[lockedsteve] She still desires me but not like before.
Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 11:27 am
I have posted many times that we started chastity two years ago because my wife has a preference for women. A few months ago I was feeling that she was not sexually interested in any men. She would constantly remind me that if same sex marriages were legal when we were married, she would have chosen a woman to marry. Still says that if I die before her she is done with men and would live with a women for the rest of her life. She has not allowed any kind of sexual penetration and oral has almost disappeared, both giving and receiving and she likes me to wear a bra and panties when we do have sex which is me kissing her and fondling her breast without speaking a word while she closes her eyes, fantasizes about her old girlfriend and gets off on her vibrator.
She wants sex as little as possible, with me at least. Her vibrator sees a lot more action. Even when she allows me to use my hands or mouth to stimulate her, she will tell me to stop so she can finish with her vibrator. She has a nice collection of them. This year she had me get a very small custom cage that has no room to get erect in. If I try it gets painful. Then she eliminated our twice a week teasing sessions and kept on increasing my orgasm dAenial time until she will take me between 3-4 months. She keeps telling me she would be happier if it was never or at most, once a year so she has something to take away from me if I am not a good husband.
Now she has me just listening to her use her vibrator so I cannot see her at all. I finally asked her if she still found me sexually desirable anymore. We had tested to see if it was just me or all men that she could take or leave and she did not like sex with someone else. I guess not many men would support and love a wife who has a live in girlfriend, is not into intercourse or oral anymore. I make a very good living and she gets more than most women do.
So last night I decided to just confront her because she has been evasive every time I ask her about her sexuality and if she is into men or me. I offered to never bother her about sex again if she did not sexually desire me and instead to just keep me locked up and let out every few months to masturbate alone so she did not even have to watch. I told her that I really needed a direct answer because I do not know where I stand sexually with her. I am sure of her love and affection but not so much her sexual attraction.
She told me that she still finds me sexually attractive but that her sex drive is much lower post menopause and her dislike of penetration and oral has nothing to do with me. She does not even like oral with women anymore. She did say that she would like another women in bed with us but she is enjoying locking me up in chastity and teasing me every so often. Her favorite thing is to edge me or get me hard and then leave me that way. All her life she felt obligated to do something when a man had an erection caused by her. The old blue balls story and how much it hurt because she got it that way, etc.. Now she can get me hard and just tell me to lock up. Better yet, she can keep me locked up so that I cannot even get hard.
Although she is not into traditional sex she does enjoy sexual control over me and gets a lot of pleasure over it. That is something she could never do with a female because she was into dominant women. So while she is not sexually excited by the sight of me, my small penis and especially not my semen, she is sexually into denying me sex. She loves it and laughs out loud when I am begging for release. She needs me hard and begging her to get her best orgasms. She has to hold on to my penis or balls while using her vibrator. She really does not like giving herself orgasms alone. So her sexual attraction is her sexual control over a man.
Biexuals are more complex than many think. My wife prefers women for sex, men to sexually control, women for companionship and roommates, but for everything else she wants a man. She wants a conventional marriage to an alpha male like her dad and I fit that role. She says she feels secure and safe with a man but likes the companionship of an emotional female. Her best sex is with both a male and female with her. She needs both. She would like another woman to live with us as before but if I died, she would just want a woman.
You can understand my confusion when after a life with me and her girlfriend, she told me that she never thought about it when I asked her if she was bisexual or heteroflexible. She said she knows no other way to feel but she is more into the person than their sex. So I have her answer to my questions, sort of but at least it is not that she is repelled by men as I thought.
Her sexual tastes were the reason for my presenting chastity to her. It fit into her likes and dislikes. I do not like the word lifestylers but for the last two years chastity has been around the clock with very few orgasms. It is as much as a sexual lifestyle as BDSM was for most of our marriage.
Tonight she wants to pleasure herself with her favorite vibrator but instead of me kissing and touching her, she wants me to listen by phone. She just walked in and told me to massage her later on. She had me buy a professional massage table and take lessons a long time ago. I have noticed that she is getting more confident in telling me what to do after a very long marriage in which she lived to please me. Even shared her girlfriend with me. The next few years should be interesting as we explore D/s.
Right now her girlfriends envy her for having a husband who is so attentive to her and help ful when we visit them. My wife tells me to make the coffee and set the table while she tells the host to relax and let me do it. I wear panties and a bra, not because I like to but because she wants me to. Says it makes me less macho. She gets in and out of domestic discipline. She gets sexually stimulated but feels bad for doing so. She was abused as a child, not sexually, but physically. Her Father put his two sons in the hospital once and his wife several times. My wife ran off to stay with her best friend who ended up being our long time lover. She she is conflicted about whipping or caning me. She gets sexually excited by doing something she feared. We are working on that. Baby steps. It took me too full years just to stop feeling guilty about denying me an orgasm..
The Journey continues and it feels good to talk about it.
She wants sex as little as possible, with me at least. Her vibrator sees a lot more action. Even when she allows me to use my hands or mouth to stimulate her, she will tell me to stop so she can finish with her vibrator. She has a nice collection of them. This year she had me get a very small custom cage that has no room to get erect in. If I try it gets painful. Then she eliminated our twice a week teasing sessions and kept on increasing my orgasm dAenial time until she will take me between 3-4 months. She keeps telling me she would be happier if it was never or at most, once a year so she has something to take away from me if I am not a good husband.
Now she has me just listening to her use her vibrator so I cannot see her at all. I finally asked her if she still found me sexually desirable anymore. We had tested to see if it was just me or all men that she could take or leave and she did not like sex with someone else. I guess not many men would support and love a wife who has a live in girlfriend, is not into intercourse or oral anymore. I make a very good living and she gets more than most women do.
So last night I decided to just confront her because she has been evasive every time I ask her about her sexuality and if she is into men or me. I offered to never bother her about sex again if she did not sexually desire me and instead to just keep me locked up and let out every few months to masturbate alone so she did not even have to watch. I told her that I really needed a direct answer because I do not know where I stand sexually with her. I am sure of her love and affection but not so much her sexual attraction.
She told me that she still finds me sexually attractive but that her sex drive is much lower post menopause and her dislike of penetration and oral has nothing to do with me. She does not even like oral with women anymore. She did say that she would like another women in bed with us but she is enjoying locking me up in chastity and teasing me every so often. Her favorite thing is to edge me or get me hard and then leave me that way. All her life she felt obligated to do something when a man had an erection caused by her. The old blue balls story and how much it hurt because she got it that way, etc.. Now she can get me hard and just tell me to lock up. Better yet, she can keep me locked up so that I cannot even get hard.
Although she is not into traditional sex she does enjoy sexual control over me and gets a lot of pleasure over it. That is something she could never do with a female because she was into dominant women. So while she is not sexually excited by the sight of me, my small penis and especially not my semen, she is sexually into denying me sex. She loves it and laughs out loud when I am begging for release. She needs me hard and begging her to get her best orgasms. She has to hold on to my penis or balls while using her vibrator. She really does not like giving herself orgasms alone. So her sexual attraction is her sexual control over a man.
Biexuals are more complex than many think. My wife prefers women for sex, men to sexually control, women for companionship and roommates, but for everything else she wants a man. She wants a conventional marriage to an alpha male like her dad and I fit that role. She says she feels secure and safe with a man but likes the companionship of an emotional female. Her best sex is with both a male and female with her. She needs both. She would like another woman to live with us as before but if I died, she would just want a woman.
You can understand my confusion when after a life with me and her girlfriend, she told me that she never thought about it when I asked her if she was bisexual or heteroflexible. She said she knows no other way to feel but she is more into the person than their sex. So I have her answer to my questions, sort of but at least it is not that she is repelled by men as I thought.
Her sexual tastes were the reason for my presenting chastity to her. It fit into her likes and dislikes. I do not like the word lifestylers but for the last two years chastity has been around the clock with very few orgasms. It is as much as a sexual lifestyle as BDSM was for most of our marriage.
Tonight she wants to pleasure herself with her favorite vibrator but instead of me kissing and touching her, she wants me to listen by phone. She just walked in and told me to massage her later on. She had me buy a professional massage table and take lessons a long time ago. I have noticed that she is getting more confident in telling me what to do after a very long marriage in which she lived to please me. Even shared her girlfriend with me. The next few years should be interesting as we explore D/s.
Right now her girlfriends envy her for having a husband who is so attentive to her and help ful when we visit them. My wife tells me to make the coffee and set the table while she tells the host to relax and let me do it. I wear panties and a bra, not because I like to but because she wants me to. Says it makes me less macho. She gets in and out of domestic discipline. She gets sexually stimulated but feels bad for doing so. She was abused as a child, not sexually, but physically. Her Father put his two sons in the hospital once and his wife several times. My wife ran off to stay with her best friend who ended up being our long time lover. She she is conflicted about whipping or caning me. She gets sexually excited by doing something she feared. We are working on that. Baby steps. It took me too full years just to stop feeling guilty about denying me an orgasm..
The Journey continues and it feels good to talk about it.