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[Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2017 9:42 am
by Tullyboy
As I mentioned in my “Hello, World!” post, my/our entry into chastity has begun as an acknowledgement of reality. My wife holds the sexual power.

From the beginning, I’ve been the typical over-sexed male. Early on I struggled with a porn habit and while that’s largely something that I avoid now, there are times when I slip back into that pattern for a day or two. One thing that habit does is ignite my already scorching libido. In comparison to my wife, who is content with sex every few weeks, I get grumpy after a day or two. And if I just watched porn, I carry over lots of fantasies that my wife wasn’t there to escalate into. While I’m half way around the track she’s still at the start line wondering when the gun went off.

As I’ve read other’s stories in these forums, I can see that I’m not alone in that. We tend to leave our wives behind as we pursue our orgasms. And so I have become the beggar at her door hoping that she’ll feed me, while she’s thinking, didn’t I just feed you yesterday?

Fortunately, I have a loving wife who really does care about my sexuality and needs. She often summons the energy (that she doesn’t have) to give me the sex that I’ve felt I need. Even as she gives me this gift, however, I know that I’m still the beggar and we’re not making love because she wants it. Sometimes it feels like mastrubation, only I’m getting to use a live human. Still, I know that she’s doing it because she loves me.

And now, after 30 years of knowing each other’s bodies, we have the additional hurdle of, well, knowing each other’s bodies. Not a lot of new and interesting things to discover at this point. She and I have some lines that we won’t cross so many of the “new and exciting” strategies that others have found don’t work for us. Still, I love being kinky where we can and over the years we’ve tried a number of fun things. But since Tullygirl is usually still at the starting line, the games tend to take the all too familiar pattern of the wife wondering where THAT came from.

And so here we are at chastity and she’s wondering “Where did THAT come from.”

I suppose like many others here, the “I want it now” strong woman is at the heart of my desires. In real life Tullygirl is a strong woman. She commands others and knows what she wants and how to get it. I find it terribly attractive and I’m hoping that she might command me that way. To want me that way and take it.

In addition, I realized that most of my sexual fantasies have been selfish. Oh, they might please her in some way, but the end has always really been my satisfaction. So as I was day-dreaming about what we could add to our marriage to increase intimacy, I consciously switched from “what can I get her to do” to “what can I do”. There’s probably still some selfishness since I benefit from increased intimacy, but I decided that I’m not going to try to make her do something, I’ll be the guinea pig. And if she’s not quite on-board, then maybe I’m trying it for me so that I can become a better person.

So last week I wrote Tullygirl a letter talking about what I was thinking. I included a link to a couple that are blogging about the same thing so that she could hear the gun go off and move off the starting line.

It’s funny how similar we all are. As I’ve done my research, the first question that I’ve seen time and again from the wife is “why”. I’m sure that you’ve seen it too. So we lay in bed that night talking through the why. In the end she said, “Ok. I don’t really understand, but ok.”

And so here we are. She has always been the one that has the commodity and I’ve always been the one buying. She controls supply and is the source of the demand. Quite the monopoly she’s got there.

And I love it. And I love her. And it’s time that we simply acknowledge reality.

Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2017 10:31 am
by Tullyboy
This is the full list of "why's" that I came up with.

1. The take charge chick in you is pretty hot. It’ll be exciting to see that girl take control.

2. To remind me that sexual stimulation is for and from you.

3. It’s one way to balance our libidos. As we’ve learned over the years, we’re definitely on different cycles of need. Yours seems to be at about a week and a half and mine is about 2 or 3 Days. This may help with that; I’m just required to wait on your desire, not mine.

4. It’s new and different and sounds fun. It’s new hardware. Chastity is a new game with new rules to learn and understand. It may or may not turn into a long term game, but it’s fun to explore.

5. It makes other women inaccessible to me and reduces opportunities to be unfaithful.

6. I like the idea that closeness and sex are now separated. Maybe this can retrain both of us to more value intimacy apart from simple orgasm.

Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 2:14 pm
by Tullyboy
We began chastity a week ago but Tullygirl became a key holder just two days ago. She was away on a business trip so I self-locked and sent her the following email.*
Well that’s it. You’re officially my keyholder.

I hesitated to share this with you because I’m actually feeling it from a fairly emotional level and I don’t want to be made fun of. One reason that I didn’t send as a text. But here goes… it feels so good. It just fits, physically and emotionally. It’s comfortable. It’s comforting - kinda like wearing a warm sock on my penis. I’d go so far as to say that I feel euphoric. Like it was meant to be. I’m happy that my erections are controlled. They feel warm and full and slightly uncomfortable but barely sexual. It feels a little bit like wearing 3 condoms. I can see why people say that they can concentrate on the woman better. While my body is definitely saying, “I want an erection!” it is so much more controlled and will flit away much faster than a real hard-on.

I can’t guarantee how long this feeling will last, but it’s a good start.

When the box first came, I was careful not to rush into it but I felt like a kid waiting to open birthday presents. I wanted the feeling to last, so I opened it carefully and slowly and then looked at all the stuff in the box. I first tried the pokey device, which is just not going to work at my current state of arousal. I discovered that QUICKLY. When I tried on the other cage, I had to use a special method to get it on because I was a bit chubby and definitely not going to be reducing any time soon. I’ll show you the method later, but the result was that as my penis popped into place I thought, “Oh! this is nice. I could get used to this.”

So I’m yours. I’m locked. It’ll be fun to find out what our new play looks like - what our rhythm is. My advice regarding sex itself would be to make yourself happy first. When you’re ready for it, I’m here to help you however you want. With penis, without penis. With orgasm, without orgasm. We’ll just have to experiment to see what works best for you. As I mentioned in #3 above, I’m hoping to use this to reset my rhythm to match yours.

My caution is that I still need some sexual tension. Please consider how you treat me on a daily basis. I need to know that you want me and find me desirable. Flirting is essential. I’ll need some watering and pruning to be able to enjoy my place as yours to command.
*(As an aside, there have been times that I’ve gone for a month or more without orgasm. Tullygirl has had extended business trips where mutual satisfaction was not possible. But this is the first time that we’ve coupled our adventure with a chastity device. In reality, our first times we’re more about simply getting through life and we didn’t take advantage of the situation by spinning it into something fun like tease and denial.)

Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 2:29 pm
by Tullyboy
Tullygirl is getting into the spirit of tease.

Thursday night, while still away at her conference she texted, “I just did sit-ups.”

My wife is one of the lucky few that can cum (in public, while working out) just by doing sit-ups. But it only works for her if she’s turned on and if she’s getting needy.

I like both of those situations. I just about broke my cage.

Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 2:54 pm
by Tullyboy
Tullygirl came home last night. It was so good to see her but there was one dynamic missing. I wasn’t waiting to pounce on her and that was refreshing... to both of us.

She had a long day of flights and layovers and arrived home around 9pm. I would truly have relished taking her body against mine and making hot love all night long (or the portion of the night that middle agers like us can handle). It was such a relief to know that I didn’t have to make that decision with my penis. I already knew that an orgasm was off the table. I asked her whether she noticed that the pressure for sex was missing and she agreed that it was nice that she was able to simply “show me love” without worrying that she’d need another half hour to “make love.”

Then the kids came into the room. Normally, if I had been wanting sex, I would have been irritable at them for intruding into the time that we were getting ready for bed. Last night, I didn’t need to worry over their presence and we spent time laughing and talking with the kids.

I love my orgasm but in this case I didn’t miss it at all because I made her happy. And the kids were happy. Which made me happy.

Normally, had we not made love the night that she returned, I would have been expecting some relief the next morning. Well, THIS morning, we had an activity that took us out of the house by 5:45am. It was a really worthwhile activity that, had I been looking for love, I probably would have avoided so that we could make love instead. But it was so worth while and so now I’m happy that we did it and I didn’t need an orgasm.

Now, be careful. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t plan times for love and sex and dating and alone time. That’s not what I mean at all. But sometimes I’d choose that good thing over better things. Sometimes I have a tendency to try to shoehorn things in to make them fit. Last night and today, I was able to choose the better thing because I wasn’t quite so worried about the good thing.

One other wonderful thing. Since my device doesn’t have a real key, I haven’t quite got the physical key situation figured out. So last night I gave Tullygirl a key pendant and explained to her what it meant. Today she wore it on her favorite necklace for all the world to see.

Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 5:25 pm
by Tullyboy
This just happened:

My wife and I thought that we were attending an event today where metal detectors were used so before we left Tullygirl unlocked me. We didn’t end up at the event, after all, but instead returned home around noon. She went off to read the paper and nap and I did a little reading and wrote my earlier posts... and took a nice nap :). I kinda wanted to wait for her prompting to lock back up, but I wasn’t so sure that it’d be something on her mind at this point early in our play. I decided to lock up by myself.

Later, I was standing around talking on the phone. Tullygirl came up from behind me and gave me a squeeze. Feeling the cage, she gave a thumbs up and a cute little smile that said, “Good job, boy.”

Darn near broke the cage again. I think that she’s having fun with this.

Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 7:29 am
by Tullyboy
"That was good for me..." Tullygirl said in the caught breath of post orgasm euphoria, shortly before we drifted off to sleep.

It began earlier as we were getting ready for bed.

"Ahhh!" I heard Tullygirl in the bathroom as I was sitting on the bed. I looked into the bathroom to see her standing akimbo with blood on her hands and inner thighs.

"What happened here?!" I asked suspecting the answer.

"I didn't think that it'd come until tomorrow!" Her period had caught her off guard.

I went back to what I was doing while she cleaned up. A bit later we were in bed and beginning to kiss.

She said between kisses, "I was hoping that we might have some fun tonight, but now it doesn't look like good idea."

I don't necessarily relish licking her while she's on her period, but I don't mind it all that much either. I told her that I was willing if it was something that she really wanted.

"Oh gross," she replied, "you know how that grosses me out."

"Could we maybe play with me a bit, edging, and maybe a ruined orgasm?" I suggested.

She said in sexy voice, "Mmm, I like that idea."

And I was treated to lovely wet kisses. And she took my nipples in her mouth and made me groan in happiness. And we played there for a bit.

At one point, I suggested that we take the cage off for edging purposes, but her stern reply was, "Um, no." I don't know if she was just teasing before when I had suggested edging or if she didn't hear me. Curiously, while I was surely disappointed, I wasn't angrily disappointed, I was turned on disappointed. If she was teasing me, she was getting good at it. Besides, I had no idea how I would ever get the cage off!

"Well, thank you for what you ARE doing!" was my honest response.

Some time later as the heat was fading and we both had laid our heads upon our pillows I heard from her, "Maybe we could use the wand on the outside of my jammies."

Bells, fireworks, whistles, dogs barking, explosions all went off in my head. Our time together had turned her on enough that she was asking to be finished. As a husband of so many years, I sometimes think with discouragement that I don't really have the ability to turn her on anymore. And yet here she was and I practically stumbled across the room grabbing the wand, throwing things around to find an available outlet!

My beautiful wife lay before me fully clothed in her Wonder Woman outfit. Now before you let your imagination run too far and promote me to "luckiest man on earth" this WW outfit is her jammies. Tullygirl isn't one for costumes so a few years ago I gave her flannel WW jammies knowing that that was probably as close as I could get to roleplaying :)

As she lay there in her red and gold top and blue starred bottoms, I began my job of pleasuring. Her nipples strained against the fabric, her eyes closed, her back arched and little moans escaped... and I fought against one layer of jammies, one pair of underwear and a mini pad.

Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:24 am
by Tullyboy
My purpose in seeking chastity is almost entirely invested in relationship. Thus, most of my posts so far have focused on the interactions between Tullygirl and I. This morning my mind is on the practical matters of having a steel cage on my penis.

Up to this point (of mostly constant wear) the cage and I have had a symbiotic relationship. It gets to exist and I get my erections controlled. My cage is particularly comfortable - usually. I’m needing a smaller base ring, which should arrive today. One effect of having a larger base ring is that my erections are allowed to grow a tad larger than they should. This isn’t normally a problem during the day because my penis is pointing down which has the effect of further reducing growth.

However, my nocturnal hard-ons tend to grow seemingly unchecked so that I wake up to the base ring trying to rip my testicles off. Everything seems to be amplified in the middle of sleep, so this is much more painful than during the day and I can imagine my poor little balls flying across the room as they are ripped off. Three times a night I’m slapped awake by this phenomenon. And as you probably know, these nighttime visitors don’t tend to simply vanish when you try to stop thinking about them. So, I usually get up, walk to the bathroom, hang out in there for a few minutes, pee and go to bed.

Clearly, its something that I can survive, but this morning was the first time that I woke up thinking that maybe the cost/benefit ratio wasn’t in my favor. I’ll be happy to try the new ring today.

Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 2:05 pm
by Tullyboy
Tullygirl allowed me to unlock to try the new base. Fits perfectly.

I feel a lot like cheating and having an extended time out. I'm not sure whether she reads any of these posts - I don't think so, but if she does I suppose that I better take a shower and re-lock. We have a deal that when she let's me unlock on my own I am not allowed to play and need to re-lock following my appointment. I'd hate for that trust to be removed; it would just make life complicated. And ruin our fun.

Looking forward to seeing how this evening is. (I'm sure that you're all waiting, too. ;) )

Re: [Tullyboy] Acknowledging reality

Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2017 7:52 am
by Tullyboy
Well?... I'm sure you're all asking.

It was a marginal success. Much less testicle pain, but my erections got caught in a feedback loop so I spent several sleepless hours being jerked around by my penis. I have a feeling that my hair might be getting tugged a bit, too. But my wife likes hair on me and so do I, so I'll just learn to live with that. (or the offending hairs will eventually get ripped out).

I really need to sleep with my penis pointing down. At one point, I slept with my hand on the cage to encourage that position. I got some nice sleep until my hand fell away and SPROING! So maybe today's goal is to engineer a penis-pointing-down-device.

I havne't told Tullygirl, yet, but I'm just really hoping that it turns her on.