[Lisa_esq] Musings of a first time KeyHolder

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TwistedMister
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Re: [Lisa_esq] Musings of a first time KeyHolder

Post by TwistedMister »

I believe part of his MC fantasy to to surrender control of his sexuality to me, therefore he needs to feel that it is completley surrendered, not just voluntarily relinquished. I don't know if that makes sense or not...
Makes perfect sense. No device means that chastity is a 'choice', and he is still in control. A device removes the control, and the choice, and makes him dependent on *you* for release/relief- he is 'in' whether he *wants* to be, or not. It's a very different sort of feeling/mindset.
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Re: [Lisa_esq] Musings of a first time KeyHolder

Post by MissyBsBitch »

Lisa_esq wrote: I changed my mind on the no device issue, in part because I could tell he wanted one. But also largely because I believe there a difference between him not accessing his equipment because I've told him not to vs. not accessing it because it is inaccessable. I believe part of his MC fantasy to to surrender control of his sexuality to me, therefore he needs to feel that it is completly surrendered, not just voluntarily relinquished. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but it is my belief that part of what MC is to him is the physical impediment to his gratification, not merely his willingness not to. Also, some of the "key teases" ideas I've seen here and other places or even just imagined kind of turned me on.
I agree with this, the device makes it feel less of a choice and more forced, surrendered.
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Re: [Lisa_esq] Musings of a first time KeyHolder

Post by WifeIsVanilla »

Not to mention the endorphin flow created by the wearing a device :)
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Re: [Lisa_esq] Musings of a first time KeyHolder

Post by Lisa_esq »

Hello Again,

Life really took off on me over the last couple of weeks I actually had my first trial as lead counsel wrap up this past week. It was a slam dunk case that never should have went to trial, but the lawyer on the side thought he could bully the "pretty, young, girl lawyer" and wouldn't settle. I won't want to be in his shoes when the decision comes in.

So that's why I've been away, should I perhaps pick up my story?

Well we finished our week away with DH in chastity. Towards the end of the week I was getting to point where I didn't even feel guilty about just going to sleep after receiving and hour and half of DH's oral attention. I was finding the role of KeyHolder to be more fun than I expected it would be. I was also finding that I slipping into the role easier than I thought I could.

When we got home there was a large stack of mail. To be expected since we away from the house for two weeks. After we settled in a bit we split the pile of mail up and started sorting through it when DH stopped very quickly and rushed over to me with the envelope that contained his keys. It was cute. I was very proud of myself for playing it as cool as I did. I took the envelope from him and with out even looking at it dropped into the pile that I was forming of my mail, saying "that's nice" and continued sorting my stack into the three piles (mine, his and junk).

The truth is I was a little disappointed the keys got to us that quickly. I wanted to test myself to see I could keep up the charade that both keys were inaccessible to us for the weekend. Needless to say without the charade I was couldn't control myself and I unlocked him later that night so my first stint as a Keyholder ended after about 3.5 days.

Now, is when I tell you about one of "Lisa's Rules for Chastity" the rule we are going to discuss is this:
"Chastity is not a punishment, it is a reward that must be earned"

The way my husband earns his chastity, at present is essentially, get me to the point where I am resisting his advances. I am sure this will change over time, but right now, this what I want, if only to just reassure myself that chastity is a kink to him, not a lack of desire for me. Now, I have a great husband, he tried valiantly that weekend to get himself locked back up he just didn't quite make it. Plus I wanted to make it extra hard for him the first time.

That Monday back to work things got crazy, and just kept getting worse. It wouldn't have taken much from him in the ensuing weeks to put me into a position where to stay true to my words I'd have had to lock him back up. To his credit he must have recognized I needed the space, he spent the last couple weeks being receptive and appreciative of my advances but he didn't even attempt one of his own.

Now, my trial wrapped up Thursday, and I took yesterday off. He cleared his calendar as well and, well I'll save you the details but about 4 hours ago someone got locked back up. I am going to see If I can go the whole week this time before I break down.
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Re: [Lisa_esq] Musings of a first time KeyHolder

Post by happyman1 »

First off, congrats on the case. I hope the opposing attorney learned his lesson, don't underestimate a woman. My first boss was a woman, ex cop, didn't put up with anybody's bullshit. I've worked for other women in the past and they all seemed capable in their jobs, maybe it's because everyone underestimated them. As for giving in on the chastity time, it'll get longer for you. Keeping hubby locked up and pleasing you orally has to be great for you. Remember you're the one in control, and everyone does this different. I am a 24/7 wearer, and basically it seems like my wife forgets I am in a CD half the time. I have to remind her I need out for hygiene reasons on occasion. I am in CB6ks and can't clean it, or myself as thorough as I wish so I get it taken off every so often. It's just routine now. Congrats on the marriage and welcome to being more and more comfortable as a KH!
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Re: [Lisa_esq] Musings of a first time KeyHolder

Post by Lisa_esq »

Let me begin this post a couple of holiday related wishes. To any and all celebrating Chanukah, happy Chanukah! To any and all Americans reading this, Happy Thanksgiving. Being a Canadian lapsed Protestant I am of course celebrating neither but best wishes to all who are. Although, I kind of am celebrating a bit of Thanksgiving this week, the only major file I have open right now is for an American based client, and I can't really do anything on their file until I receive a response to inquiries I sent this morning, which I don't expect to receive until next week. So next week will probably be an 80 hour work week, but today and tomorrow are half days!

Now,today's topic: Climbing the Wall. As in, I am the one climbing the wall here. As we covered above my husband is currently in his second chastity stint with me, it began last Saturday and I plan on making it last until this Saturday. I don't know if I can hold out that long. I have been getting plenty of great oral, I've even taken to taking matters into my own hands,and it is great and all, but...

Perhaps because I have always had older, more mature male partners sex has always STARTED with me having a couple orgasms from oral sex and ended with the male orgasm. That's what I'm looking for, even if it ends with me halfway built up to my next orgasm. Think of it as a great movie with a lousy ending, there's something unsatisfying about the unfinished business if you stop watching after the good scene and don't see it through to the end right?

If anyone has any thoughts on how I can deal with this frustration please let me know. Even if your best advice is just to give it time....

Since I have a bit of time before hubby, oh right I said earlier in this thread I was going to call him my HIC, gets home let me sketch out my plan for my tease tonight. Let me just say this, if there is one part of MC that I love, it is the teasing sessions. Granted they seem to leave me more frustrated than they leave him, but I enjoy them. I look forward to them, I love planning them. Plus, I mean, they are a great excuse to spend his money on lingerie,and I have a bit of a lingerie fetish.

So, tonight, my HIC is a big Steelers fan and they are the late game tonight. So of course, he is going to watch the game. I should note, I'm a football fan also, my team is the Dolphins, so this isn't just some ruse to ruin the game for him. But I am going to distract him...

First quarter is going to be nothing too extreme, I'll have him give me a long massage of my stocking clad feet, combined with what I hope to be able pull off, a few well time peeks up my skirt. At the end of the first quarter I'm going to excuse myself and change into a new lingerie set (corset, thong, stockings and sheer gown) that arrived in the mail today and I'll spend the second quarter either sitting on his lap or frittering around the living room/kitchen area... He'll spend half time out of his cage getting some "fresh air" and some serious hands on teasing, but back into the cage he'll go before kickoff. I'm going to spend the third quarter playing with my toys. The 4th quarter will be his chance to say "thank you" ;)

I'll try to let you know how it went tomorrow night.
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Re: [Lisa_esq] Musings of a first time KeyHolder

Post by Michele »

Just so you know... I get those I need to feel him things too and when not doing what I'm currently doing (absolutely zero time out of the cage), I will take him out on my "crazy days" as we call them and use the hell out of my cock and instruct him not to cum and then I put him directly back in the cage!

It's not perfect but getting to organs around that cock helps a little for me even though I don't feel him fill me up with cum like I'm really craving.

Maybe this would work for you?!
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Re: [Lisa_esq] Musings of a first time KeyHolder

Post by locked4her55 »

Lisa_esq wrote:First quarter is going to be . . . . I'll spend the second quarter . . . . third quarter playing with my toys. The 4th quarter will be his chance to say "thank you" ;)
I hope for his sake you folks have a DVR. :lol:
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Re: [Lisa_esq] Musings of a first time KeyHolder

Post by Lisa_esq »

Ok, so it's been about 10 days since I updated this little blog so if nothing else, since I have the time I thought I'd update.

When last I left you I was outlining my tease plans for my HIC during the Steelers' game on Thanksgiving. The night didn't go fully according to plan, well it did through the first three quarters. However, I think I might have gotten a little carried away with my toy session during the third quarter combined with how good the game was I just wasn't in the right place to receive an oral session during the fourth quarter. Therefore I had to improvise.

My improvisation was to offer my HIC a challenge, I'd unlock him and give him an oral tease if he'd agree to a couple rules. Rule number 1) he was not allowed to cum. 2) I'd stop whenever he would say "stop". 3) "Stop meant no more, and back into the cage he goes, there was no "slow down" or "just a minute". 4) it was to be a tease not a full on BJ 5) if he made it through the full 4th quarter without saying "Stop" or cumming he'd get a special treat. and 6) if he came, he'd get punished.

He agreed to my terms, but he had to stop me about halfway through the quarter. That was pretty much my plan, I'm glad I didn't have to punish him, but I had no intention of letting him just enjoy my attentions for a full quarter of a a football game, after a few minutes of playing around I got serious and broke his will to hold out. But! Kudos to him for being man enough to resist temptation and tap out.

Something else that was going on during the time of my last post was my desire to keep him in chastity until last Saturday. That would have represented 8 days, our longest stretch to date. I am proud to say I made it. In fact, I am extra proud of myself because I didn't do something silly like limp over the goal line and wake him up for a 6am shag on Saturday morning, but instead, I held out until into the evening.

Now for a variety of reasons, I have temporarily suspended my rule about how he earns his way back into chastity. I'm not going to get into them right now, but suffice it to say his period of freedom only lasted until this past Wednesday night when he went back into chastity. Although, this time, unlike last time I'm not looking to extend upon the previously set lock up period, This current chastity session will end possibly tonight, if not tomorrow night.

The final thing from my previous post that I want to touch is related to my solicitation for advise on my "climbing the walls". That you to those who commented in the thread. But to one helpful sole he private messaged me his advice: "consider cuckolding" I'm going to protect your identity but still publicly discuss your advice.

My short position on the subject is that it might play a role in our future, but it won't play a role in our present.

My longer position is a little multifaceted. First and foremost, I have in the past been in a "swinger" relationship. Cuckolding is a step from swinging, but not as big a step as it is from monogamy. My husband and I have never "swung". He has once or twice, in passing, suggested a desire to be cukolded. He has never broached it in a discussion so I don't know where it falls in terms a fantasy for him, i.e, is just something he likes to think about from time to time or is it a real desire that he would like to really experience. So to my mind the following things have to happen before I would cuckold him:

1) I'd have to be convinced that it is something he truly wants
2) I'd have to be convinced that it is something our relationship could survive
3) I'd have to decide that it is something that I wanting to do and able to do safely (both physically and emotionally)

That's a lot of stuff that has to happen, and I left out something else.

I want to have children, and I am NOT going to be sexually active with another man while trying to have children with husband. I would love to have three children, would be quite content with two and would be very ok if fate deigned to give me only one. My husband feels the same way, but notes he already has a daughter and encourages me to think the same way. The facts are I can't. his daughter was 14 when her mother died; 17 when I started dating her father; away at college when he and I moved in together... for heavens sake she hooked up with my brother at our wedding. If she was one year older and I was one year younger we would have gone to the same high school at the same time. Forgive that digression.

Suffice it say, given my husband's age, we have about 3-5 year window to have 1-3 kids. The goal is to have two kids in the next 3 years, so I am in hard core baby making mode. So there will be no cuckolding in the foreseeable future. And chastity will be used not just as a tool to spice up the sex life, but an aide in conception.

Anyways, until next time,

-Lisa
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Re: [Lisa_esq] Musings of a first time KeyHolder

Post by RegularJoe »

I know these 'Journey' threads are not places for lot of comment, but I'll venture in unsolicited opinion regarding cuckolding, as one who has experienced its complexity.

I doubt it would have worked early in my marriage, or when our children were little. Emotionally, it's simply too entangling; my wife would have been too engaged in that relationship to keep ours going, let alone raise children. That's not a path for a marriage that's still just developing...it's probably not a good one for an old 'rock solid' marriage.
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