[CanuckInNJ] Forcing her Hand

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[CanuckInNJ] Forcing her Hand

Post by CanuckInNJ »

I realised lately that chastity would remain nothing but a distant fantasy unless I did something pretty drastic.

So I kind of forced her hand.

I know, I know. Give her time. Don't bombard her with links or shower her with doe-eyed affection. I get it. But I've been talking about it for well over fifteen years, and she has remained resolutely unmoved. She has adamantly refused to even look at the devices or read any links I sent her, simply repeating her fears about health and safety and saying it was weird.

But on the other hand, I did notice she had started asking more frequently lately if I was wearing it, and sometimes groping me to see if it was there, and doing so with a smile.

She was tolerating my kink, which was a step ahead of where we were until a year or two ago. So much so, in fact, that she didn't mind the Timer Safe, where I kept the keys when locked up, remaining prominently visible in the bedroom.

But there wasn't much more progress than that, so I acted.

Last Wednesday I told her I was setting the timer safe to its maximum (ten days), and putting both keys in, unless she wanted one for emergencies.

[Eyeroll] "Dammit," she said. "Why are you doing this? Give it to me, then. But this is weird. Why do you have to do this?"

I gave her the key a few minutes later.

"Now, this is just for emergencies," I reminded her.

"No," she said firmly. "It's for when I want you."

This might be the start of something, or it might not.

More as this tale unfolds.
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Re: Forcing her Hand

Post by DeltaGeorge »

Looks like you may be at a turning point in your journey. Ya know. :D
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Re: Forcing her Hand

Post by CanuckInNJ »

So, on Sunday she forgets the key (bedlam in the house), and we're already a long way away from home when we realise that the outdoor activity adventure I've volunteered to do with the kids and their friends involves a very tight harness around the nether regions that gets tightened and attached by the activity staff (it's a high ropes course). I've paid in advance, so there's no backing out of this.

"Oh, God," she whispers. "What if they see? What if you fall? What'll they say in the ER?"

Such faith in me.

Worse still, by the time the harness has been tightened, my caged privates are sticking out like a fat codpiece, and the staff are giving me strange looks, but hell, I'm sure they've seen worse. Thankfully, there's another dad there too, and he's been similarly strapped in. I steal a look. Wow is he well endowed. Or the harness is accentuating him to the extent that he now looks capable of pleasuring an elephant. If he looks like that, I can hardly look much worse. My cage is mostly unobtrusive, and even with the harness strapped tightly into place on both sides of my crotch, the bars of the cage don't seem very visible. I think.

Interestingly, my wife is eyeing the package with what might be a smile.

The course takes 90 minutes. After ten minutes I've forgetten the cage and am working hard not to lose my balance on all sorts of slippery, wobbly, army boot-camp-type forest-canopy surfaces. I'm pleasantly surprised to discover that the cage is so comfortable that I've mostly forgotten it.

Things end with a long flight on a zip line. My wife meets me with a kiss at the end. "You did well." No mention of the cage. Hmm.
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Re: Forcing her Hand

Post by Schnoff »

> Why are you doing this?

She's asking it in an exasperated, "you shouldn't be doing this" way. And - you could treat this as an opening. "Got an hour? I'd love to tell you why."

Tell her how you feel when you wear it. How you feel about her, and about yourself. What this does for you, in a positive way.

Her job is to hear that and not judge you. It may be good to agree on that little ground rule beforehand :).

And then it's her turn. How does she feel? About herself, and you, and your relationship?

And your job is to hear that and not judge. No "yeah but"s. Just hear what she has to say.

I'll make up a short dialogue.

"Like, it feels weird"
"Okay, it feels weird. How so?"
"I don't know. Who does that?!?"
"So ... am I hearing you right that you're saying you're uncomfortable because this would make us unusual?"

You see the direction here? And when she says "I want to have access to your dick" then, okay, that's legit. And may actually feed into your kink. She gets access whenever she wants. As long as you can't access whenever you want. That about right?
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Re: Forcing her Hand

Post by CanuckInNJ »

That same night, after the kids go to bed, she tells me she's unlocking me that night, and gives me the key. "I want you tonight, and I want you unlocked." I unlock, making sure to leave the padlock open, and give her back the key, which she pockets without a word, but with a smile.

We are talking in the bed, and she starts asking questions about the device and why I want to wear it. "I'm beginning to think that you actually WANT to be denied."

"Yes. I think I do." I'm surprised that this hasn't occurred to her before, and chastened to realise that I haven't been communicating as I should.

"Hm. Do you want to be denied tonight?"

"I'd like to leave that choice to you. I want to be denied because I do like the pleasure of it. But I want to come because it makes you happy. And I do like an orgasm too!"

"Hmm. Well I want to stroke you for a bit. Then we'll see."

So she strokes me gently for a few minutes until my cock looks and feels like one of those unfeasible ones in the pornographic manga comics. It's so stiff and hopeful that it looks like a third member of the conversation. My queen continues asking more questions, particularly about why I don't just masturbate. I answer her as openly as possible. I could, and most men do. I guess I feel like I'm cheating when I masturbate. Then I ask can I stroke her (oral is out, as she's still at the end of her period).

"Yes," she says.

And she is WET, while she's still talking about denying me. There is something going on here.
Then, well, she climbs on top, and things go INSANE.

We have the wildest sex we've had in months or years, and both eventually fall asleep in each other's arms.

What a night!

By the middle of the night I have a raging erection again, but I just lie there luxuriating in it. In the morning it's back to work for us all. I'm working from home for the summer, but my queen has to get to work early and the kids need to be delivered to different schools.

When the house is quiet again, I consider developments before I take the old bones out for a long run (6.5 miles!). I'm still unlocked; might as well use the freedom to get a good run in.
And then back to work, but I can't stop thinking about my beautiful queen, and I retire to the bedroom. I spend twenty minutes jilling on the bed like a love-hungry teenage girl, before deciding that enough is enough. I have to get some work done. So it's back into the cage. It's an amazing feeling to shut the padlock knowing that the only keys are in a timer safe and in my wife's back pocket.

All day I have been having the most amazing micro-orgasms in my device, and I can't get my amazing wife out of my mind.

Arrived back home tonight, and she smiled knowingly at me several times before she left for her softball game, giving me several chores to do while she's gone. I do them all with a smile.
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Re: [CanuckInNJ] Forcing her Hand

Post by CanuckInNJ »

Milady returns from her ball game and we drink a beer together before going to bed. It's at this point she startles me.
"Where did you put the key for your contraption? The one I gave you to unlock yourself last night."
"I gave it back to you."
"No you didn't."
"Really, I did. I came straight downstairs after I unlocked and put it into the palm of your hand. Don't you remember?"
"Not at all."
"Look through your pockets."
She looks through her pockets, and can't find it.
"Well," she says. "We're not going to be having sex until your timer thing is done, then." (the other key is in a timer safe set for ten days)
She sounds disappointed and a little angry, but I'm interested to note that this doesn't seem to be a dreadful emergency for her.
I take her shorts and go through the pockets, and there is the key behind a seam, which she takes immediately. But she asks:
"Don't you want to take the contraption off so you can hump me during the night?"
I remind her we've agreed that the key is only for sex and emergencies, and she smiles.
As we snuggle into bed, she starts questioning me again about it.
"You know that this is the limit of what I can tolerate. Tell me you don't have any other little secrets."
"I swear, this is about it. You know I've been talking about it for years."
"Yes you have, haven't you?"
And then more questions about masturbation. She's very interested in that. How often did I masturbate? Was I a typical male? Do all males masturbate as often as I did? I must just have a higher sex drive than most.
She says she doesn't like the feel of it next to her, so places a pillow between us, but I think this is artificial squeamishness.
And it's off to sleep with us. She's asleep in three minutes; I'm lying there with a wonderful caged erection, which feels just heavenly when I squeeze. And I too drift off.
I've gone 72 hours in chastity before (while she was visiting family) but I have never had a raging erection like the one I had this morning. My penis wanted to push the whole thing off, balls and all, and managed to push the device upwards, which I thought was pretty amazing. But it wasn't coming off.
I'm only beginning to see the significance of this exchange today. SHE WANTED THE KEY BACK. SHE DIDN'T WANT ME TO HAVE IT.
Of course, maybe I'm reading too much into things. She's VERY safety minded, and maybe just wants to be sure where the second key is in case of emergency. But we live in hope!
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Re: [CanuckInNJ] Forcing her Hand

Post by CanuckInNJ »

A setback.
Yesterday she swore she was going to let me out tonight for sex. I told her it was up to her.
I'm now two days and one night in the cage, and she seems pretty cool with it. Tonight we go out with friends and have a great night socializing.
When we return home it's after eleven, and we're both pretty tired. But she still wants to follow through with her promise, so she tells me to unlock. The key turns out to be in the top drawer of her nightstand (right where I knew she would put it!), and I tell her I'll throw it into the street if I see it again!
I honestly don't think she wants to have sex, but that she feels obliged, and I'm a little worried about that. She asks me if I really want to have sex with her, since she's still spotting from her period. I tell her that I am ready for her day and night, and that I will have sex with her whenever she wants, and if she's game, I'm game.
So we spend twenty minutes stroking and cuddling. But she's uncomfortable with the spotting, and wants it over soon, so throws me on top of her, and away we go.
I am trying to listen to her body more. Feel when she's near orgasm, what she likes, doesn't like etc. She seems to be enjoying the experience, but then announces "let's come."
That's always the bugle-call for me to abandon restraint and gallop the horse right through the final furlong into the finishing line. Only this time, I'm ten yards from the line when she says something, and stops/pushes a bit. I pull back hard on the reins to see what's wrong.
Well, that rascally horse. Jockey or not, he makes it to the finishing line, and what do I get but the perfect ruined orgasm! Floppy, I slide out.
She is furious. She was just about to come, she says, and now she won't be able to. And it's all that contraption's fault. Yeah, if it hadn't been for those darned kids.
And now she's offloading. Yes - it's the contraption's fault. You're too sensitive now, too quick to come. Why do you have to have this kink? We need counselling, don't we? Something's wrong with us. You want sex all the time, and you want to wear that thing and be denied for months. Well, it's not fair on me! Why should I have to be the one to decide? Why can't you decide? You want a dominatrix, that's what you want! Well, I'm not a dominatrix! I want you to masturbate tomorrow and we'll have normal sex the next day.
Of course, a lot of this is anger at herself. She has a low sex drive, and she's frustrated that she's not horny when I am. Then when I take care of business myself, I'm not ready for her when she wants it. Then when I wear the device I'm all lovey-dovey and eager to serve (which I don't think I am anymore, as I know it makes her unhappy, but she likes the line). She's frustrated. A lot. She blames herself for not satisfying me more and better. And no matter what I tell her, she's going to beat herself up about it. I think she kind of likes the guilt. And she *loves* that counselling line.
Anyway, the bad blood continues this morning, but neither of us can really articulate what we're trying to say. I'm preparing to go for a run when she comes back in from the kitchen, eyes me, and goes upstairs, where there is rooting and other movement. She returns.
"I've hidden your contraption for two days."
This annoys me. "Well, you'd better unhide it."
"No. We'll talk about this later."
And she's gone.
Hm. Am I back at square one?
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Re: [CanuckInNJ] Forcing her Hand

Post by jfenoffti »

"Hidden for two days." That is very specific and tells me you'll wear it again. I think she's giving herself some time to think about it and come to terms with it. Be patient.
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Re: [CanuckInNJ] Forcing her Hand

Post by CanuckInNJ »

I do as she asks, and that day I shake one out that's better than any I've had in months. I come like a waterfall, and the aftershocks rack my body for five minutes after. My roar of pleasure resounds through the neighborhood.
And still, I'm horny again within two hours. Maybe she's right. I'm simply oversexed!
She sends me a text during the day saying she'll be working late and then going to yoga, so I won't see her until quite late. But she wants to have a short heart-to-heart before bed.
My heart sinks a bit. This feels like it might be a dressing down for being a pervert, and a message that I'd better bust out the rosary beads before I go straight to hell.
So I'm stuck with the kids for the evening (which is fine, and we have a lot of fun), and afterwards I begin a big cookery project in the kitchen, but as various concoctions are gelling I decide to take the plunge and have that heart-to-heart. She delivers her speech, which I don't interrupt.
She's not happy with this. She feels that she's not getting a say, and that this is all happening without her approval or input. She feels that I'm doing all this on my own, and that I'm doing something she really hates, completely without her consultation. She hates the thing, she says. She hates the idea of it, and she hates thinking about it on me when she's with me. Even with the key, she says, she feels that she's just an afterthought in the process. And she notes that she's WAY BEHIND ME in her thinking on this. She repeats this statement several times.
These are all fair points. I know I've forced matters by doing the thing with the timer safe, and it's been a risk. I've run with the ball and not waited for backup, and maybe I should have waited. But hell, I've been waiting fifteen years! Also: she's way behind me because she *refuses* to read anything I send her way! Ah, well. I do understand her reluctance. Kink is weird, and we've all been trained to fear and reject it. She's had her fingers in her ears and been chanting "la la la" for some time. Meanwhile I've been lapping up every dirty meme on the Internet and ransacking Chastity Forums for tips.
So I agree with her, and do my best to validate her points. I've been thinking during the day too, though, and while I was out for a run this morning, it occurred to me that I should *negotiate*.
"I was wondering if we could come to a compromise," I say.
She's wary. "What kind of compromise?"
"How about no more than twice a month, for periods of between one and eight days decided by an eight-sided die?"
She's pleased with this, and replies: "I was actually thinking about one week on/one week off."
I curse myself. I've gone too short with my offer!
"But now with your suggestion, let's split the difference and go twice a month for six days."
I don't want to show her, but I'm damn near swooning. I was not expecting such a generous compromise!
And there we leave it, with the proviso that she can unlock me any time she wants for sex or emergencies.
She's on board. Finally, she's on board!
Last edited by CanuckInNJ on Thu Jan 03, 2019 11:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [CanuckInNJ] Forcing her Hand

Post by tecolote »

That's encouraging! My wife has similar inhibitions. I wouldn't expect her to play, though. I'm having a hard time moving my wife beyond her just holding on to the key like it's a chore with no teasing of any kind (not even verbal).
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