[chastehub] better husband, better lover

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chastehub
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Re: [chastehub] better husband, better lover

Post by chastehub »

Dang...issues with hot spots continue.

i did get through being caged in the JB for 7 days straight, and it was an amazing experience not being able to touch myself or have an erection during that entire time. That was a first for me. But toward the end i had another hot spot -- they always occur in the same location -- and i finally had to be let out to take care of it. Also, the last 2 times, while the hot spot felt very localized (there was a visible small sore in the skin where it hurt), when i removed the ring i found a one inch long -- not sure what to call it -- thin little cut? split? in the skin where the ring sits. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

i inspected the basering more closely to see if something is causing the "cut" and irritation, and although i didn't see any obvious rough spots or defects, i used my dremel to wire brush the ring smooth and am locked back up to try again.

Finally, our play has been limited recently due to a back injury i suffered. Things are improving slowly so i'm hoping the cage problems and back issues resolve soon and we can get back to more serious play.
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Sincerely,

chastehub
-------------------------------
If you have 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow
Locked off and on...mostly on...in MM JB since 10Jan14,
newtochast57
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Re: [chastehub] better husband, better lover

Post by newtochast57 »

chasethub: I found the info in your posts very informative in regards to dealing with the problems with wearing a cb. You indicated you and your kh had issues in the beginning as a result of you topping from the bottom. I appreciate you sharing this information so that hopefully I can avoid the same problems. One thing your referred to in some of your posts was that you and your kh had a contract. I have searched this site and numerous other sites and the only copies of contracts I have been able to find all involve chastity and some other form of fetish ie; pegging, punishment, sissification, wlm/flr etc. I intend to approach my wife to put the idea of chastity to her, however I want to limit it to just chastity otherwise it would be to much for her to accept and I would be quite happy if that is all we ever do(other things could be introduced if my wife wishes to later on). I was wondering if you or any other member would be willing to share their contract with me so I can draft one to show my wife.
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chastehub
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Re: [chastehub] better husband, better lover

Post by chastehub »

@newtochast57 i'm glad you have found my posts helpful. i went looking for the electronic copy of our contract and found i have misplaced the (password protected) flash drive i had that stored on. i will look for that, but in the meantime, our contract is much simpler now than it was initially.

We originally had specifics about time intervals i would be locked up, punishments for misbehavior, etc. That put a lot of pressure on Her, there was too much accounting involved, and it took away Her control of the situation...the calendar decided when i should be unlocked. Now there are no time periods, She decides.

There are expectations on things i'm to do around the house, and while that list was long at the start, She took back many of chores because She likes to do them. i still have specific chores, including getting Her breakfast daily (i like helping Her start Her day in a pleasant way, and include love notes on Her napkin), making the bed, etc. There are also expectations about how i should treat Her, always with respect and as a gentleman. If i start to get out of line (arguing with Her, being rude, etc.) She has a code word She can say to remind me She's in charge; upon hearing that word i am to immediately correct my behavior. She has yet to use it, but it is there. And there is a provision that She can ask me to do things for Her at anytime, and i'm always to do those things in a timely and cheerful way.

There are no punishments or rewards for doing or not doing the things above...but obviously whether i do or don't do those things affects Her mood. Since she decides, so it is in my best interest to keep her happy.

Lastly, there is an appendix that describes things i enjoy and would like Her to do, but again, She decides. That was included because She hates being "mean," but i would enjoy more teasing, so i wanted Her to know the kinds of things i would love Her try. She has tried a few of those things, and i'm hoping over time She'll try the others.

i hope that helps. i would just draft something, and then sit down with her and a red pen and capture both of your hopes and expectations for your chastity play. Good luck!
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Sincerely,

chastehub
-------------------------------
If you have 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow
Locked off and on...mostly on...in MM JB since 10Jan14,
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Michele
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Re: [chastehub] better husband, better lover

Post by Michele »

Chastehub,

Our first one had the intervals and all that too, but we've changed it 3 times now. :) it still has a lot of info in it but changed that kind of stuff so we go at our pace! :) in the beginning I was paranoid about the milking and all that lol.
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newtochast57
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Re: [chastehub] better husband, better lover

Post by newtochast57 »

Thanks "chasthub" and "LadynMonkey for the reply. Our first contract will have some guidelines with timelines simply for the reason that this will be totally new to my wife and I will make it simpler an less stressful for her. There will be a provision that once she has the keys that she will have total command on intervals, however the timelines are still there until she is more comfortable.
There are no punishments or rewards for doing or not doing the things above...but obviously whether I do or don't do those things affects Her mood. Since she decides, so it is in my best interest to keep her happy.
I like the idea of no punishments or rewards as again it places less stress on my wife having to do something that she is not comfortable with. Obviously if I want to continue with "the game" it would be in my best interest to do as she requests. I will not list any chores other than to indicate that I am responsible for any chores she indicates that she wants done. I like the idea of the "code word" if I am not performing my tasks or chores to her satisfaction.

Both of you have indicated that your contracts have changed as you go along. I will be proposing a 3 month contract as a trial period. Part of that contract will have that at least once a week that we sit down and discuss not only what is right or wrong for us with "the game" but as well it will be time were both of us get out in the open any issues that we wish to discuss outside the game.

As far as the game goes I will have imput to suggest changes, additions or deletions however the keyholder will have the final says as to what changes are or are not made.

If all goes well I hope to dive in the pool this Sunday.

newtochast57
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locked4her55
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Re: [chastehub] better husband, better lover

Post by locked4her55 »

We don't have a contract as she is quite comfortable in her role and likes to keep me on my toes by changing things up. Sometimes we have a specific date of release. Other times she just likes to keep me guessing.
newtochast57 wrote:If all goes well I hope to dive in the pool this Sunday.
Just remember to leave the keys on the pool deck. :lol:

Good Luck.
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chastehub
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Re: [chastehub] better husband, better lover

Post by chastehub »

Tomorrow marks my first full month of being locked in my MM JB 24x7. There have been no issues with wearing the device at work, and i have gotten quite used to the device to the point i often forget it is there. In fact, last night i reached down to scratch an itch and was startled when i felt the cage.

Over the past month i was released once for a couple days to resolve a "hot spot" -- that problem has not reoccurred -- and a couple times for doctors appointments. Otherwise, i have only been released for her to bring me to orgasm, on average once a week. MyBride has become comfortable with leaving me locked up while she enjoys an orgasm, and then rolling over so i can snuggle her to sleep while my junk tries to explode from the cage. Also, when she does release me, we leave the basering in place, and after play when things soften (which can take a while as the ring restricts blood flow), she has me lock right back up. With the CB6000 locking up was more involved, so i was usually left unlocked overnight after we played, and i'll admit there were times i woke in the middle of the night and rubbed out another orgasm. Now that is no longer an option.

My hope, and i have shared this with her, is that when she releases me it is not always for an orgasm, but sometimes just for edging and/or a ruined orgasm. So far she has always allowed me a full orgasm, but i look forward to (and also dread) the day she doesn't. Be careful what you wish for...right?
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Sincerely,

chastehub
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If you have 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow
Locked off and on...mostly on...in MM JB since 10Jan14,
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chastehub
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Re: [chastehub] better husband, better lover

Post by chastehub »

It has been 10 days since my last orgasm, which is not the longest i've ever gone, but the longest since being locked up continuously in the JB. MyBride had intentions of playing last week, but life got in the way so i remained locked up, and then she went out of town for 4 days.

She returned late last night, but was tired from a long day, so we went straight to bed. As we spooned and she drifted off, i had a raging erection trying to break the bars of the cage, and eventually had to get up to give things a chance to settle down. While she was away i didn't feel particularly horny, and even as we snuggled i didn't feel horny on an emotional level, so it was interesting to see how my body reacted to her return. Hoping we get to play soon; i'm obviously ready.
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chastehub
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If you have 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow
Locked off and on...mostly on...in MM JB since 10Jan14,
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chastehub
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Re: [chastehub] better husband, better lover

Post by chastehub »

i've noticed that MyBride's and my orgasm ratio is almost 1:1; when i bring her to orgasm she almost always returns the favor, with a few rare exceptions where she rolls over and says "thanks." And she has yet to unlock me, edge me and have me lock back up. Further, the longest i have gone without an orgasm is about 2 weeks, and that was back when we first started playing. Recently it has been about 6 days or less between orgasms. i'm noticing the sexual energy that drives my desire to serve her seems lower than in the past, and i've been wondering how that energy would change with longer lock-ups. Lastly, i've always wanted to try going 30days without orgasm.

So at the risk of topping from the bottom, on 31Mar i asked her to make April a "no orgasm month." So no orgasms until 1May or later; the actual release date is for her to decide. i asked her to hold firm; if i get into a horny lather and start to beg to be released early the answer is "no." And i asked that she consider unlocking me a time or two along the way for teasing. She said "Are you sure? Is this an April fools?" and i told her i was serious. She tugged on the cage, smiled and said "i don't understand you but, OK."

my first thought was "Be careful what you wish for" as my crank strained against the cage.
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Sincerely,

chastehub
-------------------------------
If you have 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow
Locked off and on...mostly on...in MM JB since 10Jan14,
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Michele
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Re: [chastehub] better husband, better lover

Post by Michele »

Sometimes putting your goals out there helps us kh's know what exactly we have to work with. As long as you accept that you may not get what you want because it's ultimately our decision. Just knowing hey we CAN push further helps us... we won't know unless we are told and you could start to resent us for not doing what you want even if we have no clue (can you tell I'm in the middle of writing a post about this? Haha)

Good luck and I hope things are very frustrating for you! :)
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Wife, Girlfriend & KeyHolder
My boys are Wearing: Jail Bird (cm) Steelheart (a)
Owned Devices: MM Jail Bird (x2), MM Spyder, MM Locking Double Cockring, Steelworxx Revenge
Click here for Our blog & Podcast
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