[attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

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attentive_husband
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Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Post by attentive_husband » Mon Dec 31, 2018 4:12 pm

Tom Allen wrote:
Tue Dec 18, 2018 12:53 pm
It would be interesting to learn how she came to the decision.
I asked her. She thought a bit and said that it seemed the natural next step in this journey. And she then added that I had hinted about it some.

We talked later again and I asked her if she liked me more the longer I was locked up and she said that is definitely true. Both in that I'm a better husband and that the sex is better. She has also come to love the sexual part of this - the teasing and that when we make love it's all about her.
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Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Post by attentive_husband » Mon Dec 31, 2018 4:18 pm

Yesterday was interesting. I wanted out. No thought of trade-offs, the benefits of chastity, etc. - I wanted to cum.

My wife did her best to calm me down and help me through it. But she said she didn't consider for even a second letting me out. And at the end of the day she made the comment that "it hasn't been that long since my last orgasm" (it's been over 3 months).

And today was good (this morning was great).
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Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Post by attentive_husband » Fri May 17, 2019 2:46 am

110 days. 110 days without an orgasm. I was insane with lust for my wife, to an extent I've never experienced before.

Ok, so we were going down the path of indefinite chastity for me with the intent of maybe never letting me have an orgasm. And as time progressed it got more and more intense. Well beyond anything before. I had trouble focusing on anything else. Often my first hour at work was trying to shift my mind to work.

And then we had a difficult family problem and my wife had to fly out to help. We figured it would be 1 - 2 weeks and I had to stay because of work. When I got home she had left the key out. Needless to say I was masturbating every chance I had until she came back.

Subsequent to that she locked me back up, but let me out for a couple of days after just 5 - 6 weeks. Same thing again, 5 - 6 weeks and out.

And now I've been out for over a month I think.

Why?

I asked her and she said that it became overwhelming for her. That hadn't occurred to me (duh!) but my wanting her so intensely all the time was overload for her. So now chastity is over, and I miss it.
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Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Post by attentive_husband » Thu Oct 03, 2019 12:07 pm

Wow - time flies. Over the last several months I've been "permanently" out of chastity several times, for several weeks each. I've been in chastity for "short periods" that generally were 1 - 3 weeks. And through it all my wife was not wanting to continue down this road.

At one point she even wrote up a Pros & Cons list and it was illuminating to me - there were more Cons for her.

So we were back to a non-chastity relationship, with locking me up occasionally for fun. But I found that I generally wouldn't orgasm when we made love. Not that I couldn't, but we would get her 2 orgasms and then I would stop - because I wanted to keep the focus on her. That was a bit of a problem - for both of us.

So we talked about it 3-1/2 weeks ago. The biggest negative to her is I overwhelm her. She loves to tease me and get me totally worked up. But then we're done and she doesn't like that I'm still 1,000,000,000% focused on sex (gee - go figure). So she said let's try again, but the second she feels overwhelmed she tells me and I get out of bed - immediately.

She likes a lot of having me locked up. The focus on her, the taking care of her, the attentiveness. So we're doing well now and I'm hopeful. And she has told me "seriously" (our special word that means 100% honest) that she is planning on never letting me out. Ever.

As I said, there is a lot of this she does like.
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Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Post by attentive_husband » Wed Nov 27, 2019 1:46 pm

So we went 40 days and then she let me out for a trip (airport security) and left me unlocked for several days when we got back. We made love and it was wonderful. But she then decided that I was not as focused and attentive to her as she was used to.

So 11 days ago locked back up. And she was talking almost immediately about how much better this is. She said she's going to try to go at least 6 months until she lets me have another orgasm.

More interesting - she's been talking regularly about the advantages of having me locked up. And for the first time saying sex is better this way (in the past she said different).

It's definitely more intense this time than the last couple of times.
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Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Post by attentive_husband » Thu Dec 26, 2019 8:56 am

40 days (record is 100).

We've been at this for a bit over 4 years. And it clearly is a journey for both parties. When we started she would let me out every 7 - 10 days. Partially because I was going nuts and partially because I was driving her nuts. As we've gone on the times have tended to get longer.

Equally important, my wife has become more and more comfortable with it. And has come to view the advantages as outweighing the disadvantages. Of course, like every woman (us guys of course are perfect), she wants all the advantages and none of the disadvantages - without locking me up. But she is coming to see it , as if still a bit (as opposed to very) weird, something that works well.

She definitely loves the "it's all about her" and takes that in a loving and appreciative way. So that part is good.

And one new thing that has helped a lot - she now tells me when it's overpowering to her and I roll away instantly (usually this happens in bed) and get up. We both laugh about my fast reaction, but her saying so when it first hits her makes this all a lot better for her. It eliminates 95% of one of the biggest negatives for her.

The other thing that's interesting is I've really come to embrace that I should not cum. It makes me a much better husband and has me focus on my wife. And that all feels so right. This has been a journey for me too because I never had this as a kink. I always thought chastity was crazy.

Anyway, I'm curious to see if we pass 110 days.
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Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Post by attentive_husband » Fri Jan 03, 2020 8:01 am

Ok 45 days and then she decided to let me out the other morning.

Details here.

This was very weird. Our lovemaking was enjoyable but it ended on a complex note when I couldn't bring myself to cum in her. Not bad, but it wasn't great either.

I don't want to be unlocked again ever (I think). When I'm locked up I desperately want to cum. But when I'm unlocked, I want to be locked back up.

AAAARRRGGH!!!!!
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Re: [attentive_husband] And I've started the journey

Post by attentive_husband » Mon Jan 06, 2020 7:27 am

Ok, I screwed up telling her I didn't want to cum. That's her decision, not mine. So I apologized to her and said over the weekend it was going to be 100% what she wanted.

This was scary. I was worried that I was going to have to watch 6 hours of chic-flicks on TV or go with her as she got a pedicare. Or just the unknown of what would I then be stuck doing all weekend. So how did it go???

From my point of view, surprisingly 99% the same. There are two little habits I have she doesn't really mind, but they are my way of indicating I'm done or I'm ready to go. It was hard to not do those. Not painful, just took conscious effort to not do them. And a couple of times I expressed an opinion, once saying "but on Monday I'm going to...". Each of those times I caught myself and apologized.

And from her point of view? From the woman who when this first started told me she did not want a subservient husband? Someone who has always wanted our marriage to be between equals? From that woman?

She loved it! She said it was one of the best weekends ever. So we talked about it last night and she said she is good with me being very subservient to her and that she loves it. And she then made the sound of a whip snapping.

So going forward I will endeavor to be totally subservient to her. Which truth to tell is not that different from where we were. The big difference is at times I would express an opinion and we would then do what she wants. Now we don't waste time on my expressing an opinion.

It's scary, but also has me incredibly aroused.
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