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[SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, MAYBE SHE IS TOO!

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2016 1:53 am
by sirmebane
I have read about the topic of chastity for years and never quite understood the draw that so many felt to engage in it. It was interesting to me only in the power exchange but losing control of something so very intimate seemed harsh and like a domination session that someone forgot to turn off on Monday morning.

I have read much on this site, researched the topic for months in various ways and only when I found the discussion about being a better husband did I really get hooked. I found accounts not only here but even on discussion groups for traditional women's magazines with glowing accounts of chastity and how it "saved their marriage," "helped their husband with his addiction to porn," "solved a masturbation problem that was out of control," "made him more focused on his wife's needs" and on and on. So many people both male and female, husband and wife that just couldn't say enough about what it did for their relationship.

The comments went on to talk about a great sex life for both the chaste and the keyholder. The simple effort to deny him so he could focus on her and interestingly require her to spend exclusive time teasing him brings the couple together for a marital project that both do for the benefits. She is induced by the newfound attention and he by the hope of, well, whatever she is willing to offer this time. Her mood and satisfaction, one of the key indicators of what and when he may have a hope of bliss.


I was really drawn in by some of the journals (and other blogs) that talked about the 'before chastity days' where she received less attention, he kept to himself and the marriage bed was infrequently a place a true joy. Sex was a happenings but the marriage was coasting for whatever reason. It has occurred to me that while my bride and I actually have a very strong marriage, the sex has become very routine and usually quite one sided. My conviction to do better, do more for her always falls apart after the first surge of blood to the groin and soon I'm asleep and satisfied.

She denies it emphatically but I feel she has taken to making sure I am taken care of as one of her many duties. I love her deeply and frankly she deserves better than I have offered her of late. I want to do this for other reasons but if there is a built-in benefit of her enjoying this more because I am a better more thoughtful husband, I am so IN.

In my research, I decided that plastic was out and metal was a must so I have focused on metal devices. I think a have a preference for solid ring instead of hinged ring based on some of the problems I have seen discussed. I hoped to find an open cage instead of a closed shroud that requires more attention for purposes of hygiene and just checking on things without needing a key. I have a couple of cock rings that I have worn to learn lessons about sizing and I learned that small isn't small enough when the excitement is over.

I knew that the first cage would be nothing more than a learning experience so I went as cheap as I could find while meeting as many of my wants as possible. I prowled the Chinese sites and Amazon and eBay to find what I finally decided would be my first attempt at a cage. I found it on eBay and you can easily find it with a quick search for 'Short Stainless Male Chastity Cage - 1.77" Ring' if you are so inclined. I won't post a link since it would be gone in two weeks anyway. It was a US seller shipping out of Arizona so it arrived in under a week instead of a month from China. My shopping in the last few months always ended when I thought about the month long wait and "I don't want that one anyway."

Now to tell the wife about chastity, my plan and prepare for her reaction.

I found a quiet moment when the family activity had subsided and we had time as a couple. I prepared her for yet another 'crazy request from your husband' regarding sex. I could hear her wince as her tastes and mine don't necessarily intersect since she is a 'good girl' and I have a decidedly kinky streak. My more curious tastes are allowed out of the marital toy bag occasionally but usually with conditions and limitations. She is just not sexually adventurous and while she is willing to indulge me, I don't get everything I want even when she is in a willing mood. It is fun to coax her into a bit of light bondage but she loathes hitting me or hurting me even though I enjoy the surrender and the sensations. Forget about 'putting any of that stuff on me.'

When I told her that I wanted to explore chastity, tease and denial it was the reaction I expected and have come to know after couple of decades of marriage, 'why?'

I told her that I had read much and really felt convicted about making sure we didn't coast into a problem. It didn't have to happen with this method but I had read a lot of positives about chastity and thought it would be a good thing for both of us. I explained the idea, the removal of control from the man (which appealed to me with my bondage background) and the focus on the pleasure of the woman. She didn't understand and wasn't terribly enthusiastic about the plan but then realized that she didn't know what I was even asking her to do. Her mind no doubt went to the toy box and all of that 'equipment' that just makes her worry about why I want to do that kind of stuff. I think I successfully avoided the path that we normally end up following where she thinks that I think there is a major sex problem and she is a disappointment to me. "Wait, what...?"

We discussed how chastity could be whatever we wanted it to be, as long as we wanted it to be, offer her more physical attention and likely result in more orgasms for her, many more. Being a guy, I thought I had sold it right there, "More Orgasms! High Five!" She was still not eager to participate as I explained the roles we would play and some of the fun we could have. Tease me, deny me, get an orgasm in return and repeat as necessary until some goal of days, marbles or dice has been met. You can decide, we can use some method of random chance or whatever. We just have fun and do what we enjoy.

I emphasized that we would start slow, maybe a day or maybe a weekend to see if we were having fun or maybe it needed to be adjusted and try again. She had several questions including one that surprised me, "I thought they only made chastity belts for women?" No, they make them for men too and it is a tube or a cage that goes over the male member to enforce the chastity for the key holder.

It was at that point that she made it clear that I missed something in my introduction to the subject, "Wait, do you want to wear something?" Oh yeah, we didn't cover the cage element and how that worked. I caught her up and her next question was a little accusing in tone, "Have you ordered one of these things? Uh, maybe. I let her know it was a $20 experiment and well in line with the premise of starting slow. There was then a sigh of resignation and a warning that this chastity thing wouldn't be long term but she would be willing to try it once. "I guess. When does all this start?"

My timing was fortuitous since the cage arrived the next day. Much to my surprise she thought it was some electronic gizmo and didn't open it, thankfully she didn't reveal it to the kids as she sorted mail in the driveway. She handed it to me as I got home from work and it still didn't register with her. "Did you order something, you have a package." Yes, we discussed it last night. I wasn't expecting it for a few more days but here it is. A brief look of realization and mild irritation came over her face as she went on with her tasks at hand. Her only comment was, "It's heavy." She was right, it felt like a lot of metal and way bigger than would ever fit me. Ugh. Failure and I hadn't opened the box yet.

I found a moment away from my wife and the kids and opened my package. Yep, it's heavy. The ring looked the same as the smaller of the two cock rings I had and the cage was just giant, heavy and silly. It is an enclosed cage after a half inch out from the base ring with a large slit in from like the CB3000. I put it all away and found a discreet location to hide it until much later in the night. No need to share my failure with my wife until I fully understood the extent of what I had just learned by tossing away that twenty.

After everyone was asleep and I had the house to myself it was time to explore the cage. I fully opened the cage and first found that the key was partially bent in the lock, an accident during shipping. I have better and more substantial locks that will replace this cheap Chinese thing. No loss. It still works but it won't be in service long for a something so important.

I pulled the ring over one ball and nope, lost the other one. Repeat several times until it is clear that this is a smaller ring than I have encountered before. Of course, I get excited by it all and now with both balls hanging through the base ring, I am fully erect and have to wait for things to calm down. I take advantage of the full erection to slide the cage over and see how it would handle it and find the cage it too small for my erect penis. Really? Score and score. When things relax enough to slip the base ring fully on and rotate the locking pin to high noon, it is time for the cage. Dang got excited again and it truly cannot host my erection. I keep telling myself that this is a good thing but feel my pulse jump at the thought.

I finally get the cage over the locking pin which is square and that makes alignment a matter of skill and a viewpoint from the from that I don't have. I need bathroom mirror and fast. I wander into a powder room with my pants lowered and manage to get the cage fully seated and ready for the lock. Time to double check that the cheapo lock works by closing it and then making sure it opens before it secures something important. I have seen so many wank pictures about the click of the lock being sexy but lord help me it was spine tingling. I want this to happen now, but the chastity is our thing and not a solo experience just for me.

I carefully examine the metal that is now clamped on my genitals and don't feel the weight at all. My balls are fully trapped between the ring and the cage and I cannot see or touch my penis at all. I am curiously turned on by the fact that I cannot see my cock or touch it at all. I want this to happen now. I literally have to slow my breathing and calm down. My balls are pushed out to the bottom of my scrotum and appear to have the look of so many pictures that I have seen with others in similar situations; out and away. Trapped.

Using the bathroom sitting down is just fine in this cage. I'll have to figure out all those specifics as I go. I feel like this may work as a starter cage.

The tick of the lock against the cage that so many report is something to be solved, I'll have to read up on that. It is so loud and so clearly metal on metal that it makes me very self conscious.

I have worn it for three hours now and everything is comfortable and working for now. I'll sleep in it and maybe take it to work as a trial. So much to learn and this cage has so much to teach me.

Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, why isn't she?

Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2016 9:42 am
by Shepherdsflock
Good luck. My experience has shown me that chastity is more about studying your wife than about wearing the device. Somewhere inside your wife is something thing that will respond positively to chastity. I got lucky and found that early on.

Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, why isn't she?

Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2016 5:30 am
by Jasmic68
Reading your journal makes me think you have a chance to make this work. Instead of hopping about and demanding she lock your worthless penis up you have actually approached this with a measure of sensible research and thinking. This is good, as you have asked a simple but profound question.

I am excited for chastity, why isn't she?

You have already identified a few reasons, primarily that your Wife is mostly aware of your kinky side but not really wanting to join in. There are a few other things to consider.

First and most important, you have had time to do that research you mentioned. She hasn't. That doesn't mean you need to overwhelm her with everything you have ever read, but she will need time to catch up. The main thing to do is take your time, show her the advantages of your chastity for several weeks before trying to get her to hold the key. By the way you will need that time as well, your body is going to have to get used to the cage. It will do it if you don't rush and ask for help from the forum. Also your brain is going to have to get used to the new implications.

She will feel guilty denying you, long before she finds it a turn on. At least she will if she is anything like the many other wives (mine included) who see your orgasm as a measure of their own success in the bedroom. How could you possibly not want to orgasm? It doesn't make any sense!

The one thing I would encourage you to do is to try and find some of the blogs out their written for why chastity is good for a vanilla couple.

Other than that, just take your time. It is really worth it in the end.

Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, why isn't she?

Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2016 10:21 pm
by sirmebane
Jasmic68 wrote:Reading your journal makes me think you have a chance to make this work. Instead of hopping about and demanding she lock your worthless penis up you have actually approached this with a measure of sensible research and thinking. This is good, as you have asked a simple but profound question.

The one thing I would encourage you to do is to try and find some of the blogs out their written for why chastity is good for a vanilla couple.
Thank you for your comment. I try to be thoughtful when I'm pushing her to do something that she isn't comfortable with doing and I have really emphasized the relationship angle as an honest motive while admitting to be excited by the kinkier control aspects as well.

I would love to arm her up with a NON-BDSM, NON-Frightening blog on chastity for vanilla couples as what I have found so far wouldn't go over very well with her. Even some of the commentary here might scare her off as she is truly just 'not into that stuff.' Vanilla blogs on chastity that you have to recommend are most welcome. Please send them along.

Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, why isn't she?

Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 1:04 am
by sirmebane
So I mentioned in my last post that the first device arrived in the mail the night after I ‘broke the news’ to my wife. “It’s heavy,” was all I got in the heat of the busy evening and I put it away until much later in the night when I tried it on.

I did wear it overnight and I did wear it to work the next day. Wearing it without my wife’s knowledge wasn’t really the way I wanted to start things off but I knew there were specifics I had to learn before things get to far along. In total, I had it on for a total of 24 hours and learned some important lessons that I wish I knew before I ordered and that I’ll keep in mind if there is a next time to spend money on chastity (fingers crossed). I have no plans to wear this cage or any other without my wife’s knowledge and consent going forward but I felt this test run was important. I really want this experience to be something that we do and not something in which I indulge on my own without her.

Lessons that I learned include:

- Weight matters. I may have been a little naïve when I wrote off the weight on my first evaluation of my cheapo. The weight began to make certain pressure points a little tender at the end of the day and caused the cage to pull everything toward the ground like it had been tied off to a stake. It wasn’t uncomfortable or the least bit painful but it ‘weighed on me’ by day’s end. I wish I had the tools to thin out the shell of the cage and reduce the weight.

- Length matters. I spent a lot of time and effort making sure I got the base ring somewhat close to the proper size and didn’t give any thought to the length or diameter inside the cage. The length of this cage is probably too long for my goal. While I cannot get a full erection, my flaccid size leaves quite a bit of distance between the tip of my penis and the end of the cage. This delta leaves room for more growth that I intended and makes urination messier than it needs be. The width is just about as perfect as it could be as there is plenty of room when flaccid and not enough room to grow fully outward.

- Bathroom needs more thought. While it would be a sexy little reminder to have to sit to pee, it just isn’t practical for me at work and I really need a cage that allows me to stand to pee. My one attempt at standing in my own bathroom at home gave me a little hope that it could be done with this cage but some privacy and cleanup will always be necessary with this cage. Having a shorter cage that is more open is going to be a consideration if there is a next time.

- Still need to find a better lock. Cheapo lock on my cheapo cage is a waste. I’m going shopping tomorrow at Lowes to see if I can find a ‘jacketed lock’ that won’t bang. If not, use a lock from the existing collection that can hold a homemade silencer. I know, a rubber band words wonders, I’m just not a fan of the look. My wife doesn't get this problem assuming that underwear would stifle the lock's movement, I was surprised that she had an opinion here.

- Exercise that requires aggressive movement or running is out of the question with this cage. Weight plays a big part in that particular problem and having to seek out my wife at 5am before a run isn’t going to make her love me more. I can easily do sit-ups, bench press or push-ups but other bouncy exercises are just going to hurt. I did a quick check run wearing the cage and some tight spandex athletic underwear hoping it would give me a chance at some short distances. Nope.

- Escape is very possible and not that hard to accomplish for my penis when flaccid. The way the cage falls on the base ring and traps my balls doesn’t leave much hope for getting them out without the key. I was convinced in at least two instances during the initial 24 hours that I had popped out by accident but staying in the cage isn’t a problem if I don’t pull my cock and the cage away from each other. I’ll have to investigate whether I can actually get into a small ring but I know that there is no way to make a cage escape-proof. I may have to put the engineering mind to work for the greater good that doesn’t require a piercing.

- I have yet to try to shower with this cage but the opening on top and at the slot at the bottom makes me hopeful that hygiene is possible without removing the cage more than every couple of days. I’m not convinced that I can get clean otherwise.

With the kids out of the house tonight, we had an hour to ourselves and I suggested she take a closer look at the cage. We retired to the bedroom and I brought out the little felt bag and put it in her hand. There was no eagerness to open it up and investigate, so I took it and opened the bag and displayed the cage for her inspection. I turned it around, explained the different parts and what parts of me went into which parts of the cage.

“I don’t get it.”

It wasn’t that she was confused by anything that I just explained, she was not understanding the appeal or why I wanted to do this. She has yet to understand my ‘curious habits’ but accepts that they come with the package known as ‘husband.’ I set the cage aside and just talked to her about actually putting the cage to use, why I wanted to play this way and what I hoped to get out of it for our relationship. I admitted again that the element of control really pushed a button for me but the goal of chastity would be something intimate that we could do together, a game for two tired parents when those private moments happened as we passed by going in different directions and hopefully that would be a benefit to our relationship at some level.

She is hesitantly on board for a “one time only” trial of this silliness but showed no signs of overt excitement which is the normal reaction to the kind of stuff I ask for from time to time. She further dampened by spirits but pointing at the cage and declaring it medieval. Her continued lack of enthusiasm hit me again when I explained that once the cage is locked that she would hold the keys until it was time to unlock the cage. “You need to have key with you in case something goes wrong.” Hmm, that’s fair and with this cage and my inexperience wearing it we can find a compromise to work that out. Logic can be annoying and unsexy at times.

Slow and Easy

The discussion of the mechanics being complete and her participation being assured, “I guess so,” we moved on to the plan for the first lock up. The weekend is coming up and I proposed that we start on Thursday night and run to Sunday night (a solid 72 hours). I have prepared her that I may need her participation in the shower to clean up and that didn’t present any problem. Well kids, then she surprised me, “Do you want me to act any differently?”

Nice. I couldn’t begin to tell you the number of answers that began flooding from my brain on the way to my mouth but my ‘she’s not ready for that’ filter kicked in and saved me. I joked a little bit to lighten the mood which she always appreciates and then gave a simple list of things that we could do such as kiss, pet, maybe even grope but do so more often and with more intention than we have recently. Life is about taking risks and I let one item from my hardcore list leak out, “…and maybe you could grab the cage once in a while and remind both of us it is still there.” She obviously didn’t have a problem with the kissing and physical affection, however when it came to the not so subtle I’M IN CONTROL grab that I requested, she simply responded with “I wouldn’t expect that one.” It probably won’t happen but it is in the bank as a request made and I’ll revisit it again if I get the chance. I also suggested that maybe there were things that I could do to make her life easier which didn’t come across as I intended and was left as an unresolved offer. My idea was that I could find one task (maybe more) each day to take a load off her while I’m in chastity; washing the dishes, vacuuming the house, cooking dinner or just being more helpful than I have been to make her life a little less stressful.

The Unlock

As we discussed what might happen over the weekend, I described what might happen on Sunday night for the unlocking. I explained to her that once we had time to ourselves, we can go through the shutdown of the experiment but not before she has been thoroughly sexed. The night will start with a foot rub which she’ll take any time, any place with any duration that exceeds the combined strength of both of my hands. I have learned over time that PIV is something she enjoys but not with any great frequency, she would rather feel me on top of her but move to go down on her with my tongue which usually ends well. I really enjoy that (and I mean every part of that) but the routine we have slipped into doesn’t have her as the focus and something that I want to change as a part of this process.

Once she has had her fill and the focus turns to me, I hope I have the will to suggest we delay the unlock ‘one more night’ and let her nod off having been thorough serviced with no responsibilities to take care of me. I know that I’ll be sorely teased as she enjoys hearing my reactions as she works toward her orgasms, getting me to gasp or moan pushes her further down the road to the big O. I’ll be sure to offer up my very vulnerable balls in the cage when I start going down on her 68-style (you do me and I’ll owe you one) at first and then shift the bulk of my mass between her legs and provide the pressure that gets it done with my tongue.

I’m not so sure she is going to let me go without an orgasm since she feels like sexual excitement without relief is cruel and not something that is done intentionally, she has already voiced that objection. If I am successful, I’ll see if she is open to another session the following morning focused entirely on her but rather abbreviated. We can dream and reality will be what reality is, the important thing is to make it memorable and something she wants to repeat. If I can get away without an orgasm, I’ll consider it a victory but not a necessary one.

She’s come this far, I’ll let you know how it goes on Monday when all is said and done. My intention is to ask IF and not when we can have another lock up. I’ll figure out the specifics of part two if I get that far.

Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, why isn't she?

Posted: Sun May 01, 2016 8:01 am
by sirmebane
I'll have a much more detailed description later in the week but, I'm locked! Morning wood is uncomfortable, I'm all over my wife and she is trying to figure out what to do with 'all the attention.'

She is smiling a lot more right now but I cannot tell if it is a WTF?! smile or a you amuse me with your boyish charm smile.

Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, why isn't she?

Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 1:28 pm
by mistress jules
This question is asked so often and for some reason the answer does not seem to be getting through. I even wrote books about it to give you guys the female perspective.

You have been thinking about this and researching for quite some considerable time. Your partner knows virtually nothing and when you introduce your idea you are hoping they will believe what you say about it being of benefit to them.

I am pretty sure that one of the first thoughts going through her head is - here we go again, something else that is supposed to be for me but is actually another of his sexual fantasies he wants me to help make reality.

If you start from that basis, then you can see why she is not overly excited about it. Try making it less about sex and more about lifestyle and you will probably have a better chance.

I hope it went well on your unlock.

Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, why isn't she?

Posted: Mon May 02, 2016 4:14 pm
by sirmebane
mistress jules wrote:This question is asked so often and for some reason the answer does not seem to be getting through. I even wrote books about it to give you guys the female perspective.

You have been thinking about this and researching for quite some considerable time. Your partner knows virtually nothing and when you introduce your idea you are hoping they will believe what you say about it being of benefit to them.

I am pretty sure that one of the first thoughts going through her head is - here we go again, something else that is supposed to be for me but is actually another of his sexual fantasies he wants me to help make reality.

If you start from that basis, then you can see why she is not overly excited about it. Try making it less about sex and more about lifestyle and you will probably have a better chance.

I hope it went well on your unlock.
Books? I have been looking for content for both of us and would love to know more. Tell me more.

It is a fair point that she is getting surprised by this and having to process something that I have had much more time to consider. She is also much less adventurous and perhaps more innocent than most. I have been very careful to take this slowly and check on her frequently.

You're assumption is likely spot on and lines up with her reaction to so many of my requests to her over the years. I'm very curious and read a lot about things that are new and different, she is much less inclined.

Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, why isn't she?

Posted: Tue May 03, 2016 9:22 am
by Jasmic68
Mistress Jules has a link to her books from her website. ... ess-jules/

I also enjoyed giving my Wife the Mistress Ivey Green books. She enjoyed the Male Chastity one but isn't interested in the setting up an FLR book. They are edging towards being a bit Femdom but there is enough explanation in their to help your Wife understand what you are wanting and why.

Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, why isn't she?

Posted: Tue May 03, 2016 11:36 pm
by sirmebane
So the unlock happened this morning and I'm ready to report on our experiment with Chastity and the valuable lessons I've learned.

My first step after having the first discussion with her was to create two special purpose e-mail accounts that would only to be used to discuss intimate details and thoughts. They have nothing to do with us, don't use our names and aren't setup on someone's phone to be 'accidently discovered' in some embarrassing encounter. I send her an e-mail with much more detailed information about what I'd like to do if she was still up for it, offered some helpful articles (if she wanted to read them - Thank you Tom Allen) and set about describing what I had in mind in some length.

My plan was to run from Thursday to Sunday and everything immediately started breaking down when the dryer died and new appliances had to be purchased and installed. Life gets in the way of fantasy and it is annoying. I was hopeful that maybe my wife would remember when all of the excitement was over and the sawdust was vacuumed up from the laundry room. We were both tired and I have learned she is not a 'willing weirdo' when she has started the downward trajectory towards sleep. I was NOT going to mention the lockup knowing it would antagonize a tired wife at this point and began to pout more and more as she slid into bed and crashed.

The next morning (Friday) we scurried off to work and the kids to school and I wrote a modified plan and sent it to her via our new e-mail system. I proposed that we change the dates since things slipped and didn't let on that I was disappointed the night before because, well, that's just whining. My clever concession to myself was that I would add a half day to the lockup range in my proposal. I sent her a text to let her know she had a secret e-mail and several hours later she replied that my plan was acceptable.

Friday night after the day wound down and we had some time alone, she started getting ready for bed and I prompted her to start the lockup. Putting on her brave face, she closed and locked the bedroom door to a house that was quiet and calm anyway. I extracted the cage from the designated hiding place and opened the brand new master lock that I had picked up the day before. We discussed the importance of her not letting me have access to the key and how I would have emergency access to a key should the need arise. Cage on, emergency key sealed in an envelope and stashed, lock closed. Here we go.

I was more than pleased and she was more than a little freaked out. I spent some time to reassure her and showed her some affection which she enjoyed. We went to bed without a lot of discussion about chastity but talked about the rest of the day, the new appliances, schedules that were blissfully light for the coming weekend and so on. She was then treated to a back rub for as long as I could pull it off and then she rested her head on my chest while we wrapped up the night's conversation. We hadn't spent such intentional and significant time together in quite a while and I suddenly found myself getting emotional. I was nearly on the verge of tears and I wasn't sure why. Not much had changed in the last 30 minutes and I had only put forth the most cursory of efforts yet something had been started. A fire had been lit or perhaps more accurately, re-lit. I composed myself and started a new topic that took five minutes to explore and made sure I didn't really freak her out with tears.

Saturday was a relaxing break from the week and no one had anywhere pressing to be so we had a chance to sleep in. The cage made sure that I woke up several times overnight as testosterone surged at various points and erections literally 'hit the wall.' I'm not sure if I'll ever get used to that sensation as most claim happens but I'm good at rolling over and going back to sleep. We were both awakened at some point in the not so early morning by an animal who wanted to go outside and be fed. My normal lethargy in the morning was replaced by nervous energy which I turned toward my wife. I covered her with kisses and when she was thoroughly awake and aware of me, I wished her good morning and whispered how much I loved her. Much better than my normal, "I hate mornings," growl.

She started a shower and I took care of the dogs and coffee, the day wandered into afternoon and I made every attempt to kiss her, touch her, hug her and show her as much attention as I knew how. Maybe I worked a little too hard and scared her a little but I felt that cage with everything I did and every where I went and it just reminded me to do something, anything to make her feel loved.

We went about the day connecting where we could and acting more like we were dating than an 'old married couple.' I authored another e-mail to her where I let her know what I thought Sunday night (a previously scheduled intimate date) would go with back rub, foot rub, skin on skin contact and as many orgasms as she had the strength to host.

I had her reflect on the day as we went to bed that night and she was a little overwhelmed, still bemused by the whole idea but clearly enjoying the attention. She had started to make little comments about me being locked, enjoying myself (I guess) and being Iron Man which I loved. As we snuggled for the second night in a row, I was invited to 'preview tomorrow night' meaning pleasure her which I eagerly agreed to do. She set some conditions that we wouldn't be closing the door (always worries about kids coming in), we wouldn't be getting undressed and this would be a limited preview.

I only understood what some of that meant but I went to work getting her in the mood, deep kissing, hands everywhere on her while she reciprocated for me. My groin was highly conflicted as the excitement of the moment was just too intense and the cage wasn't letting much happen. Ugh. I stimulated her with my hand (which is all that she wanted under the conditions) and got the reaction I wanted. As things progressed, her hand joined mine briefly and came back up to my face. She was teasing me with her scent and good lord I was worked up by that move, it was something I had requested in various forms in the past and she had only accommodated a few times. Just awesome.

Her preview ended and she made it known abruptly that we were done now. I offered to close the door and really take this further but her way would be followed and she gave me a proper, "no." She was having a little power moment, utterly unprecedented in our world.

The next day was Sunday, the night I would have to shine because she was expecting to be exhausted and satisfied at the end. I wrote another e-mail and praised her efforts with everything I had. My comments led into what I planned to do and asked for her to make any requests she had known, I usually have to coax what she wants out of her. My only condition was that during this night, she would not be allowed to unlock the cage, it stays on. She was free to excite me, tease me or torture me, she really enjoys hearing me breath hard and moan but tonight was about her so the cage stayed locked.

Needless to say, the night was a success and she wrote me an e-mail about how restfully she slept and how much she appreciated our time. Everything seemed to be going well and she was playing along better than I ever hoped from my very reserved spouse.

We talked about the fun we had during Sunday night on Monday night and she was warming to it but still struggling to understand what I got out of it. Instead of making my third attempt to explain it, I just asked her if she could ever see her way to having another session where I get locked. Her answer surprised me when she said, "Well it can't be this weekend because I'm out of town and I can't trust you with the key." Where is my wife? She broke character right that but such a departure for her. Wow. She confirmed that Tuesday was the unlock day and made it sound like it would be in the evening instead of the morning as originally planned. I gently corrected her and she did it again, "I think about it and let you know when I decide." She is better at this than she realizes.

The unlock happened right on schedule on Tuesday morning right after my shower. It is over for now. I feel so naked but I have to go to work, so no time to reflect on it.

We scheduled a little time to talk tonight and she conceded that she wasn't as concerned or freaked out as she thought she'd be at the start. She enjoyed herself and while not enthusiastic, was open to the idea of another lockup in the unplanned future. I have been struggling to find really helpful, non-dominant, non-BDSM, plain folk talking about chastity that she can read and get more knowledgeable. She agreed to read Jules Scot book "Ladies Introduction to Male Chastity" which we promptly purchased from Amazon. We had a good talk about relationships and how we were doing and so many things that probably never would have come up without this experiment.

I think I can sum up everything with her opening comment to me during tonight's discussion when she said, "I noticed that when I unlocked you this morning that I didn't get a kiss goodbye. I see how this works now." She really does get this better than she understands or is willing to admit. She's awesome and I love her.