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Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 6:59 pm
by nervous newb
What a wild ride of emotions.

My Wife/KH told me last night that she really likes me like this. Previously she's been kind of unsure about the whole chastity thing, she thought it was a little weird. But she says she likes the extra help she's been getting, how much nicer I am, etc. So now instead of feeling weird about chastity, she says she feels ok with it. The other night she was relieving some pressure for me (I'm still having trouble going for more than 4 days without an orgasm, more on that in a minute) and she asked me as we were getting started if I was looking forward to getting it unlocked. I said "YES!" She said, "Ok, but I think it's best for you if you put it on right away when we're done." She wasn't really giving her opinion, she was making the dictate. Each week she's a little more assertive with things. So that's kind of an emotional rush. Typically she'd been letting me leave it off after sex for awhile and letting me put it back on a few hours later. That seems to have ended. After we finished up I was trying to get out of putting it on right away by laying unmoving in the glow of what had just happened. She smacked my leg and said " get moving, get it back on." In THAT moment, I had a little rebellion in my heart and did NOT want to put it back on right away. I wanted at least a few hours out. But, I did what she said. The next day I was happy I listened to her.
One of the emotional "downs" I've been having is my inability to last more than 4 days without an orgasm. To recap: I've spent the last 24 years having 10+ orgasms a week. Once we started using chastity about 3 weeks ago, it was instantly cut to 2-3 per week (the first week was 3, I couldn't last at all.) What winds up happening is that my prostate and balls get so filled up I get so uncomfortable with ball pain, prostate pain, and even some back pain as it builds up. It gets bad enough she can see it on my face as soon as she looks at me when I come home from work or she comes home from shopping. She is wonderfully merciful and allows me a full release, and instantly all those issues go away. Then after 2-3 days I can feel it starting to build again. By the end of day 4 without, I'm in pain again. One of the reasons we got into wanting long-term chastity was to not allow my orgasms to rule over my body and mind. I know there's bound to be an adjustment period after 24 years, but this is a little depressing that my body seems to still be able to rule over me like this.
If there's a little light to be seen on that issue, today is the 3rd day since the last release, and I'm still 100% comfortable. Yesterday I felt things start to fill up in my balls and prostate, but it seems to have settled down overnight last night and I've been completely comfortable today. This is encouraging, especially since her period started and I'm getting nothing for 5-6 days now. If tomorrow (day 4 since last release) is comfortable, then my body may finally be adjusting to it's new reduced orgasm schedule and we can make plans to continue to reduce further.
She did mention the day after the release that I seemed crabby. I had read stuff online about how an orgasm releases hormones that make men irritable/crabby/lethargic. I thought "Not me, I'm generally a pretty happy guy, and I have LOTS of orgasms." My wife says she's noticed I've been more patient and less crabby since we cut down to 2 orgasms a week, and how I had been crabby all the time before we started chastity. So apparently my perspective differed from reality.

Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 6:07 pm
by nervous newb
Well, today should be the painful uncomfortable day from stuff backing up and me needing a release. But, things felt much more comfortable yesterday, and today was mostly unnoticable. But, now as I sit down to memorialize this, I'm noticing some discomfort. Time to go find something to keep my mind off it. We'll see how long I can last this time. Each day is a new record for me at this point. I wonder if I wind up getting to the point where my body can last longer than my mind and I will just get "frothing at the mouth" horny without the physical discomfort I've been experiencing the last couple weeks as we've worked into full-time chastity.

Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2015 7:35 pm
by nervous newb
Wow, it's been almost a month since we started exploring this chastity lifestyle.

It's getting almost normal. Most of the time I don't notice that I'm wearing a chastity device. I'm wearing the HTv2 with the 45mm ring. I started with the 50mm ring which was way too big, even though anything smaller than the 2" ring with the CB6000s was too small. The 45mm ring is extremely comfortable, except after about 4-5 days after we have sex and my balls and prostate start to fill up, I can really feel the bottom part of that ring against me...
So far, my wife/KH hasn't required long lockups. A week is the longest we've gone. She's not doing anything for broken orgasms, so when we've hit 1 week I've started to get very uncomfortable. I'm up for trying longer periods of time between having sex and having full orgasms, but I'd still want to be able to release the build-up from time to time. She's on a med that kills her sex drive, so we've been discussing broken orgasms as a way of her not feeling obligated to have sex with me just to relieve the pressure. So far we haven't tried that yet though.
Sometimes it feels like we're starting to stagnate with this. She plays with my cage every now and then, and we have sex about once a week, sometimes twice a week. It does seem like the longer the lockup I have, the more intense the orgasm is for me. Hers always bend her in half, and she always get at least one before I get to even penetrate. It's common for her to have 3-5 when we have sex, and our personal record is that she stopped counting at 9. It's rare that we get out of that 3-5 range though.
So I'm kind of wondering what's next? Obviously there's no timetable for anything. Each couple has to experience their own pace for growth with this type of life. Is my wife going to stay on this routine forever? She's got a bit of a dominant personality in life outside of sex, would that eventually creep in to our sex life? We've been married for nearly 11 years and it hasn't, why would I expect chastity to change that?
I did have a bit of a weird experience this last weekend. I had only been locked up for about 5 days, and we had sex Friday evening. Saturday I was worthless. I needed a nap by late morning. I was dragging my butt around the house not accomplishing anything. I wasn't helpful with anything. I got enough caffeine in me after lunch that I eventually got going, but I've heard that there's a bit of a "down" for a little bit after an orgasm. In the past with giving myself orgasms every day there was never a "down" because my self-pleasure was so regular. I've noticed myself being a little more irritable after an orgasm since we've started doing lockups of more than 4 days, but this last weekend I was really not myself at all. It was just strange to me to feel that way.

Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2015 7:09 pm
by nervous newb
Haven't posted on my Journey thread for awhile. It seems like we were settling into a routine with the chastity. It had become "normal" for us. Recently though, after she released me from my captivity and released the pent-up eagerness, she left me out for a few days. 5 or 6 I think, I don't remember exactly. Might have even been a full week.
The dishes didn't get done, I sat on the couch and looked at Facebook rather than helping prep a meal, I worked later than I needed to and she was stuck putting the kids to bed by herself, etc. By the end of my time of freedom, she was about at her wits end. I wouldn't say that she hated the man I was during my time of freedom. She might, but I wouldn't. Either way, she's been a bit more assertive about when it ought to go on since then.
But once it went back on, I realized a few things. We started this mostly because I would pleasure myself whenever I wanted to, and I kept it a secret from her. We went about that full week and I didn't regress back into doing that. I considered myself "on the honor system." So yeah, I didn't masturbate, but I still wasn't the same guy I was when I was physically in my cage. The revelation: what started out as a way to prevent masturbating turned into a realization that I want to submit to her completely. I realized how much I was "topping from the bottom" prior to my time of freedom. When we put it back on, we had a frank and serious discussion about the desire I had to be submissive to her. We talked about a lot of things. We talked about whether or not it made me less "manly." We talked about whether or not I was still the "head of the household." We talked about whether or not she'd feel comfortable being "dominant" in our relationship. The conversation surprised me. She told me she still felt that I am the head of the household, because by becoming submissive to her, what I'm really doing is putting all of her needs ahead of any of mine. I'm not giving up a position of authority, I'm just enhancing my attitude towards her needs and wants while lovingly sacrificing my own needs and wants. She feels that although she's much more comfortable telling me that she needs me to do a load of laundry, she realizes that I am still the final decision maker on anything as I can simply take the key by force, remove the device, and refuse to ever wear it again. BUT, she says she wants me to wear it for at least a year. Probably more. And coming to the realization that I truly want to be submissive to her makes me want that too.
It doesn't mean she's going to tie me down and beat my ass red. It doesn't mean I'm going to be forced to wear women's clothing. In fact, it doesn't mean I'm going to be forced into anything. What it does mean is that I put all of her needs ahead of any of mine. It means that my previous sexual pleasure of having 10+ orgasms a week is going to be replaced by pleasure generated from doing the things for her that she doesn't want to do herself (like dishes.) And, I try to anticipate her needs before she expresses them and try to meet them. She knows I'm not a mind reader and I won't always be able to anticipate her needs. She knows she'll have to vocalize them, more often than not.
Bottom line, it mostly just means that I'm a lot more thoughtful of what she needs, and my need is feel the pleasure she gets from NOT having to do the dishes.

Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2015 12:52 pm
by crated51
well said

Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 7:17 pm
by nervous newb
Life has been busy lately. One of our businesses has a peak for Christmas shopping, so it's been work all day at two of our businesses, then go home and work until midnight labeling, packing, shipping, etc...

So we've been tired, and sick bugs have started to go around too.

This has led to the current lockup now in it's 8th day and containing extremely little teasing, and no free-time out. It's almost like she's forgotten that I'm locked up (not the case, fun reason why later...)

Usually after 5-7 days, she's horny and ready to go. I don't fight that. I just enjoy how incredible sex with her feels and how incredible the orgasm is, which is waaay better than when I was able to pleasure myself whenever I wanted.

Two nights ago (so 6 days into the lockup) I think she might have started to get a little ramped up, but not as much as normal. The stress of the busy season for two businesses extending longer than we expected (a good thing, don't get me wrong) is overlapping with an earlier start to the Christmas shopping season for our other business is starting to wear her out. I think she was getting the feeling like she wanted to do something just because she feels a little guilty if she leaves me locked up for too long (or what she considers to be "too long.") But she suddenly had to put down the barcode labels and head for the bathroom. When she came out, she said "shop is closed for a week." That's code for having her period.

That's 6 days in. The longest we've gone without having sex is 10 days. During that 10 days she worked me to 2 broken orgasms to help me get through as I've struggled with a nasty case of blue balls at about day 6/7 into a lockup. While I did enjoy the attention and the relief, she felt like there was more pressure for her to get me off, and she wasn't excited about putting in the effort either time. She is extremely good at it though. Both times, she stopped and took her hands off at the exact right time, and 3 or 4 seconds later I oozed large quantities of cum. She can read me like a book.

But that lockup was the last time she's given me broken orgasms. She's just not interested in doing it. I don't argue. I know she doesn't like it when the blue ball discomfort reaches extreme levels for me and she wants to relieve that, but her disinterest in the broken orgasms seems to override that during a longer lockup.

So now, we're on day 8, and looking at another 5/6 days of the shop being closed. So that'll be about 2 weeks of no orgasm of any kind, and she doesn't milk my prostate either. The good news is that so far, I'm not experiencing the blue balls like I did the first 2 months we were trying this chastity thing (we just started about 2 1/2 months ago.) So my body does seem to be adjusting some, and I did get some helpful hints on the judicious use of lotion around my base ring that seems to be helping. We'll see how the rest of the lockup goes, and how long it lasts. Her time should end right about Thanksgiving day, and we're going out of town to visit family and are probably coming back over the weekend, so it could be 18 or 19 days of total lockup, which seems like a long time more than our 11 day longest so far.

But I KNOW she hasn't forgotten I'm locked's why:

Last night, as we were settling down to an adult beverage, she went and changed into her pajamas and robe. She came out and sat down next to me, and let her robe fall open a little and asked me if I liked her new pajamas. I looked. Lo and behold, her new pajamas have pictures of antique style keys all over them! She grinned, obviously very amused with herself. And, I must say, I DO like them! If any of you want to go find some for your keyholder, she told me she bought them at Kohls. They're a pinkish/reddish color, they're a long pants and button up long sleeve shirt style and are kind of a satiny material. I tried finding them on the Kohls website to post a link for you all, but can't find them, so they may not be available online. It might be an in-store thing only.

I'd love to keep typing, but I've gotta get home. Those dishes aren't going to get done by the keyholder.

Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 9:09 pm
by nervous newb
I'd been let out of my cage for extended periods of time lately. Thanks to CagedWestley, those days seem to be over. I got the discreet key from him. Now my wife/KH wears her necklace all day every day with the key safely tucked inside. She told me that I'm not going to get time out of my cage like that again. She told me she only intends to let me out for sex or ruined orgasms. Previously she had told me she didn't like to give me ruined orgasms, but she's quite good at it. She seems to have been enjoying doing that to me more lately.
I've been thinking of talking to her about pegging. I hadn't really been too interested in it, but the longer I stay locked up, the more it feels like my body is craving it. So I started reading blogs, and (trying to sift through fantasy and plugs for erotic books) it seems that not only is it very sexually stimulating for guys, but for a female with a dominant side it encourages the dominant feelings. She seems to be becoming a little more and more dominant as time goes on, but pegging seems like a big step, and occasionally she takes leaps forward in dominance. Examples currently are: she never lets me be on top for sex anymore. No more missionary, no more doggy style, only cowgirl style. She gets to direct when things go faster and slower, and when she wants me to orgasm she leans in and whispers "GO!" Another example is the above statement that she no longer intends to let me have time out of my cage "just because."
If I get into pegging, she may make that leap of not letting me out of my cage ever. If she can make me ejaculate by pegging me, I can see her growing in dominance to making me use a strap-on instead of actually having PIV, and I can see her using pegging as the only form of ejaculation I'll get. I don't see her ever requiring crossdressing. I just see that she now insists on a dominant position for sex, and I wonder how far down that road she'll travel.

Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 4:06 pm
by nervous newb
So yes, since getting the discreet key from Caged Wesley, my KH has kept me under lock and key nearly 24/7. She does let me out once during the week to have some fun, and lately she's been letting me out for roughly 24 hours on the weekend (getting unlocked late Saturday morning then locking back up early Sunday afternoon or late Sunday morning. If we have sex, she lets me stay out overnight and then back in after I shower in the morning and get cleaned back up. So this does allow for breaks twice a week to clean my cage and my caged.
The last 2 weeks I started hinting to her that I'd be up for trying pegging. She didn't seem to get the hints. Once she said "I didn't have you pegged as a _______ type of guy." (we were talking about food or wine I think.) I said, "I'm the type of guy you can peg anytime you want!" I think she missed it...
So this last weekend she was out shopping (had not let me out of the cage on Saturday morning like she has been recently) and texted that she was going to find a provocative outfit, try it on in the dressing room, snap a pic of it, and send me the pic, then not buy the item. I sent her a text message back that had the link to a "novelty shop" and said "how about a provocative pic from here?" Then I found a strapon/silk dildo combo item on the shop's webpage and texted the link to her with the text "a pic of your hand holding this would be the ultimate tease, I totally want to try this with you."
Her response: "Wow."
Nothing else. I didn't get any pictures from her that day.
She didn't say anything about it when she got home. For all I know she's mortified. For all I know she bought it and is saving it for a special occasion. I have no idea. I feel a little bit relieved. I finally just out and told her that I want that from her. No more trying to figure out how to tell her I want to try it. We've got a little retreat/getaway set up for this weekend. If she bought it and is saving it for a special occasion, this weekend would be it. If not, then we'll definitely have some time to discuss it as our occasional weekends away have generally been all a sex getaway (it's a pretty remote place, no grocery stores, no tv, no cell signal, etc. so if she's saving it for this occasion hopefully she bought lube!) Generally the weekends are spent sitting or laying in front of a fire with a somewhat nice bottle of liquor and we wind up talking about a lot of different things. The last time we did this it was the first time we talked about chastity...

Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2016 9:12 am
by nervous newb
Last night I was asking my KH if she had any requests for a special bottle of liquor to take with us on our getaway and she sighed "I don't think we have the money to spend on a special bottle of liquor right now." I said "I've got a little cash squirreled away, not enough for a bottle of Lagavulin, but maybe some Glenfidich or something like that."
She says "You're squirreling money away? Well, then I should tell you....wait, no, it should be a surprise..."

A surprise!? Maybe for this weekend? Did she go buy the strapon that I had texted her over the weekend with a secret cash stash of her own? Or did she buy a bottle of Lagavulin for this weekend? I'll find out in 3 days!

Re: [nervous newb] Getting ready for my first lockup

Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2016 11:35 am
by Jasmic68
I've just read through your story so far and wanted to say thanks for sharing. It's interesting seeing some parallels with my own experience but also enough differences to keep it really interesting. Please keep posting!