[lockedsteve] From no interest to long term denial

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lockedsteve
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Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2015 6:49 pm

[lockedsteve] From no interest to long term denial

Post by lockedsteve »

Just a little under two years ago I was dealing with a wife who just went through menopause and lost her long time girlfriend. Since coming out as bi many,many years ago, my wife has preferred sex in a threesome with her girlfriend. She is sort of half and half on which gender she likes sex with. She likes the strong masculine presence of a male's hands on her body and hunger for her body. With women, she got the gentle and soft love making that she enjoyed. I say half and half because she did not like penetration from anyone or oral from her girlfriend. She sometimes performed oral on me and me on her. The best way to describe the kind of sex my wife likes is extended foreplay ending with clitoral stimulation mostly with her vibrator which produced the most intense orgasms, or by my mouth or hand. She hardly every let her girlfriend perform oral on her. They basically masturbated each other or kissed and fondled one another while they both used vibrators.

You may ask why I stayed with them. The answer is simple. They were into sexually dominating me and that is my thing. They put on a good show for me until I was begging to cum but denied until they were good and ready. When they were done they either did their BDSM thing with me or more often, my wife left me with her girlfriend. My limits far exceeded what my wife was comfortable with, but not so with her girlfriend who was a natural born dominant sadist. She would actually drip down her thighs and moan with pleasure as she worked me over. Sometimes that was enough to take me over the edge without her even touching me. My orgasms were either by her hand or my wife's with occasional oral sex. Some times they would just tell me to finish myself off as they left the room or keep me tied up for a few hours as they took turns checking in on me throughout the night.

We had tried the crude chastity devices of the past but they were all too big for me. That is my other problem. My penis is a genuine 1" flaccid and 3" erect. That was a major reason why intercourse was denied me. I not only was asked if it was in yet but also if I came after I did. Most times it was outside of their body since my penis would usually flop out during intercourse. It got to the point that since the women did not enjoy it and it was humiliating to me, we just never did it again and still do not. On the bright side, both women got to experience deep throating a man and anal was not painful for them. Anal ended a few years after intercourse did and it was only a few times a year anyway.

There was a lot of other stuff too. Old girlfriends being cruel to me when we broke up due to my penis size, a botched circumcision that left skin tags that most assume are genital warts and make oral feel weird. Then I went on anti depressants which either prevented me from getting an erection or making me inorgasmic. The girls like the later because I could take Viagra and stay hard for a long time without the worry of me ejaculating. I almost forgot that I am unable to father a child either my the regular way or in vitro as my sperm are malformed and mostly dead.

It is no wonder that when my wife found herself with just me as a sex partner, her interest was that of someone who loves me having sex to please me. Most times she said that she did not want to cum and later I found out she was using her vibrators a lot. Sex with someone not excited by it is no fun. I started to just use my own hand because I was better at it then my wife. She would pinch my nipples which were directly connected to my penis and sped up things. Then despite discontinuing antidepressants due to sexual side effects, I developed erectile problems which either prevented an erection, made it take a very long time and a lot of work to get it and it did not matter since I could not maintain it. Most times I ejaculated when flaccid.

So the cards were really stacked against me and I would probably never have married if I did not marry a strict Catholic who wanted to wait until marriage for any kind of sex except second base. She never saw my penis until our honeymoon night and since it was the first she saw, she thought it was normal and did so for a long time until her girlfriend informed her otherwise. This was in the days when living with a woman was called living in sin and good girls did not have sex before marriage and whose virtue was enforced by threats form fathers and brothers. I kind of lied. We did have sex two days before we got married because we felt no harm since would be married in two days anyway. We do not really remember it or if either of us had an orgasm because we had ingested a lot of drugs. It was the early 70's, a much different world than now. Since my wife and I passed out in our new apartment her dad went ballistic. He told her to apologize to my whole family, especially my grandmother and we almost came to blows. Her dad was mean drunk who put both sons into the hospital on several drunken nights. We stayed away for him after we got married. My wife's mother died the next year and all said that the wrong parent died too soon. Her father dies a year after that in the same month as his wife. My wife just has a younger sister as both parents were only children and both brothers died early due to drugs and a bad heart..

No wonder why my wife loves me so much for taking her out of that world into mine which she felt lost in. I hung with very wealthy people, had a high income job that allowed me to spoil her and a house of our own 8 months after we married. She felt out of place and not educated enough to be with the people I needed to court for my business. I provided her with much more than she ever imagined she would have. She loves me deeply for that and has spent her life making sure that I am well taken care of. She has tried every fetish I asked her too, even the yucky ones and was generous in sharing her girlfriends with me. Her loss of interest with men did not happen until over 20 years of being married. We even tested her by setting her up with a guy I knew and although she let him cum in her, she did not even kiss him and told me that she did not like it or want to do it again. I did not know then that she only fantasized about women when having sex or masturbating. It was a time where bisexuality was not recognized and she would be labeled a Lesbian which had serious consequences back in our day. I think that stigma was why she never could have sex with females unless I took part. Made her feel hetero but willing to have sex with women to please her man. She does not even know her own feelings and sexuality.

Enough of the background and this was the first time I told the whole story in over 45 years. No friend or family member know that we lived with another woman and that both were bisexual. So when we found ourselves as a twosome after so long, we had difficulty adjusting and our intimacy was fading fast. I actually started off with teasing and denial which my wife fell in love with. She would edge me for an hour and then have her own orgasms and instruct me not to masturbate. I could look at all the porn or women I liked but i was to only orgasm by her. That was fun and made my long intervals of sex seem like a fun sex game.

She eventually extended my orgasm denial time to three weeks which was on week over my limit of self control. I read about T&D on the internet ( surprisingly despite my life I had never been to a sex website before) and that led to FLR which lead to Chastity. I saw that they now had adjustable chastity cages so I showed the CB6000s to my wife. She said order it if I wanted it but my drawers are filled with once used sex toys. When I got it I put it on but it was much too long for me. I was able to get a full erection inside of it and barely touch the end of it with the tip of my penis. After two weeks I was wearing it 24/7. It was comfortable on me probably because my penis would retreat into my body so the cage was empty most of the time. However, my wife did not want to hold the keys. I sort of started directing her into a FLR like I read about on the internet. She felt overwhelmed and thought I was dumping all the decision making and tasks of a marriage, on her shoulders and she was not prepared to take on that responsibility. I has successfully guided our marriage for a long time and she was afraid she would make a decision that affected our marriage negatively. So we rebooted an tried chastity without any of the FLR and D/s stuff to start off with. That was better and as she saw the fun she was having denying me an orgasm and only having sex when she wanted to, she finally held the keys for my cock cage.

She kept extending my chastity period longer and longer until it reached 3 months, than 4 months. Sometimes I go a ruined orgasm but to her, an orgasm is an orgasm so they were mostly her going a stroke too far when edging me. So we went from my wife not interested in holding my keys to a very strict control over my penis. Things progressed quickly for us. Last year my wife wanted to prevent even my erections while locked and none of the off the shelf devices were small enough so she told me to get a custom made one. I liked the Jailbird because of its open design. I ordered all the options. The problem was that the shortest they could go go was 1 1/4 inches long. I needed an inch or less because the ring and spacer added a 1/4 of an inch to the length of the whole thing. I had to settle for the smallest one they made. Since my erection pulls the cage away from my body, I could almost get a full erection in it but it was the best we could do at the time.

At the end of the first year my wife and I talked to decide if we would continue with chastity. She felt like being a KH was a chore and did not like all the rules we had that were every changing. The poor thing had a file of all rules and changes with some rules contradicting others or being unclear. She also did not feel she should check if I was locked all the time or remind me to put the cage back on when it was off for any reason, medical or hygiene. She also wanted to deny me orgasm permanently to show her my love. I pointed out to her that if I had no orgasm to look forward to, she would lose all control over me because I no longer had a reason to let her control me. She agreed and suggested one orgams a year at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Ever. We compromised at an orgasm twice a year.

We discarded all rules and simply said that my wife makes all the rules and can change them without prior notice. I promised to always stay locked up so she never had to check that I was wearing my device. I even went further and promised to never masturabate locked or unlocked. We also agreed that my wife would tease me a few nights per week. Things started to fall into place and chastity became our normal sex life. Since I am no young man, long term chastity made sense for us. I could go two weeks without a problem and a month with just a little trouble.

Every few weeks my wife gained more confidence and no longer felt guilty about denying me an orgasm. Even though she was mostly into girls, she still felt strongly that her duty as my wife was to please me sexually either on her own or by bringing in a friend. As soon as she lost the last vestige of guilt, things got interesting. She required that I wear panties and a bra when we have sex. I cannot touch her sexually outside of the bedroom. When I am waiting for her to enter the bedroom I have to stay on my knees until she is ready to enter. My face has to be baby smooth and my body smelling shower fresh. One day she walked into my home office with a riding crop and told me that I was to be punished for forgetting to do something I promised to do. She left my butt covered with welts which sort of scared her at the time but now she is used to it. She made domestic discipline a part of our marriage.

Last week she cut off all oral sex, both giving and receiving. Her orgasms are to be by her vibrator only. She started small dick humiliation and reminding me how women are better in bed than me. She does not even want to touch it anymore. I always was unlocked during sex so she could edge me but now I am locked most times during sex and assist her in her orgasm. After watching 50 Shades of Grey last week, she now wants a chastity contract which I drew up the other day. It lists all the things she has already told me she wants from my chastity but she still has not finished adding new things. The only thing I wrote that was knew and to my benefit was to increase the number of times I am sexually teased. That was slowly moving to twice a month at most. I sometimes feel that she sees chastity as a way to avoid sex with me. That is what we talked about last night and she agreed to tease me more and acknowledge my chastity. She said that she often does not thing about while I seem to think about it a lot. I told her that is because I am the one locked in a metal device that reminds me while she can just put it out of her mind. She saw my point and promised to work on that.

So I have finished almost two months of orgasm denial with 4 to go. I know she wants me to wait for our wedding anniversary so there will be no surprise or good behavior orgasms sooner. I bought her an Apple watch and a few other gifts of things she wanted. I bought her a new car and no longer annoy her about having an orgasm or sex, like I used to. If I do there are some painful penalties and adding months to my orgasm denial period. So now you know my sexual background, why chastity is ideally suited to our situation and where we are headed. I will not have my wife's changes to the chastity contract she wants but will report on it next post.

I want to state that despite our weird marriage, which included lots of fetish play, sex with others (we were never invited back for some reason after women saw me naked and I was unable to have intercourse with them), we have had a fabulous life and really do love each other deeply. We have seen each other through tough times and never bailed on each other. My wife never gets jealous and always had a don't ask, don't tell policy which allowed me to get what she could not provide elsewhere any time I wanted to. Get them drunk and they do see my penis as a challenge to overcome. :)

My wife tries to explain why she wants to be married to me despite her preferences. She is unclear in her own mind but said that being bisexual is more than sticking your hand down someone's pants and being happy with whatever you find. The way she explained it is that she is attracted to the person, not their gender. She is fine with sex with men but just does not like the male only parts of it like intercourse and ejaculation. She does not want to be taken or submit to a man sexually or for that matter, a woman either. Apparently she leans more towards one sex over the other in many areas of her being. She wants to be a wife of a strong male so she feels protected and secure. She prefers the emotional mind of a female to the logical mind like mine. She loves to shop with women but do adventurous things with me so she feels safe. She enjoys being lusted after by me and my obvious displays of sexual attraction. Yet she will not even hold hands or kiss her girlfriend, even on the cheek, outside of the bedroom. So it is complicated and given the condition of my penis and erectile problems which piles onto my existing humiliation, Chastity has vee a godsend for the both of us.

My wife would like another girlfriend to participate in my chastity. She figures it will be worse to watch them together and take turns in extending my edging time. She also thinks it will be more humiliating for me. One of the things in our chastity contract is that she can tell women about my chastity and sexual submission if she wants to. So far only her former girlfriend knows. The future will be interesting and I think we will stick with it as long as I can do so. I no longer have to worry about not performing or pleasing women and enjoy feeling horny all the time. The pleasure of edging is superb and more intense with each passing month of denial. I am uncomfortable when not locked up. My wife has also bought a three year supply of generic Viagra from overseas which she plans to use on me during any edging sessions but mostly when I am locked up. She just loves the discomfort I endure when I am getting erect in my cage.

Sorry for the long story and all the non chastity stuff but it is all part of what brought me to where I am now and explains why I started and want to continue chastity. There is only two things I would have done differently that may be of use to newbies. Don't drop chastity wrapped in a fantasy that expects your wife to go from loving submissive lifemate to a leather wearing dominatrix, overnight. Just start off with orgasm denial and at a pace that is fun for both of you. Today I chatted with someone on Fetlife who after two weeks of wearing his new CB6000, he says she wife wants him in permanent chastity with no more orgasms. I tend not to believe guy with stories like that. So many men live their fantasy sex life online that sometimes it is sad to think how many have no girlfriend or wife into their fetish or even any woman in their life. So many problems that I get depressed and stay away for a while. I have quite 4 forums already because they were mostly fantasy posts or sad tales of unfulfilled sexual desires. Heck, my life has often not been believed and I leave off a lot of the more unbelieveable stuff.

Stay tuned.
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