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[Parthene] Walkin’ my Pa(r)th

Posted: Wed May 16, 2018 8:49 am
by Parthene
Chastity is not what I intended when I started down my current path of self fulfillment and discovery. Turns out my discoveries thus far have altered my understanding of fulfillment. I am much more content, happier than I was just two months ago, and hope to capture some of that here.

GF and I had a decent love life, leaning into the non vanilla, with her most comfortable in the submissive role. We’re both getting into our middle years, and things naturally slow as hormone and energy levels drop, and that was ok. A little mournful of our youthful exuberance, sure, but it was natural, understood, acceptable. A couple years back, GF, took a pretty big hit in her career, and it torched her self confidence, and her drive, and her mood. Depressed. And it knocked our sex life down, pretty hard.

At the same time, my career change buffered me up. My professional life has brought me joy, and growing success, which has elevated my spirits, and brought into focus my growing frustration on the home front. GF has had to contend with health issues which have made many of our previous activities out of bounds, so when we could make some sexual engagement, it was less satisfying to us both.

I would entertain myself as best I could, elaborately when I found some time alone, indulging in my own submissive inclinations and kinks. Otherwise, is was quick relief in the shower, hurried, furitive wanks standing over the toilet, or sneaky quiet masturbation lying next to her as she sleeps. When her health took a worse turn this winter and she was always home, the elobarate indulgences stopped completely. And I was getting a bit bonkers.

Her most recent health emergency finally came under control a couple months ago, and we were looking at an extended recovery. She’d lost 30 pounds, and not in a good way. She was weak, and prone to joint injury, unable to work, unable to help around the house, and needing assistance in her own personal care. And I was tired, frustrated, and dabbling in resentful. If led to a couple conversations. Being the caregiver is something I’d been through in my marriage, and I’d had some experience in managing that stress. So I began introducing some elements of play.

Re: [Parthene] Walkin’ my Pa(r)th

Posted: Thu May 17, 2018 7:34 am
by locked4her55
Welcome to The Forums.

Sorry to hear of your GF's health issues and the struggles you have both had. :(

Here's hoping their's a brighter future ahead for you both.

Re: [Parthene] Walkin’ my Pa(r)th

Posted: Fri May 18, 2018 1:52 pm
by Parthene
Thanks Locked,

It’s nice to have a place to get a little honest and vulnerable.

Re: [Parthene] Walkin’ my Pa(r)th

Posted: Fri May 18, 2018 2:29 pm
by Parthene
On the power exchange specrum, I certainly enjoy both top and bottom roles, but in my life I have had much less indulgence in my submissive side. Having been able to play out my dominant inclinations on a more regular basis, my fantasy life tends to skew heavily toward the submissive. With GF physically unable to ingage in much physical play, and having virtually no sex drive of her own, It felt like our best option was to engage our sexual relationship on a more emotional level. Limit her physical involvement, but maintain our connection and reduce frustration. Head resentment off right at the pass.

I started with some light cross dressing, having her pick me out a pair of her panties to wear while we were out. I picked up a strap on, to introduce pegging as a goal, when she got stronger. These first little steps felt acceptable enough, and I began shopping. A small stockpile of my panties and lingerie, a new selection of anal toys to get me ready for riding. In my excitement, I let my eyes get much bigger than my asshole, and I was going to have to be ready. Amazon Prime is a little addictive, and once I felt I’d gotten what I needed, I began exploring what else was available. Which led me to chastity cages.

I’d had a little experience with tease and denial within a play session, stretching out the anticipation and riding on the edge of delayed gratification. Expanding on that experience felt like a reasonable experiment, so I ordered a couple cages, and awaited the arrival. The first one, soft silicone with a truly horrible design was both uncomfortable and ineffective, slipped right off. The second tease cage was better, but would not fit under clothing. But it got GF intrigued by the idea. So I tried another. A steel cage also with an open bar design, but shorter, with a little curve, and an integrated lock, to get rid of the clankingin my pants. It fits, it stays, it prevents full erection, but allows me to strain at the cage when aroused. Third time’s the charm.

Re: [Parthene] Walkin’ my Pa(r)th

Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 10:25 am
by Parthene
Sunday, May 20 was the last time, GF had me masturbate for her. It had been a hair over a week since my last orgasm at that point and I had gotten a bit cranky. She’s seemed to have gotten sick or busy in the few times we’ve had home alone time pretty consistently, and is getting frustrated with herself. As am I, when I get low. Monday last, June 5, she left for a PT appt with instructions to entertain myself.

I know she doesn’t care if I let myself out of the cage and masturbate when ever I want. This denial is entirely self afflicted, and a just kind of put it on her. A way to artificially engage in my sexuality, if only in an awareness of denial.

So without specific instructions to, I did not remove my cage, and focused my entertainment on my ass. A vibrating p spot toy and near an hour, first sitting outside on the lanai, then when things started to feel propulsive, naked on the bed, I achieved a prostate induced orgasm. First time for that.

it was a couple days before I brought it up for discussion, and she is intrigued to witness that. So maybe we will engage this weekend. But more bad medical news has lowered her mood, and interest. I again may be looking at weeks.

Wearing the cage when I can, to work, and around the house, makes things so much easier to bear. Rather than feeling rejected, or ignored, I feel denied. It is still neglected feeling, but more deliberate, anticipatory. It helps to feel considered. And for now, it’s enough.

Re: [Parthene] Walkin’ my Pa(r)th

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2018 7:34 pm
by Barbamiz
Hello Parthene,

I read your story, and I can find a little bit of me in this... I'm a 30 YO italian guy, and since I'm 17, I've been dating my current wife. After a year since we got together, my wife suffered from health problems, and these problems lasted until last year. During this period, our sex life has been very limited, and very often I had to organize myself, tryng fanciful masturbation and discovering new worlds and cultures (sexually speaking). Since I have memory, I always fantasized about the submissive role, very present and desired in my childhood.

Now that my wife has finally recovered, I have been able to carry out my deepest desires and, always by degrees, we want to recover all that has been left behind in all these years. She's a little quieter than me, but she is a very intelligent person and knows how to understand me. About a month ago, I started chastity: it could appear a joke that after 12 year of rejected sexual life I found myself in chastity, but as yourself said, I feel controlled, light and full of attentions from my partner, not ignored or rejected. In addition I can crown my fantasies that I have since I was a kid.

About fantasies: I think one of the best is the pegging, I can not wait to try but, as I said, I have to go step by step. I'll talk about it soon with her, but in the meantime I will enjoy my new life.

I wish you good luck, you made me think a lot, and I thank you for your experience.

Thank's, M.