[Mr Pickle] one step forwards, two steps back

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Mr Pickle
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Re: [Mr Pickle] one step forwards, two steps back

Post by Mr Pickle »

Sorry.
Loged in and wrote back. Took well over an hour. Went to post but must have logged out due to the time it took to write.
I thought oops. Back button to go back to my typed message.
Gone.
Took to long to try again sorry. Maybe another day.
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Mr Pickle
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Joined: Sat Nov 16, 2019 4:58 am
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Re: [Mr Pickle] one step forwards, two steps back

Post by Mr Pickle »

Log

It is hard in hindsite to remember exactly what is said. The teasing comes in many forms. On good days I'll get quite a few and then . Sometimes nothing for days.
You tend to want to fish for them, but that quickly becomes annoying and you risk the creepometer going off

Sometimes the teases are not meant, but hit home anyway. Everything is amplified. A word. A look. A touch.

I find praise for my wife really works well. But only subtle and infrequent. "thanks for keeping me safe and secure"

"wow that look really hot the spot"

Today I had my cage groped. And a "good boy comment"
At dinner my wife said creampie.. Oops I meant cream cake silly me"


When we do have "normal" sex, between orgasm I say what turns me on.
Wife picks up on this and eventually it becomes her idea.
Be very attentive. Listen carefully.
When she does utter what you were hoping. "Oh god your so hot when you talk like that"

I used to say. It really turns me on when you make me clean up.
So in wanting to get me there she would embellish it.
Eventually it became something said without prompting.

Amazingly. While I'm saying these things my wife reacts with stronger orgasms. The naughtiness of it is a turn on for both of us.

Eventually my wife got to quite used to this new addition.

Instead of "are you going to cum" I often get "you're going to clean your cum of my pussy or suck it of my boobs, which is it going to be" .
I do have to choose.

OK. Most people would be grossed put by this idea. Me included after I cum. But I have learned to stop just in time for the come to flow. But before I actually cum? Does this make sense?
It leaves me with a raging hard on. Horny as hell. And the only way I'm cleaning up is if I'm this horny. Although I know now that my wife would insist anyway seeing it as my own fault.

As far as my wife is concerned I have cum. I'm being locked up again.
Often ill ask if I can do more. But am told NO. don't touch it. You've had enough. I'm allowed to look at my raging cock. But that's it.

This whole process is part of the fun and takes a long long time. It can't be pushed.

I am at the moment saying " it really turns me on when you lock me up".. It makes me so horny when you tell me not to cum"
"you own my cock"

My wife wants to turn me on. She is in the throws of multiple orgasms while I'm saying this and the replies are sometimes beyond my wildest dreams.

Last night the reply to this was "I'm locking you up as soon as im done with you. Your not going to cum. Your staying locked up for a weeks and your going to make me come lots. You won't come at all.
And she carried on with this. Fueling her own orgasm until she came came again.
I was quite surprised how much she did embellish it.
Even mentioned touching herself while I watch. Desperate to touch her but denied.

Yes. Its wild. I'm quite stunned sometimes.

But mostly. Nothing happens. Life isn't about this. Life is too full of everyday things that take presidence over anything sexual.

This way is working for us at the moment. But it isn't a model to be followed. Everyone is different.

My wife knows this is all for me. She is happy as she is. Normal sex. Must play a roll.

Don't kid yourself into thinking your doing some kind of deal. She doesn't need this. She can do her own chores, wants to. She does not need countless orgasms.

Last week while I was lapping away my wife said "can you get the toy and vibe out, I'm bored, I only do this bit for you."

Ok that was a surprise considering she came like this the week before.

After her orgasm my wife said "why don't we have normal sex anyway. When is the last time we did. I've had enough of this now"

So. Say nothing in defense and back off. "you know, I was thinking exactly the same thing. I'd like to make love to you if you don't mind and snuggle up to you for a bit"

My wife is not happy about something. I'm in the firing line.

Unhappy people make bad Santa's. Don't ask for any gifts.

I did not dare mention tongue. Cage. Anything. Until my wife was in a happy mood again some 5 days later. And all I said was. "ill make breakfast in return for you allowing me a single Kiss on those smooth lips of yours"

My wife didn't answer. After a few minutes I got up and dressed and my wife said. "where are you going. I thought you wanted some kisses"
"yeah. I'll make breakfast first"
On my return my wife was ready for me. I kissed her lips, said "thank you. Now I have to get some work done"

The whole day my wife commented on the job I had left unfinished as well as many other coments such as "I have a job for you down stairs"

Everything is in code. We have kids.

So.. It isn't what is said or done. It's what we do.

I try to steer it a little bit, my wife steers it back a bit less. And so we move on.
One step forward. Two steps back.

The big difference this time around is this lock up was my wife's idea. And im not trying it on. Just enjoying what I get. I think it has been a month now. But with lots of sex and release.

The benefits are.. Not what I had expected. I read too many stupid books and stories and somehow tried to make it fit "us"

Would we be as happy without the cage?

I wouldn't. And we are a team. So We wouldn't.

And mainly for the benefits I hadn't known about.
I get erections now. Lots of them. Not chemical Induced.
Once, this just stopped happening. I enjoy them. My wife enjoys them. Even looking at is is pleasing.
I'm chuffed and excited and happy.
Happy people make good Santa's are nicer to be with. This is how my wife benefits.
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Mr Pickle
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Re: [Mr Pickle] one step forwards, two steps back

Post by Mr Pickle »

After re reading the above. I have decided to stop the chanting. Im trying to guide my wife but I realise guidence isn't needed and isn't how II (or I imagine my wife) would want it.
What works for us isn't necessarily anything I had wanted. It just became?
My wife constantly talks to me during sex, egging me on or trying to see how I respond.
Last night my wife referred to many things. Told me not to cum. Said how she would take me to the edge and stop. Again and again. And then lock me up.
All without my interference.
So let just see how it pans out. Shall we.
After all. We can actually talk openly about sex now.
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Mr Pickle
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Re: [Mr Pickle] one step forwards, two steps back

Post by Mr Pickle »

I often wonder where common terms come from.
To coin a phrase: "I feel drained today"
I'd assumed this meant drained of energy but now I wonder?
My wife decided that a double full orgasm was needed for me. Not Like pressing the reset button. More like pulling the plug out and then removing the battery.
So. I felt drained today and yesterday. Yes the energy has drained away, but not only that.
I feel drained. Not just flagging or worn out.
So maybe this has always been the reason behind the term "I feel drained" but we just don't realise it.
And for those who picked it up earlier. To "coin a phrase" comes from the old printing presses, where rows of metal keys (with the lettering and words on) were held in place by a coin at either end. Thus coining the phrase.
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Mr Pickle
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Re: [Mr Pickle] one step forwards, two steps back

Post by Mr Pickle »

There are times when my wife just isn't interested.
These are harder to get through. So I have to try to use a different approach. But I still haven't figured it out.
My wife simply does not want to get involved. Doesn't want to join in with the game in any way. It's become tiresome maybe. I'm not too sure?
I've tried to mitigate this little mine field before.
Tried to show that she needn't do anything. That a couple of words would keep me happy enough.
Rather than say "I'm not in the mood" she could say "I'm keeping you locked up". Same result, but a big difference, mentally and emotionally from my end.
I've come to realise that these little down times are more about not wanting to please. Or more about. I'm not happy with myself at the moment, so I don't see why you should be.
Some kind of emotional or hormonal bad hair day? I just don't know?
It's quite alien to me. Isn't a line of thought I understand well enough to deal with.
Maybe it just can't be dealt with?
What I have learned is its a double edged blade. Devil you do devil you don't thing. Somehow I have to be the bad guy.
So it doesn't matter what I do. It will be the wrong thing.
Doing nothing will make things worse. Doing something will cause bad harmony.
Just get on with my day? Tried that.
Help out more? Causes irritation.
Hide. Keep my head down? Just puts it off.
It's a pivotal point,(has been in the past).
So this time I offer my neck, might as well save time.
"I was thinking maybe I should I take this off now. You've had me locked up for ages and the novelty isn't what it was. Then there's no preasure. We can just keep it as an option for the future. Ok?

My wife promptly answered with" oh my god. I think you better had take it off. Its all you think about. Not everything is about sex you know". And then handed me the keys, got up and went to make breakfast for the kids.

My wife returned 5 minutes later, and very much to my surprise Locked the door.
"right. Let's get some oil on that thing and let some preasure off"

Edged. Small leak. No orgasm. Locked.

Conclusion.

Umm... I have no fucking idea what is going on or how a woman's head works.
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avid fan
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Re: [Mr Pickle] one step forwards, two steps back

Post by avid fan »

I can sympathise entirely....my wife sometimes strokes me half heartedly as shes watching something....sometimes I react, sometimes not...

What I don't think she realizes is the immense power she wields in the form of words....a few simple words, and I can be more aroused than if she took half an hour dressing up in the naughtiest lingerie ive ever bought her....
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Mr Pickle
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Re: [Mr Pickle] one step forwards, two steps back

Post by Mr Pickle »

Hi Avid fan.
Yep. It takes time I think. To change the way you think and indeed for others to do the same.
Unfortunately you can't just say "this is what I want from now on".
For many reasons. If it's too different, it's just plain Wierd. Or it might not actually be what you want, but rather what you think you want, and you might change your mind, want to add things etc.

This for me is far more complicated and "unknown" territory than I had imagined.
To begin with I was trying to mould a fantasy that sounded right based on what I had read. Honestly I don't care if I'm called a "good boy" and don't particularly like it. But it was part of the whole "this is how you become a chaste male" thing. So I introduced it. The same goes for almost everything else I have read. I actually like having sex and don't want to be treated like I'm weak?

The books always end up with me being spanked or in ladies underwear or being embarrassed. This just isn't my thing. So I wouldn't ask. But I have asked for other things which on hindsight, was a bad idea. It didn't work. Not because of my wife not playing, because of me not knowing.
It becomes too frustrating to last for both sides.

On this Third (or fourth.?) try and it's getting there. I now know what I want I can't have. So what I get I try to enjoy. Even if it wasn't anything I'd asked for. It simply fits us as a couple. It falls within both our comfort zones, and those zones are widening very slowly.

I hope now that this has become our journey rather than my own.
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Mr Pickle
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Re: [Mr Pickle] one step forwards, two steps back

Post by Mr Pickle »

avid fan wrote: Fri Dec 18, 2020 8:23 am wife sometimes strokes me half heartedly as shes watching something.
Ah!
This is something that happened to me that I found really erotic.
My wife was watching Netflix. I talked her into doing an edge. I held her arm to stop.

It blew my mind to think I was having the equivalent to multiple orgasms witout her really knowing. Also I could just enjoy it without wondering if I should be doing something in return.

My wife doesn't mind because she still gets to do what she wants.
I get aroused when my wife is reading or watching something in bed now?
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Mr Pickle
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Re: [Mr Pickle] one step forwards, two steps back

Post by Mr Pickle »

Log

A few observations recently.
Last week my wife was tired. Rather than just saying this, she said "I'm keeping you locked up. You have been very good today and it has been noted"
As a little tide me over, my wife loaned me her hitachi wand for exactly two minutes (timed) .

Another thing noticed is that my wife now uses the term "and then lock it back up much more often" rather than my asking if I should.

Also more often I'm reminded "unless it's for medical reasons, you don't need to be unlocked.

These, in my eyes are huge steps forward. My wife obviously feels more comfortable with my being locked, and having initiated this most recent bout is being much more involved.

My wife isn't stupid. She does realise this is about me and if I piss her off I am unlikley to be Locked as punishment. This is what I wanted after all.
Naughty people don't get what they want.

But after the other days offering to give it up for a while, my wife has reminded me I'm staying locked. And her main weapon would be the cold shoulder. Or total withdrawal of attention.

Probably while caged after that revolution?
No games. No attention. Just locked and ignored and miserable.
I must admit. That doesn't sound good.

So after the other days tensions. For the time being all is well. and things don't seem to be as tense.

We had a lovely cuddly film evening.
Nothing at bed time. Not even a ball squeeze.
But Again. Today the line "I'm keeping you locked up until" was used
I enquired "until when?"
The reply "until I decide to let you out, I was considering treating you to a nice supper, but if you push it you'll lose out on treats"

"ah" I replied "so if I pester you I'm locked up longer.. What kind of supper?"

"I'm not saying, and I'm certainly not going to let you know what my rules are, where's the fun in that?"


New, little changes happen often, sometimes repeated, sometimes not. Hot talk during sex is so different to this time last year it is hard to belive this is the same woman.
What I once belived to be a close to vanilla. Catholic educated woman (whom I couldn't have loved more, but yearned to make love to more) . Has evolved into a confident key holding seductress that enjoys unlocking me for her own pleasure, making me clean up my cum when it suits her and wants (desires) sex more often than I would ever have been capable of.

Fortunately the edgings and ruins allow me to keep up, and stay horny enough to do what is required.

My kneck aches from the duties sometimes, but I really can't complain about the hazards of eating pussy can I :)

So. Xmas is coming very quickly.
I am also coming very quickly.
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Mr Pickle
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Re: [Mr Pickle] one step forwards, two steps back

Post by Mr Pickle »

Log.

On Saturday.
I had jokingly suggested having the Christmas week unlocked as an part of my Xmas present.
I realised in all honesty that it wouldn't have upset me either way. It wasn't a test or play, it was just an oppertuniy for a break.

The reply was a very definate "No" and the reason "you forgot to feed the kids and didn't make breakfast last time it was off"

OK, this was true, but it wasn't due to the lack of cage, I was tired, I'd blown my full load and slept like the dead. Didn't even realise my wife had got up.

So. While out walking on Sunday
I brought up what my wife had said the evening before. If she genuinely thought I was more considerate when caged?
The answer was "not really, your very considerate, I didn't mind getting up and making breakfast, I just said that to make you feel, ya know.. Happy, excited, I suppose, it just felt like a natural answer"

So my wife doesn't see the cage as a magic device, which is good. But that my wife replies in such a way without a second thought is great.
I left it at that.

Sunday night I was told the cage was staying on, but it maybe up for discussion tomorrow.
My wife held my balls while we read. And I stroked her arm (again, a most natural thing to do without a second thought)

Good for me. I love this place.
Good for my wife, she no longer has to worry about my reaction to being let down.

The whole "Not tonight" thing is just so relaxed and comfortable and... Enjoyable. Fancy that?

My wife eventually turned away so I could stroke her back and I started reading some of my old blogs.
In one blog I was testing my steel first cage prior to bringing it to my wife's attention, and was for the first time going to wear it over night.
My words were "my wife wouldn't know, she never touches down there"
It shocked me to read this. That I could wear a metal device on my cock all night (days in fact) completely sure it wouldn't be noticed.

It makes me realise how these small steps add up. How we are now feels so normal and natural, as if it has always been.

On the odd occasion when tired out my wife might turn and sleep without touching my tackle for reassurance . This might have happened once in the last month?

So the message in this blog. If there is one?
When you stop pushing, asking, and calm down, and you start to wonder if your actually going in the right direction, If these things are just for show or if some of it is real, will real changes ever happen?

Read your old blogs.

Chances are they already have.
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