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[Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 7:47 am
by Steve2059
This is my story over the last 18 months or so since I discovered chastity was a thing, and also the thing that I've been waiting for and the thing that ties several kinks and fetishes nicely together in one kinky package. It's also the story of my wife's journey, as She learned to stop worrying and love the power.

Since I'm starting from the beginning I'll break things up into chapters on this forum.

To start, I've always been kinkier than my wife, although most properly kinky folk would have called us both vanilla. I've always liked a bit of bum play and a bit of bondage, enjoy thongs and hosiery, and have had a thing for many years for shaving my pubes.

Over the course of thirty-odd years our sex life had grown into a comfortable and predictable experience, generally on a weekly basis, and this had been the case for many years.

Around May/June 2017, surfing around soft porn one evening, I came across edging. This interested me because it was something I thought I'd invented (though 20 mins was my max denial) and was surprised to find out it was a whole kink to itself (which says much about my naivety).

After a couple of weeks on a site called Edgemeplease I was again surfing and, looking for a JOI video, came across a chastity site, probably Male Chastity Lifestyle, and was astounded to find that people, usually men of a certain age (mine), got off on not orgasming and handing sexual power to their significant others.

Because it involved a lot of stuff that was new to me, like locking up our cocks, and extreme stuff I would never be into such as cuckolding or sissyfication, it took a little while for the idea to take hold that this might be a long-term thing I could get into. The other reason it didn't immediately appeal was that I already regularly went a week or more without orgasms, which wasn't an erotic experience at all.

Re: (Steve2059) Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 8:06 am
by Steve2059
Chapter 2

As the idea of chastity and orgasm denial took hold, one huge issue would be getting my wife on board. She seemed content with things as they were, and accepted rather than welcomed my kinks and fetishes on the rare occasions I brought them into the bedroom. She had never shown an interest in taking a sexual lead (to my disappointment) and didn't find talking about sex easy.

To begin with I shared my recent predilection with edging, which She found plain weird (which wasn't a good start). Ploughing on nevertheless I shared with her my desire for me to take a subservient role within our sex life, including being made to wear "frillies", "forced" to perform acts upon her without receiving sex in return, and that I be "forced" to give up before I orgasmed.

This went down like a lead balloon: She was desperately uncomfortable in the role and I, in turn, became very frustrated and unhappy She wasn't at least trying. We got to a point where I was "topping from the bottom", suggesting things she could command me to do and asking her to summon up imagination and strictness.

We got to the point where we pretty much stopped communicating: it was bad. Then, in a reflective mood I came to the realisation that all this pressure was my fault and that I should apologise and give up the whole thing. Sure I would really like things to develop along a chastity route, but it wasn't worth the grief I was putting us both through.

Re: [Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2019 11:50 am
by Steve2059
Chapter 3

While I was coming round to the conclusion that a chastity lifestyle wasn't going to happen to me, I was still surfing FLR and chastity websites, and came across a site called "Elise Sutton's Female Superiority Page". Ms Sutton has some weird ideas and theories about the innate superiority of women but, crucially, gives very sound advice to men trying to pursue the lifestyle. In particular, she holds that if a woman ( and I think this applies to any partner) is resisting a chastity/domination lifestyle change despite clear advantages to her, it must be the fault of the man. If this is true then it follows that the man needs to change his own behaviour rather than try to modify his wife's, and in particular he needs to buckle down to a voluntarily subservient role so that his wife can see for herself it's something that is A Good Thing.

While I might take minor issues with Ms Sutton's advice I did clearly see that I was putting intolerable pressure on my wife to take on a role with which she was uncomfortable, and that Ms S would strongly say that it was I that had to change. I thought it was worth a go.

I gave things careful thought and wrote down my eventual proposal so that my wife could peruse it at her leisure once we had talked. Our conversation began with a heartfelt apology from me, followed with an honest telling of what my needs were in terms of chastity/denial/subservience.

I then came to my plan of action, which basically was that I would act out a lifestyle as if she was compelling me, but I would, in fact, be doing it to myself. This would involve denial, edging, lingerie and challenges, but would be instantly overruled whenever she said so, for instance if he wanted sex in mid-challenge. She was happy for this to happen, but was strong in Her opinion she didn't wish to become some sort of Domme.

Putting some flesh on my proposals, I said that I had designed challenges so that they could be decided by dice, both the challenges themselves and their duration. She replied that She would be happy to throw (or tap the iPad) dice and then to keep an eye on progress. When I showed Her the challenges she was amused and intrigued that these included performing household chores naked, such as vacuuming, ironing and changing bed linen. Why, She asked, didn't I just do these permanently and save Her a lot of work, and added another suggestion of clearing away dinner naked also.

That was the last shirt she ironed.

Re: [Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 9:24 am
by Steve2059
Chapter 4

At his point my chastity was honour system - I had mentioned that chastity cages existed but She hated the very idea. I was though really having a good time. My chores consisted of ironing everything I wear plus her jeans, napkins and bed linen, vacuuming the entire house, and clearing away and cleaning the kitchen after our evening meal. All these required me to be naked, unless I was in a lacy thong she liked. At night I wore a thong plus cuffs to prevent me touching myself in my sleep.

One day we were off work together and decided on a whim to pop up to bed for a while in the afternoon. It was just for a cuddle, very pleasant nevertheless, and gave me an idea. Why, I asked, did we not make time daily for a cuddle? She was very enthusiastic - so long as I promised not to "pester". I pointed out - again! - that the way to ensure that was to order me not to. This has now been a daily event for more than a year, and it develops or not according to how She's feeling.

But by Autumn 2017 I really hankered after a cage. Despite Her opposition I sent off for a Chinese stainless steel affair and decided to surprise Her with it that night. She screamed when she accidentally touched it, throwing back the duvet. I thought She might very well order its removal there and then, but after a bit of inspection, she decided it wasn't as bad as She'd feared, so She had me keep it on overnight instead of knickers/cuffs.

It was probably the worst night's sleep I've ever had: The ring, a hinged affair, kept trapping skin, and after eventually nodding off I then awoke to an agonising stiffy that lasted an hour. I was close to calling the whole thing off. The next day I wore it for a few hours and again suffered extreme discomfort.

A bit of research - which I ought to have done before - told me I'd chosen badly. Hinges were not good while, mindful of circulation, I'd bought a cage far too big.

So cage #2 was a short Holy Trainer. This was far more comfortable but, as I wore it for more extended times, showed issues. The main one was hygiene; in particular a tendency to leak a bit of pee after I was convinced I'd gotten everything clean.

On to cage #3 then, another Chinese affair, very short but not micro, a good solid ring and banded to allow for cleaning and for skin to breathe. A year on it's so comfy It's still my cage of choice and the one I wore a couple of months ago for NOvember.

Re: [Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 3:27 pm
by CanuckInNJ
I've actually opted for hinges. I can't stand stuffing my bits through a ring that always seems too small for the job. The hinged ones now come with rubber tubing that you slide over the hinge, and the pinching problem is solved.
Could you send a link to the device that you mention as your one of choice (the one you chose for NOvember)?

Re: [Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2019 7:56 am
by Steve2059
CanuckInNJ wrote:
Wed Jan 09, 2019 3:27 pm
I've actually opted for hinges. I can't stand stuffing my bits through a ring that always seems too small for the job. The hinged ones now come with rubber tubing that you slide over the hinge, and the pinching problem is solved.
Could you send a link to the device that you mention as your one of choice (the one you chose for NOvember)?
This is my current device: ... el-hod-s77

I do agree with you about the ring-stuffing, I have to tie the base of my scrotum tightly with a shoelace to get my ring on, but once in place it's very comfortable.

Re: [Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2019 8:28 am
by Steve2059
Chapter 5

Her acceptance of my cage turned out to be a turning point in several ways. First was, by extension of this, Her acceptance of, and then support for, my chastity kink. I ought to have mentioned something earlier in the story, which was while all this was going on I was steadily losing weight through dieting, reducing from morbidly obese to mildly overweight over a year. She thought, and I think she's right, that my self-image improved due to the weight loss which led to my having the courage to bring out these sexual aspects of my character, so everything was interlinked.

She was also growing into the role of being in charge. The dice and the written challenges eventually discontinued (though she did ask for ideas for 2019 orders, which I provided) as she began to keep me locked for longer periods, from overnights to 24 and 48 hours, and eventually a record of 11 days, which stood until NOvember. She also decided she quite liked me in knickers, to the point around six months ago She removed all my male underwear from my drawers, leaving me full-time in lace panties, thongs and hosiery (this is a particular fetish and in no way a journey to cross-dressing or sissification).

But we're getting ahead of ourselves here. around Xmas 2017 I asked for challenges for 2018, and in particular some challenging T&D. First, she wanted to be assured that all my naked chores would continue, as would our daily cuddle times. As ever I reminded her that I was seriously into submission and all she needed to do was to decree that it should be so (even today she doesn't quite realise the power she has should she decide to wield it). So after discussion we decided that I would spend much more time caged, including out with friends and at work, and She would keep the key. Also, we would work towards a full orgasm-free year for me though not at any cost to her sex life. Our plan was that we would have set dates throughout the year where I could decide I'd had enough, but once a date had passed I would have to wait until the next one before "letting go". In addition I would continue to be fully shaved around the genitals and bum, with no stubble ever. Masturbation would be entirely prohibited except under supervision with, of course, no orgasms.

Re: [Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2019 9:15 am
by Steve2059
Chapter 6

2018 was the year when chastity evolved from a time-to-time kink to pretty much a lifestyle, incorporating rarely-pursued kinks, particularly underwear, body shaving and anal play (mainly receiving, She's not into ass worshipping stuff though I'd love it), within the umbrella of caged chastity. Nudity has also become a thing and I'm rarely clothed at home (though at some cost to our heating bills :lol: , which I think has partly developed through performing my various naked chores and then not bothering to get dressed.

As you can imagine I think I'm living the dream now as She has moved from deep unhappiness and scepticism to reluctant involvement to acceptance and then enthusiasm in being in charge sexually and domestically.

She was particularly pleased to find I'm good at ironing (a surprise to me as well actually) so as well as my own stuff I now do Her jeans and stuff like teatowels and napkins, as well as Her uniforms (not kinky, She's a nurse). Bedding, it turns out, was a nightmare for her, especially our Superking-sized sheets and duvet covers, so that's part of it as well, and I mention this particularly because a few months ago, Her first big initiative was that I should wear a buttplug to iron and a vibrating one for the sheets. I think it's fair to say the bed has never been changed so often.

Even more recently my chores have expanded to include naked cooking for evening meals (not difficult once one stands back a little while frying)

Our holiday this year was a month's touring in Europe, mainly Portugal and Spain: for some reason I can't fathom I stupidly decided not to take a cage, which I then sorely missed as did She. This though was rectified big time on our Autumn break: on the drive up, caged, She told me She'd decided I'd do NOvember, which began in five days. This was a surprise (and a very exciting one) since She'd decided against Locktober. I found out later in the day, on our arrival and unpacking, that NOvember had started early for me because we'd forgotten the cage key - I thought She had it and vice-versa!

Which pretty much brings us up-to-date. 2019 has started really well, with Her New Year resolution being to keep me locked except when my cock is required either for PIV sex or my new challenge of a weekly two-hour solo edge. She's also told me to strictly avoid ruins or what she calls "semigasms" this year, which will be, like 2018, orgasm free (except I was allowed one proper wank on Jan 1 to celebrate the cumless twelvemonth except again I wished afterwards I hadn't). I reckon at the moment I'm out of the cage for around 6 hours per week - She seems really serious :P

Re: [Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Posted: Wed May 15, 2019 8:18 am
by Steve2059
Chapter 7

Since my last post here, things have continued as previously described until recently. I had two occasions per week I could get my hands on my cock, one on Mondays where I had to complete a two-hour edging session, and another on Fridays where Her orders were that she would unlock me, I would go to our bedroom and get myself hard for sex, I would not be allowed into bed until She arrived (when She felt like it) so I had to stand at the foot of our bed until then.

For some reason a month or so ago, She decided I would be free at weekends, though chaste via honour, then back in after Monday's edge. Since I'm strictly not allowed to comment or question on lockings or unlockings, I don't know why.

I mentioned previously that we both agree that the lifestyle has aided my weight loss, and vice-versa, but with a stone or so to go to target things have plateaued and even reversed (though I'm nothing like the size I was).

So nine days ago She unveiled Her plan to solve this. My edging sessions and all touching are cancelled until I regain my lightest weight thus far.; also no more uncaging. Nine days in and I'm nine pounds away from that. Once I reach that weight She wants me to lose a further Stone. Every pound I lose will be rewarded with five minutes of supervised edging, which I can save up if I want. I still keep Her satisfied on demand while caged, but if She wants PIV, only She can touch and I will re-cage straight after She's satisfied.

I may have created a monster.

Re: [Steve2059] Incredible (to me anyway) Journey

Posted: Tue Feb 25, 2020 6:10 am
by Steve2059
Chapter 8

Good Grief! I cannot believe I haven't updated this since last May. I'm astonished but not completely surprised because a lot has happened in my chaste life, including some self-doubts and struggles, though this update points to the fact that things are settling down. I need to say that all the angst is totally down to me: She has been brilliant and supportive throughout.

My journey up until Chapter 7 had been all about finding out about myself and my kinks, making order out of them and becoming comfortable with them, but also about broaching this with my wife and plotting ways though her own difficulties with what I was basically asking of her. The ups and downs are related below, but by-and-large it's been positive and progressive in many, many ways.

The first big setback came about in tying my weight-loss goals to chastity and denial. Up until then I had absolutely owned every progression in "outing" my kinks and had met every challenge, including giving up voluntary orgasms entirely and making being caged pretty much my default state.

I thought me and my kinky willpower were invincible, and incorporating slimming would, in effect, kill two birds with one stone. Couldn't have been more wrong. My weight stubbornly refused to go down, I got frustrated and my cage became a prison - but in a bad way. I got frustrated and depressed over my plateauing weight. The problem was that the frustration and stress spilled over from my "normal" life into my sex and kink life. Because I can be obsessive about stuff I became obsessive about this and it had a really negative impact. I think that this was because chastity was somewhere I could retreat from the stress and worries of the real world, but I had inadvertently tied these aspects together. Fortunately, my rather excellent wife saw this more clearly than I and persuaded me to move on and break the connection between dieting and my kinks (actually, she just plain ordered it in the end, which shows how far she's come herself).

By the time I'd sorted all this out it was late summer. I was happy and sexually dominated again, caged 80% of the time, naked at home, and again enjoying more (orgasm-free) sex than since my teens. My chores meant the house was immaculate and everything was fine. Interestingly, I also lost some weight (for info I've been a bit overweight with a BMI of around 27 for a couple of years, following decades of morbid obesity. The obsession I just described was about shedding those hard, last few BMI points).

Being that time of year we began discussing 2019 Locktober. I'd actually done 35 days of NOvember in 2018 and She was, with me, up for going for the record. We duly locked up at the end of September, and She had very exciting notions of adding NOvember to Locktober and even going until Xmas or the New Year.

Tragically, this was undone by, of all things, the advent of winter weather. My balls have always ridden quite high, which means that when caging, I have to tie them off with a shoelace to get them through the ring. I found that cold weather made them contract even more, very painfully as they tried to drag the cage ring with them up into my body. I was coping with the assistance of moisturiser and baby oil, but then, only a few days shy of my record, small blood blisters started appearing on my scrotum.

When I caught one of these with my razor and bled rather profusely for a few minutes, She put her foot down (though TBF She had a point - I do get that maiming myself is too high a price for completing a self-imposed challenge) and the cage came off.

As I write this I've been uncaged for over three months!

But as they say, as one door closes another door opens. I still had the rest of my kinks and fetishes and remained orgasm-free (I qualify this by admitting She was ordering ruins perhaps twice a month which part of me still regards as cheating). I was also doing more regular edging, again on orders.

In January we were talking about the length of time I'd gone uncaged, and the amount of time I was spending with my hand around my cock, and She reminded me of how things had been before the cages. Back then we'd been doing the honour system, with nights spent in tights (which she called Chastity Tights) and hands secured out of reach. At this time, because She was uncomfortable with domming and initiating, I'd devised a system where dice, rather than She, decided activities, duration and intensity - all She had to do was throw the dice which She loved from the get-go.

She fancied returning to that, and tasked me with drawing up a chart of 11 varied challenges (decided by two dice). These run from painted toenails to not touching genitals at all to bondage tasks and being made to refuse her offers of wanks. She can decide whenever She wants to initiate a challenge (including running two or more at once). Because I'm naked at home She noticed that when, for instance, watching TV, my hands would unconsciously fondle my genitals, so She's put me in Chastity Tights or Panties 24/7 to stop this.

Which brings me up to date. I'm currently undergoing a no-feeling-myself-at-all challenge, the end of which I'm not allowed to know (I'm nine days in but know that the maximum time it can possibly be is 19 days, with the odds being that termination will be sometime sooner). But, a further role-play challenge starts this evening in which She offers a range of sex activities which I must refuse convincingly while offering to pleasure Her. If she feels I'm not refusing properly, 3-day penalties are added to the 16 days the dice decided.

With the weather getting warmer She's hinting that recaging will be in my near future, "to help me cope with the denial".