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[attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 8:42 am
by attentive_husband
I've spent the last couple of weeks considering male chastity for myself. This built out of some thing I, with help from my wife, have been doing to try and improve my focus on her in our relationship. So I proposed this to my wife yesterday morning.

I was so nervous about doing this that I wrote up notes. I spent several days getting those just right. That turned out to be really good because my thinking locked up when I started talking. Without the notes it probably would have been a mess.

We talked it through and she agreed to try it, with the caveat that if it was in any way causing problems for either of us, we stop (which I agree with).

So all good until the afternoon when my wife decided to tease me, I was in beautiful agony as my stuff was trying to expand and the device was restricting it - and the cage cut me and I started bleeding.

So the status now is we're both onboard with trying this (my wife a lot more nervous because of the cut). And we have no chastity device. I'll order one Monday for Tuesday delivery and so in 2 days I'll be locked up again. But the next 2 days will be weird.

Our agreement is to go 60 days (with it coming off at times for sex) and then decide if we'll continue. So Tuesday we continue the journey.

Note: Comments to my posts here are very welcome.

Re: And I've started the journey

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 11:52 am
by Tom Allen
Is this going to be your blog thread? If so, please see the Read Me at the top of this forum.

Re: And I've started the journey

Posted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 2:55 pm
by Shepherdsflock
I like my Holy Trainer. No sharp edges. Plus, doesn't have a bunch of holes where bacteria and junk can accumulate.

I would recommend trying either a Holy Trainer or CB. Or any other plastic type device. They are generally more forgiving, and tend to be cheaper.

Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2015 9:56 pm
by attentive_husband
My new cage arrives in the mail tomorrow. I'm nervous, scared, and excited. Our experiment with male chastity will start. It hopefully will lead to a better relationship. But it could also be a mess, in which case we'll stop.

Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:33 pm
by attentive_husband
Ok, the Contender is on, my wife locked it, and I'm now in chastity under her control for the next 60 days (when we look at it and decide if we continue). I can barely feel it on, yet it also feels right to now be unable to masturbate or have sex unless she allows it.

Very weird but if I had one word to describe how I feel, it's content.

Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2015 11:11 am
by attentive_husband
I've now been in for 2 days (mid Wednesday to mid Friday). A lot of this has been similar to what is written here and elsewhere, but experiencing it is much different from reading about it.

First off, most of the time I don't feel it. I easily have more moments where I worry that the cage fell off and I didn't realize it than times I notice the cage there. Part of this is a testament to a properly sized custom fitted cage (a Contender in my case). It also means I don't feel my cock brushing against my boxer shorts so I've lost that almost constant slight pressure - which adds to the effect of the chastity.

Second, the cage obviously stops me from masturbating. But it also removes the psychological desire. If the cage was off yes I would want to. But with the cage on, there's curiosity of can I arouse myself. But there's not insistent demand in my head to do so. The fact that I physically can't has turned off the mental urge.

Third, it feels right. I did this so I will focus more on my wife and so orgasms become solely part of our loving. But I figured I would be hating the chastity at times and have to talk my way through the trade-offs. But so far being set up this way feels right. And I have not had an orgasm for a week (used to be almost every day).

The biggest downside so far is it's a different part of my balls that rub my boxers and so that area has to get used to the rubbing when I sit, walk, etc. It's a little painful, but very little. And I know in a couple of days it will be gone.

The cage fits perfectly. It's on comfortably and it's clearly not going to come off or get twisted. When walking I usually don't feel it at all. No weight and not bouncing against anything.

My wife also told me that the earliest it's coming off is a week from this Sunday (due to people over for the holiday). So my initial chastity run will be 11 days. Or more as she said that was the soonest, but was not a promise.

Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2015 9:15 am
by attentive_husband
I think one key part to starting this journey is making my wife comfortable with the device. I've talked about it as little as possible and mostly that it feels fine (it does). When this first starts she's not thinking about the advantages of chastity, she's worrying what is this very weird thing I'm proposing, will it cause serious problems in our relationship, will it cause me to get angry with people because I'm frustrated, etc. So my focus is our morning check in and otherwise try to make this as much as possible normal.

We're now 4 days in. Yesterday morning I gave her a backrub and at the start reminded her that sex was impossible. I could see her relax more knowing that it was not a prelude to my trying to get her to agree to sex. So I gave her a complete backrub and then at the end pointed out there are some advantages to the device and she agreed saying yes quite a few.

She promised to reciprocate when the house is not full of family and I told her that my giving her a backrub with no reciprocation is a wonderful tease by itself and so not to worry. My god, running my hands over all of her except her breasts & pussy - I wanted to explode. And seeing her there and knowing there's no way I'm getting that today - OMG. And so the T&D has begun. And begun the way it should - being all about her.

The other interesting thing is this is now normal. During the day I mostly don't feel the cage at all. When I do notice it or think of it, it now feels normal. I think if it came off for a couple of hours it would feel wrong to not have it on.

I've now gone 8 days since I last had sex and last had an orgasm. I used to masturbate most every day. I miss the orgasms, but I like the ongoing intensity of denial I get instead. And I really like how I am more focused on making my wife happy.

I don't know where we'll end up on this journey, but at present I'm really glad we're trying. It is definitely quite a bit different than I expected, but overall better.

Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 4:22 pm
by attentive_husband
Yesterday my wife brought up that I am doing more of some things she doesn't like and thinks the cause is the cage. I asked that we sit down and discuss it. I won't bore you with any of the details but in the discussion I stated that I will end chastity now if it is causing problems. I stated it so strongly that she took it as I was sying end it, not asking her if she wanted me to. So very strong.

She replied that I was wimping out and 5 days was way too short a period to know if this will be helpful. And that I need to give it a couple of weeks. I agreed to do so immediately.

The bottom line is that while she still is not in favor of this idea, she is in favor of giving it a fair trial. This is gigantic as I think at first she would have been thrilled for me to give up on it. I think this is a combination that she does see some real benefits and she also doesn't want me giving up just because we hit some problems.

Going forward I think the odds are much better as she clearly is open to the idea.

Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2015 5:16 pm
by attentive_husband
12 days since I started this journey.
8 days since I've been in a Contender 24/7.
14 days since I've had an orgasm.

Up until 2 days ago not much was happening between a giant amount going on in our life. I hit a point a couple of days ago where I almost gave in and used the emergency key to unlock and then masturbate. My situation was all the negatives of chastity and none of the positives. But I had told myself give it 60 days when starting and that held me through.

Then the last 2 days it has gotten much better. We're not slammed with stuff to do now. Busy still but not slammed. And that has given us a little time to experience some of the positives of my being in chastity. The last 2 mornings have been extra frustrating because we have family staying with us through the holiday and that means we have to be totally silent. So Tease & Denial while being silent - even more frustrating.

This morning after enjoying some very quiet time together, my wife then kicked me out of bed to go shower so she had some "alone" time. I'd say this is the first step to her being comfortable with the concept that no orgasms for me does not limit orgasms for her.

Meanwhile I am so looking forward to Sunday. Sunday afternoon everyone leaves and while my wife merely said "not before Sunday," I'm hopeful I'll get unlocked then! That will be 11 days in the Contender and 17 days since my last orgasm. Hell of a long time for my first release. Desperately long. Worried my getting excited would explode the steel cage long.

This has me paying a lot more attention to my wife. And being a lot more attentive to her. Not so I get sex (well that too), but because the enforced chastity redirects me. So it does seem to be working. Very frustrating at times, but also very rewarding.

Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2015 1:53 pm
by attentive_husband
Really good news today. We check in with each other every morning about this and I asked my wife today if she thought locking me up was a good thing. Her reply was "the jury is still out." This is gigantic because her initial reaction was that this is crazy (she didn't say that but clearly thought that).

It's only been 14 days since I proposed this and only 10 days locked up. So we're still in the very early stages of seeing if this works for us. But she is now seeing it as something that could well be, in total, an improvement in our relationship.