[Lisa_esq] Musings of a first time KeyHolder

[Lisa_esq]

First things first, I am not yet presently a KeyHolder. I anticipate becoming one, metaphorically speaking possibly as early as Sunday, most likely not until Monday. Where should I start? Well, the very basics? Okay.

Most of this has been mentioned in the hello forum when I first singed up, but in the interests of putting it all together... I'm 26 years old, getting married tomorrow, my hubby to be is a little older than me, he is a 47 year old widower. MC was a part of his relationship with his late wife and he would very much like it to be a part of ours. I'm not a fan of recreating experiences he had with her, everyone has learned the phrase "that's not how Janice did it" or words along those lines, is the quickest way to see the icy side of my personality. I have nothing against her, I never met her, I just don't want to live my life competing with a ghost.

So, long story short, I agreed to try out this MC lifestyle for him. But it is going to be on my terms, and as such, he is to play no role in my learning about the subject. So that brings me to this site, and this thread. I've done quite a bit of "research" on the internet on the subject. Most of what I found was more distrubing than informative, but this site seems to be an exception so, I'm counting on the members of this site to help me out. Feel free to jump in with comments, tips, advice, etc. as I chart my journey. Keep in mind, I'm very open minded and don't offend easily. I've sown my share of "wild oats", and have some experience with kink already, although predominately on the sub side.

Well, I just got inspired to bang this out quickly while I was changing after this evening's rehearsal dinner. I'm off to meet up with a few of "the girls" in the bar while my hubby to be is off having his "bachelor party". I'm actually looking forward to hearing what his best "man" planned for it, considering it was his daughter.

Stay tuned for updates.
-L

[locked4her55]

First of all CONGRATS L since by the time you read this I believe you will be officially Mrs. L.

I agree that you have come to the best site around for honest, no BS talk about MC.

Once things settle down for the two of you, plan on firing away with your questions and comments.

[TwistedMister]

Congrats and good luck!

...it is going to be on my terms, and as such, he is to play no role in my learning about the subject.

That should make things 'interesting' for him.

So that brings me to this site, and this thread. I've done quite a bit of "research" on the internet on the subject. Most of what I found was more distrubing than informative, but this site seems to be an exception...

Yes, I think that most of us try to maintain at least *some* grasp on reality.

...so, I'm counting on the members of this site to help me out. Feel free to jump in with comments, tips, advice, etc. as I chart my journey. Keep in mind, I'm very open minded and don't offend easily.

That's a good thing. Some of us (such as myself) might be just a little 'disturbed' and have ideas that tend to be on the kinkier side while others are a bit more 'normal'. Take what you want and leave the rest (isn't that a line from a song?).

[sandman9356]

Hello and congratulations, Mrs -L

I can second the opinion that this site is one of the most sensible places that deal with chastity. However, what works for one couple can create problems for another, so no matter how many people here may try to give you honest advice, you will have to use your own head, your own emotions and your own common sense.

You wrote that your - by now, I assume - husband has little say in your research.Well, my first advice is you should learn (if you need to) to say what you think is obvious and learn to listen. Neither men nor women are telepaths. And while I do understand you not wanting to compete with a ghost, you need to discover what works for you and your husband.

So once you're ready for this kind of play, come back here and ask away. We'll try to give you ideas

[wishful4]

Lisa_esq,

Welcome to the forum and I applaud your good judgement for joining. I have been trying to get my spouse to join for a couple of years now without success. She say she has no interest in what others are doing while my feelings are that there is wisdom to be gained in reading about other's experiences. Guess it comes from my past employment where we routinely reviewed others errors and misfortunes to avoid making the same mistakes ourselves.

I wholeheartedly agree that you should make the MC dynamic YOURS and not rehash his prior experiences. However, I think it would be valuable for you to know what his expectations are even though this MC relationship is going to be about what YOU want. What he experienced in the past, especially what parts he thought made him a better spouse, may be helpful as long as you make it clear not to necessarily expect similar from you.

As I'm sure you have discovered, there are tons of print, blogs, and other resources about MC, some good, some worthless out there. What I have found is that you can read a 100 page book for maybe 1 or 2 pages of helpful information on the subject and everyone thinks their way is right. One thing I think everyone agrees on is to communicate, communicate, and communicate.

My spouse and I have been at this for several years now. Not all of it has been smooth sailing. Although I could give a lot of advice and opinion of what to do and what not to do, I will only post from time to time if you have a specific question or I think I can make a helpful suggestion. I envy your starting this journey at such a young age and wish we had discovered MC much earlier than we did. I just think it has so much potential to make a good relationship great and I am excited for the two of you.

[Lisa_esq]

I am typing this on my smart phone in passenger seat of the car returning from our post wedding vacation in the woods. I just want to make three quick points, ill expand some over the weekend.

1) I'm officially a literal key holder now.
2) thank you for your congratulations on my marriage. And
3) I may have been less then clear in my first post. Of course communication with S. will be key through this journey.

-Lisa

[KeyheldHubby]

Congratulations on your marriage!

And welcome to a wild, roller-coaster ride.

Being in chastity, with my "boy bits" locked up and Mrs. KHH holding the key has definitely... Oh yes DEFINITELY... made me a better, more loving hubby.

Wouldn't change it for the world now.

[Lisa_esq]

Well Hello,

I finally have a chance to write a bit longer of a post. I had hoped to do so over the weekend but a couple things came up and next thing I know it's "Back to Work After Vacation" Monday, and now, it's Tuesday evening but here I am. (deep breath)

When I started planning this post out in my head while I was away there was a lot of things I wanted to discuss. But, some of them a pretty deep and I want to be sure I explore my thoughts fully before committing them to writing, and I want to make sure I address them thoroughly when I set about to those thoughts down. So I'll save my thoughts on subjects like "why I'm granting my new husband his fantasy of chastity"; "Lisa's rules for MC in our marriage" and "to cuck or not to cuck" for future posts. I will just use tonight's posting to document some of the highlights of my first week as a Key Holder.

As you know, my husband's fantasy/history with MC was introduced to me quite early in our relationship, a little bit past the initial courtship, but not quite into the "pre-engagement" period. Initially I deflected the topic by suggesting that is the type of game married couples play. That bought me some time, and I'm very thankful it did, because I wasn't at all into the idea when it was first broached. My then boyfriend, wisely let the topic slip into the ether until our relationship progressed to the point of him being ready to propose and me being ready to accept that proposal. We had a rather lengthy discussion on the subject the weekend before he proposed to me which ended with my agreeing to give it a "fair chance" after we officially tied the knot.

Fast forward to a week ago this past Saturday. That afternoon, at a small, resort a few hours drive from our home, in front of a reasonably sized group of close freinds and family members (which included my younger brother, 21 who took great delight in telling me in an e-mail sent to my work account that he "hooked up" with my new step daughter of the same age) I became officially Mrs. S.G. (I just decided I'll refer to my husband as S. going forward)

I'm just going to take a moment for an aside here. In the ten or so years that I have been sexually active I have had a very wide experiences. Some were remarkable, a few were forgettable, a couple would be best forgotten as undoubtedly several are, however the only true regret I have is not being able to experience being innocent bride, taken on her wedding night. Don't get me wrong, I certainly wouldn't trade my past experiences for that experience. There is within me something of a traditionalist however much some of my life choices might indicate otherwise. That's why for the week before the wedding I stayed a friend's apartment and insisted that S. and I have separate rooms for the first two nights we are the resort prior to our wedding day, a little be of celibacy for us both.

So, I won't go into the details, suffice it say I was quite randy on my wedding night, I think you'd have to go back to my highschool days to find a longer sexless period in my life. I'm proud to say S. acquitted himself quite nicely that night thank you very much. And well several times over the next day or so. When finally he literally waved a white flag of surrender (a towel from the resort) and rebuffed my advances after lunch on Tuesday last, I knew it was time to begin his fantasy.

... to be continued....

[kpb57]

Very nice and heartwarming post. May you stay blessed in your marriage.

-K

[Lisa_esq]

... Continued...

So it is early afternoon a week ago this past Tuesday (yesterday) my new husband has declined my invitation to yet another round of intercourse, the poor dear just couldn't keep up with a horny minx 21 years his junior . So I decided it was time to start fulfilling his chastity fantasy and I told him so.

Now initially I had told him our method of chastity enforcement was to be the honor system. My thinking being this is his fantasy, if he wants he'll abide by it. He seemed to have a look of disapointment in his eyes when I told him about that in the early stages of our engagement. To his credit though he accepted my wishes on that, and apart from the initial look in eyes did not complain and never brought the subject up again. However, viewing this site and others got me thinking about the issue some more.

I changed my mind on the no device issue, in part because I could tell he wanted one. But also largely because I believe there a difference between him not accessing his equipment because I've told him not to vs. not accessing it because it is inaccessable. I believe part of his MC fantasy to to surrender control of his sexuality to me, therefore he needs to feel that it is completly surrendered, not just voluntarily relinquished. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but it is my belief that part of what MC is to him is the physical impediment to his gratification, not merely his willingness not to. Also, some of the "key teases" ideas I've seen here and other places or even just imagined kind of turned me on.

So, back to the story, I told him that his first chastity period begins now and he is to consider himself "Locked". I then told him "As a special wedding present to you, I've decided that you shall wear chastity device and you are acquire one as quickly as possible when we return to the city". and I handed him a pink padlock, still in the package "you are to use this lock and I expect both keys to be given to me as quickly as possible".

Needless to say he was quite appreciative of his gift and gave me a big hug and wonderful kiss. Then he got a rather sheepish look which I questioned. It turned out that he was rather hopeful that I might change my mind on that subject and had already bought a new device and just on a whim he stuffed it into one of his bags as he was packing. I probably should have gotten cross with him for being so presumptuous, but, my excitement and curiosity got the better of me so told him to go get in and put it on.

While he scampered into one of his suitcases and then off into the bathroom, I decdided to slip into the skimpiest nighty and highest heels I brought with me. I then covered up with one of the resort's robes and sat down at the mirror to put on some make up. He came back into the room and stood behind me back a bit so I could see his full reflection in the mirror, he was naked except for the device, he had put the pad lock on and was holding the keys.

I'll spare you the details of the little tease session I gave him which culminated in my clicking the lock closed and having him remove my necklace and put the keys onto it and replace it on my neck.

That evening over dinner I suggested really committing to this for our first time and mail the keys to ourselves at home. Chances would be 50/50 that they beat us home on Friday, but if they didn't we'd have to wait the whole weekend until Monday. He liked the idea but was worried about the mail getting lost. I told him to worry we could trust Canada Post. (side note, I palmed one of the keys and kept in my purse, I'm not stupid, but he didn't know that)

So, I expected to have written this as only a metaphorical KeyHolder, but as circumstances have it, I'm a literal one. yeah me!