[Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

A place to blog about your thoughts and experiences
DharmaProject
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2020 2:19 pm
Location: Cleveland OH
Last orgasm: September 17th, 2020
Orgasms this year: 19
Gender:

[Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

It officially started around Christmas when my wife bought me a crop to use on her. We then had a candid conversation about things and I opened up to her about my toys that I had kept hidden from her over the years. We discussed fantasies and what we would like to experience under perfect conditions. Somehow, we ended up trading spaces and I found out that I enjoyed submitting to her and being spanked with various impact toys. I’m honestly not sure how we ended up switching places as being spanked with crops, paddles, canes, etc., was never something that I thought I wanted. We’ve also experimented with her pegging me and the use of butt plugs.

Around this time, I showed her the ball weights that I’d occasionally wear. This led to her picking one out each morning for me to wear and then her removing it at night. In my search for a locking ball weight, I stumbled onto “real” chastity cages. I ordered a couple to try out and received them about a month before the quarantine started.

When the quarantine started, I told her that I’d like for her to keep the key and for me to be kept locked except when she decided to unlock me. We discussed cleaning schedules and frequency of orgasms for me. I told her that I wanted her to have total control. Over the past few months, we’ve transitioned from her leaving the key where I could access them to keeping them hidden and in a lockbox which only she knows the combination.

I’ve upgraded my cages from the cheap pinching cage from Lock the Cock to a Mature Metal Jailbird and Evotion Cage 8, both of which I had to have adjustments made. She has admitted that she’s enjoying having me locked more than she thought she would and has told me that my orgasms no longer really matter. She has also grown into a more dominating role with weekly maintenance spankings with no safe word, applying icy hot to my balls before I start tasks, and her decision on how I get to orgasm.

On April 1st, we agreed that one day would be added to the number of times I would get to orgasm and I quickly realized how evil she could be when she told me that I’d be allowed to orgasm one night with a hand job in the shower. She’s decided that I’m only allowed to orgasm inside her on special occasions and has made me consume my orgasm a few times. She’s allowed me to perform oral on her several times with no reciprocation and has permitted me to have PIV several times but not allowing me to orgasm. It has all been a very hot experience.
3 x
User avatar
Tom Allen
Site Admin
Posts: 4561
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 9:27 pm
Location: Southern New England, USA
Last orgasm: April 1st, 2018
Orgasms this year: 0
Contact:

Re: It Started with Quarantine

Post by Tom Allen »

Is this the start of a blog for you?
0 x
DharmaProject
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2020 2:19 pm
Location: Cleveland OH
Last orgasm: September 17th, 2020
Orgasms this year: 19
Gender:

Re: It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

Tom Allen wrote: Wed Jun 10, 2020 4:21 pm Is this the start of a blog for you?
Yes.
0 x
User avatar
Tom Allen
Site Admin
Posts: 4561
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 9:27 pm
Location: Southern New England, USA
Last orgasm: April 1st, 2018
Orgasms this year: 0
Contact:

Re: It Started with Quarantine

Post by Tom Allen »

Cool. Please read through the link, and carry on.

viewtopic.php?f=15&t=18227
0 x
DharmaProject
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2020 2:19 pm
Location: Cleveland OH
Last orgasm: September 17th, 2020
Orgasms this year: 19
Gender:

Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

Before I had discovered chastity cages, I was using ball weights. I’ve collected a few over the years (all froM The Chaingang) and always secretly wore them, usually on days when I was working from home. After my wife and I had a candid discussion about our kinks, I asked her to start picking one out for me to wear every day. I’d wear it to work and at the end of the day she’d unscrew the screw that held it in place and I’d take it off. This led me to my search to find something that locked around my balls which is how I started down the road of chastity devices, chastity in general, and orgasm denial.

I found a few blogs about FLR and decided that it would be hot to live a life of serving my wife. I read up on contracts and started making one and made several revisions before finally presenting it to my lovely wife. I felt that it was a great idea and the contract was tilted heavily in her favor. Basically I was giving her total control of all things. She has always been the more practical one and very quickly said that she wanted a partnership, not a servitude relationship. I tried saying that it was just improving our existing relationship and would be a positive change for us but she made a really good point - our existing relationship was already really good and I already helped out around the house. The fact is, we have a great partnership and why mess with a good thing?

So on to chastity cages. I saw the plastic CB series on one of the online sex toy retailer’s sites and while it looked cool, I was concerned about the hygiene factor and smells. I found Lock The Cock and ordered a couple cages (Undelivered Package model I think) since they were on sale - I figured I could get the sizing right and test out the comfort before presenting it to my wife. They came quickly and I quickly realized that one was too big and the other was just slightly too big. I took the one that was only slightly too big and put it in my vice to compress it so that my cock filled the entire thing. It was wearable and honestly I wore it pretty much every day for a couple of months. I ordered a second set of cages from them to try to dial in the sizing but they literally took one week shy of three months to be delivered and by that point I had received a Jailbird and Cage 8.

I presented the cage and keys to my wife. She was concerned about me not being able to have access to unlock it if I needed to and I said that I could always figure that out if needed. We settled on hanging a key in my closet with a numbered security seal so I had a key if needed. She was happy with this solution but there was part of me that wasn’t totally satisfied. For one, she kept the key on her nightstand so I could always unlock when needed. Secondly, I just didn’t feel completely locked knowing that I could unlock at any time - either with her key or by using my emergency key. I could always replace the security tag if I used it and just seeing it there was a constant reminder for me that I could get out at any time. Anyway, she agreed to hold the key and keep me locked in a cage and despite it not being completely to my satisfaction, it was close enough to start. This was around the time when quarantine started so we decided that I’d remain locked up until it was over. Neither of us thought it would go on for this long.

There were times when it was less comfortable and would pinch. I also realized that by compressing it, I made it more like a steel tube and it would start to smell after a couple of days so I’d have to remove it and clean everything. I’d soak the cage in some mouthwash or alcohol to kill any bacteria and smells. I stumbled across Denying Thumper and realized that there were other options for chastity cages available but with a higher price. Since we were in quarantine, both of us still working, and no longer eating out our finances were in a really good place. When we cancelled our planned vacations, things even looked better so I decided to measure several times, use the existing cages as a guide, and pull the trigger on a hopefully more comfortable device.

I read reviews and researched the custom cages and decided to order either a Mature Metal Jailbird or Evotion Cage 8. Both had their pros and cons. I liked that the Jailbird was open and metal but the Cage 8 was lightweight and could be ordered in different colors. I was advised by someone on Fetlife that they’d recommend the Cage 8 so I ordered it. A week later, after thinking about it more, I also ordered a Jailbird. At this point, I knew that I liked being locked up and kept by my wife and decided that I wanted to really make an attempt at making this part of my life. I justified the cost of the custom cages by promising myself that I’d wear them and that the comfort would be much better. I started counting down the days until I could expect to receive the shipping notifications.
1 x
DharmaProject
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2020 2:19 pm
Location: Cleveland OH
Last orgasm: September 17th, 2020
Orgasms this year: 19
Gender:

Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

I’m not sure the exact date of when I started wearing the chastity cage from Lock the Cock full time. I think it was March 12 or 13, 2020. I know I was wearing it on March 14th as I remember we went to see a mutual friend of ours new house and I remember having conflicting thoughts on using his bathroom.

Sitting down to pee was at first just a minor inconvenience and then became something of a constant reminder of my agreement to be submissive to my wife. Always sitting and then having to dry myself. Every damn time. My wife didn’t realize it until I mentioned it to her and she found it somewhat amusing and welcomed me to her world. There was a moment of real ness and feeling submissive when she walked in on me one night as I was standing with my pants down and drying myself with a small piece of paper. Her seeing me in that state made my mental man card become less relevant to our relationship.

There were a few other things about the cage I was using at the time that I didn’t like. For starters, I was a little concerned about the metal. I doubt it was surgical grade stainless steel. It didn’t rust but the ends around the end were pointy and would dig into my scrotum. It would pinch at times and if I wasn’t careful putting it on, it could be downright painful. I had to sit with caution to avoid discomfort.

Additionally, the quality of the workmanship wasn’t great. I’d ordered two of the same exact model and the longer of the two had a different design for the end. If that end was on the shorter one that I was wearing, I would have probably been able to pee standing up. The obvious difference in design made me wonder about the quality control standards in the factory where these were made. On a side note, I wonder what the factory workers in China think of the chastity cages that they make for us. Do they have career day in Chinese schools where the parents come and tell their child’s class what they do for a living?

Finally, both base rings had the same rough spot in them that wasn’t noticeable until the second or third day. I finally sanded both of them to avoid irritation but the fact that both had the same defect in the same area made me question the overall quality that went into the cages.

All this said, the cage allowed me to test things out before ordering a custom cage and the custom cages that I ordered are both much more comfortable. Using the cheap cages to gauge what size I needed things were sort of like comparing different fruits as there are similarities but enough things about each device that makes them unique.

I know I could have continued to wear the cheap cage and not order a custom one but I figured that if I was going to do this that I’d want to be as comfortable as possible so I bit the bullet and ordered an Evotion Cage 8 and then a Mature Metal Jailbird despite the costs of each one.
1 x
DharmaProject
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2020 2:19 pm
Location: Cleveland OH
Last orgasm: September 17th, 2020
Orgasms this year: 19
Gender:

Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

I sent a message to a fairly well know chastity blogger asking his advice on the Evotion Cage 8 vs the Mature Metal Jailbird. He recommended the Cage 8 and I was excited because I could get a choice in colors.

My experiences with both Evotion and Mature Metal have been great. Both are quick to respond to emails and answer my questions. Neither are inexpensive but the quality is great and I never feel bad about supporting a small business.

I ordered the Cage 8 with the main body and base ring in blue and the locking strap in hot pink since blue was my favorite color and hot pink was my wife’s. I felt that it was a good representation of us and this endeavor. Unfortunately I made some decisions that were not the best to make. I decided that since I was wearing a base ring that was 50 mm and that since I could place a finger and half under it that I should go slightly smaller and ordered a 48 mm base ring. When I got my cage, it was just too tight to be comfortable and my balls turned purple after only a few minutes. I contacted Evotion and ordered a new base ring and went back to waiting. Honestly I thought I had ordered One that was 50 mm but when I got the new one it was 55 mm and I found this to be perfect. I think that since the ring is wider that the extra space is absorbed. The gap was the next issue. They recommend 10 mm but I decided that 8 mm would be better. Again, poor choice on my part. I’m currently waiting on the new base ring with a 12 mm gap. I tried wearing the ring with the 8 mm gap and made it for 18 hours before having to remove it. The pain in my balls was just too much to go longer. Otherwise, I liked it. It is a very light cage and I was able to pee standing up while wearing it. One nice thing about the component part of the Cage 8 is that the individual parts can be made so adjustments can be made by just replacing one part.

Shortly after ordering a new base ring for the Cage 8 I received my Mature Metal Jailbird. The workmanship between it and the cheap metal cage that I had been wearing was obvious. I had ordered the sizing rings so I felt pretty good about my order but despite following their directions, I felt that the cage itself should be shorter. After four days, I sent it back to be shortened. I had trouble deciding if I should shorten it by 1/2 inch or 3/4 inch. I went the conservative route and only had it shortened 1/2 inch as I knew I could always send it back to have a 1/4 taken out if needed. Luckily the turnaround was only a week and the 1/2 was perfect. This is the cage I’m currently wearing and the comfort is night and day compared to the cheap metal cage I was wearing.

With the Jailbird, I ordered a double base ring and the security screw option. I also requested an extra hole for a security tag. Finally, I also ordered a brass padlock. The double ring is more comfortable than the single ring but I could live with the single ring. The security screw is nice and is a lower profile but my wife likes the ability to click the lock shut so that is what we are using. Part of me thinks that I should have saved the money and not gotten the security screw but when I start going back to the office and won’t be spending my days wearing quarantine wear, I may need to utilize the lower profile of the security screw. Finally, the extra hole could have been skipped now that I think about it. I’m never going to use it and I may end up taking a hacksaw to the post to shorten it.

I won’t deny that I went about the custom cage ordering a little over enthusiastically. I’m going to blame being quarantined and not having anywhere to go which resulted in a little too much time to order things. There may be a few other purchases that I’ve made in the past two months that I wouldn’t have made had I been going to the office every day and doing other activities but getting stuck at home for months while starting a new fetish can result in some over spending.
2 x
WifeIsVanilla
Posts: 430
Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2013 8:36 pm
Location: Central NC

Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by WifeIsVanilla »

With the extra hole in the post, maybe you can use the security screw plus let her click the lock? :D
0 x
Have worn: Curve & CB 6000s. Both broke, were repaired, broke, were repaired and then broke beyond repair.
Now mostly wearing my MM Jail Bird, occasionally alternating with my MM Watchful Mistress, Holy Trainer v3 & a second Curve.
DharmaProject
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2020 2:19 pm
Location: Cleveland OH
Last orgasm: September 17th, 2020
Orgasms this year: 19
Gender:

Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by DharmaProject »

I’ve explained my experience with chastity cages and would like to touch on the second part of our new dynamic - orgasm denial. I guess chastity and orgasm denial go together like peanut butter and jelly and when I asked my wife to keep me locked up and to deny me orgasms, she was more concerned about the denial than the cage. She asked me how often I usually had orgasms and we have a pretty healthy sex life as it is. I told her that it wasn’t uncommon for me to rub one out most mornings in the shower even on mornings following a night of sex. It was just something that felt good and if I had time and felt like it, I did it.

She agreed but I think she found it hard at first. Me wearing the cage kept me from masturbating but when we had sex, it was hard for her to tell me to stop after she had an orgasm since we’re fighting a routine that has been in place for over 20 years with us - I make her cum with oral and then we have sex and I cum or she uses her vibe while we have sex, she cums and then I cum. Simple process but now I’m asking her to tell me to stop after she cums.

On April 1st, I decided to add a formula to the denial process. Basically, starting then a day would be added between my last orgasm and my next one. Basically, The first time I came, I’d have to wait one day until I could have an opportunity to cum again, second time, two days, etc. This did not mean that I got to cum on April 1st, just that when she decided to let me cum, the counting would start. I proposed this as I thought that it would make things more interesting but did not realize that she was starting to adapt to her new dominating role.

The first time she told me I was allowed to cum was on April 3rd. We had removed the cage for cleaning and she said that I’d get to leave it off for the night because tonight was going to be my first orgasm. I was excited and thought we’d have sex but she had other plans. Since the quarantine had started, we have been taking showers together every night so the cage removal and this conversation was occurring as we were getting in the shower. While showering, I asked her what she had planned and she simply said that I could jerk off in the shower. That was it. No sex. No foreplay. No blowjob. Just her getting me hard and me jerking off in the shower. I realized then that she was growing into her new role.

We had discussed making me consume my cum as I found the idea hot. This was also part of the game we were now playing. I had brought it up around Christmas and had done it a few times - usually going down on her after we had sex. She also found it hot for me to do this and we felt that this should be made part of my responsibility when she allowed me to cum. The first time In the shower, I asked her if she wanted me to do it by catching it in my hand but she told me I couldn’t because I had brought it up. She didn’t like me trying to top from the bottom. The second and third time she allowed me to cum, she told me that I was going to eat it afterwards but she did so with some hesitation and actually gave me the option not to do it the third time but I held to my word of doing it. Honestly, it isn’t that big of a deal, especially considering how many times I’ve cum in her mouth for blowjobs, it is only fair for me to do it as well. I’ve also found that it helps with the post orgasm drop as I’m immediately doing something very submissive after achieving orgasm. This act combined with making me put the cage back on right afterwards but that is another post.

Anyway, we kept the routine where I would have to keep track of when the last time I came and when I could do so again. It was kind of like the rhythm method for orgasms. This went well until the time before she told me I was going to get to cum for the fifth time. Again, we were having this discussion as we were getting in the shower and I asked what she had in mind. When she said she was going to let me cum in the shower again I asked her for a different method as the three previous times were a blowjob to completion, sex where I pulled out and came on her back and licked it up and regular sex where I went down on her afterwards. That was a mistake on my part as by declining her offer to cum in the method she picked, I was forfeiting my opportunity. This resulted in me going eleven days between orgasms (which I know is Nothing for some of you) as I had to treat that time as an orgasm and wait six more days until I could possibly have the option to cum. Lesson learned. I have agreed to let her have all authority over my penis and orgasms and will accept her decisions.

Basically for April I was allowed to orgasm four times and for May three times. When I mentioned this to her she said we could do better and by doing better, it would mean me coming less. I’ve respectfully asked that she not allow me to cum again until I ask or beg her to allow me and she has agreed to this but said that when I do ask, she’s going to tell me to wait longer. I guess we’re no longer doing the rhythm method for my orgasms and now it is just to deny me for as long as she decides. She’s had multiple orgasms over the past few months and we’ve had sex where I’m just not allowed to cum which I find hot. Both of us agree that only her orgasms matter now and I’m seeing her come around to the idea that my orgasms really shouldn’t matter or be of her concern. She’s also decided that I only going to finish inside her on special occasions and no longer every time like we have over the past twenty something years. Again, this is another denial thing that really checks off my submissive side. She’s enjoying becoming more dominant which is the most important thing for me.
Last edited by DharmaProject on Sun Jun 14, 2020 10:38 am, edited 2 times in total.
3 x
User avatar
KittensBoyToy
Posts: 929
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2018 4:43 pm
Location: Texas Hill Country
Gender:

Re: [Dharma Project] It Started with Quarantine

Post by KittensBoyToy »

I also have a Jail Bird with the post extended for an extra hole. I bought it preowned and it came with the security screw option. M'Lady had the post extended to accept a custom lock we had made. Like your wife, she likes the ritual of snapping the lock closed but it was also done because she likes the sound of the lock clicking against the cage as I walk. Somewhere in my Journey is a picture of the cage and custom lock.
2 x
Kitten's Boy Toy
I'm Kitten's property and She keeps Her property secure in a Jail Bird!
Post Reply