Might put my score back to 7/3 rather than 3.1. She is too kind to me.

L was chatting to her mum and 2 drunk aunties earlier this evening. 3 lottery scratch cards were bought. Auntie K had a larger win, mum in-law small and auntie L nothing. They were joking that auntie L didn't win because she has the best husband. My L said to me after that she could help thinking that she had the best husband. Very pleased with that.

So it is a reset day today. Pleased with that too but hoping for a good denial period to get the juices flowing again over the next week
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Re: [JahRubbings] From the beginning of my chastity

Post by borbulls1961 »

Hi JahRubbings
Good to see you migrated! The Mansion crowd are more active, but it seems a quite different atmosphere not very chastity related. Here seems more hard core chastity focus.
Your blog is great. You ve got further in 3 months than me in 6! :shock:
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