[newbie] Starting again

[cycling2work]

*deleted by cycling2work* as i clearly offended newbie - without wanting to. Good luck wiht your journey and congrats so far! - original message is quoted below.

[newbie]

Newbie,
did you ever tell your wife that you started it to curb Masturbation? A difficult topic for sure but I am sure your wife noticed positive changes when you wear the device. Have you thought about completely opening up to her. Tell her you want to talk uninterrupted and then open up to the true motives.

Apart from the unsolicited advice above congratulations on advancing again and bringing her to accepting and in part understanding your desire for wearing the device!!

Cycling2work, while in a way I appreciate feedback, I'm finding it difficult to not take offense to your post.

To answer your question, yes, I have indeed told my wife that I started male chastity to curb masturbation. That was quite a long time ago. I don't think it really applies anymore since I can't even remember the last time I masturbated, but that's besides the point.

I find this "unsolicited advice" a bit presumptuous that I am hiding my "true motives" from my wife. My wife and I have a relationship based on honesty, and even though I can't always put into words what I am trying to communicate, there is no dishonesty or withholding information involved. We've had a good number of honest conversations on the subject and I've probably told her more than she cared to know. It's an evolutionary process and it takes time to sort everything out.

While I appreciate the congratulations, the rest is really not at all what I'm looking for when I write in my journal. It is strictly for my own benefit.

[newbie]

So for those keeping track, it has been 17 days since I last had an orgasm, and the last couple of days have been the hardest. I have been increasingly horny to the point of distraction. It's been hard to concentrate at work and I find I need to keep myself preoccupied with other things at home, especially since I am now unlocked for the most part except at night.

I haven't really had the urge to masturbate, but have been considering having a go at milking in order to possibly curb some of these urges. I've never had much luck at all in the past when I've tried to milk myself. I've tried various toys to achieve the desired result but I've never experienced milking the way I've read other people describe it, or as shown on the various videos out there on the internet. I recently bought my first dildo with a suction base because I was thinking maybe the toys I was using weren't large enough to apply sufficient pressure on my prostate. I was planning on trying this on Friday when I have the house to myself and can relax and take my time, but that's probably not necessary now.

I was still locked from last night when I went into the bathroom to shower. As a last minute decision I grabbed the "toy" that I've had limited success with in the past before going in. I didn't have a lot of time as other people were going to need to use the bathroom soon to get ready, but figured I could try for a few minutes. The toy was lubed and I slowly started. It felt really good and I could tell the instant I hit the prostate as it sent shivers thru me. It felt wonderful and I began to maneuver the toy and work it back and forth. Almost instantly I felt that familiar feeling of fluid trying to escape my locked penis, and it ran out and onto the mirror positioned below me. I like to use the hand held mirror we have since it makes a nice target and I can watch what's happening with the opening of my Holy Trainer. I kept up the motion and more came out. I noticed that this time seemed to be a little different since more fluid was coming out than usual since I normally only have a few drops. I felt that if I were just a little bit more "aggressive" and sped up the motion and maybe applied just a little more pressure, that I may even get better results. I took this approach and within a short time I felt a different sensation. It was a feeling like I wanted to cum but without any of the external stimulation. I was still completely locked and hadn't touched anything at all, not my cage, and not my sack. Everything was just hanging there as I looked down in the mirror when I saw the gob of "cum" exit my HT slot and drop to the mirror. I kept it up and more came out. I finally got to a point where I figured I was done, and squeezed my muscles as it trying to get that last drop of pee out when going to the bathroom. One last small amount came out. Success at last!!!

I've read blogs that describe it as the ultimate orgasm, the shuddering, etc.. but I never felt that. I guess the best way to describe it is similar to when you really have to go to the bathroom and then when you finally get to go it's a relief, and it feels good to go, but not much beyond that.

The whole experience lasted probably 5 minutes or so, and then I cleaned everything up and took my shower. I was excited that it actually happened, and that I finally got to experience it, but then at the same time a certain amount of guilt came over me for having "cheated" on my wife. I wasn't really that horny anymore, which felt good in a way, but I was expecting to just feel a little less horny like I had read about. Because of this I began to worry a little that I had ruined my heightened arousal and with my wife coming home tonight I might not feel the same toward her as I would have before I did this. There was alot going on in my head.

Anyway, I went off to work and started my day when I got a phone call from my wife from her hotel. All my concerns quickly vanished as I heard her sweet voice and the upbeat conversation we had. She had a loving tone and when it was time to say goodbye she told me she loved me even before I could get the words out. That's something that never happens as she'll say it after I say it, and if I don't then she won't.

I can't wait for her to get home tonight.

[newbie]

I really think that the next few days, if not the next week will be sort of a culmination of where we're at in this whole chastity thing.

My wife will be coming home late and getting up early, and it IS Thursday night, so I am planning on being locked all night and possibly tomorrow as well since I have the day off. I know we'll be glad to see each other but besides some cuddling and maybe spooning, there won't be any other activities. I'll be locked so she may end up being aware of that. Who knows.

Friday will be spent working around the house while my wife is at work, so I'll be doing the normal cleaning and laundry as well as working on the new bathroom. I'll be sure to take the device off by the time she returns home since I want to get in the routine I spoke of before.

So I'll be free from Friday afternoon until Sunday evening, giving her ample opportunity to play with "her penis" if she want to, and of course I'll be initiating things like I normally do.

Sunday night I'll once again self lock so come Monday morning when we are forced to share our one bathroom now she'll be sure to see that I'm locked.

I guess I'm bringing this up because I feel that this routine of part time chastity is our best course of action right now. Showing her that I am not always locked away with my penis "in jail" or "closed for business" like she stated last weekend, but rather I have it available for her to use as she sees fit. On the flip side of that coin she will also become aware that during the week I am indeed locked up at night and in the morning with the intention of being able to perform on the weekends if the need arises (no pun intended...again).

In the past, the single most upsetting thing for her about me being in chastity was having me locked when she wanted access to it fir PIV or whatever. I feel she'll be more accepting of me being in chastity if she has access to what she wants when she needs it.

This should play out over the next week or so and I'll have a much better understanding of where we're at after that.

[newbie]

Just a quick update. I wore the HT all day Friday and then took it off in the afternoon as planned. Later in the evening I could tell she was all tired out from her trip and from working all day, and it was pretty obvious she would just be going to bed and wouldn't probably be in the mood to fool around, so I put the HT back on before I retired for the night.

In the morning we both awoke around the same time and just sort of layed there in bed. I woke with what was apparently a still-firm nocturnal erection, and laying next to my wife didn't help the situation... . I had already made the decision not to start any foreplay to see how she would react. It seems that when I initiate then it generally leads to sex, but if I don't then usually nothing happens. Since I am perfectly fine with not having an orgasm any time soon, and I know she just had one last Sunday, that this morning probably won't be "active". Sure enough, we layed there for a while and then got up to start the day. I'm currently still locked but will be taking it off shortly for our out of town trip this afternoon.

I'll leave it off today and tonight so that if she feeling horny in the morning she'll have full access to her penis. By Sunday evening I can foresee going back in the HT to start the work week schedule of wearing it every night.

[newbie]

We got home from being out of town pretty late on Saturday night so everyone just ended up going pretty much straight to bed. My wife and I fell asleep pretty quick and before I knew it it was morning. As I was laying there awake I rolled over to face my wife. She was still somewhat asleep but we both wrapped an arm over each other, and she pulled me in closer. She drew me in and my face was at the same level as her breasts. This felt great and could feel an erection growing down below.

As the morning progressed, I could help but initiate some gentle playing with her breasts and running my hands the length of her body. This gentle play soon had escillated into more forceful breast play. My wife really loves having her breasts squeezed and her nipples sucked so eventually that's where things progressed to. She removed her top and pants and I followed suit, and soon we were both naked laying against each other. I soon ran my hand down between her legs to find her very very wet. I played with her pussy as I continued to suck on her breasts, and it wasn't long before my licking her nipples combined with the vigorous rubbing of her pussy sent her into an extreme orgasm. Her body contorted as her back arched and I could hear her take a big gasp. Her juices really flowed and everything between her legs was soaked. While I had been playing with her pussy she had been rubbing her leg against my unlocked cock, which had actually stopped being hard from my concentrating on her pleasure.

When I knew she was done she reached over and grabbed my penis and started stroking it. The combination of being sensitive from being locked up, and the sexually charged environment brought me to orgasm in short order. I never achieved an erection as I shot my load onto my stomach. She got up and got me a towel and then jumped in the shower. As I lay there I was filled with both pleasure and anxiety as I had finally cum after 20 days without, and while it felt good I was bummed that it was starting over and that it ended so anti-climactically. It was over without so much as an erection to show for it. My limp penis just layed there having spent what it had, and I was left to clean up the mess.

My wife seemed ok with everything, but in someway I couldn't help feeling that it wasn't exactly what she had hoped for. The rest of the day started and she was in a good mood, but I was in some sort of a funk and felt apathetic toward just about everything. Later that afternoon I started to come out of my funk and began feeling like myself again.

Tonight I will relock for the night and plan on doing so for the rest of the workweek.

On thing I wanted to mention was that I had the house to myself on Friday so I took that opportunity to try my newly purchased dildo. I gave it the old "college try" but it wasn't long before I came to the conclusion that it just wasn't for me. I was hoping for a more serious prostate experience with it, but found it did nothing for that. I thought about how I had my first real milking session with my usual simple device and so I won't be using the dildo anymore. Its unfortunate that it didn't work, but at least I tried.

[newbie]

I still can't get out of this funk I seem to be in ever since the weekend. Our weekend was great and I was incredibly horny all weekend, right up until I came on Sunday morning. Ever since then I've just been feeling sort of blah about everything. I haven't started feeling horny again yet, and in fact I have sort of lost my desire/need to wear my chastity device anymore. I've gone thru something like this before, and I'm sure it will pass, so I have made it a point to put my device on every night before bed just to keep up my/our routine.

I moved where I store my device when it's not in use from my nightstand to my workshop downstairs. I mainly did this so that I don't have to disturb my wife at night if she happens to go to bed before I do, and would tend to become annoyed when I had to turn on a light and mess around opening the drawer and fiddling with the parts. While this new location might work, it's not ideal and time will tell if I keep it there.

As I said, I haven't even really felt like putting it on at night, although I still do because I think it's important to show my wife that I'm locked during the week but unlocked in case she needs me on the weekends. So in a way it's "for show" in a way since I don't feel like I need it right now. For instance this morning, she showered first and then left, I went in and as per usual I washed out my device and set it on top of the shower. As I was drying off stepping out of the shower she came walking on to finish and her eyes immediately spotted my device parts laying up there. It didn't seem to phase her and she went on with her business. I think this is important to demonstrate that I am in fact still wearing the device but am unlocked and available when she might want access.

I'll stick with what seems to be working for us right now and see where it leads.

[newbie]

I think I'm going to follow the lead of Jasmic68 and cut back on the intimate details of what goes on between my wife and I in the bedroom, and concentrate more on the how's and why's of our chastity journey.

Like most couples who both have jobs and kids and all the things that go with both, we don't lead the most exciting lives, and our sex life had begun to take a back seat to our hectic schedules. My wife has never really been that into having sex, so it wasn't all that rare for us to go a month or more between sessions. In these dark days we would fight about our lack of sex and I would resort to masturbation as a result.

I'm happy to say that it seems these days are behind us, and I haven't masturbated in a very long time. Also, I can't say for sure if it has anything to do with me becoming involved in chastity or not, but our love and intimacy have seemed to really blossom and it seems that she has become much more relaxed and open to being pleasured in the bedroom. I tend to start marking the calendar every time we have a session, and since I started keeping track (about 5 or 6 weeks ago) there hasn't been a week gone by that she hasn't had an orgasm. While these have all been either thru oral or using my fingers, each one has been intense and she doesn't seem to miss having PIV sex. I haven't been locked for all the times, and when I'm not I tend to benefit as well either by HJ or oral.

I guess my point to all this is that for whatever reason, chastity or not, my wife has come to enjoy having a weekly orgasm and it doesn't seem to matter to her how she gets there. She has really started enjoying oral sex (both receiving and giving, which she would never do before) and seems quite satisfied when it's over. In fact she now positions herself and physically guides me to go down on her when we're in bed, and it seems to be with an elevated level of anticipation. If I'm free and not locked then she will play with me when she's done, but has also been informed that it's not critical that she do that for me and how I would prefer to not cum and let the feelings build. While this is a foreign concept for her, she has shown signs of understanding my point and not feeling guilty for giving me pleasure like I had just given her.

Granted, we've been all over the map on the whole chastity concept, and I'm still pretty sure she doesn't care for the device but might be putting up with it because she knows it's important to me. I've tried to make her as comfortable as I can with the idea of me having something locked on my dock, and in doing so have hopefully showed her that it can be a part of our lives without becoming something that becomes the "600 pound gorilla in the room", becoming an uncomfortable issue that will drive a wedge between us.

I know this is a pretty rambling post, but hopefully it gives everyone who reads it a better understanding as to where my wife an I are in our relationship, especially our relationship with chastity.

[Jasmic68]

Bit of a shock to see me referenced at the beginning - I hope you don't think my post about overtly sexual references not doing anything for me was a complaint or anything, just my personal musings on how my tastes have changed.

With regards to masturbating I am pretty much 'cured' from wanting to do it. The simple fact is if I masturbated I would ruin the way I feel when I am denied for anything longer than two to three weeks, so I am not going to mess that up. If it only took a few days for the rampant hornyness to get started I might be tempted, but I am noticing it takes considerably longer than that.

For instance I had my last orgasm on Sunday which, after 35 days of denial, was ridiculously strong. Before the orgasm if my wife touched my back, thighs or bottom while we shared a shower I would nearly collapse from how intense the feelings were. After the orgasm she did it and I thought, hmmm, that's 'nice'.

With regards to feeling like you don't have an exciting life, chastity has cured me of those feelings as well. The closeness I now feel to my Wife means that our week to week life is something I treasure and look forward to. Simple things like going to the gym, shopping, watching a few tv programs in the evening, all now give me a lot of pleasure. I think the fact that you are managing to refocus your attention on your wife and the effect that is having is pretty damn amazing.

[newbie]

Jasmic68-Thanks for the post. Your Journey posts are about the only ones that I can really relate to. We seem to have the same perspective on chastity and how it affects us. Also, thanks for the encouragement.

It's funny how I don't masturbate anymore, and I think it has everything to do with not wanting to ruin the feelings I develop the longer I go without orgasm. It's pretty amazing how the smallest gesture, the simplest thing can get me going now. Take this morning for instance. The alarm went off as usual and woke me from a sound sleep. For the first time in quite a while, I awoke with a major erection straining against my device and stretching my sack to it's fullest. It didn't hurt at all, and it just seemed pleasurable, so I got up and hit the snooze bar. As I settled back into bed, my wife was still laying there, I noticed that she was facing away from me so I settled into her backside. My erection began to go down and as I felt it deflate I could tell the device was moving across her butt and I couldn't help but think she had to be feeling that. The alarm went off again and this time she got up and turned it off. She told me that we only had about 5 minutes so we can't fall back asleep. This time she was facing me and we both wrapped an arm over each other, with my arm going under her top. I gently rubbed her back as we layed there and she rubbed mine.

Eventually we had to get up, and start the day. She took a shower while I got the kids up, and then it was my turn. She was still in the bathroom, dressed already but doing her hair, etc. I walked in and stripped as we talked, still wearing the device. We chatted as I stepped into the shower, never skipping a beat. I removed and cleaned the device as I always do and put it up on top of the door. She was still there, blow drying her hair. I finished and stepped out, dried off and slipping my bottoms on. We chatted facing each other as I reached up, dried my device off, and put it in my pockets. No drama, no fanfare, just her and I enjoying each other's company with the device becoming more of our regular routine.

I know I wasn't going to go into too much detail, and hopefully I didn't here, but it's important to me to demonstrate how our dynamic seems to have changed. How the littlest things with my wife mean so much to me now. How I love her for her patients and trying to understand things I do. How we seem to be closer and more in love somehow. There is more touching and intimacy now, much more than before, and it doesn't always have to lead to sex.

Right now I am guardedly optimistic that she is beginning to see how chastity is improving our relationship with each other, and isn't some weird "kink of the month" that's only here for a short time.