[orinthsone] Yet Another Chastity Journal

[orinthsone]

"Make a journal," she said. "If I have authority to give orders, that's an order." Hence, my journal.

Three days ago, I was locked in a chastity cage. The say about when it might come off belongs to a very dear friend of mine who agreed to hold the key. The situation is just about as simple as that.

Realistically, I could take it off anytime I want. But if I did, I couldn't hide the fact that I did. If I take it off, I will come to regret it (if the game even continues at all). The way she put it: "It would be Serious Business." And that's exactly the way I want it.

I've been interested in chastity devices for many years. I did not know they were a contemporary phenomenon, or that they had ever been made for men, until maybe a dozen years ago, but I've been practically obsessed with the idea ever since. I tried plastic devices a couple of times, but they didn't fit and didn't work. Two or three years ago, I ordered a custom-fit metal chastity cage with all the options. (Well, most of the options, anyway. It's a Jail Bird by Mature Metal, for the curious.) It was much, much better, but I did not have a keyholder. And my life wasn't in a place where I could seek one. And I had some chafing and comfort issues when I wore it longer than a few hours. And it wasn't truly secure anyway; I would need to get a piercing for that. Although I never forgot about it, I put it aside.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. For whatever reason, my chastity cage was on my mind, and I decided to see if I could ride my bike while it was on. I was surprised: It went perfectly well. No discomfort at all. I got excited. For the first time in a long time, I thought of long-term chastity as a practical possibility. I had to tell someone. I told Ms. Jilly.

"Are you looking for a keyholder?" she asked.

I've known Ms. Jilly for almost 10 years, I think. We are Internet friends. She lives on the other side of the country. I visited her once, a few years back. All the same, she is one of my closest friends. Really, the closest. And I am one of her closest friends. We confide in each other about all kinds of things. Like, for example, my chastity fetish. We had discussed her being my keyholder a couple times before. "Consensual nonconsent" didn't seem to appeal to her at the time, and she didn't even seem to have a sustained interest in BDSM in general. Recently, she has started to explore her sexually dominant side and has been looking for subs. Before she asked me that question, I hadn't guessed that she would have had a change of heart.

But she had. "I've embraced my Goddess nature." She likes control.

I pose a question for her: "I would trust you to let me out if I really needed to be let out. But would you be willing to say 'no' even at times I'm finding it challenging?"

"Yes," she answered without hesitating. It was the absolutely hottest thing she could possibly have said to me.

I have a "security screw" and a key for it. I also have an extra hole that allows for a plastic padlock seal. She asked me if I could pull out. I admit that I could, but my balls would remain trapped. We had some discussion about getting me a Prince Albert for true security. She thinks the idea is really hot, but said, "One step at a time."

I honestly don't think I could have dreamed of a better person to hold my key, and I was finding her to be completely on board.

For the next week, I wore the device on my own terms to work out the kinks. I wore it in different kinds of pants. I wore it at work, at the grocery store, and around my folks. I exercised in it, showered in it, and slept in it. I fixed all my comfort issues with new underwear. I determined that I needed a smaller base ring, but the modification could wait a bit. Otherwise, there was no practical reason I couldn't start wearing the chastity device 24/7.

Over that week, we discussed boundaries a little bit. I want the ability to get out quickly and on my own in case of an emergency. But I don't want the ability to do it without her finding out, because I do want this to be real. I mentioned that I can't really handle public humiliation. Other than that, though, I want this to be completely on her terms. She said that makes her happy.

Ms. Jilly and I also talked a bit about our relationship. It's a new direction we're taking. We agreed that we would be building on our friendship, not replacing it. We would be opening doors, not closing them. The bond we already have is something we both cherish, and neither of us is willing to give that up.

I dropped one of the keys in the mail to her. I told her I was ready to hand over control. Her Internet was out, so we planned to do it while on the phone. I kept myself horny all day. She put her daughter to bed and then called me. She invited me to enjoy one last come before lockup, but I was self-conscious and declined. She warned me that she had no idea yet how long I was going to be locked up: "It could be a day, or it could be a month." I still declined. I waited until my cock got soft enough, put the cage on, screwed the security screw in, and then secured it with a numbered plastic seal. I emailed her a photo of it. It was now real.

I slept without problems. I woke up once or twice with my dick trying to get hard and causing me some discomfort, but I was expecting that. I went to the office and had a good day. I was noticing breasts a lot more, and I was very aware of my cock. It tried to get hard repeatedly, which I noticed very keenly because of the pressure it caused, and seemed to have no control over it. The thought of masturbation haunted me several times in the morning. In the afternoon, I caught myself fantasizing about a blowjob while putting files away. It was an interesting day.

The next day started out okay, but by the afternoon, I was no longer enjoying my predicament. I began to miss my cock. You know how if you wear shoes all day, even comfortable shoes, and especially if you then fall sleep still wearing them, you just feel like you need to take your shoes and socks off and let them relax and breathe? My cock felt like that. I wasn't even thinking about sexual pleasure; I just wanted to hold it and squeeze it. Maybe I wanted to reassure myself that it was still there. I started to think about asking Ms. Jilly for some free time. I didn't, but the thought occurred to me. I had not given up on the experience, but I was wondering if the experience had nothing more enjoyable in it for me. I was getting a little depressed, I think.

Last night, I had a tougher time. My cock was trying harder to get hard, and it was a little bit painful. I woke up repeatedly to go to the bathroom and pee. I thought I understood that this part was supposed to get easier rather than harder with time, but I guess not right away.

This morning, I called into work sick and stayed in bed. I told Ms. Jilly my experience was not so enjoyable anymore, but I did not ask for my situation to change. But then something interesting happened. Ms. Jilly updated her sub-hunting profile and let me look at it, and it now contained this statement: "I have a boy in chastity now, and I have found myself enjoying the experience." Immediately and for no other reason than that, I started appreciating my predicament. If Ms. Jilly's getting something out of enforcing my chastity, then, apparently, so am I. It wasn't even a very emphatic statement, but it made all the difference to me. I'm eager to talk to her more about her side of the experience.

And that's where I'm currently at.

[orinthsone]

I'm mad. I wrote a whole post, clicked on "Preview," and what I saw was the login screen again. My whole post was gone.

That's not the only reason I'm frustrated. Friday was easy; I didn't even think about my chastity cage most of the day. I was engaged with my work. I thought I had hit a turning point. Yesterday I hit a different kind of turning point. I was pleasantly aroused all day, but things began to get more intense in the evening. I was starting to wonder if an long-distance keyholder was such a good idea, because I really wanted to be with her. To touch her and be touched by her.

Ms. Jilly and I spoke yesterday evening about anal penetration and prostate milking. I was curious to try it. I had permission for "anal insertion" yesterday, but I chose not take advantage of it. I was waiting to ask if she wanted to participate somehow. She did, but not yet. She wasn't feeling well, and her Internet was slow. She asked me to wait.

By the end of the conversation, I was horny. I could feel a tingly pressure deep behind my perinium, where the root of my cock and my prostrate were. I should have focused on something different. Instead, I let myself do things that I often do when I'm horny. Like looking at sexy pictures on the Internet. Like window shopping for fetish equipment and sex toys. When I was too tired to do that, I put on a porn movie to watch while I drifted to sleep. I remember complaining in my head that the chastity cage really was a sadistic little device. I felt like I was at the plateau stage of sex. I would not have been able to stop myself from masturbating to completion but for the cage.

When I woke up this morning, my arousal was much less intense, but it was still there. It hasn't subsided. It has waxed a little and waned a little throughout the morning, but it's still here. My balls have been achy. I'm past the level of denial that I could have experienced without help, now. It's a wonderful experience, in a way, but I can see how it could drive a man insane.

I need to get on with my day now. It's past noon, and I have things that I need to get done. I hope being busy will help.

[Atone]

I'm mad. I wrote a whole post, clicked on "Preview," and what I saw was the login screen again. My whole post was gone.

Next time that happens hit the back button on your browser. I haven't had this happen recently but in the past I would get this occasionally, that worked to get it back every time (for me).

[orinthsone]

I'm mad. I wrote a whole post, clicked on "Preview," and what I saw was the login screen again. My whole post was gone.

Next time that happens hit the back button on your browser. I haven't had this happen recently but in the past I would get this occasionally, that worked to get it back every time (for me).

I tried that; it didn't work for me.

[Tom Allen]

I'm mad. I wrote a whole post, clicked on "Preview," and what I saw was the login screen again. My whole post was gone.

Next time that happens hit the back button on your browser. I haven't had this happen recently but in the past I would get this occasionally, that worked to get it back every time (for me).

I strongly recommend to anyone typing more than a couple of paragraphs to compose in Google Documents or some other online document editor (like a blog editor) because they regularly update as you're typing. I will often fire up WordPress just to compose a longish post, and then copypasta into the forum.

[Locked by LRC]

I also do what Tom said. When I'm working on a longer post I'll do it in Word, then paste here.

I've often lost a post/reply here when I preview. For some reason it just hiccups. I've fixed that by copying the post before I preview. Then if it's lost, just paste back.

[orinthsone]

I'm mad. I wrote a whole post, clicked on "Preview," and what I saw was the login screen again. My whole post was gone.

Next time that happens hit the back button on your browser. I haven't had this happen recently but in the past I would get this occasionally, that worked to get it back every time (for me).

I strongly recommend to anyone typing more than a couple of paragraphs to compose in Google Documents or some other online document editor (like a blog editor) because they regularly update as you're typing. I will often fire up WordPress just to compose a longish post, and then copypasta into the forum.

That's good advice. Thank you.

[locked4her55]

I'm mad. I wrote a whole post, clicked on "Preview," and what I saw was the login screen again. My whole post was gone.

Next time that happens hit the back button on your browser. I haven't had this happen recently but in the past I would get this occasionally, that worked to get it back every time (for me).

I strongly recommend to anyone typing more than a couple of paragraphs to compose in Google Documents or some other online document editor (like a blog editor) because they regularly update as you're typing. I will often fire up WordPress just to compose a longish post, and then copypasta into the forum.

This method is also good for spell check purposes.

[TwistedMister]

Before hitting 'Submit'- Ctrl-A (select all), Ctrl-C (copy). Cheap insurance, only costs a couple seconds of time.

[MsJilly]

I'm sorry for your frustration... mostly about the loss of an entry. The other part, well, frustration is part of the chastity experience, yes? If you give your key to a Goddess, you have to be prepared to live with her whims.

I'll be around for chats tonight, though. And thank you for updating your journal as I asked you to.