[Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock » Thu Jun 23, 2016 6:28 am

My wife and I had a big disagreement yesterday, I will stop short of calling it a fight. It was unrelated to chastity. Anyway, after we cooled off and sat down last night to talk things through, we were talking about submitting to one another in marriage, and how important it is to maintaining peace in marriage.

I told her how it had been a big struggle for me to make the commitment of submitting my body to her. Making the change from voluntarily being chaste more or less on my own terms, to committing my chastity to her control was a big deal to me. Even though I knew it was the right thing to do, I spent several days working up the courage to actually go through with it.

Up to then, I had viewed chastity as something special I did for her, something that I could terminate if I didn't want to do it anymore. Giving her control over it took that decision away from me. Even though I was willing to voluntarily try for permanent chastity, somewhere in my mind I knew that I was still calling the shots and could just stop it if I wanted to. Now that is no longer in my power, and that is what scared me. Unless I'm in true distress or danger, she can keep me locked indefinitely.

She told me how proud of me she was for being man enough to not cling to control. She said it made her feel very loved and trusted to have me give her control of something so personal. This made me feel very good.
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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock » Tue Jun 28, 2016 12:30 pm

After two weeks of being back in chastity, I had a moment of relapse and begged my wife for a handjob and she gave me one. I felt really stupid afterward, because that was exactly the kind of behavior we had agreed needed to go. Neither of us wants me to dictate how and when my penis gets used, but that's exactly what I did Sunday morning.

I left Monday morning for my weekly business traveling, and as kind of a test I left my cage on the dresser. I wanted to see how much it mattered to my wife. I was about to leave when she spotted it on the dresser and handed it to me. She told me I better wear it while I'm gone. I was pleased to know that she took it seriously. She does not want me treating my penis as mine to use however or whenever I want. In a way it made me feel loved.
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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock » Thu Jun 30, 2016 10:12 pm

I came home from my trip tonight and after the kids were in bed, my wife wanted to talk. She was talking about the baby that is due soon, and she got to talking about what our sexual relationship will need to be like after he is born.

I was fully expecting her to give me a certain number of weeks or months that she wants me locked up so she can heal properly.

Well, that was not what she wanted to tell me. She had been thinking about it, and she doesn't want to have more kids after this. Neither of us believe in chemical or surgical birth control and she said that she wants me locked up permanently.

This was not one of those pillow talks that we've had before where she has said she would prefer permanent chastity. This was a very serious conversation. We had recently given handjobs another try and that did not go well at all. So, she told me tonight that she never wants me unlocked for anything sexual anymore. She doesn't want intercourse and she doesn't want to try handjobs again. She just wants me locked up and that's that.

I argued a little bit with her about her lack of enthusiasm during sex. If I'm going to give up the use of my penis for good, then she and her pleasure will be my only sexual outlet. I told her she will need to step up her game in the bedroom or I can already tell I will be a very frustrated and grumpy man if she's not making any effort to satisfy me sexually in other ways.

She agreed to try hard to be more eager in the bedroom.

I kind of knew this would happen eventually, but in all honesty I wasn't expecting it right now. In fact, I had kind of been hoping to have one more orgasm before the baby comes, and then be permitted at least some infrequent orgasms once she heals up.

She caught me off guard. I'm now left feeling kind of disappointed that the last orgasm I will ever have was last weekend when she tried to give me a handjob and it didn't even feel good because she had rubbed me a little raw. And now I'm done, unless I manage to have an orgasm in my cage (which has happened once).

As we spoke about it, and I told her my feelings about how she will need to support me sexually in other ways, she kept grinning in a way that made me a little uncomfortable. She looked like she was getting turned on, which is an extremely rare thing. I have only seen her turned on like that a few times in almost 8 years of marriage. If I wasn't battling a bad sinus infection right now, I think she would have made love to me right then.

So, our journey has taken a very serious turn.
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NoloMeTangere
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by NoloMeTangere » Fri Jul 01, 2016 12:43 pm

Hi Shepherdsflock

I hope you don't mind my commenting on your Journey post, but your story has inspired my wife and I to follow a similar path. Our relationship has traveled a similar course even though we are coming at it from a completely different direction.

My wife and I had been workmates, and then best friends while she was in a monogamous relationship with a woman. After her relationship broke down, we were intimate and she became pregnant on the first try. We decided to marry and try to make a go of it despite her sexual orientation. We were able to develop a very hot romantic life, but, like your wife, she always hated phallocentric sex.

Eventually I reduced my intercourse requests as much as I could and supplemented my lack with masturbation. My wife never liked this and has always felt that if she can give up women, I should be able to give up masturbation.

I decided I would try using a device about three months ago, and it made her very happy and really increased our sex life, albeit with virtually no orgasms for me. We have moved towards me performing oral sex on her as almost our exclusive means of fulfilling our love for each other. This has always been difficult to without PIV because my wife likes me to be very Dom, but she also hates PIV.

It was almost impossible for me to just take her, force oral sex on her, but then not penetrate her since giving her oral makes me lose my mind practically.

With the device, I can now do oral on her without forcing PIV on her. After reading your post she says she wants to do what your wife has done and keep me totally chaste. I'm trying to wrap my head around it.

She has offered to have two more babies as an incentive, since she has always worried that the marriage was unstable because i might cheat due to laack of sex for me. She says if we can work out a reasonably permanent, undefeatable chastity mechanism, she will consider our marriage as stable and have more kids.

These are the parts of your Journey that my wife and I liked.

So, she told me tonight that she never wants me unlocked for anything sexual anymore. She doesn't want intercourse. She just wants me locked up and that's that....

she and her pleasure will be my only sexual outlet...

She kept grinning in a way that made me a little uncomfortable. She looked like she was getting turned on, which is an extremely rare thing. I have only seen her turned on like that a few times in almost 8 years of marriage.
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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock » Fri Jul 01, 2016 1:21 pm

NoloMeTangere wrote:Hi Shepherdsflock

I'm trying to wrap my head around it.
This is where I am at right now. The longest I have went so far was just over two months, and I was feeling pretty desperate at that mark.

She has hinted at permanent chastity several times during or just after lovemaking, what I would call "pillow talk", but this was a non-sexual, non-romantic situation that wasn't a heat-of-the-moment things. This was her very serious desire.

I love her very much and am willing to give it my best shot, but permanent is a very intimidating word. I saw her naked body this morning as she got dressed and honestly I had a moment of what I can only describe as anxiety thinking about never penetrating her again. Even with all of our problems with intercourse, I have always loved the feeling of being inside her. I will never feel that again. Since she doesn't like teasing me outside of my cage, I will also never feel a normal erection again.

Initially this sounds erotic and exciting, but the prospect of facing it as my new reality is kind of frightening. I actually feel a little scared.

And while it was nice in a way to know that my wife was visibly turned on (which almost never happens), it gave me a feeling of vulnerability I have never felt before. I think she was still excited about it this morning. As she was drying her hair after showering this morning, I had to squeeze between her and the wall to get to the toilet. As I was passing behind her, she backed up into me and started grinding her butt against my cage. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was very deliberate. After she stopped, I kept moving toward the toilet and she gave me a kind of mischievous smile she has never given me before.

It's a very vulnerable feeling when you are faced with your wife being able to get you aroused, but never be able to do anything about it ever again.
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NoloMeTangere
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by NoloMeTangere » Fri Jul 01, 2016 7:34 pm

Shepherdsflock wrote:I saw her naked body this morning as she got dressed and honestly I had a moment of what I can only describe as anxiety thinking about never penetrating her again.
I feel exactly the same way. I will never feel that sensation again.
Shepherdsflock wrote: As I was passing behind her, she backed up into me and started grinding her butt against my cage. ...and she gave me a kind of mischievous smile she has never given me before.


My wife now does this, which is entirely new to her. At least this shows your wife is stepping up in the bedroom, as she promised to do.

My wife has always been somewhat disgusted/amused by erections and by my testicles. Fortunately she does love my muscles and the fact that I'm bigger and stronger than her. She just hates the penis. Tell me if this is true of your wife, does she HATE the smell of cum? My wife says it nauseates her.

Still, there are positives. She is happier with me and closer to me than we've ever been - I mean ever. Even our daughter noticed it, and she likes it, I think it makes my daughter feel more secure. Also, while I have always loved eating my wife, it has taken on a whole new level of importance in my world. Now the smell of her excitement makes me insane, and the taste is the only thing that keeps me going.

Unlike your wife, my wife has a strong libido, it's just directed away from the penis. She likes me to "take" her, pick her up and carry her into the bedroom or lift her onto the table and make love to her orally till she screams, just without my penis being in any way involved. This "force" is maybe the one thing she loves about being with a man rather than a woman. Before chastity I would either just stop (so difficult - but I've done it), guilt her into intercourse, which completely ruined the afterglow for her, or left the room (because of the smell) to masturbate, which was less bad, but still undesirable. Now, I feel like a racehorse trembling at the gate, except I never run! This leads to a cycle where I go back down on her to another series of orgasms for her. And the cycle repeats. Fortunately we have enough privacy (most of the time) and her libido is high enough that my tongue quits before she does.

My wife is researching chastity options on the other computer as I write this because my cage tends to hurt and chafe. She has a lot of lesbian friends who are piercers, and she is thinking of some type of piercings that would accommodate some sort of rings. She claims a friend of a friend did this. A little scary.
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Shepherdsflock
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock » Sat Jul 09, 2016 7:19 am

My wife was having some contractions last night, and for a while we thought the baby was coming. Turned out to be a false alarm. I was kind of on edge over the whole thing, because we hadn't had any physical intimacy in a couple of weeks and I was really needing some time with her.

About 10:30 I told her I needed some wife time. She said she could tell. I told her I was anxious because I was already stressed out from aching for her and the thought of the baby coming would have killed any shot at physical intimacy for another month or two.

She obliged and we went to the bedroom. I could tell she wasn't really in the "mood", but she did her best to please me. I won't hold it against her, I suppose spending a few hours thinking you're in labor probably doesn't get you in the mood for anything sexual.

She warmed up after a while and we were having a pretty good time. She was tapping her fingernails on my cage, which drives me nuts, and I asked her if she was happy with the the idea of me being chaste like this permanently. She rolled onto her side and rubbed her butt against my cage in a very teasing way, reached around and started playing with my balls, and said "I wouldn't have you any other way".

She seems to revel a bit in the idea of keeping me chaste permanently.
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NoloMeTangere
Posts: 60
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Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by NoloMeTangere » Mon Jul 11, 2016 12:06 am

Hi Shepherdsflock,

On an unrelated note, are you having a boy or a girl? Do you know? My wife and I wish you and your family all the best. Good luck!
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Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock » Mon Jul 11, 2016 12:19 am

NoloMeTangere wrote:Hi Shepherdsflock,

On an unrelated note, are you having a boy or a girl? Do you know? My wife and I wish you and your family all the best. Good luck!
Boy.
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Shepherdsflock
Posts: 359
Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 8:38 pm

Re: [Shepherdsflock] New experience in self control

Post by Shepherdsflock » Mon Jul 11, 2016 7:51 am

As I was getting ready to leave yesterday for my weekly business travels, my wife was running through a checklist she has developed to make sure I don't forget anything. She had added a new item to the list: my chastity device. I have always taken it with me since I first started wearing it, but now that she wants my chastity permanent, she wants to make sure I'm staying chaste.

Not really a big thing, since I always wear it, but it spoke of her view of it now. She never really asked about it before, but now she wants to be sure I'm staying locked.
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