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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:54 am
by cshorts
17 November

Sure enough, we had hot morning sex. Everything seemed very comfortable, and our excitement level was high. SL came multiple times from my mouth and penetrating fingers, then pulled me up to enter her with my penis (missionary is her favorite poistion). We had a rollicking good time, with at least two more orgasms for her. When she seemed worn out and I had edged two or three times, I gently pulled out and cuddled in her arms. No orgasm for me. It felt wonderful to be alert and still horny during afterglow, much different and better than the deflation and loss of interest after a big O. I'm hoping that she saw we can enjoy our regular sex without anything "weird", with only the small change that I stop with a smile on my face but not a climax.

Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 1:18 am
by cshorts
18 November

I talked with SL about chastity a bit tonight, mostly to point out that if she wants our sex can be very much Iike it usually is, as it was yesterday morning. Everything was as usual: our fun but at this point quite routine sex. The only difference is that I didn't come at the end (voluntarily -- she is not controlling my orgasms -- yet?). We talked briefly about whether and how that mattered to her -- missing something psychologically? Any physical sensation associated with my coming? It was a fine conversation, but a bit stilted and brief. SL didn't initiate any topics or ask any questions -- and I don't think she has for about three days now. When I came to bed I climbed in naked and she saw my device, but didn't say anything.

Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 2:12 am
by cshorts
19 November

Today was tense. Through the day I kept thinking that SL hasn't seemed interested in moving the conversation forward for a few days, and about the fact that she has seemed mildly unhappy or depressed these past few days. I kept reminding myself to be patient -- that I thought about this for a number of weeks before broaching the topic to her, and I need to give her a chance to get used to it. That with time she'll see that this can be quite vanilla for her, and hopefully she'll feel less scared (repulsed?). But those thoughts about patience and understanding kept getting interrupted by unkind thoughts.

I came home early, specifically to have some time with her before I cooked dinner. She asked why I was home early, so I told her because I wanted to spend time with her. We had a pleasant enough chat about our days. Nothing came up about our sex life or chastity. We watched TV during dinner and I kept thinking that after the show I would kneel in front of her and ask to remove her pants and go down on her. But the show was a bit of a downer, so I wasn't sure the timing was good. Then she asked me to spend 15 minutes on a house project and I asked if it needed to be done tonight (because I had other things to do and would have more time tomorrow). That upset her quite a bit - she lit into me for being so busy all the time, and her feeling that I expected her to be a servant and take care of everything related to our renovation project. The rest of the evening I was on eggshells. When I came to bed she barely acknowledged me. When she turned out her light she leaned over to give me a quick peck and a desultory "good night" -- quite a contrast to the passionate, extended kisses I've been initiating one or more times a day for the past few weeks. Generally I feel sad, lonely, and distant from her.

Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 5:25 pm
by cshorts
20 November

I was nervous all day about how things would be when I got home from work. The night before had been difficult, and as a result, I hadn’t slept well, waking up multiple times with sad thoughts about the difficulty we seemed to be having connecting. During the morning rise and shine routine I felt that the atmosphere continued chilly, with just a distant “good morning” and then “have a good day”. No cuddles or kiss, no warm smiles.

Things seemed okay when I got home. SL said she’d had a good day and seemed in a good mood, and I wasn’t too tense and tried not to bring down the mood. We said brief hellos and then I had to head to my piano lesson, but realized when I got there I’d forgotten that it was cancelled for Thanksgiving week. So I turned around, picked up our Tuesday pizza (because of my piano lesson at 6.30p I don’t have time to cook on Tuesdays) and got home an hour early. We engaged warmly and settled down to eat our pizza while watching an episode of “This is Us”. After the show, SL asked if we could talk more about chastity. She asked what I would get out of it if she simply let me out for our regular Sunday sex and locked me back up afterwards — why would that be any different than just doing the chastity myself (why did I need her involved). I told her honestly that I wasn’t sure, since we hadn’t tried it yet. But that I thought it would be more exciting, and meaningful to me if it was her decision, not mine. That during the week, when I held the key, I *could* unlock and masturbate (though I haven’t yet, since starting this on 3 Oct), and it would be stimulating if I didn’t have control over that option. That even if she unlocked me for our regular sex on Sunday mornings, that didn’t mean I necessarily got to have an orgasm: we could have sex the way we always do, but she could tell me not to come, and I would experience the teasing and denial that I crave, and be subject to her wishes.

She responded simply: “OK. Let’s do it.” She didn’t seem enthusiastic, but not grudging either. (I made the mistake of saying “are you sure” — which seemed like the right courtesy — “you’re not just saying this because you think you have to?”, but I should have respected her more and just accepted her statement. She didn’t get particularly annoyed, phew.) I thanked her, gave her a kiss, and then we went on with the evening normally (I didn’t want to make this into too big a deal, because I think she wants it to be not a big deal, at least for now.)

Before bed, I gave her one of the keys, and I sealed the emergency key in a signed and dated envelope and put it in her dresser. A bit later, when she was ready for sleep, she let me go down on her for one quick orgasm, and we cuddled as we went to sleep.

BIG STEP FORWARD! We’ll have to see how things develop: I don’t know if she’s going to be willing to impose much orgasm denial (at the moment it seems that she thinks she *wants* to experience my orgasm each time we have sex) or otherwise engage with the chastity more than the minimal amount, but I’m thrilled that she has agreed to take this step, and I’m going to be patient. I hope that she finds, as many key holders seem to, that she can enjoy the experience and that controlling — and denying — my orgasms really does lead to improved communication, intimacy and heightened excitement and pleasure for us.

Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2018 1:56 am
by cshorts
22 Nov - Thanksgiving

I feel increasingly optimistic, not just that we're going to weather last week's crisis (and everything deeper that was behind it), but that we're moving to a better place.

We're arrived at a B&B last night (visiting our son for Thanksgiving). During the travel, SL told me that she very much likes the increase in cuddling since I entered chastity (going back to before she really knew about it).

This morning during a lovely private breakfast (we're the only guests) she told me something funny she recognized about herself in the middle of the blow-up last week (she yelled at me to not interrupt her at one point, and said today she almost burst out laughing because she realized as she was yelling it that she had interrupted every single sentence I had tried to say during the blow-up). It was great to see her able to laugh today about it, and to share that moment.

We came up to our room for her to shower. I said I wanted to "prepare" her for the shower -- she knew immediately what I meant. She didn't want me to go down on her (messy from period, which I never mind, but also yeast medicine). But she invited me to finger her. She quickly shivered to multiple orgasms (she really is remarkable. She usually has her first orgasm in less than a minute of stimulation, and then can bang them out in rapid succession -- I'm in awe, and envious!) she got in the shower with a big smile on her face, and I was smiling too. It is liberating to be able to give her a quickie with no presumption, no stress, no wondering if I expect reciprocation.

She also grabbed at my crotch and fondled me some while I was fingering her - the very first time she's reached out and played with the cage.

I have much to be thankful for today.

Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2018 7:01 pm
by cshorts
24 November

Tomorrow morning is our first regular Sunday sex session since SL became my keyholder. I'm very excited --and a bit nervous. Don't know what to expect. Biggest question pressing on me is whether she will tell me to have an orgasm, or deny me. I hope the latter -- at least in part because it will be the first time. But I will do as she wishes -- she is now in charge of my orgasms.

Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 2:52 am
by cshorts
25 November

Sunday morning sex: fun, loving, passionate. SL left me in my cage initially, but got the key out so I expected to be released. After talking, cuddling, me reading an erotic story out loud with more cuddling, and several orgasms (and one ejaculation) for her (my fingers, her vibrator, my tongue and penetrating fingers, combinations of the above), she released me and guided me inside her. She told me she wanted me to orgasm today. I drew it out a bit — I was enjoying the intercourse so much it was more about extending the pleasure than about teasing myself (though the difference is subtle!). After a couple of more orgasms (and one more ejaculation) for her in different positions, we ramped things up again…and I abruptly lost control 🙂 Had my first orgasm in 28 days, and it was a doozy. I was a bit sad when SL first told me she wanted me to have an orgasm today — I am hoping that she will engage in some tease & denial and reduce my orgasms to less than weekly (our regular frequency of sex). But in the event — it was quite wonderful (of course!), and I so far haven’t experienced any noticeable letdown.

Wondering if my constantly heightened state of awareness of and attention to SL will simmer down for a while until the denial builds up again: I’ve really enjoyed that feeling of being in a state of renewed courtship. I hope I can keep it up with little or no break after this release.

Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 7:43 pm
by cshorts
[with this post, I've caught up to real time.]

1 Dec

I'm on day 2.5 of an 8 day trip. SL sent me off caged but with the emergency key (in a sealed and signed on the flap edge envelope). I'm fully back to high state of constant arousal, fully recovered from O 6 days ago (so much so that I'm reading erotica on my phone while riding the subway around Berlin).

Just had a lovely, loving long call with SL. It was Sat. morning for her so she was sitting in bed enjoying her coffee while we talked. After catching up and enjoying a long conversation, I asked her if I could read her a story. That's usually how we've had phone sex when traveling: I read her an derotic story and we mutually (and noisily) masturbate. She agreed and got her Hitachi. I had brought a prostate vibe with me on the trip so I lubed up, slipped it in and turned it on then started reading. After a bit SL got noisier and noisier until she came loudly. I was so worked up...and frustrated in a delicious way. After, I turned off the vibe but left it in while we talked some more. I clenched my butt rhythmically now and then and worked my legends, and pre-cum started pouring out. Don't think I exactly had a complete milking, but it was the "leakiest" I've ever experienced! And of course, I'm still completely horny, and completely grateful to SL for noisily sharing her fun with me over the phone, which was a terrific tease (and denial).

Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 8:12 am
by cshorts
After two and a half weeks of drama and emotional rollercoaster that followed my letter asking to be in chastity, I left on an 8-day business trip. I'm on my 18 hour trip back home now, and very worked up. Mostly positive energy: things have been good since Thanksgiving, and we had lovely phone calls every day of my trip (including two phone sex -- for her! -- episodes). It's "only" even 12 days since my last orgasm, but I've been on edge for days, thinking constantly about my sweetie and looking forward to showering her in love and affection. I'm actually hoping she won't unlock me for a while yet (or at least won't let me orgasm)...but mostly I'm hoping for lots of physical contact and the opportunity to pleasure her.

Fingers crossed!

Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 7:54 am
by cshorts
Ah, my love. We had a warm reunion when I returned. Lots of hugging and kissing. Since I entered chastity we hug and kiss so much more than we have in years: it's like we are in the early days of our courtship again.

I was horny as all getout of course. I was hoping she would deny me ha orgasm, but that we would get it on -- at least my serving her pleasure with my tongue -- right away. But she denied me that :) I don't think as a conscious tease, she just wasn't feeling as needy as I (after all she'd been having regular O's during our phone calls while I'd been away).

After I made her dinner and we enjoyed an hour of TV together, we went up to bed early (I'm severely jet lagged). We read for a while. I then turned out my light and turned toward her. Often what happens then is I jokingly nag her to stop reading and cuddle with me with while we fall asleep -- it's become a sort of game. Tonight she smiled before I could say anything and said she was sorry but she had 10 pages left in the chapter and wanted to finish. I asked if she wanted her feet rubbed while she was reading. She looked surprised (I rub her neck and scalp almost every day, but almost never her feet -- something to add to the repertoire ;), then smiled sweetly and said sure. I slid beneath the covers (it was a bit chilly so didn't want to uncover her -- we sleep naked) and gave her a slow, gentle rub. (Feet are different -- I'm going to need to work on my technique.) Finished by giving each of her ten toes a long, sensuous suck with licks -- she was purring. She finished her chapter shortly after I started on the toes but let me finish lol.

I slid up next to her and we kissed deeply. Then she turned out her light and rolled away from me into our falling asleep spooning position. I was surprised -- I had been sure that she would want to fool around before sleep (or at least would know how much I wanted to and would indulge me). After a moment of spooning, wrapped tightly around her from behind, I sweetly said that reading to get her off while I was traveling had been a lot of fun, but that I'd really like to pleasure her a bit more directly. She giggled a bit nervously -- a sound she makes when she's not sure whether she wants to accept an advance from me -- then said "sure" (in a kind voice, not grudgingly). I slid my hand between her legs and started slowly rubbing and applying light pressure to her folds, avoiding much direct stimulation at first. She was already quite wet, and started inviting my hand in by slowly opening her legs. Then I slid down again, this time between her legs, and made love to her with my tongue and lips, and after her first couple of orgasms, joining my tongue with two fingers inside, stroking her g-spot. Another couple of orgasms (as I've said before, she is remarkably responsive -- it amazes me she doesn't want to have sex all the time when she comes so easily and repeatedly!) and she indicated she was done and I should come up to cuddle again.

Back into spooning position, a few kisses and mutual squirms against each other, the she settled down to sleep.

I was anything but settled! I was so turned on and feeling desperate. My locked cock was trying its best to get hard, and was twitching constantly -- I shifted my hips to create a small gap between us so I didn't annoy her with all the movement! And I was delighted -- everything I hoped for. Hot, stimulating lovemaking ... and complete denial. She accepted my ministrations without playing with me at all, and not even a hint of considering unlocking me. She just accepted the pleasure I offered, and didn't show any sign that she felt an obligation to reciprocate. Exactly what I wanted. Except, of course, in that lovely conflict of feelings that is so intense in locked chastity, I simultaneously wanted so much more!

Took at least 15 minutes before I calmed down enough to even contemplate being able to fall asleep, during which I enjoyed listening to her breathing deepen as she drifted off in my arms.

I love my wife / SL / KH.

PS: At one point earlier in the evening i mentioned how much I wanted her. She laughed and said "Remember, I'm the keyholder!" That was one of the few times she had made explicit reference to my chastity and her role, with which she is not yet fully comfortable (to say the least). It sent a thrilling tingle down my spine to hear her spontaneously -- and teasingly -- embrace and remind me of our new dynamic.