[Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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Nat
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[Nat] Starting at the beginning...

Post by Nat »

I'm trying to think back to where it all started for me as my KH asked the other night what started this all off.
One of the first things I remember reading was Sarah Jameson's blog followed by Mistress Ivey's and this forum. I cant remember what lead me to read them though. It was a bit of a uricka moment, that I do remember. That was about a year ago now and it has taken 8 months to get to a stage where I can put my hand on my heart and say my orgasms are now controlled by my keyholder. I guess it has taken an enormous amount of patients but it has all been 100% worth it and for anyone out there who doesn't ever think it will happen for them, take heart as it will if you play your cards right and have patience.
That's it for now but hope to expand further into how I got what I wished for and more...
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Nat
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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So I guess I need to start with bringing you up to date as to how I got what I wished for. As I said in my previous post it took about 8 months.

Rewind to the day I had to breach the subject of chastity with my wife, its the day most men dread as you have to go all in, because there is no going back after you have laid your heart on the line. Well it seams like that at the time. Its the day you have to face though, as the pain and frustration of not getting what you want, tips you inevitably towards asking. Its the most gut churning moment as you pluck up the courage and have your words and explanations all ready, only to forget the whole lot as you speak the first sentence! To make matters worse for me (and my keyholder) I picked the very day she hit menopause...

I quickly realised my timing was a little 'off', so had to step the whole process back to accommodate my wife as my priorities changed. It was one of the most disappointing times of the whole process to build up the courage, only for the timing to be so very wrong... Patience, empathy with understanding is what is required.

Fast forward 4-5 months and my wife has better control of all the usual ailments that come with menopause the worst of which is general anxiety disorder. A term I'm all too familiar with now. I'm better able to understand her and what she is going through and feel able to broach the subject of chastity again. We sit down and have a long uninterrupted discussion about the whole thing, warts and all. I remember feeling guilty asking her to do this for me after what she had gone through and expecting her to reject the whole thing as too much of a chore. By the way if there are any keyholders reading this then it shouldn't be a chore. If it is you sub is doing something wrong in my opinion. We agree to give chastity, tease and denial a go. I feel like I'm the happiest guy alive, the relief was overwhelming but at the back of my mind was that we were on the very first step of a shaky ladder and I had to tread with care. The temptation is to bombard your potential keyholder with links to web sites, literature and videos as your pent up fantasy becomes achingly close. I realised I had to stay patient and take baby steps. At the risk of writing a novel and boring the reader I will just bullet point some stand out moments along in the last couple of months to bring you up to date.

· The day my wife agreed to give chastity a try.
· The first time she clicked the lock closed on my CD.
· The first time I saw her with the key around her neck.
· The first time she teased me by tying me to the bed and then denied me an orgasm. Then afterwards admitting she was extremely turned on by it.
· The first time I gave her an orgasm while locked up the whole time.
· The first time I received a sexual task to do while I was working away.
· The first time she deliberately wore sexy lingerie only to kiss me good night with a laugh and a 'sweet dreams'.
· The first time she refused to let me touch her while I was teased.
· The first time she asked me to email her all my fantasies while working away.
· The first time I realised she was completely comfortable with the whole tease and denial thing and I could relax and beg for release as much as I wanted knowing she wouldn't allow me an orgasm unless she wanted.
· The first time she told me that she could see the benefits of not letting me orgasm and that she may never let me have another.
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Nat
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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Part II

My main reason for wanting to write about my journey is so I have somewhere to look back on all the incredible things that have happened while in chastity. The last month in particular things have gained momentum and really got to that perfect stage of getting what you initially thought chastity would give you. It is now far better than I imagined was possible and I have been close to tears quite a few times now.
I work away from home quite regularly and we have had to adapt our lifestyle accordingly. I'm working at reducing the time we spend apart as best as possible as I see it will prevent us getting the most out of life together. Thats one thing chastity has taught me. Just before I came home from my last trip away, which was 4 weeks, my KH said to me 'I want you locked up as soon as you get home'. That to me was a really big moment, up until then I felt she hadn't fully embraced my cock being in a cage.
The night before I was due home we spoke on the phone, she said 'dont think because you haven't been allowed an orgasm for a couple of weeks and have been away I will give you one when you get home'. I just gulped on the other end of the phone and agreed it was totally up to her. Wow, she really is getting good at this, I thought. To her credit the morning I arrived home after a long flight things were very normal. I showered and as asked put on my cage. I was really aroused thinking about her the entire journey home. This continued until I couldn't keep my hands off her any longer. We were on the sofa and I started to touch and kiss her. We had been talking about all the feelings that chastity had given us both. When she told me that it had got her aroused I couldn't take it any longer... I kissed my way down her body and removed her jeans and underwear. It didn't take long to bring her to orgasm. She was incredibly wet and responsive to my touch. I felt like I was in heaven...literally. At that moment I didn't think it could possibly get any better than that. Boy was I wrong.

Later that night we were getting ready for bed, she looked incredible as she always does. I remember thinking that it was like looking at her for the first time over 26 years previously. I was lying on the bed waiting for her to finish doing what she was doing thinking, what's in store? My expectations were high since I had been away for so long but kept having to remind myself I might not get anything.
She slipped on a very cute and sexy two piece nighty. The way she looked at me I knew she was doing everything deliberately for me. I couldn't keep my eyes off her. We began by stroking and caressing each other. I was instantly aroused in my cage. She played with me for a while, until I was aching to get out. Then she leaned over and told me that I'm not allowed to touch her any more or I wouldn't get anything else. I agreed and she produced the key and unlocked me. It felt incredible to be allowed out, even after such a short time in, but having to resist the urge to touch my wife as she went to town on my cock and balls with the lube took every ounce of self restraint. She kept telling me how well I was doing and that made me feel great and quite subservient to her. I was starting to get a bit delirious with all the emotions running around in me. I think she picked up on that really well as she stopped teasing me in that way and told me to count to 60. While I tried to count to 60- I honestly lost count twice, as she sat across from me and played with herself. I had admitted that was one of my fantasies a while before but she had never felt comfortable enough to do it, so to see her there very much in charge of the situation blew my mind. Once I had reached 60 My hands were all over her as I laid next to her. To feel the warmth of her body next to mine after all that time away was out of this world. After a while I went down on her once again to give her a few orgasms. My heart was thumping as she came repeatedly in my mouth. I just couldn't get enough.
I have to say it took a long while for me to calm down enough to go back in my cage. I literally had to think of the most tedious things to take my mind of what had just happened. My whole body was on a high though. I had a really restless sleep but in the morning still felt fantastic. My wife was still asleep so I got up to do the usual chores feeling incredibly lucky to have experienced something so special. I had waited over 8 months for chastity to give me that experience and it was so worth waiting for.
After an hour I took a coffee up to my wife. We sat in bed drinking and just smiling and grinning like idiots at each other, crazy. Once I had finished my coffee my hands began to roam her body. I know she likes being caressed like that and was very happy to give her all the pleasure she wanted. I felt such love, love that I had never felt so strongly before. It was as if every fibre of my entire being, belonged to her. I told her how I felt as best I could as I stroked her body. After about 20 minutes of caressing I was allowed to give her another orgasm. I had lost count of hers now but I still hadn't had one for over 2 weeks, but I had never been happier or felt more loved. Just incredible.
After breakfast she got dressed and I couldn't believe what happened. She pulled out the sexiest lingerie set and slipped it on. She turned to me and said 'Is this your favourite set?' All I could say was 'It is now'. I also couldn't believe that she had bought a tight little black dress just to tease me in. As I helped her with the zip at the back, I still dont know how I managed to keep my hands off her. All day we were together in the house and she never let an opportunity go by to tease me in it. Even when I was on the phone to my parents!
As you can imagine by bed time I was just a gibbering wreck. I hardly knew what I was doing but she did... She let me out of my cage. I was teased for quite a while, again not being allowed to touch her. (I was beginning to regret telling her how much that turned me on!) Then with one hand on my cock and the other fondling my ass she began to ask me what I was thinking and fantasizing about. I couldn't do anything but spill the beans entirely, something I had never done before. I said I had fantasies about the butt plug we had bought about a month previously but never used. 'Really' she said sounding quite please with my answer because from under the pillow she produced the item in question. Without hesitation she lubed it up and calmly worked it all the way in. At this stage I was on sensory overload. I had been teased so much at this stage that my cock was becoming insensitive and a little saw but as soon as she straddled me and I felt my cock slip inside her all those thoughts vanished. She said 'dont you dare cum now, and dont move'. I had to think of everything and anything to prevent myself from orgasm. I badly wanted my wife to get her orgasm from penetration because I was worried that was the one thing I couldn't give her while in chastity. I thought she must miss that part and up until then I hadn't been able to last long enough for her to orgasm first. I think because I was a bit desensitized it helped prevent my getting taken over the edge. In the past we have had a few times where she has got carried away with her own orgasm and in the throws of that allowed me to cum- but not that night. She told me afterwards she had three orgasms while I was inside her. Once she had cum she told me she wanted me to cum too. I think it was quite pathetic as I lasted about 10 seconds before I came so very hard it almost hurt. Holy cow it was good. We were both worried about how I would behave after being allowed an orgasm and I have to admit it was more difficult to go back in my cage afterwards but it was the right thing for my KH to do.
The next day was quite normal as we had lots of household chores to get on with. That night we had a long chat about the previous night and previous days antics, we both admitted that we must be going through a honeymoon period as it would be impossible to keep up this kind of momentum long term. We recognise that but are enjoying it non the less.
That conversation was three days ago, since then she has teased me visually and verbally but not physically. Then yesterday morning out of the blue she says that she wants me to remove my cage. I ask why and she just says because I deserve a day off for being so good to her and that we are going out for the day in town and it would be nice. It felt nice to be so appreciated.
We had a great time in town and she had me chose some lingerie for her to tease me in. I think that might be why she let me out of my cage as I did get aroused in the shop when she kept asking my opinion on all the items. She knows exactly how much lingerie turns me on. It always has but the difference now is she always wear the good stuff!
Needless to say last night was quite an extended tease and denial session. One highlight I have to share, She used the head of my cock to rub her clit with and bring her to orgasm. That was extremely frustrating and highly erotic for me. Its amazing how an hour and a half can fly by... My KH is getting so good at edging me now, she knows exactly how close I am from the edge. Another first last night though. She got me so close that a couple of drops of cum dribbled out. Not quite a ruined orgasm. She looked at me with a very stern expression and said 'clean that up'. Even though we had never talked about cum eating I wiped it up with my fingers and ate it in front of her. Again straight back in my cage afterwards...after much cold water.

So thats all up to date. I hope I can now continue in a bit more detail. It's amazing how one tease session can be more powerful than the last so it blurs it. At the time you think it will never be bettered. I want to be able to remember every delicious little detail.
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Nat
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

Post by Nat »

It was a 'normal' day yesterday, so far as having your cock locked in a cage is normal. Perhaps that's one of the attraction to all this- It makes everyday abnormal? My KH and I decided it was time to invest in a custom fit device, so after much internet browsing decided on a Jailbird from Mature Metal. Does it really take 6-8 weeks for delivery? If so it should be here before Christmas? The Ebay copy I currently have has been OK for the price I paid but I have had to make it fit better by using polymorph plastic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOVwwLxlbFI
Because I work away from home, while I am home I dont have to work. Just the usual household stuff. Its been great to get some direction from my KH on what she wants doing around the place. Previously I would do my own thing, which of course I'm perfectly capable of doing but it puts a better slant on things if I know my KH has asked me to do them. Its a far cry from Dom/slave but its enough to remind me of our new relationship.
Last night my KH got changed for bed early and came back down wearing some of the new lingerie we bought the other day. It was just to tease me of course but she did allow me to fondle her for a bit before closing her robe and telling me 'Thats enough'. Bed time came and I knew she wasn't in any kind of mood to play with me but she did spoon me, wiggling her bum in my crotch until I was straining in my cage. Once she was satisfied I was suitably aroused she wished me good night! The confidence she has in herself now is just unbelievable. In the past she would feel awkward if she new I was ogling her while getting undressed but now she deliberately flaunts her sexuality at me, knowing that nothing will happen unless she wants it to. I guess in the past I would have taken it as a red flag to a bull and dived straight in! Oh how times have changed...for the better. The transformation is hard to believe. I'm so grateful.
Oh yes something I forgot to say in one of my previous posts was that we dont have a contract but we do have rules and one of those is that I'm not allowed to look at anything deliberately designed to arouse. This includes Literature, photos and video. I guess some parts of this site would come under that? I will have to ask her. This rule came into effect about 6 weeks ago. As a consequence I find I only fantasies about my KH now. All erotic thoughts are focused on her. She fills my head with what she wants. It has made our bond even stronger and for any keyholders out there I would recommend trying it for yourself.
Well its a start of another 'normal' day, so I better get on...
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

Post by Nat »

PtIV
Yesterday was interesting. I was quite happily watching my wife get dressed in the morning after our first coffee of the day when she turns to me and says 'You should wear a pair of these today', holding up a pair of her panties. 'Really', was all I could muster completely taken aback. 'Yes try a pair on'. So I did but she didn't want the ones I had chosen and gave me some others to wear. It was obvious she had put some thought into this before and did admit later on that she had planned it the day before. It was no coincidence that my parents were coming over later that day for dinner...
I felt very vulnerable and submissive while wearing them but at the same time it made me feel quite sexual. As if my cage wasn't reminder enough that I was under her control now I had her panties riding up my bum all the time.
While I had my hands full cooking I told my KH how vulnerable I felt, as if I was naked somehow. She immediately came over and gave me a wedgie, which was nice! When I told her ever time I went to the bathroom I started to get a hard on, she said 'well I'll have to get you to wear them more often then'. I grew a little bit in my cage when she said that. All day, when ever I went outside I thought everyone was looking at me and my KH certainly had a lot of fun teasing me over it.
We had rather a lot to drink that night, more than normal so when it came time to go to bed and get undressed I didn't feel awkward. When she saw me walking around the bedroom in just her panties she said 'you can take then off now'. That was the end of that.
She did say it would give me lots to write about in my blog and she was right as usual.
So far today has been very normal.
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Nat
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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One thing that has been on my mind is how much chastity has been a great equalizer in my relationship with my wife. Before I made the vast majority of decisions in our life from finances, to car purchases, to holiday destinations etc as well as all the work stuff that keeps me busy. After years of this I think I felt a certain resentment that all the decisions seamed to have to be made by me. This included our love life. I was also resentful that I was the one who always initiated our love making.
I'm glad to say that is all in the past as my KH and wife now takes responsibility for our love life and this has spilled over into our day to days lives too. Chastity has taught me to be so much more empathetic to my wife. I always put her first and respect her so much more than I did for giving me what I wished for. I know she reads this 'blog' so hope she agrees with me?
One thing I forgot to mention in my last post was that at the end of the day she said to me 'I never thought I would do anything like that', after making me wear her underwear all day.
Tonight she asked me to get her a coffee. I jokingly replied 'Your taking it for granted arn't you?' to which she said 'If you want to get out of your cage you'll get me one!'
It was the first time she had hinted at any type of punishment and I loved that. I have to ask myself why.
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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There can be a preoccupation with the device that keeps you in chastity rather than the emotions that it gives you. Its just an observation rather than a criticism. For me the device is secondary, maybe because I haven't had many issues while wearing one.

Me and my KH have complete trust in one another and sometimes that can lead to misunderstandings. For example my KH let me out last night for a shower and shave etc. She did say to me before I went up stairs- 'Behave yourself'', which of course she knew I would as I am a man of my word but of course that leads to the thought 'why do I need a device if I keep my word?' It would have been nice if she had come up just to check I was behaving. While I work away there is a lot of times that we have to use the honor system for practical reasons and I am happy with that as long as I'm checked on from time to time. For me the device represents a commitment to keeping my KH in mind at all times. Its pretty difficult to ignore my device and although I haven't had many issues with it there haven't bean many times I have forgotten I'm wearing one. The feeling of knowing the only way I can get it off, is when my KH decides, does give me great feelings of servitude and humility. Its that little skip your heart gives when something slips from your hands and you instinctively catch it, before it smashes to the floor.

I have toyed with the idea of deliberately being 'naughty' to see what my KH does but I would be being a bit of an idiot if I did, as she might be pushed out of her comfort zone and I would jeopardize what we already have which is wonderful. I recognize that it is still early days for us both. If you eat all your cake at once you will be spectacularly sick!
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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Oh boy last night was a surprise. Neither of us had been feeling very well all day and I was expecting to get an early night in, but when it came to bed time my KH had other ideas. She let me out for a very lengthy tease and eventual denial session after a long long time she gave me a ruined O. She is getting so good at predicting how close I am to the edge and took great delight in taking me for a look over the edge repeatedly. I even tried to remain expressionless to see if I could sneak in an O but she was just too good at reading my expressions. After an hour I was ready to throw the towel in and beg her to stop.
This was the first time she had properly ruined my orgasm and it left me writhing on the bed in frustration. When I started to rub myself up her leg like some horny mongrel, she really started to laugh at my frustration and told me quite sternly to stop it. I said 'your enjoying this too much' and she just laughed 'I love it, this is what you wanted wasn't it?'. What do you say to that? I just mumbled 'Yes'. Later she said that she had planned it the day before which made me feel so grateful that she still thought of me even when feeling under the weather. She did say it had cured her headache but I suggested that we dont use this cure in public!
I still think she wants to punish me because one time I lent over to the side stand to get some lube and she gave me a couple of really hard whacks on my bare bum. That got my attention. I asked her if she wanted to punish me and she said 'possibly' with the kind of look that left me in no doubt she wanted to but just needs an excuse. The other day we were in the saddlers and she mentioned again about picking up a riding crop. Those things must really hurt.
I love the way we can freely talk about our experiences. Even while out for a meal or in the local cafe. It doesn't seam like any time or location is off limits which gives a sense of 'anything can happen'.
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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The last couple of days have been very normal and to be honest it has been nice to get some perspective on the previous weeks of living in some kind of fantasy.
Last night out of the blue my KH let me out of my cage just to give me a bit of a tease. It was just long enough for me to think I was in for a proper session when she wished me good night. Simple but effective. She did tell me to go back in my cage first thing in the morning. I think she let me out as she knows I sleep better without it. This morning I got up earlier than my KH and put my cage back on after my shower. It was so nice when she said 'your a good boy for going back in your cage without me asking'. It made me feel like she was very much in charge and although it was quite playful it did make me feel submissive too.
When putting her laundry away this morning she came across the panties she made me wear the other day. She held them up and said 'these are yours now!'. I didn't know what to say but I was very turned on and even writing this now I'm trying to get hard in my cage thinking that she might make me wear them again.
While we were out shopping today she pointed out that we will have the house all to ourselves next week. This is significant because she has said she wants to restrain me for longer periods and make me work around the house naked. I sure she thinks about chastity play more than I do now. The next couple of days will be interesting.
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Re: [Nat] Starting at the beginning...

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OMG where to start. The next couple of days...more like the next couple of hours. I still cant believe what just happened and cant get to sleep until I have written something down. Talk about BCWYWF.
As soon as the house was 'ours' my KH told me to strip naked in front of her to receive my punishment for 4 indiscretion's earlier that day. These were to do with laundry and the dishes. I wont bore you with the details...
Once naked I felt extremely vulnerable as if everyone was watching what was happening. My hearing was totally tuned into anyone coming into the house. It was quite scary. My KH then told me to bend over the footstool in the family room, where she then produced a butt plug and the lube. I was beginning to guess, incorrectly, what was going to happen. Then she took off her robe to reveal her sexiest lingerie. It hardly registered, if I'm honest as I felt so exposed bent over the foot stool totally naked except for my cage. Then she proceeded to lube up my ass and slide the plug all the way in. I was desperately trying to relax so nothing went wrong. I didn't know how I was meant to feel as my mind kept darting around from one extreme to another of fear, excitement and expectation. After the plug was in she produced a paddle. Now I knew this was going to come at some stage but nothing really prepared me for the feeling of utter submission. I wanted to relax and enjoy the experience but there was so many thoughts going through my head I couldn't.

My KH asked me if I knew what I had done wrong and why I was being punished. I replied that I did and was made to repeat the reasons. That was nerve wracking as the whole time she was stroking my ass with the paddle, so I was tense to say the least. When I had finished, the first whack landed. It smarted but wasn't too painful. Again I wasn't sure how I should feel but it was exciting. I wasn't hard though. After the four whacks I was a little tender but not in any kind of pain. It did feel erotic to a degree but in the back of my mind I was worried about being discovered. I think that kind of clouded the feelings I should have had? I'm not sure as I haven't anything to compare it with, this being my first punishment experience.

After my punishment my KH released me from my cage while I remained bent over the foot stool. She then went to town on my ass, cock and balls. She knelt to my side as if milking a goat it was so belittling. She was totally dominating me. Stroking and pushing on the plug and working my shaved balls in one hand and my cock in the other it was more than I could take. Within minutes she had ruined my orgasm. I thought that was it but after about 30 seconds she started on me again. I said I couldn't take it any more and was going to come. She said OK then cum- but be quick! This completely threw me as I wasn't expecting an orgasm, then I thought this is a trick and she will stop, then I thought I wasn't going to be able to come... Honestly I was in bits with so many thoughts going through my mind.
I know what your probably thinking, but Yes I did manage to cum. Strangely though it didn't feel as if I had a full on orgasm as I was under pressure to perform. I did shake and shiver for a couple of minutes afterwards...much to my KH amusement. Then straight afterwards she made me put my cage back on in front of her. That is something she has never done before. I felt very submissive doing that for some reason, like a naughty school boy.

My KH has turned into a goddess in my eyes. I cant believe she planned all that for me. When I started out and asked for this I didn't think anything like this would ever happen. Unbelievable.

I have to spoil her tomorrow.
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