[SirMebane] I'm excited for chastity, MAYBE SHE IS TOO!
Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2016 1:53 am
I have read about the topic of chastity for years and never quite understood the draw that so many felt to engage in it. It was interesting to me only in the power exchange but losing control of something so very intimate seemed harsh and like a domination session that someone forgot to turn off on Monday morning.
I have read much on this site, researched the topic for months in various ways and only when I found the discussion about being a better husband did I really get hooked. I found accounts not only here but even on discussion groups for traditional women's magazines with glowing accounts of chastity and how it "saved their marriage," "helped their husband with his addiction to porn," "solved a masturbation problem that was out of control," "made him more focused on his wife's needs" and on and on. So many people both male and female, husband and wife that just couldn't say enough about what it did for their relationship.
The comments went on to talk about a great sex life for both the chaste and the keyholder. The simple effort to deny him so he could focus on her and interestingly require her to spend exclusive time teasing him brings the couple together for a marital project that both do for the benefits. She is induced by the newfound attention and he by the hope of, well, whatever she is willing to offer this time. Her mood and satisfaction, one of the key indicators of what and when he may have a hope of bliss.
Wow.
I was really drawn in by some of the journals (and other blogs) that talked about the 'before chastity days' where she received less attention, he kept to himself and the marriage bed was infrequently a place a true joy. Sex was a happenings but the marriage was coasting for whatever reason. It has occurred to me that while my bride and I actually have a very strong marriage, the sex has become very routine and usually quite one sided. My conviction to do better, do more for her always falls apart after the first surge of blood to the groin and soon I'm asleep and satisfied.
She denies it emphatically but I feel she has taken to making sure I am taken care of as one of her many duties. I love her deeply and frankly she deserves better than I have offered her of late. I want to do this for other reasons but if there is a built-in benefit of her enjoying this more because I am a better more thoughtful husband, I am so IN.
In my research, I decided that plastic was out and metal was a must so I have focused on metal devices. I think a have a preference for solid ring instead of hinged ring based on some of the problems I have seen discussed. I hoped to find an open cage instead of a closed shroud that requires more attention for purposes of hygiene and just checking on things without needing a key. I have a couple of cock rings that I have worn to learn lessons about sizing and I learned that small isn't small enough when the excitement is over.
I knew that the first cage would be nothing more than a learning experience so I went as cheap as I could find while meeting as many of my wants as possible. I prowled the Chinese sites and Amazon and eBay to find what I finally decided would be my first attempt at a cage. I found it on eBay and you can easily find it with a quick search for 'Short Stainless Male Chastity Cage - 1.77" Ring' if you are so inclined. I won't post a link since it would be gone in two weeks anyway. It was a US seller shipping out of Arizona so it arrived in under a week instead of a month from China. My shopping in the last few months always ended when I thought about the month long wait and "I don't want that one anyway."
Now to tell the wife about chastity, my plan and prepare for her reaction.
I found a quiet moment when the family activity had subsided and we had time as a couple. I prepared her for yet another 'crazy request from your husband' regarding sex. I could hear her wince as her tastes and mine don't necessarily intersect since she is a 'good girl' and I have a decidedly kinky streak. My more curious tastes are allowed out of the marital toy bag occasionally but usually with conditions and limitations. She is just not sexually adventurous and while she is willing to indulge me, I don't get everything I want even when she is in a willing mood. It is fun to coax her into a bit of light bondage but she loathes hitting me or hurting me even though I enjoy the surrender and the sensations. Forget about 'putting any of that stuff on me.'
When I told her that I wanted to explore chastity, tease and denial it was the reaction I expected and have come to know after couple of decades of marriage, 'why?'
I told her that I had read much and really felt convicted about making sure we didn't coast into a problem. It didn't have to happen with this method but I had read a lot of positives about chastity and thought it would be a good thing for both of us. I explained the idea, the removal of control from the man (which appealed to me with my bondage background) and the focus on the pleasure of the woman. She didn't understand and wasn't terribly enthusiastic about the plan but then realized that she didn't know what I was even asking her to do. Her mind no doubt went to the toy box and all of that 'equipment' that just makes her worry about why I want to do that kind of stuff. I think I successfully avoided the path that we normally end up following where she thinks that I think there is a major sex problem and she is a disappointment to me. "Wait, what...?"
We discussed how chastity could be whatever we wanted it to be, as long as we wanted it to be, offer her more physical attention and likely result in more orgasms for her, many more. Being a guy, I thought I had sold it right there, "More Orgasms! High Five!" She was still not eager to participate as I explained the roles we would play and some of the fun we could have. Tease me, deny me, get an orgasm in return and repeat as necessary until some goal of days, marbles or dice has been met. You can decide, we can use some method of random chance or whatever. We just have fun and do what we enjoy.
I emphasized that we would start slow, maybe a day or maybe a weekend to see if we were having fun or maybe it needed to be adjusted and try again. She had several questions including one that surprised me, "I thought they only made chastity belts for women?" No, they make them for men too and it is a tube or a cage that goes over the male member to enforce the chastity for the key holder.
It was at that point that she made it clear that I missed something in my introduction to the subject, "Wait, do you want to wear something?" Oh yeah, we didn't cover the cage element and how that worked. I caught her up and her next question was a little accusing in tone, "Have you ordered one of these things? Uh, maybe. I let her know it was a $20 experiment and well in line with the premise of starting slow. There was then a sigh of resignation and a warning that this chastity thing wouldn't be long term but she would be willing to try it once. "I guess. When does all this start?"
My timing was fortuitous since the cage arrived the next day. Much to my surprise she thought it was some electronic gizmo and didn't open it, thankfully she didn't reveal it to the kids as she sorted mail in the driveway. She handed it to me as I got home from work and it still didn't register with her. "Did you order something, you have a package." Yes, we discussed it last night. I wasn't expecting it for a few more days but here it is. A brief look of realization and mild irritation came over her face as she went on with her tasks at hand. Her only comment was, "It's heavy." She was right, it felt like a lot of metal and way bigger than would ever fit me. Ugh. Failure and I hadn't opened the box yet.
I found a moment away from my wife and the kids and opened my package. Yep, it's heavy. The ring looked the same as the smaller of the two cock rings I had and the cage was just giant, heavy and silly. It is an enclosed cage after a half inch out from the base ring with a large slit in from like the CB3000. I put it all away and found a discreet location to hide it until much later in the night. No need to share my failure with my wife until I fully understood the extent of what I had just learned by tossing away that twenty.
After everyone was asleep and I had the house to myself it was time to explore the cage. I fully opened the cage and first found that the key was partially bent in the lock, an accident during shipping. I have better and more substantial locks that will replace this cheap Chinese thing. No loss. It still works but it won't be in service long for a something so important.
I pulled the ring over one ball and nope, lost the other one. Repeat several times until it is clear that this is a smaller ring than I have encountered before. Of course, I get excited by it all and now with both balls hanging through the base ring, I am fully erect and have to wait for things to calm down. I take advantage of the full erection to slide the cage over and see how it would handle it and find the cage it too small for my erect penis. Really? Score and score. When things relax enough to slip the base ring fully on and rotate the locking pin to high noon, it is time for the cage. Dang got excited again and it truly cannot host my erection. I keep telling myself that this is a good thing but feel my pulse jump at the thought.
I finally get the cage over the locking pin which is square and that makes alignment a matter of skill and a viewpoint from the from that I don't have. I need bathroom mirror and fast. I wander into a powder room with my pants lowered and manage to get the cage fully seated and ready for the lock. Time to double check that the cheapo lock works by closing it and then making sure it opens before it secures something important. I have seen so many wank pictures about the click of the lock being sexy but lord help me it was spine tingling. I want this to happen now, but the chastity is our thing and not a solo experience just for me.
I carefully examine the metal that is now clamped on my genitals and don't feel the weight at all. My balls are fully trapped between the ring and the cage and I cannot see or touch my penis at all. I am curiously turned on by the fact that I cannot see my cock or touch it at all. I want this to happen now. I literally have to slow my breathing and calm down. My balls are pushed out to the bottom of my scrotum and appear to have the look of so many pictures that I have seen with others in similar situations; out and away. Trapped.
Using the bathroom sitting down is just fine in this cage. I'll have to figure out all those specifics as I go. I feel like this may work as a starter cage.
The tick of the lock against the cage that so many report is something to be solved, I'll have to read up on that. It is so loud and so clearly metal on metal that it makes me very self conscious.
I have worn it for three hours now and everything is comfortable and working for now. I'll sleep in it and maybe take it to work as a trial. So much to learn and this cage has so much to teach me.
I have read much on this site, researched the topic for months in various ways and only when I found the discussion about being a better husband did I really get hooked. I found accounts not only here but even on discussion groups for traditional women's magazines with glowing accounts of chastity and how it "saved their marriage," "helped their husband with his addiction to porn," "solved a masturbation problem that was out of control," "made him more focused on his wife's needs" and on and on. So many people both male and female, husband and wife that just couldn't say enough about what it did for their relationship.
The comments went on to talk about a great sex life for both the chaste and the keyholder. The simple effort to deny him so he could focus on her and interestingly require her to spend exclusive time teasing him brings the couple together for a marital project that both do for the benefits. She is induced by the newfound attention and he by the hope of, well, whatever she is willing to offer this time. Her mood and satisfaction, one of the key indicators of what and when he may have a hope of bliss.
Wow.
I was really drawn in by some of the journals (and other blogs) that talked about the 'before chastity days' where she received less attention, he kept to himself and the marriage bed was infrequently a place a true joy. Sex was a happenings but the marriage was coasting for whatever reason. It has occurred to me that while my bride and I actually have a very strong marriage, the sex has become very routine and usually quite one sided. My conviction to do better, do more for her always falls apart after the first surge of blood to the groin and soon I'm asleep and satisfied.
She denies it emphatically but I feel she has taken to making sure I am taken care of as one of her many duties. I love her deeply and frankly she deserves better than I have offered her of late. I want to do this for other reasons but if there is a built-in benefit of her enjoying this more because I am a better more thoughtful husband, I am so IN.
In my research, I decided that plastic was out and metal was a must so I have focused on metal devices. I think a have a preference for solid ring instead of hinged ring based on some of the problems I have seen discussed. I hoped to find an open cage instead of a closed shroud that requires more attention for purposes of hygiene and just checking on things without needing a key. I have a couple of cock rings that I have worn to learn lessons about sizing and I learned that small isn't small enough when the excitement is over.
I knew that the first cage would be nothing more than a learning experience so I went as cheap as I could find while meeting as many of my wants as possible. I prowled the Chinese sites and Amazon and eBay to find what I finally decided would be my first attempt at a cage. I found it on eBay and you can easily find it with a quick search for 'Short Stainless Male Chastity Cage - 1.77" Ring' if you are so inclined. I won't post a link since it would be gone in two weeks anyway. It was a US seller shipping out of Arizona so it arrived in under a week instead of a month from China. My shopping in the last few months always ended when I thought about the month long wait and "I don't want that one anyway."
Now to tell the wife about chastity, my plan and prepare for her reaction.
I found a quiet moment when the family activity had subsided and we had time as a couple. I prepared her for yet another 'crazy request from your husband' regarding sex. I could hear her wince as her tastes and mine don't necessarily intersect since she is a 'good girl' and I have a decidedly kinky streak. My more curious tastes are allowed out of the marital toy bag occasionally but usually with conditions and limitations. She is just not sexually adventurous and while she is willing to indulge me, I don't get everything I want even when she is in a willing mood. It is fun to coax her into a bit of light bondage but she loathes hitting me or hurting me even though I enjoy the surrender and the sensations. Forget about 'putting any of that stuff on me.'
When I told her that I wanted to explore chastity, tease and denial it was the reaction I expected and have come to know after couple of decades of marriage, 'why?'
I told her that I had read much and really felt convicted about making sure we didn't coast into a problem. It didn't have to happen with this method but I had read a lot of positives about chastity and thought it would be a good thing for both of us. I explained the idea, the removal of control from the man (which appealed to me with my bondage background) and the focus on the pleasure of the woman. She didn't understand and wasn't terribly enthusiastic about the plan but then realized that she didn't know what I was even asking her to do. Her mind no doubt went to the toy box and all of that 'equipment' that just makes her worry about why I want to do that kind of stuff. I think I successfully avoided the path that we normally end up following where she thinks that I think there is a major sex problem and she is a disappointment to me. "Wait, what...?"
We discussed how chastity could be whatever we wanted it to be, as long as we wanted it to be, offer her more physical attention and likely result in more orgasms for her, many more. Being a guy, I thought I had sold it right there, "More Orgasms! High Five!" She was still not eager to participate as I explained the roles we would play and some of the fun we could have. Tease me, deny me, get an orgasm in return and repeat as necessary until some goal of days, marbles or dice has been met. You can decide, we can use some method of random chance or whatever. We just have fun and do what we enjoy.
I emphasized that we would start slow, maybe a day or maybe a weekend to see if we were having fun or maybe it needed to be adjusted and try again. She had several questions including one that surprised me, "I thought they only made chastity belts for women?" No, they make them for men too and it is a tube or a cage that goes over the male member to enforce the chastity for the key holder.
It was at that point that she made it clear that I missed something in my introduction to the subject, "Wait, do you want to wear something?" Oh yeah, we didn't cover the cage element and how that worked. I caught her up and her next question was a little accusing in tone, "Have you ordered one of these things? Uh, maybe. I let her know it was a $20 experiment and well in line with the premise of starting slow. There was then a sigh of resignation and a warning that this chastity thing wouldn't be long term but she would be willing to try it once. "I guess. When does all this start?"
My timing was fortuitous since the cage arrived the next day. Much to my surprise she thought it was some electronic gizmo and didn't open it, thankfully she didn't reveal it to the kids as she sorted mail in the driveway. She handed it to me as I got home from work and it still didn't register with her. "Did you order something, you have a package." Yes, we discussed it last night. I wasn't expecting it for a few more days but here it is. A brief look of realization and mild irritation came over her face as she went on with her tasks at hand. Her only comment was, "It's heavy." She was right, it felt like a lot of metal and way bigger than would ever fit me. Ugh. Failure and I hadn't opened the box yet.
I found a moment away from my wife and the kids and opened my package. Yep, it's heavy. The ring looked the same as the smaller of the two cock rings I had and the cage was just giant, heavy and silly. It is an enclosed cage after a half inch out from the base ring with a large slit in from like the CB3000. I put it all away and found a discreet location to hide it until much later in the night. No need to share my failure with my wife until I fully understood the extent of what I had just learned by tossing away that twenty.
After everyone was asleep and I had the house to myself it was time to explore the cage. I fully opened the cage and first found that the key was partially bent in the lock, an accident during shipping. I have better and more substantial locks that will replace this cheap Chinese thing. No loss. It still works but it won't be in service long for a something so important.
I pulled the ring over one ball and nope, lost the other one. Repeat several times until it is clear that this is a smaller ring than I have encountered before. Of course, I get excited by it all and now with both balls hanging through the base ring, I am fully erect and have to wait for things to calm down. I take advantage of the full erection to slide the cage over and see how it would handle it and find the cage it too small for my erect penis. Really? Score and score. When things relax enough to slip the base ring fully on and rotate the locking pin to high noon, it is time for the cage. Dang got excited again and it truly cannot host my erection. I keep telling myself that this is a good thing but feel my pulse jump at the thought.
I finally get the cage over the locking pin which is square and that makes alignment a matter of skill and a viewpoint from the from that I don't have. I need bathroom mirror and fast. I wander into a powder room with my pants lowered and manage to get the cage fully seated and ready for the lock. Time to double check that the cheapo lock works by closing it and then making sure it opens before it secures something important. I have seen so many wank pictures about the click of the lock being sexy but lord help me it was spine tingling. I want this to happen now, but the chastity is our thing and not a solo experience just for me.
I carefully examine the metal that is now clamped on my genitals and don't feel the weight at all. My balls are fully trapped between the ring and the cage and I cannot see or touch my penis at all. I am curiously turned on by the fact that I cannot see my cock or touch it at all. I want this to happen now. I literally have to slow my breathing and calm down. My balls are pushed out to the bottom of my scrotum and appear to have the look of so many pictures that I have seen with others in similar situations; out and away. Trapped.
Using the bathroom sitting down is just fine in this cage. I'll have to figure out all those specifics as I go. I feel like this may work as a starter cage.
The tick of the lock against the cage that so many report is something to be solved, I'll have to read up on that. It is so loud and so clearly metal on metal that it makes me very self conscious.
I have worn it for three hours now and everything is comfortable and working for now. I'll sleep in it and maybe take it to work as a trial. So much to learn and this cage has so much to teach me.