Re: [mr_faithful] Denied until menopause
Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2020 5:34 am
That's a great post @Schnoff. It really means a lot, to me, to see that you would take the time to write that. I'm impressed that you really do know what you are talking about. And you're right, I haven't been using "celibate" correctly, but it seemed to express my state the best. I'll be careful about how I use that term from now on.
When I wrote that, it was really late and I only had an hour before I had to get up for work so I cut it off too short and didn't leave a "to be continued..." like I wanted. I just submitted and went to bed for a short nap. But it felt really good to get that part out.
At that time, I realized that, just as you say, I was in a pickle. On the one hand, I had a really spicy sex life going that was a lot of fun for my wife and I. On the other hand, I had matured in my faith to the point where I understood exactly what chastity really meant, as you spelled out in your post. I was not living chastely, but I had learned to accept control over my desires. That was something I hadn't really learned to do before. I had totally eliminated porn completely, and even was able to discipline my eyes to avoid gazing at exposed breasts and skin (no small feat given fashion trends). I did have some self-control now and it gave me a peace and real happiness that I hadn't known. But would my wife have the same? There was no way to know.
Given my experience in mass in front of the Eucharist, and my conscience bothering me, I now had the fortitude, piety, and fear to do what I knew I needed to do. I had to tell my wife that we couldn't mess around anymore like we were. I wouldn't deny sex, but it had to complete with insemination. I would still wear the cage, and I would not request sex, but no more pussy-eating. Of course, I told her, I would really enjoy having sex with her and enjoying the full satisfaction of it, but we had to do it with virtue. And that is what I told her.
My wife actually took it quite well. She told me she understood even though she was disappointed. She was definitely going to be keeping the cage, lol, but things were not done there.
We still remained more intimate than you might think, but I kept my hands off the furry part. We'd still do backrubs and kissing, but we wouldn't take it any further. I can't remember if she stopped slapping my nuts right then or if we did it another time, but that quickly went away as well. I called her next period like I had been doing, and again, I was right. All of this is to say, we were really vanilla now, except for the cage.
It wasn't right after that, it was at least a couple of weeks of that, when I got a problem. A blood blister appeared on my nutsack right at the base ring of the cage. It was pretty irritating, but I resolved to stick it out like I did with most of my other irritations. This was different though, it just kept getting irritated and was distracting me. It felt like a constant pinch. So I told my wife about it. She looked at it and said to take it off for a day or two and we would see if it got better. It didn't get better.
But the amazing thing about it, was that I didn't become some uncontrolled rape animal. I could even control my erection while sleeping naked with her. At first I thought I might have broken it by keeping it locked up for this long (8 straight months at this point). A thought made worse when I would try to urinate and I couldn't get a steady stream going. It would spray more like a shower unless I stretched it out a little bit, almost like the urethra wasn't running straight or something. But then I looked hard at my wife with desire and sure enough, my erection appeared instantly. So it wasn't broken, I just had self-control aside from this inexplicable urination issue. Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable.
Still, however, the blister would not go away, and it was irritated. A week went by, then another, then another! It just wouldn't get any better and my wife and I were joking about how I was secretly re-creating it so I wouldn't have to cage back up. Then it was about a month or so when my wife said that she now believed I didn't even need the cage anymore, and on top of that, she wanted to try natural control and possible resume some sex, but maybe not. She wanted to look into it though.
Try to imagine my shock. I didn't believe her about trying natural control and resuming intercourse again, but I did believe she was serious about leaving the cage off. And I was doing quite well, but I had no trust in myself on business trips, especially to Las Vegas.
...to be continued.
When I wrote that, it was really late and I only had an hour before I had to get up for work so I cut it off too short and didn't leave a "to be continued..." like I wanted. I just submitted and went to bed for a short nap. But it felt really good to get that part out.
At that time, I realized that, just as you say, I was in a pickle. On the one hand, I had a really spicy sex life going that was a lot of fun for my wife and I. On the other hand, I had matured in my faith to the point where I understood exactly what chastity really meant, as you spelled out in your post. I was not living chastely, but I had learned to accept control over my desires. That was something I hadn't really learned to do before. I had totally eliminated porn completely, and even was able to discipline my eyes to avoid gazing at exposed breasts and skin (no small feat given fashion trends). I did have some self-control now and it gave me a peace and real happiness that I hadn't known. But would my wife have the same? There was no way to know.
Given my experience in mass in front of the Eucharist, and my conscience bothering me, I now had the fortitude, piety, and fear to do what I knew I needed to do. I had to tell my wife that we couldn't mess around anymore like we were. I wouldn't deny sex, but it had to complete with insemination. I would still wear the cage, and I would not request sex, but no more pussy-eating. Of course, I told her, I would really enjoy having sex with her and enjoying the full satisfaction of it, but we had to do it with virtue. And that is what I told her.
My wife actually took it quite well. She told me she understood even though she was disappointed. She was definitely going to be keeping the cage, lol, but things were not done there.
We still remained more intimate than you might think, but I kept my hands off the furry part. We'd still do backrubs and kissing, but we wouldn't take it any further. I can't remember if she stopped slapping my nuts right then or if we did it another time, but that quickly went away as well. I called her next period like I had been doing, and again, I was right. All of this is to say, we were really vanilla now, except for the cage.
It wasn't right after that, it was at least a couple of weeks of that, when I got a problem. A blood blister appeared on my nutsack right at the base ring of the cage. It was pretty irritating, but I resolved to stick it out like I did with most of my other irritations. This was different though, it just kept getting irritated and was distracting me. It felt like a constant pinch. So I told my wife about it. She looked at it and said to take it off for a day or two and we would see if it got better. It didn't get better.
But the amazing thing about it, was that I didn't become some uncontrolled rape animal. I could even control my erection while sleeping naked with her. At first I thought I might have broken it by keeping it locked up for this long (8 straight months at this point). A thought made worse when I would try to urinate and I couldn't get a steady stream going. It would spray more like a shower unless I stretched it out a little bit, almost like the urethra wasn't running straight or something. But then I looked hard at my wife with desire and sure enough, my erection appeared instantly. So it wasn't broken, I just had self-control aside from this inexplicable urination issue. Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable.
Still, however, the blister would not go away, and it was irritated. A week went by, then another, then another! It just wouldn't get any better and my wife and I were joking about how I was secretly re-creating it so I wouldn't have to cage back up. Then it was about a month or so when my wife said that she now believed I didn't even need the cage anymore, and on top of that, she wanted to try natural control and possible resume some sex, but maybe not. She wanted to look into it though.
Try to imagine my shock. I didn't believe her about trying natural control and resuming intercourse again, but I did believe she was serious about leaving the cage off. And I was doing quite well, but I had no trust in myself on business trips, especially to Las Vegas.
...to be continued.