[cshorts] My (our) journey

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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

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Uncaged for surprise afternoon sex romp with PIV (I came home early from work). SL told me she wanted me to orgasm (so like a good boy, I did!).

Days since last orgasm (new record for me since SL became my KH): 24 days
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

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Had my first prostate milking yesterday, somewhat unintentionally and unexpectedly. I was wearing a butt plug during an hour of T&D, but just sitting in there -- not vibration, no playing with it. Afterwards, while sitting side by side in bed cuddling and chatting, my wanna-be erection started to deflate (I was caged, so almost all of the blood and pressure were in the root behind the cage), and suddenly a gush of pre-cum poured out...this was not leaking! My right thigh was covered -- I've never seen so much prostatic fluid. Felt pleasant (sort of like the release of peeing), but nothing I'd call an anal orgasm -- indeed, was coming down, not feeling especially stimulated at the moment.

I've tried a couple of times to give myself a milking with a vibrating butt plug, unsuccessfully. This plug was not stimulating my prostate nearly as much (at least in the sense of pleasurable, OMG stimulation), so I didn't expect anything to happen. Live and learn.
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

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Very special Valentine's.

Off-site meeting ended early, came home early. Took an hour nap next to sweetie. We cuddled and kissed after, but then she abruptly pulled away, she said she wanted to tease me. "Apparently that's what you like."

Dinner at a gourmet Peruvian restaurant. Presents at home after. Then sweetie told me to come upstairs. After she stopped in the bathroom, she peremptorily told me she wanted a foot rub. I've been giving her two or three a week since we started chastity, but always when I offered: this was the first time she ordered me. Be still my heart! She mentioned she'd started reading the section on tease & denial in Lucy Fairbourne's book, and it had given her some ideas. I walked over to her side of the bed, pulling on a white merino t-shirt to wear while rubbing. "Oh no, none of that. Shirt off. Undies off too." When I was naked before her she pulled me over and unscrewed my cage.

After a long, luxurious foot rub, she told me it was time to move on. We started making out. I pulled her on top of me while we were kissing, but she abruptly rolled us so I was on top, spread her legs, pushed he up and said "Penis inside. Now." Then proceeded to drag her sharp nails down my sides. When she had me squirming and moaning, she grabbed my nipple barbells and started twisting them as viciously as she ever has. I was writhing and squealing, while trying to continue angling my cock against he g-spot and rubbing it.

With my targeted thrusts and her new (V-day present) Eroscillator, she erupted in two consecutive, noisy Os. Then she began tormenting my nipples again, knowing that almost always is guaranteed to send me over the edge while I'm inside her. About to lose control, I paused. "Keep going", she instructed. I thought that meant she wanted me to come, but she didn't say so explicitly, so I started thrusting against her g-spot again, but concentrating like heck to not explode unless and until she told me too.

After her next orgasm, she pushed me out. Still roaring horny, I slid down and brought her off again with my tongue and two fingers inside. Then she rolled away from me, clearly signaling she was done. I cuddled with her, humping against her thigh and whimpering. She laughed and said I'd had my chance -- she did want me to come earlier when she was tormenting my nipples. "But that's okay. We're done now."

She's lying by my side now, gently sleeping. I'm too wound up to sleep, so here I lie, deeply in love, horny as all get out, writing in my journal.
Last edited by cshorts on Sun Mar 31, 2019 6:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

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The past couple of weeks I’ve been relatively quiet on the forum. Likewise our sex life. I’ve been in the middle of a very exciting, high stress, publicly visible project at work. Many evenings I’ve been working after dinner until 11, and even when not working until sleep time I’ve been exhausted. That and the orgasm a week ago followed by the usual drop, and I haven’t been lavishing my SL with attention and service the way I have since starting chastity in October. She said she missed it, but understood. We also both remarked that we feel a bit distant, with so little time together, not much cuddling or cooing (and no foot rubs!).

I don’t know how much things are going to settle down, but I carved out at least a temporary respite this weekend. Got back from a business trip around 6pm Saturday and spent the evening with SL. Had our usual Sunday AM 2 hours in bed, this time following my serving her breakfast in bed with a long foot rub while she watched a porn flick … and used her wand to get off three times. That was a treat for me, though bit distracting from the business of soothing her tired feet! Then I joined her for more play, but she left me caged so it was tongue and inserted fingers until she asked me to insert one of her vibrating dildos. After a bit tongue was replaced by wand, and with the two vibrating toys assisted by my fingers and nibbles on her nips she had a “spectacular” (her word) and louder than even her usual loud O, followed by exhausted collapse. After time to calm the breathing and more kissing and cuddling, she tormented my nipples until *I* was louder than usual — not quite screaming but definitely yelping loudly enough for passersby to hear. After a strong nipgasm (same peak and release type of feeling but centered in my nipples and mind, no release for my cock) we collapsed together for more cuddling. About 10 minutes later, as I started to come down from the excitement and the frustration of denial, my prostate let loose, bathing my balls and thighs with more pre-cum than I think I’ve ever released before. Got up for my regular Sunday Skype with a remote shut-in friend, but it was only 10 minutes this week because he had family arriving. Headed back to bed to spend a couple of more hours reading and lazing next to SL. My caged+Viagra'd cock keep periodically straining at its confinement, and my balls are aching (doesn't happen often at my age), but all I get today is the sweet torment of denial.

Wonderful to have quality time together again, and to minister to her body. I love bringing her pleasure.
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

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Life did start to settle down a bit this week. Still pretty busy, but at least got reasonable sleep the second half of the week, and started to feel more sexual and emotionally open again. Gave SL a couple of long foot rubs, planned a lovely Friday date night, went down on her a couple of evenings during the week. Great to re-connect again.

In anticipate of our regular Sunday morning play time, I mentioned to her Friday night that, though it was of course entirely up to her to decide my orgasms, if she wanted to know my preference this week I’d rather hold off longer. I was just starting to feel like I’d recovered from post-orgasm drop, two weeks since my last (the drop so extended due to work stress and lack of sleep), and would like to keep the feeling going. Later I reminded her, since she really likes PIV and has indicated that doing without is a sacrifice (even with g-spot enhanced orgasms using fingers, vibrators, NJoy, etc.), that denying me an orgasm does *not* mean she has to deny herself PIV — she just has to tell me not to cum and let me withdraw as needed.

This morning I rose early as is customary, to shower and prepare her breakfast in bed. After breakfast, I offered a massage or footrub to get things started — she happily jumped on the offer of a footrub. I had planned ahead a bit: put my sleeping blindfold on her, then my wireless headphones, and cued up an erotic story on audio that I thought she would enjoy…I chose one 30 minutes long to get a reasonable time for the footrub. Plugged in her Magic Wand and set it by her hand. I then settled in to the pleasant activity. It was a bit odd sitting at her feet, at the end of the bed, massaging them while she was lost inside her head — I couldn’t hear what she heard (though I’d pre-listened to the story) nor see her eyes. But I drifted into my own headspace, intently focused on the muscles, tendons, ligaments and bones in her feet. A couple of times I slid down onto my back so that my big toe could gently massage her clit at the same time — though I found trying to make delicate, targeted movements with my toe at one end of my body, and with my hands, massaging her feet at the other, was a challenging multitask.

About halfway through the footrub she put down her finished coffee and picked up the Magic Wand, and wow! She brought herself off once, rested a bit, then again, still sitting up against her pillows. A few minutes or relaxation later, she slid down onto her back, spread her thighs wide, and went at it again. Massaging her feet while she was getting worked up and orgasming was a bit different: her feet tensed up and toes curled, resisting my massage! All of which was VERY exciting and fun for me. She brought herself to two more increasingly noisy and energetic orgasms in this position, as I finished up the footrub (admittedly, spending a bit less time on the second foot than the first — this was just getting too exciting).

She had gotten the security key before we settled in, so I was hopeful I’d at least be getting some hand or mouth teasing without the cage, perhaps PIV. But first, after I put away the foot cream, I knelt between her legs to go down on her. She immediately said she instead wanted my hand inside her while she used the wand again, so I moved up a bit to kneel between her thighs for the best hand access, and used my mouth to lick and nibble her breast instead. This time, using my thumb to deeply massage her Kegel muscle (she *loves* that) and the deep roots of her clit (g spot) while she wanded the head of her clit, she *really* exploded. Wow. As she sank into the bed in post-orgasmic haze, I lay down on her, nuzzling against her breast (even after all these years I worry I might crush her, but she really likes this cuddling position).

After a few minutes of heavy breathing, gradually slowing, I smiled and asked if she was done, or just getting started? “I”m done, sweetie, thank you.” It was wonderful to see her so satiated and happy….but….but. Her tease and denial was to let me watch her having an hour of repeated and increasingly exuberant orgasms, rubbing her feet and pussy, kissing her and cuddling her, and…then nothing for me? Jeepers!

After another few minutes I rolled off and cuddled up alongside her. My caged dick rubbed a bit against her thigh, which got me wound up again, so *I* grabbed the Magic Wand and started using it against the cage. Wow — first time I’ve done that. As excited as I already was, it immediately got me supercharged, and I could only go for about 30 seconds before I had to stop or cum. I’ve never come inside my cage before — didn’t know if I could. I definitely can! But she hadn’t told me to (and I *had* said I wanted denial this weekend) so I backed off. But then, having learned how effective this was, I edged three more times. SL was smiling and even laughing a bit watching me struggle with the mix of pleasure and frustration. The fourth time she grabbed the wand as I got near, turned it off and set it down away from me. “Are you taking charge?” “Yes, and I don’t know if I can trust you!”

What a fabulous, fun, frustrating, wonderful morning.
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

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[22 March, but finished writing 23 March - some confusion in tenses.]

Kids arriving tonight for the weekend. After dinner I was practicing the piano when SL came in and said "I have 35 minutes" (before cake came out of oven; I had a bit more before I had to go to the airport to pick up kids). Meaningful look. I hustled upstairs to the bedroom, stripped off and hopped in with her.

The past week I've been feeling a bit down that she hasn't done much teasing in a couple of weeks. Sex has been all her, only her. That's mostly ok, most of the time (and is a form of teasing too, of course), but, for the first time I remember since starting chastity I was feeling a bit sexually selfish.

Tonight she started right in teasing me. Played with my cock through the cage, making it swell up. Gave me a blowjob thru the cage. Tweaked my nipples (though I had to ask her to be more gentle than usual - "if you wish" - because they are still somewhat sore from gauging up from 10 ga to 8 ga earlier this week). What a sweetie.

Then we got serious about her. She got very worked up and was nearly screaming as she peaked. I smiled after and she remarked, "figured since the kids weren't here yet I might as well make the most of it!"

I asked if she minded if I edged with her wand; permission granted. I very quickly got dangerously close, and backed off for several moments. This is only the second time I've applied the wand to my cage -- I find it surprising and puzzling that i am capable of orgasm when my cock is so constrained and as a result I'm not erect. I re-applied the wand after settling a bit and again quickly approached the peak. Removed it again, but ooops! A few seconds after removing the wand, i released.

It felt like an orgasm, but not. Substantial fluid, much more than when my prostate has emptied before. The physical excitement receded quickly, like it does after a regular orgasm. The sensation was more like spurting than dribbling, though not as much so as with a regular orgasm. And I felt guilty, which doesn't happen with a prostate release. But when I cleaned up there seemed to be little or no sperm -- mostly clear. And there were at least 3-4 seconds between stopping all stimulation and the release. So...my first ruined orgasm?

My wife didn't notice, but as I had neared the peak she's said "you'll be in so much trouble if you cum." A key part of my commitment to chastity with her is to be more open about my sexual thoughts and feelings. So after lying there cuddling a minute or two I told her what happened. Her reaction was very confusing to me. She seemed quite hurt, and when I got her to say something, it was clear she was confused and troubled. I'm still not sure quite what was bothering her - she couldn't articulate it well. Seemed something like: she was supporting my kinky desire to be in chastity, which isn't her first choice, but I'd gone and found a way around the orgasm control I'd aske her to take from me. I tried to make it clear it was an accident -- I was edging but didn't want to orgasm. And I tried to explain what a ruined orgasm is --she'd not heard of that before. (She'd read Lucy Fairbourne's book, _Male Chastity_, but I checked later and Fairbourne doesn't talk about ruined o's.)

Her unhappiness brought me right down, and I was worried and sad for the next couple of hours (thru the airport run and going to bed. She seemed fine when she came to bed -- cheerful, smiling, and cuddly, so I felt relief. But I now want to find her a good description of ruined orgasms, and maybe more important to stop self-edging (masturbating) even in her presence (I haven't masturbated at all, not once, since I went into the cage 24x7 six months ago) unless she instructs me to do so.

Further evidence that this was a ruined, not regular O: I found my cock straining to get hard again as we lay naked next to each other at bedtime, and again this morning as I write this. At my age and with some mild erectile dysfunction, that is somewhat unusual if I'd had a regular orgasm. And I've been thinking constantly about my SL / wife / KH since, rather than feeling post-orgasm drop and my thoughts turning more inward and selfish. (Indeed, as I was lying beside her at bedtime I started planning ahead to give her a deluxe foot massage the next night at bedtime ...was too exhausted right then, but had the strong urge to serve.)
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

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Wonderful play today. She's embracing chastity more and more -- slow but steady. Accepting my offers to pamper her without hesitation (started today with a full body massage), teasing me without hinting where things are going. Today after the massage she let me get her going with extended oral, *then*, when I wondered if she was done, took off the cage (a bit difficult given how swollen I was!) for some vigorous PIV, but then pulled off and went for her extended screaming climax with her wand and my fingers inside....leaving me hanging. After some time cuddling and catching our breath I asked if she was done, with a hopeful note in my voice, and she just smiled knowingly and nodded yes.
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

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Today we had the opportunity for a longer-than-usual — in fact, unbounded — Sunday morning playtime. For several years I’ve had an 11am scheduled Skype call with my best friend, who’s a shut-in (severe chronic fatigue syndrome, fully disabled), living in my previous state. So always had to be done by then. We’ve rescheduled calls to Saturday, so no deadline anymore 🙂

Today I got up earlier than SL, per usual, to shower and shave for her. Then made breakfast: stone-ground oats (prepared earlier, waiting in the fridge) with flax seed, orange marmalade, pecans, blueberries and a few raspberries, mixed with almond milk. Her coffee with half-and-half. We had a nice breakfast in bed, listening to a playlist of romantic tunes Spotify picked for me.

I asked if she wanted a footrub — gee, did her face light up! (It’s been another rough week for me at work, late nights, and so I didn’t give her any foot rubs during the week). I got out the lotion and pumice and set forth on one of my leisurely hour-long rubs. About halfway through I started nuzzling her clit with my big toe to warm her up a bit. She slid down in bed a bit from her sitting position to savor my toe rubbing her (while I rubbed her toes!).

Then, as I started on her second foot, she asked me to turn on a porn video for me on the iPad — and a Maxalt — a migraine had come on. I asked if she wanted to stop, but she shook her head no. After a few minutes of watching she reached for her Eroscillator and started getting down to business. I had a fabulous front row seat, sitting at the end of the bed, continuing to massage her right foot.

It got a bit harder to continue the footrub because she bent her leg in towards her body and tensed the leg and foot as she got worked up. I leaned forward and continued my task, while she enjoyed her first two O’s. After a short pause, she switched to “Big Bob” — her Hitachi Magic Wand. Things were getting serious! As usual, that brought her rather quickly to a shuddering, noisy climax. She set the toys down and sprawled back against her pillows as I continued on her foot.

After I finished I asked if she’d like my lips against her pussy. “No, I’d like you to use this” — handing me the Eroscillator — “while I use this” — grabbing Bob. I really enjoy being the “inside man”, though it’s much easier to know where I am and which part of her g-spot (internal branches of her clitoris) I’m playing with when I use my fingers than with a toy. But the Eroscillator is pretty spot specific, and she loves the buzz, and when she loves it, I love it 🙂 The combination of the two vibrators sent her into a writhing, loud orgasm, and this time she totally collapsed, staying focused only long enough to let the toys drop to the floor.

She told me that as good as that had been, her head hurt a lot, and she was done. She apologized for not giving me any attention. I’ll admit, I was disappointed. I had not expected to be released from the cage — she hadn’t brought the key in from its hiding place — but I was looking forward to some T along with the D. Of course, spending all of that time massaging her feet, while getting to watch my own personal live sex show in front of me, *had* been quite a tease: my cock was pushing through the bars of the cage, and both it and my balls were swollen and deep red, almost purple. I lay there cuddling with her feeling a tiny bit sorry for myself, but mostly delighted that she was able to have such a good time despite the headache.

Days since last regular orgasm (3 March, corrected): 28 days, still counting. (NB: had a ruin on 22 March)
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

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This morning we had a fun, loving play session. As is standard for our weekend morning playtimes, I got up earlier than she to shower for her, then made her breakfast in bed. I offered a massage or footrub -- her back has been sore from her first day of serious gardening of the season, so she accepted a massage, but uncaged me first. After the massage, we cuddled and kissed for a bit, then she started teasing me. She went down on me, twisted and tortured my nipples and teased my cock with her hands, in various combinations. After a bit of pause, she grabbed her Magic Wand and spread her legs for me to enter her, but I wanted to tease *her* a bit and prolong things, so used my fingers inside her while she used the wand. I know her hot spots and the type of touching that sends her pretty well, so it wasn't long before she had a powerful, loud orgasm.

After some recovery time, cuddling, I went down on her, slowly and gently, as she was still savoring the afterglow of her big O. A few minutes of that and she began to squirm and moan again -- I stopped before bringing her off to tease her, and to introduce my cock. I asked, jokingly, if she still wanted it; she responded, with a laugh, "we'll see" ... she loves PIV. This time I set a slow, tender rhythm to make it easier to focus my cock on particular spots, or at particular angles that I know she best enjoys. She brought her wand back into the mix, and things accelerated to another loud climax for her. Perhaps just in time -- I had been well under control, but was starting to approach the edge. She hadn't told me to come, so I didn't want to lose control.
I lay on top of her, inside her, while we cooed and kissed. Now and then I would move my hips a bit, sliding in or out slowly, or making a series of mini-thrusts with my tip just inside her entrance (one of her most favorite moves). But slow and calm -- I was hot and bothered, but didn't want to get back to the edge unless she said that's what she wanted: I sensed she was done and that his was just afterplay. Sure enough, after several minutes of rubbing together like this, I sensed she was ready to separate, so I rolled off and curled up with her.

------

That was all wonderful: exciting, teasing, frustrating in that great way that orgasm control can be. But then things went to a difficult place.

Sunday evening my wife / KH (whom I refer to as SL) initiative a T&D session on the sofa in our TV room. Afterwards she curled up in my arms and said in a passionate, loving tone, "I love you so much." Since this came after she had me squirming and crying out, and then had left me hanging, I smiled back and said "so, I guess you're liking having me in chastity?" She sort of froze up, said "Don't ask me that. You've known me for 27 years and you should know you shouldn't try to get me to talk about things like that." Which, sadly, is mostly (not entirely) true. And it had been getting worse: over the recent few years I felt less and less comfortable talking to her about sex, my fantasies or wants, largely because she never wanted to talk about hers, and seemed uncomfortable even when I talked about me. Starting chastity had been a stab and changing this dynamic -- a commitment on my part that I was not going to continue down the path of burying my sexual self, and trying to find some common ground for us through a kink that appealed to my submissive side while permitting her to proceed almost 100% vanilla.

And it's been working well, for the most part, after a rocky start. Things have progressed slowly, but I've recognized that patience is crucial, and have tried to let things develop at her pace, not mine. (Though, see below.) I have become more attentive and giving, and have enjoyed that. She has initiated some T&D, and has become comfortable denying me orgasms (for example, currently it's been 33 days since my last regular O, though there was an accidental ruin in the middle of this period). But...we haven't been talking much. That's okay: "patience!" Though some days it's been harder on me because when patience is expressed by avoiding talking about what we're doing, feeling, thinking in our sexual / chastity activity, that feels an awful like like the self-repression that was approaching a crisis for us, and that I am trying to reverse. But, patience.
I'd been waiting for a time to let her know that it was upsetting to me when she shut me down on Monday, saying I shouldn't try to get her to talk about my chastity (or, really, about sex). Talking about her not wanting to talk is not, of course, going to be easy or fun, so I hadn't found the right moment yet...but there is no perfect moment. So I decided to bring it up while we were cuddling together in afterglow.

Didn't go very well. She seemed resentful -- and understandably, since as I said, I was trying to talk about her not wanting to talk -- what's wrong with me? But she also revealed some of the underlying fear and concern, and what I heard made me pretty unhappy. "You're always pushing boundaries. You're never satisfied. If I say I like chastity, what's next? Are you going to try to bring a third person into our bed?" (I've told her that *her* taking a lover is a fantasy of mine, but that I assume it will never happen, and I've never urged her to do so.) Then she went a bit further, "If I say I like chastity, when I originally said I didn't want to do it, will you just say to me 'see, you came around, so let's try something else you think you don't want to do and see what happens.'"
Well, hmmm. I *do* hope that she'll enjoy my chastity, that she'll like having me at least a bit submissive, and that finding she likes that, that she will be willing to explore other things. My thinking (after many years together with zero progress on growing our relationship in a more exploratory direction -- in fact, she's less experimental than when we first got together) is that this has to come from her: that all I should do is tend to her pleasure and comfort (emotional as well as physical), and let her discover for herself that exploring a bit isn't so scary and can be fun.

But her walls built against this -- that she immediately goes from my asking whether she likes me in chastity to fearing that I'm going to push her outside her comfort zone -- is discouraging.

And she had an example to show me that I'm not being as patient as I'd like to think, and that I do push her, if in small ways. Tuesday morning (or so), she woke me up by going on my caged cock. Very unusual (and fun!). After teasing me like that, she said "I was lying here thinking you might enjoy that, and then I thought, 'so why not?', and instead of just thinking about it I did it." Well, at least two or three times since, this week, I've offered to pleasure her and when she declined I said with a twinkle in my eye: "Remember, 'why not?' You'll enjoy it, we have the time, so why not?" She threw that back at me this morning, sounding annoyed if not angry, saying that I was pushing her. And I see what she means.. rather than letting her figure out the "why not?" herself, I was trying to steer her to change her behavior. So, B- on my patience project for this week.

-----

I'm struggling a bit with the chastity journey at the moment. I generally am more patient than many people I know, and I understand why that's crucial here. But I'm also frustrated that we're not making more progress -- even in just talking about sex -- after 6 months. Then I see guys in the forums say things like "we've been doing chastity for seven years, just last year she started to really change," and I realize I may have to recalibrate my sense of what patience means. But jeepers...sometimes it feels like we're going to be stuck in this sub-optimal equilibrium forever.
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Re: [cshorts] My (our) journey

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A very satisfying week in our sexual journey.

We had our regular weekend morning sex on Saturday a week ago because I was flying out Sunday morning. Then, from the hotel Sunday night, my SL accepted my offer of reading an erotic story to her while she used her wand. We've done that not infrequently when I'm traveling g, but now, locked up, it was exquisitely different for me, not being able to stroke myself off while listening to my sweetie have multiple orgasms.

Then Monday night she again let me read to her while she wanded off -- making it her third day in a row for sex! That's pretty unusual for her, unless we go back 15 years or more. What fun!

I was hoping the my homecoming Tuesday night would be cause enough for in-person romantic play, bringing her off for an unprecedented fourth night in a row. But I didn't get home until past midnight, so other than a sleepy hello there was no romance. Then Weds and Thursday I had to work past midnight both nights, so again no playtime.

But Friday she surprised me by telling me she wanted a foot rub (to date, her foot rubs 2-3 times a week happen when I offer), and after that was done telling me to go down on her. It was such a turn-on to have her tell me what she wanted without my asking, and for her to feel comfortable in taking her own pleasure while I was idly locked.

And then tonight, Saturday: when I came to bed she was reading. I kissed her and asked if she wanted me to help her get to sleep -- one of our euphemisms for me going down on her. 'I'm reading now," she replied. Not "no thanks"! So I told her to tell me when she was ready and settled to my own reading. A while later, after she'd yawned several times, I said "Shouldn't you be going to sleep?" She replied, "aren't you supposed to be going down on me?" Mirabile dictu! Assertive two nights in a row! And wanting sex a second night in a row -- fifth time this week -- even though once she wakes is our regular Sunday playtime. I was sure she would turn down my offer.

I don't know that SL has ever had sex this many times in a week, much less be so matter of fact and assertive about her wants. Feels like a real breakthrough for her. And great fun for me. No teasing - or even any touching -- for me (except for the tease of helping her come so many times while caged), and that's been just fine.
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