[mr_faithful] Denied until menopause

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mr_faithful
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Re: [mr_faithful] Denied until menopause

Post by mr_faithful »

Thanks @cshorts and @wishful4, that's really good to hear that it will return to normal after a little while. I think what made me the most nervous, was that I couldn't seem to find much information about someone else who has experienced this, and what I did find seemed to suggest it wasn't a common thing. I definitely feel better about it. Thank you both for the reassurance.

I'm considering a way to try to work out a week or two to test the "return to normal" condition for myself, but I still worry about how easy it is for me to give in to bad thoughts. I have way too many years of wicked ways, if you know what I mean. I'm all for humbling myself, but that would be a really bad thing for me to fall that way again. It's not the masturbation that would get me, I feel pretty confident about staying strong against that. Rather, it's the ladies of temptation that I believe would defeat me.
If your hand or your foot should be your downfall, cut it off and throw it away: it is better for you to enter into life crippled or lame, than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye should be your downfall, tear it out and throw it away: it is better for you to enter into life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be thrown into the hell of fire.
I won't be cutting it off or tearing it out, but maybe a little shrinkage, even if permanent, is a small price to pay to escape eternal fire. This was on my mind in the first place when I agreed to wear a device. I had conquered masturbation, but I was defeated by the coochie, so I decided it would be best to take stronger precaution with a stainless steel barrier. I think that's probably still true. It helps me to write this down and convince myself.

Even when I removed the device to let it rest, it was only for a few hours at a time, and then it was back on at night. That seemed to be enough to let it heal. Everything is pretty much back to normal now.

I think I am going to look into a slightly smaller size for comfort. I do like the MCN Contender that I have, mostly because I can really forget about it most of the time. It's easy to keep clean and fresh. The only real downside, apart from metal detectors, is that it has become more bulky and unwieldy now that it isn't as snug of a fit as it used to be. For that reason, I think it makes sense to look at shortening it up.
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mr_faithful
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Re: [mr_faithful] Denied until menopause

Post by mr_faithful »

wishful4 wrote: Thu Oct 03, 2019 9:39 am How are you dealing with the long term denial aspect?
Actually, last week was a challenge. For some reason, over a couple days, I got aroused anytime I was around my wife. It finally occurred to me that she was probably ovulating and once I checked the chart, sure enough, she was right in the window around day 14. I was definitely picking up the biological signals she was sending out.

So it was a bit more of a struggle than it has been before. I had become so well-adjusted to celibacy, that I was a little out of practice using the same tools I had in the past, prayer and reflection on what I have done. So at first I was a little off balance and struggling against my own unruly passions.

I finally thought it through seriously, and after some time in good thoughts and reminding myself of the reasons for my penance, I was able to quiet the passions.

I asked my wife the other night "do you consider the cage the reason for my celibacy, or do you consider my celibacy as the reason for the cage?" Her response was that both were true, I am celibate and I am locked away. She asked me how I felt about that, and I told her that it makes me happy to know that she is managing that part now and I don't have to worry about it ever again. All of that is true. I am really happy to be where I am now, and I don't want to go back to those dark days and thoughts.
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cshorts
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Re: [mr_faithful] Denied until menopause

Post by cshorts »

"The only real downside, apart from metal detectors"

FWIW, I've got an MCN Contender and I've been through airport security over a dozen times now with no problem. Last week, for the first time, an alarm went off but when they sent me thru again it didn't alarm that second time so no need for explanation or inspection. I think there just isn't that much metal.
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Wearing: MCN Contender
In chastity since: 3 October 2018
mr_faithful
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Re: [mr_faithful] Denied until menopause

Post by mr_faithful »

I think you're probably right. I think the Contender is bordering on the threshold of the alarms of those detectors. I've been through one twice while wearing it. The first time I walked through a detector, it went off, but the next day it did not. Same metal detector.

That tells me it is probably just on the threshold setting.
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mr_faithful
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Re: [mr_faithful] Denied until menopause

Post by mr_faithful »

Well, things have gotten very interesting.

So about two weeks ago or so, my wife decided that she wanted to try to slap my scrotum a couple of times "just to see". I was a little stunned to say the least. She playfully swatted at it before she even said anything, so I kind of thought she was joking around. But then she said it too.

I declined the offer at that point. I just wasn't really prepared for that. I really never saw that coming. Then I started thinking pretty hard. I remembered that this situation was my own making, and that it has a penitent part aside from practical aspects and adult fun too. Somehow the idea of having a red, stinging ballsack that she squeezes really hard while she cums seemed to gain some appeal. WTF am I thinking?

I would never have guessed that we would be here now. I really never thought my wife would ever be a ball slapper. Just no way. I would have bet against it when all this started. Yet here we are.

Her pussy never got this hot for anything ever before. Now it's going thermonuclear when this comes up. Like 3 times in the last 3 days. LOL! I'm not enjoying it at all, yet I've agreed to let her have her way. When she gets the angle right it only stings, but she often misses and it crushes one of the boys against my body. That's no bueno and I have to take a little break. She says the wincing and grunting gets her going pretty good.

I've been 24/7 lockup for over 5 months now, and now I get my balls slapped on top of it. Isn't this just fucking great? I'm going to have to put a stop to it soon, the crushing blows really make me flinch, but she is having alot of fun so I'm letting it go for now. For some reason that I can't explain. Then again, I can't explain alot of the things I'm doing in my life right now, so what's one more? :shock:
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mr_faithful
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Re: [mr_faithful] Denied until menopause

Post by mr_faithful »

You might think this is pretty gross, but I think it's funny. Fair warning.

My awareness is much higher about my wife's cycle. I know the day when she will get her period, and I also can tell when she is ovulating. I can't tell you how I know, but it's a bunch of things that I put together, and I've been totally right now for 2 months.

Yesterday, I put it all together and I said "have fun getting your period tomorrow". Lol, that was probably in the top 3 of the creepiest things I have ever said to my wife. The look on her face when I said it was priceless and I got a big chuckle out of it. Sure enough, at dinner tonight, she looked at me and mouthed some bad words. I knew right then. After dinner, I let her go off to the bathroom, but then I couldn't miss rubbing it in so I followed in after a couple minutes. As she's bottomless and trying to clean everything up I tell her how it's just too bad no one warned her that was going to happen. She really appreciates how supportive I can be during these times.
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Chastityat60
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Re: [mr_faithful] Denied until menopause

Post by Chastityat60 »

mr_faithful wrote: Fri Oct 04, 2019 3:52 pm I think you're probably right. I think the Contender is bordering on the threshold of the alarms of those detectors. I've been through one twice while wearing it. The first time I walked through a detector, it went off, but the next day it did not. Same metal detector.

That tells me it is probably just on the threshold setting.
Makes me wonder if they set them at the very edge, just to help you know they are on to your wearing a device. Don't be surprised if next time through and it goes off first time but not the second, he/she says "Hey there contender"..! Lol
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mr_faithful
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Re: [mr_faithful] Denied until menopause

Post by mr_faithful »

Over 5 months since I've written any updates. I've meant to come back and write about the things that were happening to me, but it was very overwhelming at the time and it is still hard for me to explain. I don't think anyone reading this will believe me if I describe exactly what happened either. It's really too hard to believe.

I'm not even sure how to begin. At the time of my last update, things were getting pretty hot and spicy. Ball-slapping and serious long-term denial led to a very aroused wife who was eager to have sexy fun time. My conscience was still bothering me a bit, because after all, pussy-eating is a pretty questionable practice alone, then adding some caging and BDSM practice on top of it and well, you know. But I was able to cope with it for the time because compared to what I was doing a year ago, that was pretty darn good. I was moving in the right direction.

Still, it bothered me enough that I was looking for a way to clear my conscience. I was going to confession, but I could tell that the priest was really puzzled by what I was doing. Not just one priest either, but several. On the one hand, they would tell me that my wife had every right to enjoy her own sexual satisfaction, the same as I did. Which makes sense. But it had to be enjoyed in the manner which God intended, namely in the context of the procreative act, which requires insemination. She could climax before or after, but for it to be considered chaste, it can't just be satisfaction for satisfactions sake. That sounded right, but it sure didn't clear the conscience. I didn't stop though, because I didn't really have a good answer other than telling her she had to be celibate as well. You might imagine that I had some concerns about leaving her unsatisfied in that way, and how she might stray herself.

So I was sitting there in November trying to wrestle with this, I didn't want to lose what I had gained up to this point, but I didn't want to force her into the arms of another man either. You'll recall that I got into this mess by volunteering to stay celibate if she would stop using contraception. That didn't include her having to give up sex altogether as well. I felt cornered, so I did what I always did. I prayed for help.

It was very shortly after that, that I received an answer to my prayers. I now go to mass at least 3 times a week, so that includes one or two mornings during the work week. Those are my favorite due to the peace and quiet. I was at an early morning mass, on a morning after one of our hot and spicy nights. I was praying during mass, when realized that I hadn't showered, and I could still smell her on my upper lip. I shrugged it off as though it wasn't such a big deal, but I did feel bad for receiving communion without washing my face off at least. That was a bad idea.

I started feeling a pain in my lower abdomen later on, but I didn't connect it with anything. I've had diverticulitis before, and this is what it felt like. The first time I ever got it was after a really regrettable adventure with a whore and a dildo. I got an infection in my colon and when I went to the emergency room due to the unrelenting pain, they gave me a CT scan and also noticed some nodes in my lungs along with the infected colon. This was 10 years to the day that I promised I would quit smoking after the birth of my first child. Well, needless to say I quit smoking and I've never gone back. Luckily those nodes were found to be old scars and not cancerous. Unluckily, the diverticulitis has been a recurring health issue.

So I'm feeling it coming on, but it never got too bad and I was toughing it out, trying to avoid going on anti-biotics unless I really needed to. I woke up two days later and it seemed to be really mild so I decided to go to mass again. Everything was fine, right up until it was time for communion again. All of a sudden, a pain shot through my belly as though a red-hot spear was being run right through me. I broke out into a cold sweat and I could feel myself starting to pass out in the pew. I just knelt there with my head down until I could gather myself a little bit. Then I grabbed my stuff and walked out to the bathroom. I sat in there for a long while trying to recover. I got the message.
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Homebody
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Re: [mr_faithful] Denied until menopause

Post by Homebody »

I hope you are better now. What was the message you took from this experience?
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Schnoff
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Re: [mr_faithful] Denied until menopause

Post by Schnoff »

Hey there,

you are in quite the pickle. I'd like to unravel Church teachings for you a bit. Your priests should be able to corroborate, and clarify, the teachings bit. My conclusion, however, isn't in line with Church teachings at all.

> because I didn't really have a good answer other than telling her she had to be celibate as well.

Terminology first: Neither of you can be celibate, which means "not married". You could be continent, which means "not having sex", but that goes straight against Church teachings. You wouldn't be chaste if you're continent, UNLESS both of you truly want to live that way, for reasons other than "we don't want to have kids". Just living that way so you don't have kids: Not okay, by Church teachings. Allowing for the possibility of kids is the point of married sex, according to the Church.

> You might imagine that I had some concerns about leaving her unsatisfied in that way, and how she might stray herself.

Indeed. You owe her a "marital debt", that is, you need to have consensual sex with her when she reasonably requests it, and that request can be (and often is) non-verbal. This is a part of Church teachings I happen to agree with. A deeper dive might be warranted, and I'll just link you for that: https://religiousstudiesblog.blogspot.c ... n-sex.html

To be chaste, in Church terms, means to have sex in accordance with God's will, plan, however you want to phrase that. That means to be continent - not have sex - when not married, "celibate". An unmarried person is chaste when they don't have sex. That means to have sex, con-sensually, with one's spouse, in a way that can lead to conception (*). That means no contraception of any kind, and always finish with PiV and orgasm. What the Church does allow, as far as I know, is the rhythm method - because it is notoriously unreliable.

(*) Yes you may have sex after menopause - "can lead to conception" isn't bounded by that, God can always express His will. You just can't try and thwart that.

And there's your pickle. You cannot be continent (not have sex) in marriage and remain within Church teachings, if you can reasonably ascertain that your spouse wants sex. Even if they want sex, but no more children. You cannot have sex without orgasming inside your wife, or with contraception, and remain within Church teachings.

Which means you are very much squeezed between your Catholic faith, and what you know to be good for your marriage and your wife: Sex, and no more children.

My mother's grandmother, who lived in a VERY Catholic part of Germany, once lamented to my mother: "It is not right that God ("der liebe Gott") requires us to have so many children."

Something needs to give here. Your adherence to Church teachings, or your risk minimization when it comes to having more kids.

Side note: It amuses me to no end that we call our kink "chastity" when, really, it is anything but chaste by the standards of the people who came up with that word, that being the Church. Not having PiV sex and not allowing for conception when married: Not chaste. Having any kind of sex while not married, or with anyone other than one's spouse: Definitely not chaste. Having any kind of sex while married, but not married according to Church rules: Probably also not chaste. Having the "wrong kind of sex", according to Church teachings, with one's spouse: Also not chaste.

Not that we kinksters mind much, we'll still call it "chastity" and have fun with it :).


My conclusion is not friendly to the Church. I am convinced they've lost all moral authority when it comes to sex, and there are other Christian sects that are more friendly to the realities of life. I think of Episcopalians as "Catholic Lite" - half the guilt, no pope. Beyond that bit of wit, I don't know much about them or any other sect though. I'm sure you can find people to talk to in various Christian sects and see how their communities are.
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Schnoff
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Tango tangor ergo sum.
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