[SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, MAYBE SHE IS TOO!

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sirmebane
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Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, MAYBE SHE IS TOO!

Post by sirmebane »

Just a quick check in...

28 days since my last orgasm. It seems she is moving to keeping me locked up (without apology) for 4-8 weeks.

Tonight she tells me, the last two times you licked me to orgasm but tonight I'm just going to tease you until I fall asleep. I offered a pair of nipple clamps to help her make her work easier. She accepts.

Her new dark nail polish becomes a fixation for me as she wraps the chain between the nipple clamps around her fingers to tug gently and not so gently. I breathe through it and try to become erect in a cage that won't permit it.

Everything below the waist is buzzing and she is quietly sleeping on my chest.

I love my wife!
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Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, MAYBE SHE IS TOO!

Post by sirmebane »

This is from June 28, 2022... trying to catch up on my journey.

We have had a lot of success with chastity and having fun with our relationship over the past few years. She is highly vanilla and just shakes her head at most of my kinky requests but has found a place she wants to be in controlling me sexually. It took her years to not "feel bad" about denying me but now has a firm handle on her role as keyholder and how hot it is for me to hear her say NO.

As travel came back after two years of being at home, she unlocked me to avoid hassles with the TSA and venue security with nearly no mention of being locked up since. I spent most of June on and off airplanes but now that things have calmed down, we're out of the rhythm and it just isn't her first thought. I got a "I guess we need to 'take care of you for Father's Day but then you'll have to be locked back up.' Neither of those things happened.

A week later I begged her into a sexual encounter and she opened up to me that her sex drive was just zero. She envied me and my vitality but couldn't relate to it. My own drive is pretty standard for a guy in his 50's and I get that she is perimenopausal or about to break into full on menopause but... what now?

Judge me if you will... I have been masturbating about every 48 hours since she consented to sex so I wouldn't have to make her feel put upon either to be my sexy keyholder or my sexy wife. I sense exasperation in her tone and I'm trying to be supportive to ease her burden but I don't want to revert to where we were six years ago. What seems smart for me is to put myself back in the cage and continue to sit back and let her figure out what she wants.
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Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, MAYBE SHE IS TOO!

Post by sirmebane »

I have agonized over this one and tried to talk to her on a number of occasions but aborted the discussion thinking it wasn't appropriate because she had her mind on other things, she was too tired, she was sick. The short story is that I was afraid to have the conversation. I'm not an anxious person and I don't avoid confrontation but this was my bride. My sense of dread for where this could go soul crushingly high so I kept putting it off.

She has a very fixed view of what is acceptable in the bedroom and I have chipped away at it over the years. What she doesn't truly enjoy always feels like a kid asking for money for the ice cream truck "Can I? Can I?" but what she likes or just doesn't mind is something she'll bring up. I usually know where I stand pretty quickly.

As it all fell apart for me just over a month ago and as I took things into my own hands again, I posted my trip and fall topic. The advice to lock back up was the correct path but I didn't do it. While I only went solo twice, it was enough to learn that while physically exhilarating, it is soul deadening. I was responding to my physical desires but it has no emotional intimacy which was just pointless.

I have spent time here and there over the last several weeks playing with nipples, using prostate toys while leaving the joystick alone. Sex has been on my mind every day and every day I wanted to check in with her, ask her where we go from here and beg her to cage me back up. I dodged and delayed until finally last night she asked for a foot rub after which she dropped her pants and said "lick me."

Apparently, our chastity experience has taught her that there is no need for reciprocation and she offered none. When she recovered from (four ?) orgasms she got dressed again, curled up on my chest and started teasing my nipples. That's when the conversation started...

I asked if she was still okay with the cage and without hesitation she said, "yes." Her constant thought from the beginning has been 'that that cannot be comfortable and he doesn't want to do it anymore.' I need her to stand her ground and lock me up while she just wants me to be happy.

We talked about...
  • how I missed the cage - that I'm actually happier caged than uncaged
    how I masturbated and why that was something I didn't want to happen
    some stresses of getting older
    how we both are committed to each other
    why I withdraw at times not knowing how to be around her without grabbing and professing my lust


She smiled at the last one said, "That's a real puzzle, huh?"

There were other topics but we both agreed we were okay, the cage would continue to be part of our love life and she wound me up sexually and fell asleep.

I woke up this morning with a raging hard on and a plan to work my cage back on and hand her the keys. I was even timid doing that even after all the affirmation last night. She refused them and reminded me that keys went into her vanity drawer so she could properly hide them later.

"If I take them to work, I might lose them and that would be bad."
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Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, MAYBE SHE IS TOO!

Post by Norcalguy09 »

Always appreciate your thoughts and sharing!
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Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, MAYBE SHE IS TOO!

Post by sirmebane »

A study of what abruptly stopping chastity looks like…

After six years (pushing nearly seven) of being in a cage and having to rely on my wife to decide when or if I would orgasm, it all stopped. “Why don’t you put that away for a while?” I was disappointed but knew she struggled with ‘kinky stuff’ so I did as I was told and put the cage away. It was also a season of frequent business travel where metal detectors and thousands of miles separate us.

Three and half months later, it hasn’t been mentioned by either of us and I have watched as a very interested party how things changed.
My wife and I are both sliding into the back end of our 50’s so sex isn’t as frequent as it once was but we enjoy it when it happens. I firmly believe she could orgasm once every 90 days and be perfectly satisfied, she has never had a huge sex drive nor has she had interest in going beyond vanilla activities. While I am happy to go every 2-3 days and ideally I want some intimacy at least a couple times a week.

There is a disparity between a man and woman, I know you’re all shocked.

Since the cage has been removed I have rapidly reverted back to the old ways and self pleasuring when it gets to a point where I just don’t want to wait anymore. Oddly, I seem to frequently go solo the day after we are together, maybe from the fresh memories or a testosterone hit, I’m not sure. I don’t brag about it but it has come up that there are times when I’m horny and yep, I handle it. Not having the stamina of a 20 year old means I have to be thoughtful to time my escapades so I am ready when she is likely to want sex. Several weeks back I planned things poorly and she offered me very one-sided sex in the form of a hand job – It took a lot of effort to get me there. No, I didn’t tell her I’d gone solo recently which is why it was taking so long.

Having being caged for so long and seeing the benefits of chastity for our relationship, I know the spiral this creates. I’ve make concerted efforts to ‘do anything else’ when I go it alone but I keep falling into masturbation cycles because the draw is constant.

These past couple of weeks, I have felt the pull of the dark side and made a conscious effort to stay away. I would eventually get relief with her in the picture somehow, we would be intimate as a couple – it’ll be fine. The weekend arrived and nothing happened. Valentine’s Day arrived and nothing happened. Well, I did get a pat on the backside with her acknowledging that I was always ready for sex but then nothing.

Letting her take the lead just isn’t working since she doesn’t think about sex. She just doesn’t. What she does do is worry about me, cater to me and try to take care of my needs. It’s one of the reasons I married her, just sheer selflessness. If I ask her, she is usually willing to participate or make things one-sided for my benefit. It isn’t her willingness to play, it just isn’t on her top 20 things to do.

My journey of the last 6+ years taught me that I can actually be happy with being denied orgasm as long as I get the intimacy. I’m probably happier being denied because I’m eager to do something (anything, PLEASE!) a half hour later. Once I orgasm, well we all know the hormones in play and why we become brooding loners for a while. I feel like I have been a brooding loner since the cage was put away.

Both are parents are quite elderly so there is stress in both of our lives worrying about them. Thankfully our kids are self-sufficient and all have good heads on their shoulders. Our relationship is solid and we care about each other more than ourselves which is how it ought to be. Here I am stamping my feet on the floor and screaming, “wah! I don’t want to cum!”

There are bigger issues in life than anything I’ve brought up here yet I see the decline of our parents and recognize our own mortality every time I try to walk down a set of stairs. I don’t want to look back and wish I had lived my life differently.

So the pay off… what has happened since we stopped practicing chastity?

I feel more distant despite all she does. We have much less frequent intimacy. She has very infrequent orgasms because I’m not begging to lick her every other day. I masturbate much as I did in the past only now I feel bad about it because I know how it could be. A conversation needs to happen between us and I need to do that sooner than later.

When I started learning about male chastity, it would become a lifestyle that I would never want to escape only to mourn when I did. BCWYWF.

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Last edited by sirmebane on Fri Feb 16, 2024 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, MAYBE SHE IS TOO!

Post by sirmebane »

And as I read the previous post from over a year ago, I learn the value of posting a journal (or at least keeping one for reflection). Yes, the battle continues.
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Re: [SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, MAYBE SHE IS TOO!

Post by sirmebane »

I spent a couple weeks fighting something - allergies, cold, something. I wasn't sleeping well and coughing so much that I'm sure she thought of smothering me when I did sleep. Needless to say there was no play time and she was doing her best to take care of me despite my grumpy demeanor.

Last weekend I had finally recovered (thank you antibiotics!) and she climbed into bed offered me what I might want to make me happy. I tried to tend to her needs but she wasn't in the mood and really just wanted to follow my lead for what I would like.

My brain was two servings into some discount scotch and I told her of a scenario that I had been thinking about while I was sick. There was a long sigh while I gathered my courage and then I laid it out.

"Since I haven't had an orgasm in the last three weeks, I have really been thinking about this and as long as you're offering... I'd like to insert my prostate massager, have you handcuff my hands behind my back and really pinch and be savage on my nipples. You should leave my cock alone, just don't touch it."

I could sense her strong hesitation since she really hates bondage and power scenarios but she agreed. While I assembled the toys, she asked why I hadn't cum in the last few weeks... you know, by yourself. I told her that while I had absolutely done some solo play over the past few months, I had learned that it didn't make me feel good about myself when I did it.

My heart stopped, "Do we need to lock you back up? Do you miss it?" I explained as I normally do that I don't care to be unlocked and yes, I did miss it and would gladly resume at her desire. "I think we need to lock you back up after your next trip." We'll see if she remembers that offer in a couple of weeks. I'll count it as a good sign.

I slipped in the massager, had her help me into the hand cuffs so she could double-lock them and then laid down on the bed to be subject to her will. It all escalated really fast as she used some clover clips on my nipples, my prostate was getting worked over by the massager as I struggled and I had to be thoughtful to keep my hips raised and off of my restraints. There was a lot of heavy breathing while she pushed all of my buttons, I asked her to talk to me so she used her most breathy voice to whisper things I love to hear. I was so turned on and so focused on my own pleasure that I screwed it all up.

I asked her to stroke me. In my fantasy brain, she would have said no - you told me not to touch it. In her reality brain she grabbed a pair of black satin panties and took a nipple between her teeth to end my suffering. Then I asked her to remove the handcuffs, same brain issues. She did and I was disappointed. I really need to keep my mouth shut.

It all ended in a traditional hand job which was glorious relief as all of her efforts were greatly appreciated but I guess I need to be more specific about when rules can be changed after they are set. I had fun. She didn't completely hate it and chastity may be back on the table.

I slept better that night than any night I'd seen for weeks so maybe it was exactly what I needed.
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