Re: [Devoted2Her] thoughts and musings
Posted: Wed Apr 10, 2019 5:57 pm
So we have been a bit busy since my last post and although we have had some play time this post is going to be about something more important especially to me.
I have to drive a lot around my state for work and I spend a lot of this time listening to podcasts. Recently I came across a cast called 'Loving BDSM' and although a lot of the episodes are kind of drivel I listened to one yesterday that made me want to come home and have a good talk with @IveGotTheKey .
The episode was basically the responsibilities of the sub in a D/s relationship. It made me realize that I need to really need to adjust my attitude. I read a lot of stories here where people say their significant others try, some more enthusiastically than others and that also some give up after trying.
This podcast episode made me think about the incredible amount of pressure we put on our KHs. We claim to want to be submissive and controlled but we all seem to want to tell everyone here what our KHs have done to surprise us.
I don't want @IveGotTheKey to feel like she has to 'invent' stuff to please me. I had a heart to heart with her last night and told her that I was going to step back and truly let her take the wheel. Other than affectionate kissing and such I wasn't going to instigate anything anymore. No more asking if she wants me to pleasure her, no more asking if she has plans, etc. If she wants me to do something to her she will tell me, if she wants to do something to me she will do it, if she doesn't want to do anything then that is her decision not mine.
She agreed that this would be a good thing, but if she asks me if I want something then I better have a good answer and that I shouldn't take her not wanting something personal.
I guess what I got out of the podcast is that I have to be patient. Being in a D/s relationship is as much about the mental as it is the physical, and again it was my idea, @IveGotTheKey has done very well embracing it for me, what more can I ask! I have to take care of her as much as she is taking care of me and not turn her being Domme into a chore. Now that we have reintroduced ourselves to each other a new way, I have to truly let go and let her set the pace and make the decisions after all I trust and love her with all my heart!
I have to drive a lot around my state for work and I spend a lot of this time listening to podcasts. Recently I came across a cast called 'Loving BDSM' and although a lot of the episodes are kind of drivel I listened to one yesterday that made me want to come home and have a good talk with @IveGotTheKey .
The episode was basically the responsibilities of the sub in a D/s relationship. It made me realize that I need to really need to adjust my attitude. I read a lot of stories here where people say their significant others try, some more enthusiastically than others and that also some give up after trying.
This podcast episode made me think about the incredible amount of pressure we put on our KHs. We claim to want to be submissive and controlled but we all seem to want to tell everyone here what our KHs have done to surprise us.
I don't want @IveGotTheKey to feel like she has to 'invent' stuff to please me. I had a heart to heart with her last night and told her that I was going to step back and truly let her take the wheel. Other than affectionate kissing and such I wasn't going to instigate anything anymore. No more asking if she wants me to pleasure her, no more asking if she has plans, etc. If she wants me to do something to her she will tell me, if she wants to do something to me she will do it, if she doesn't want to do anything then that is her decision not mine.
She agreed that this would be a good thing, but if she asks me if I want something then I better have a good answer and that I shouldn't take her not wanting something personal.
I guess what I got out of the podcast is that I have to be patient. Being in a D/s relationship is as much about the mental as it is the physical, and again it was my idea, @IveGotTheKey has done very well embracing it for me, what more can I ask! I have to take care of her as much as she is taking care of me and not turn her being Domme into a chore. Now that we have reintroduced ourselves to each other a new way, I have to truly let go and let her set the pace and make the decisions after all I trust and love her with all my heart!